Читать книгу From Orchards to Outback - Tracey Friday - Страница 7

It was a stifling hot morning and the humidity was already exhausting. In one more day she would be docking in her new homeland and Maggie had to remind herself that this was indeed January, when she would usually expect freezing temperatures and snow. The seasons were going to be topsy-turvy for her from now on and she thought it was bizarre that her July, previously summer, birthday would now be during midwinter.

She could feel her auburn curls already becoming a little wild from the humidity as she glanced in the small mirror on her cabin wall to try and regain some control. But, as she suspected, it was a losing battle. Maggie breathed in deeply and held her breath for a moment before exhaling slowly. To calm herself, she clutched the pendant she wore for strength and support. Inside the pendant she had secured the koala four-penny stamp that had been her sole driving force since she was a small child, and had, amazingly, led to her being where she was today.

During the long voyage, there had been ample time to reflect and analyse the tragedies that had dominated her young life. In an ideal world, she would have left those heartbreaking memories behind to start afresh in Australia, but life wasn’t that simple. To forget would mean that she would have to stop thinking about her beloved father, and she would never do that. She still missed him so much. She had been on the cusp of her eighth birthday when her father was killed, a short time after D-Day was announced in 1944 when a flying bomb was shot down in the village by anti-aircraft fire.

The bomb had tragically claimed eleven lives and more than ever Maggie had wanted her mother’s love, warmth and comfort. She could see that the other children had loving and caring mothers, so why shouldn’t she want the same? But Iris had withdrawn from Maggie and plummeted to depths where her true colours had bubbled to the surface. She cruelly rejected the child she had never wanted in the first place and Maggie had felt orphaned from that day on.

Maggie felt humiliated and embarrassed as she watched her mother alienate their friends and neighbours where Iris soon became the village nuisance through her drunken behaviour.

Without any thought or due care, Iris often left Maggie to fend for herself for days on end without any food in the house while she went on binges with her lover.

Maggie would often lie awake for hours wondering where her mother could be. When Iris did come home, often in the early hours, she would make so much noise as she stumbled about downstairs, that Maggie found it hard to sleep. More often than not, Maggie would be sleepy during school time and, as punishment, was banished to the corridor where she missed out on valuable lessons.

Apart from her lack of sleep, Maggie found that being hungry was difficult, particularly when she felt weak and sick. She was still remorseful recalling the time when she had stolen her classmates lunch because she was so famished and had been too ashamed to tell anyone. This included her beloved Grandma Harris and, as she was unwell, Maggie hadn’t wanted to burden her.

Betty, her mother’s once best friend, had noticed a change in Maggie as she was becoming much quieter and withdrawn and, try as she might, Maggie assured her that everything was alright.

Betty wasn’t quite deterred as she voiced her concerns to Dora, Maggie’s grandma, but like everyone else, they didn’t know the full extent of Maggie’s struggle.

Dora had been ostracised since Iris spitefully banned her from attending her own son’s funeral and also limited her contact with Maggie. But, when Maggie was eleven years old, she had met her after school one afternoon and felt extremely guilty that she hadn’t intervened sooner. The weight of what had been going on was too much on Maggie’s tiny shoulders as she told her grandma everything.

Grandma Harris had been so enraged that she accompanied Maggie home to confront Iris and, not surprisingly, they found her in a drunken stupor. Grandma told Maggie to fetch her belongings and for the next seven years they lived together happily until Grandma Harris passed away.

Maggie persevered with her mother over many years trying to find the reason why she had rejected her, but time after time the answer was never forthcoming. Perhaps there had never been a specific reason in the first place? Only Iris could answer that. All Maggie had ever wanted to know was why?

For such a small word, it presented the largest question that dominated her thoughts.

Just a few days prior to setting sail, Maggie had felt somewhat duty bound to bid her mother farewell. The visit had turned into an almighty argument when her mother accused her of being responsible for her father’s death. Maggie left the house vowing she wouldn’t waste any more tears over this woman ever again.

She thought back to her last week in England. It had been highly emotional and she was determined not to dwell too much on the spiteful things that her mother had said. But, it was easier said than done as she replayed the awful scene in her mind over and over wishing for a different outcome that she knew would never happen.

She switched her thoughts to the magnificient party held in her honour at Primrose Manor. The Squire had brought Christmas forward as the Great Hall was decorated in its finest festive glory as Maggie bade everyone a fond farewell.

Time had been against her and before she knew it, she was carrying her suitcases and walking down towards the village train station fully aware that Sally was watching her every move from her window. How Maggie had wanted to turn around, to see her best friend one last time, but she didn’t trust herself to do so. Maggie knew that if she turned around, then she would stay and her dream would be lost forever.

She had a chance at a fresh start and she was going to grab it with both hands.