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Cuddle with baby

Babies are happy with almost constant contact in their first few months. Touch feels good!

Affectionate touch is essential for cognitive and emotional development. More technically: touch triggers the release of certain neurotransmitters, which soothe the nervous system and lower baby’s levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. Touch signals safety to the brain.

At the extreme negative end, babies not touched for days on end simply stare off into space. Their stress-response system is damaged, creating a cascade of negative effects.

Ways to get close

In baby’s first weeks, you’re in a haze just trying to get the hang of all this feeding, burping, napping, pooping, and generally keeping baby alive. Then, at some point in the day, all of those things have occurred, and you may wonder: Now what do we do?

Instead of setting baby in a swing to stare at mobiles, cuddle up:

Go skin to skin. Let your newborn, wearing only a diaper, rest on mom’s or dad’s bare chest. Snuggle with baby in bed the same way. Breastfeed topless at home. Your skin warms baby, but you can also put a blanket over the two of you. Being skin to skin, or nursing, when the doctor gives baby heel pricks or shots also lowers baby’s stress.

Wrap baby against your body. Use a soft-structured carrier, sling, or wrap while you run your errands, do some chores, or go for a walk. (After you’ve recovered from the labor, I mean—don’t go anywhere at first, if you can help it!) Save the stroller for when baby gets heavy or you need to haul stuff.

Massage baby each day. Researchers found that 4-month-olds who got a daily eight-minute massage were

• in a better mood,

• less anxious and stressed,

• more attentive, and

• sleeping more regularly.

Seems to me like massage does the same for moms . . .

Start with baby on his back, then his tummy. The pressure needs to be moderate, not too light. In India, where baby massage is a centuries-old tradition, women lay baby on their outstretched legs and work vigorously with warm oil. (Search online for a video to get an idea of the amount of pressure.) Talk to, sing to, or smile at baby while you massage. A silent, distant massage only raises baby’s stress level. If baby seems agitated, adjust your touch, or try another time—baby may just need a break right now (see page).

THE RESEARCH

In one study, preterm babies got skin-to-skin contact (”kangaroo care”) each day. Each time researchers followed up, between 6 months old and 10 years old, these babies had more efficient stress responses, more organized sleep patterns, and better executive function than preterm babies cared for in an incubator. The new moms were less anxious, too.