Читать книгу Project: Parenthood - Trish Wylie - Страница 10

CRITICAL didn’t kick in until just before she was due to leave the office to collect the children. That was when she got word that the meeting with potentially her biggest ever clients had been brought up a few days, and she had a presentation that wasn’t even halfway done.

The headache started then.

At the daycare centre no amount of pleading or bribery would get the children booked in again. They were full to the gills as it was, and it was only because one family had been on holiday that they’d had space for one day.

Her head was pounding by the time she got to the local supermarket.

‘I want fish fingers!’

‘No, chicken nuggets!

‘Fish fingers!’

‘Nuggets!’

‘If you two don’t stop this minute you’re both getting cauliflower and nothing else.’ She negotiated her way around an end-of-aisle display, missing toppling a pyramid of washing powder boxes by inches.

She’d had dozens of trollies to pick from, and had still managed to pick the one with the dodgy wheel. Someone somewhere really had it in for her.

Katie pulled a face. Teagan stopped the trolley at the top of the cereal aisle and raised an eyebrow at her. ‘You don’t love cauliflower, Katie?’

The five-year-old held her arms around her waist and pretended to gag. Which made Teagan laugh. She was better laughing, she guessed. Otherwise she would have to stand and weep in public.

‘Fish fingers.’ Katie nodded furiously, then took a moment to think and added, ‘Please?’

‘Please certainly helps.’ Teagan began to push the trolley again. ‘Tell you what, let’s do cereal first, and then we can decide what we’re having for dinner.’

It was after nearly fifteen minutes of debate on nutritional value versus free gift in box when Brendan appeared around the corner with a basket.

‘Aw, hell.’ Teagan looked down at Meghan’s smiling face.

‘You said a bad thing!’

‘I’m sorry, Katie.’ She pinned a smile on her face as Brendan approached. ‘Hello, again.’

‘I’m not stalking you, if that’s what you think.’

The thought had occurred. ‘It’s the closest supermarket.’

Katie tugged on his arm. ‘You fixed the wheel, didn’t you?’

‘Yes, that was me.’ He hunkered down and smiled broadly at her. ‘You getting cereal? I like those ones too.’

‘You get a book with them.’ Katie hugged the box.

‘And about a zillion preservatives,’ Teagan cut in.

‘They’ll help her live longer.’

‘No, they won’t.’ Teagan scowled down at him. ‘Something with bran in it would be much healthier.’

Brendan made a similar gagging face to the one Katie had made during the cauliflower discussion and Katie giggled at him. ‘Yuck.’

Leaning down towards his ear, Teagan snapped, ‘Not helping.’

She stood up abruptly as he rose to his feet, felt herself get shy as he examined her face. ‘You look wrecked. Tough day?’

‘You have no idea.’ She caved on the cereal with the book, soothing her conscience by at least believing that reading was educational, and vowing to balance it up by adding in some porridge oats. She’d worry about negotiations later. ‘And it’s only getting worse.’

Falling into step beside her, he reached a hand out and grabbed a box. ‘Worse how?’

With no idea whatsoever why she was doing it, Teagan started to spill her problems. ‘The deal I’m working on has been moved up, and I have this huge presentation to do in two days.’

Brendan nodded, adding more to his basket as they rounded the corner. ‘And you have the kids at the same time?’

‘Yes. And the daycare centre can’t take them.’

‘So, you’d say you were stuck, then?’

She stopped her trolley by the low refrigerators and glared at him. ‘I have a list of childminders to call when I get home.’

‘And if they can’t take them at short notice?’

Then she was in big trouble. Blinking at his calm face, she felt the headache thump harder at her temples. If it had been anyone else on the entire planet…

‘Then I’ll have to see if the meeting can be put back a couple of days.’ She just about managed to hide a grimace as she reached for frozen fish fingers and chicken nuggets.

Brendan stood silently until she looked back at him. ‘Did your sister understand how busy you are in work right now?’

She kept her face hidden as she examined the contents of the fridge. ‘She has some stuff that she has to deal with right now. It’s important.’

He watched as she aimed a brief smile at him.

‘Not cauliflower, Auntie Teagan.’

‘It’s good for us, Katie.’

‘But it tastes yucky.’

‘We’ll put cheese sauce on it and it’ll be grand.’ She ruffled Katie’s hair and then glanced at Brendan from beneath her lashes. ‘I better go get this lot fed.’

‘Sure.’ He nodded, then waited to speak again as she started to force her wobbly trolley away from him. ‘But remember the offer of help is still there if you need it, Teagan. Really.’

They couldn’t change the meeting. And none of the child-minders she’d been given numbers for had space for all three children. Which would mean splitting them up. Which Teagan couldn’t do. She had accepted responsibility for them and that was that.

So she had no choice but to bite the bullet and ask for help. From Brendan. Just for one day.

And he didn’t even take a second to be smug about it when he came to the house the next day. Which made her feel worse. She so didn’t want him to be around. Seriously.

Then and there Teagan decided it was time to track her sister down. It wasn’t that she didn’t want her nephew and nieces to stay. She did. It would be nice to spend more time with them. Really.

Just not right smack-bang in the middle of a big work deal.

When she got home Brendan had the world under control. Nothing appeared to have got stained, smeared or smashed since she’d left. And that in itself was a miracle she hadn’t managed in the last forty-eight hours.

She sighed as she sat down at the counter in the kitchen, and smiled at the coffee he handed her.

‘It’s official, just so you know. I’m going to kill her when I get her.’

Harsh words. But for a split second Teagan honestly meant them. Her responsibility for her younger sister’s problems should long since have ended. Somewhere around the time they both grew up and left the small hell they’d called home.

Brendan smiled from the other side of the room, ‘Couldn’t get through to your sister, I take it?’

‘Good guess.’ She managed a small smile in return, ‘It’s not that I don’t want them. It’s just that I can’t manage this right now.’

‘Yes, you can.’ His all too familiar deeply male voice sounded firm. ‘You don’t have a choice.’

‘Of course I have a choice. I can track her down and she can take them home!’

‘But that’s just it. You can’t, can you?’ His fair eyebrow raised a notch as he stared at her with eyes so dark a blue that from across the room they were almost black. ‘Where else can they go ’til you find her?’

She glared across at him. To add to her sister’s list of transgressions she now had the fact that she was being forced to spend time with the one man she’d spent nine years avoiding.

Up until he’d reappeared she’d managed to live by the ‘out of sight out of mind’ rule. Hadn’t ever bumped into him at a party, or made the mistake of attending any reunion-type thing he might have been at.

Now, thanks to her sister, she had no choice but to accept his help. Which had brought him into her house and directly into her line of vision. Up close and personal.

The best-laid plans…

‘Teagan?’ His voice sounded again when she went silent.

‘Sorry.’ She scowled down into her coffee mug and tried to find answers there. ‘I can’t keep looking after three little kids under ten. Not right now. And I can’t keep imposing on you either. I was only supposed to have them for a few days, and this contract in work wasn’t due to finalise ’til next week.’

‘It’s no big deal. I don’t mind.’

When she looked up again he was studying her, his eyes as warm as his voice was reassuring.

It was unnerving as all hell. ‘You may not, but I do.’

‘You can’t want to see them in the care of someone you don’t know? Not really.’

She scowled at his statement, admitting inwardly that that was probably the reason she got a headache every time she spoke to someone about childcare or daycare. It just didn’t sit well on her.

What she wanted was for her sister to get herself home so that Teagan herself could have her life back. She would even offer to babysit a night or two, so that Eimear and Mac could have time alone, and she’d reschedule for them to stay. That would be fair, wouldn’t it? And it would ease her guilt at not being able to help somewhat. Well, a little anyway.

It was kind of a moot point right that minute, though. She sighed. ‘I can’t bring them with me to the office. If I mess up this contract…’ The words trailed off.

Despite the serious tone of her statement, Brendan’s eyes sparkled with amusement. With her scowl as a response, he cleared his throat and forced a calm look on his face. ‘You’re right. Having seen what they can do to a living room in one afternoon, I guess the office is probably not a good idea mid-presentation.’

‘Cream was a practical colour for a suite when I lived here alone.’ She thought nostalgically of the days when all the creams and beiges of her modern interior had looked pristine. They couldn’t have spilt something on something darker, where it wouldn’t have shown, could they?

A small chuckle escaped. ‘Thank the Lord for cushions, though. They can cover any flavour fruit juice. Even blackcurrant.’

Teagan glared. ‘I’m glad you find this so amusing.’

‘Aw, c’mon—you can barely see the stains when the cushions are in the right places. I always knew there had to be some use for throw cushions.’ He continued to smile, adding with a shrug, ‘They’re such a girl thing.’

‘I still know the stains are there.’ She did her best to hide a smile of amusement. Though at the time it had happened she hadn’t been so amused. She’d worked damn hard to have her lovely home lovely, spent hours poring over catalogues and wandering around furniture stores. Making things kid-proof had never once been a consideration in any of her purchases.

Pushing his large frame away from the edge of a granite counter-top, Brendan walked the two paces necessary to stand right in front of her, his voice silken. ‘They need you.’

‘I’m not their mother, though. Their mother should be here.’ She tried really hard not to notice how close he was, or how he made words sound so seductive. Her eyes flickered up to his face. Was it possible for someone to look better under close inspection than they did from a distance? Even after nine years? Lord alone knew if she stood that close to her own reflection she’d find flaws. Plenty of them. And every blasted one of them a reminder that she wasn’t twenty-one any more.

With a swallow she forced herself to stare at a dark button on the front of his shirt. Buttons were nice, safe things to look at. She would just focus on the button while she forced herself to find some miraculous solution to her dilemma. Reasoning to herself that while focusing on the button she wouldn’t get distracted by looking into deeply blue eyes. Even when she knew they were still looking at her.

‘No, you’re not their mother.’ He waited patiently until his silence, and his close proximity, forced her eyes to tilt up to meet his again. ‘But they need you to be a substitute for them right now. You don’t really have a choice, do you?’

‘I’m aware of that, thank you.’

‘Then you just have to manage. You’ll be grand.’

He made it sound so simple. How could he know? It wasn’t as if she’d ever explained to him the life choice she’d made such a long time ago. A choice that most certainly didn’t involve three children running around to shatter her solitude. It didn’t involve responsibility for any other life. Even one as small as a cat or a goldfish. No baggage. Eimear was supposed to have grown up enough so that she wasn’t Teagan’s responsibility any more. So that Teagan just had herself to look out for. And there were times when that was tough enough on its own.

She shouldn’t have to do this kind of thing any more. It just wasn’t fair. The petulant thought brought a frown to her face. Damn it. Now she was going to huff like a teenager too? That was great—just fabulous.

He watched her scowl for a few seconds, then turned his face from hers as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans. ‘I’ve told you I’ll help out where I can.’ He glanced back at her face. ‘And I mean that. I’ll not see you stuck.’

‘I know. You’ve said.’ She swallowed down a bubble of frustration. He just always had been such a nice guy, hadn’t he? And the simple truth was he was better with the children than she was—which made her even more resentful of his presence than she already was. ‘But this really isn’t your problem. It’s mine. I really don’t need you to feel you have to hop over here to rescue me every time there’s a crisis.’

‘Every guy likes to play the knight in shining armour now and again.’ He flashed a grin at her while ignoring her petulant tone. ‘You just happen to be the nearest damsel, is all.’

Teagan hated the idea of being seen as a damsel in distress. So much for all her years trying to be a strong and independent career girl. Capable and self-sufficient. All it took was something really heavy round her house, or her nemesis of something electrical, and she was as much use as a chocolate kettle.

But Brendan had to have work of his own to do—things that took up his time. She swallowed as she thought, Dates to occupy him.

She watched with slightly narrowed eyes as he turned, removed a hand from his pocket to rescue his mug and walked the two paces it took for him to get to the sink to rinse it out. Somewhere in her mind it occurred to her that everyone else took a lot longer to walk around her open-plan kitchen. But Brendan was so damned tall that he seemed to get everywhere in two long, confident steps. She’d forgotten over the years just how tall he was.

He certainly was way head and shoulders above her shoeless five foot seven. When he was around she had always had moments where she felt feminine. Maybe even a little small and damselish.

‘So, what are you going to do if you won’t accept some help?’

Good question.

‘I don’t know.’ She frowned again as the words came out all small and helpless. This really had to stop. ‘But I’m going to have to think of something until I can track down Eimear.’

‘And you’ve definitely tried everywhere?’

She’d told him as much when she’d rung to check on the children during the day, so the question brought her back up again.

‘No, I only rang the once and then gave up.’ Raising her hands to her hips, she tilted her head and stared at his back with a deadpan expression.

The sarcasm rolled right over him. ‘What about her friends?’

She sighed a resigned sigh. What was the point in being stroppy with him after all? It was hardly his fault. ‘No help. They only know that Mac took her on a romantic break somewhere on the Ring of Kerry.’

‘Somewhere that doesn’t have a phone so she could check on her kids?’

Which, had Teagan had her wits about her, she could have cured by taking the damn hotel details. Not that she’d thought about it while she was being so deftly hoodwinked. ‘They need some time alone.’

Brendan shook his head. ‘I don’t understand people like that.’

He wouldn’t, would he? Not this guy who had the kind of simple, easy, charmed existence that Teagan herself had only ever seen at the movies. He couldn’t possibly understand why Eimear would be so desperate to save her second marriage if it was in trouble. If he ever got round to getting married it would no doubt be roses and violins the whole damn time.

A bubble of anger grew in her stomach. He knew nothing. She’d bet that nothing more troublesome than running out of milk had ever happened in his life. Not that she’d taken the time to ask since they’d been thrown into each other’s paths again. It was really none of her business after all.

With his cup rinsed and set on the drainer, he turned and looked back at her face. He went silent for a moment when he saw the spark of anger in her eyes. Even after their years apart he still knew the warning signs of an impending argument. She was obviously as angry at her sister as he would have been, given the same circumstances, but she refused to hear a bad word spoken about her.

With a shrug, he let it drop. ‘Well, you know where I am if you need a hand.’

Oh, she knew, all right. Right across the street. Right under her nose. To remind her every day of all the reasons she had to stay well away from him. Especially if there was ever any mistletoe in sight. Teagan had the memory of an elephant.

‘Thanks for looking after them today.’

‘No problem.’ He frowned for a second, deep in thought, poised on the balls of his feet as if he might step forward again. Then he simply smiled a small smile and walked the two paces it took for him to get to her back door. ‘I have some work to clear up at home tomorrow, so I’ll be around if you need a hand.’

‘Okay. Thanks again.’ Though even as she said the words she knew she would do everything in her power to make sure she didn’t have to make that call.

After the door closed behind him, she stood in the same place for a long while. The house was silent, bar the background noise from the television in her front room. If it hadn’t been for that noise to remind her she wasn’t alone she might have allowed herself to wallow in the moment of loneliness she felt.

But it wasn’t because of him, she reminded herself. It was just the way she’d probably always felt but had never really allowed herself to acknowledge. It was an emptiness inside that she’d taken years to control and to bury—even from herself, it seemed.

Part of her truly hated him for the fact that he had reminded her it was there. That it might have been well hidden but it hadn’t gone away. Maybe never would.

She wasn’t the only one who fought it, though, she guessed.

Although right at that moment she may have wanted to kill her sister for taking this trip of hers, and inconvenient timing as it was, she couldn’t hate her for it. Because she understood.

Eimear was probably fighting her own version of that hollowness, and having her children obviously wasn’t enough on its own. She wanted the whole shebang—wanted a man by her side, to be made to feel loved and safe. While Teagan had chosen to find the solution in her career and a modicum of financial security.

Teagan didn’t doubt for a second that she would be back soon. Eimear hadn’t abandoned her children; she’d just set them to one side while she tried to fix her second attempt at marriage.

Teagan herself would never have set her own children to one side for a man, moot point though that was. She’d made her choices. She was the stronger one of the two of them—the one who got on with it, alone. As she’d just have to get on with it this time.

She’d just have to find a way to do it without Brendan McNamara’s help. She didn’t need a constant reminder of how close she could have come to being like her sister in seeking happiness through some guy. Even when that guy’s presence still stirred up a memory in her that she’d never really been able to shift.

No, she would never allow herself to rely on someone else for her own happiness. Could never expect to find love as it was described in the movies. Because it just didn’t exist. Teagan knew that, even if Eimear didn’t.

But then Teagan remembered more than her little sister. She’d made sure of that. It was her job to do everything she could to ensure Eimear was happy.

If that meant playing at being Mummy then that was what she would do. Other women coped, balancing careers with families.

Teagan was a mature, capable woman. She could deal with problems when they arose. Could manage her time.

It was only for a couple more days. Eimear had said a few days. And she’d survived two already.

She’d just have to find a way to survive another two. Without Brendan McNamara.