Читать книгу The Heart of a Cowboy - Trish Milburn - Страница 9
ОглавлениеGarrett Brody still thought there was a high likelihood he would wake up any minute and realize he’d been dreaming. After all, the fact that he was at his younger brother’s wedding didn’t compute. Owen was not the getting-hitched-and-settling-down type. At least he hadn’t been until Linnea Holland had arrived at their family’s ranch with a heart broken in the worst possible way when she discovered her fiancé was already married. Somehow, his baby brother had helped Linnea heal, and her presence had convinced Owen that settling down with one woman was what he’d been searching for all along.
As Garrett watched the newlyweds dance with huge smiles on their faces, he had to admit he’d never seen his brother look so genuinely happy.
“Pretty sure hell has finally frozen over.”
Garrett glanced over to where Greg Bozeman, the ace mechanic of Blue Falls, was standing with a cup of punch. “No, that’s reserved for when you tie the knot.”
“Bite your tongue, man.”
Garrett chuckled as he watched Greg scan the room full of wedding guests, no doubt scoping out the single ladies. Speaking of, Garrett spotted Jenna Marks looking his direction. Before she got it in her head to walk his way, he nudged Greg and indicated he should go ask Jenna to dance.
“Sure you don’t want to reserve her for yourself?”
“Yep.” And to add a little extra buffer, he headed toward where his sister and her husband, Wyatt, were spinning around the dance floor to a Luke Bryan song.
He tapped Wyatt’s shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?”
“Be my guest. Let your sister step on your toes for a bit.”
Chloe huffed and swatted her husband’s arm. “It was only once and I was trying to avoid bumping into Verona.”
“Sure,” Wyatt said before planting a quick kiss on his wife’s cheek.
She playfully pushed him away. “Don’t be surprised when I make you sleep on the porch.”
Wyatt just grinned as he took a step back, well aware that Chloe’s threat was empty. Those two were every bit as in love as Owen and Linnea.
A sense of being the odd man out settled on Garrett. Blue Falls residents of the betting persuasion would have likely given him the best odds of settling down and starting a family first among his siblings, but things just hadn’t worked out that way. He went out now and then, but he’d never met a woman with whom he felt he could be happy spending the rest of his life.
“So, what brings you to the dance floor, big brother?”
“I need a reason to dance with my sister at our brother’s wedding?”
She lifted an eyebrow, but he didn’t take the bait. Instead, he led her into a dance as a new song began. They moved past their youngest sibling just as Owen dipped Linnea backward, causing the blushing bride to laugh and cling to Owen’s arms as if he might drop her on the floor. Garrett knew better. Owen wouldn’t do anything to hurt Linnea. In fact, he’d take a bullet for her without a moment’s hesitation. Garrett wondered what that was like, to be that in love with another person.
“You okay?”
He shifted his attention back to Chloe. “Yeah.”
She didn’t appear to believe him, and for a moment the look in her eyes reminded him of their mother. Even though he’d spent more of his life without his mom than with, he could still remember the way she’d look at him if she suspected he wasn’t telling the truth. It was as if she could actually see the lie forming in his mind.
Chloe glanced over at Owen and Linnea, now firmly locked in a close embrace despite the fast-paced song. “You know you’re next.”
Garrett snorted. “That’s unlikely when all the eligible possibilities keep getting snapped up.”
“There are plenty of available women around, and you know it. Take Jenna Marks, for example.”
It wasn’t any secret that the nurse at the clinic where his sister worked as a doctor was interested in him. But the feeling wasn’t mutual. Jenna was nice enough, and pretty, but he felt no real attraction to her. He’d even wondered if something was fried in his brain, but he couldn’t force an affection that wasn’t there.
“Small problem,” he said when he noticed Chloe was still waiting for some type of response. “We already tried going on a date, and the two of us had about as much connection as a cow and a chicken.”
Chloe sighed. “If Jenna isn’t the type of woman you’re looking for, then who is?”
“Who said I’m looking?”
“No one, but I’m just that smart.”
“Cocky, too.”
Chloe grinned wide, as if she was pleased with herself.
“Have you joined the Verona Charles matchmaking bandwagon?” Verona was the aunt of their friend Elissa and had taken it upon herself to pair up any unattached person who crossed her path. And with each successful pairing, including his two siblings, she grew even more ambitious. It didn’t matter if she was a big part of two people getting together or simply contributed a gentle nudge, she seemed to take great pleasure in seeing Blue Falls fill up with happily-ever-afters. He imagined a room of her house filled with a big dry-erase board akin to a basketball playoff bracket filled with the names of all the local singles.
“Not officially,” Chloe said. “But I want to see you happy.”
“I wasn’t aware I appear unhappy.”
“It’s not that you seem sad, but there’s something missing.”
He didn’t want to acknowledge that she’d hit the nail on the head, partially because he’d nearly convinced himself that he was okay with his life as it was. Honestly, how many people grew up to live their lives exactly as they imagined them when they were younger?
As the eldest of the Brody children, he’d always assumed he’d follow in his father’s footsteps running the cattle ranch, getting married and having children of his own. As the years passed and none of his dates led to anything even approaching what his father had with his mom before her death, Garrett had gradually accepted that perhaps the ranching aspect was the only part of his imagined future that would come to fruition. After all, the dating pool wasn’t endless in a town the size of Blue Falls.
And he sure as hell wasn’t going to resort to some online dating site. They worked fine for some people, but he damn near broke out in hives just thinking about it.
“You worry too much,” he finally said. “If it’s meant to happen, it will.”
And if it wasn’t, he’d keep his focus on ranching, making sure that the Brody spread stayed out of the red. Ranching was a tough way of life, but he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. And that didn’t always appeal to women. Part of him could understand. Unless ranching ran in your blood, who would want to volunteer for a life where a drought or an illness in the herd could wipe you out?
They’d very nearly lost the ranch once in those dark days after his mother’s death, when his father had been consumed by grief and they’d been slammed with a severe drought nearly at the same time. The stress of losing the love of his life and then almost losing his means of supporting his children had been palpable. Garrett was determined that his father would never be that close to the mental or financial breaking point ever again. Not to mention, if Garrett ever did marry, he wanted the ranch to be a successful enterprise he could hand down to his children as well as any nieces and nephews who might come along.
“You’ll find someone,” Chloe said as he guided her around Liam and India Parrish, yet another couple Verona had been instrumental in pairing up. “I have faith.”
She might but Garrett wasn’t so sure. Considering he was already thirty-two, that possibility didn’t look too good.
As the party started winding down a few minutes later, he leaned over to give his sister a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m going to head out. Have fun on your trip.” Since Chloe and Wyatt had yet to go on their own honeymoon, they were going on the same Caribbean cruise as Owen and Linnea.
“Thanks. I’ll be sure to bring you some tacky, touristy T-shirt.”
He laughed a little. “I’ve been needing a new grease rag for when I work on the trucks.”
She gave him an exasperated look. “Oh, go on before I tell Verona that you’re dying to find a wife as soon as possible.”
Garrett handed her off to Wyatt. “Your wife is evil.”
“I know, but she’s cute.”
He left one starry-eyed couple only to walk toward another, maneuvering through the crowd to Owen and Linnea. He playfully punched Owen in the shoulder as he had countless times before.
“I’d tell you to have a good trip, but I doubt there’s a need.”
Owen grinned. “I’m already there in my mind.”
Not wanting to think about what images were swirling through his brother’s head, Garrett pulled Linnea into a hug. “Don’t let my brother fall off the boat.”
Linnea smiled as she stepped back from him. “Oh, I plan to have him wear a life jacket anytime he leaves the cabin.”
Their dad, who was standing nearby, momentarily choked on the bite of cake he’d just taken. Garrett had to admit the image of his brother sitting down to a fancy dinner in the ship’s dining room with a big orange life jacket around his neck was pretty darn funny.
After making his final goodbyes, he made his way outside. The lack of sound as he stood on the edge of the Wildflower Inn’s parking lot made him realize just how noisy it had been inside. For the first time in several hours, he felt as if he could truly breathe. He’d rather be alone out in the middle of the ranch than in the midst of that many chattering people.
Even so, as he got into his truck and drove off the lot, the idea of going home to an empty house didn’t appeal to him. Maybe he’d run down to the Blue Falls Music Hall and see who was playing tonight. If he was lucky, being in the familiar, less formal environs would help him forget how the seed of loneliness inside him had evidently been watered and fed a healthy dose of fertilizer.
* * *
NATALIE BARELY HAD time to pull over on the side of the country road and get out of the car before throwing up what little she’d been able to eat since leaving Wichita that morning. The closer she’d gotten to Texas, the more ill she’d felt. When she’d driven through Blue Falls a few minutes before, her out-of-control nerves had her seriously considering making a U-turn and driving back to Kansas. She’d lost count of how many times she’d gone back and forth in her mind about if she could go through with telling the Brodys the truth, whether she should.
Her stomach tightened again as she held on to the bumper of the truck and dry heaved. Only through some deeply buried force of will did she bring her stomach into submission. She stood shaking for a couple more minutes until she was fairly certain her insides wouldn’t stage another revolt. Then she slowly walked back to the driver’s door, which was standing wide open, and reached inside for a bottle of water. She washed out her mouth and spit onto the edge of the asphalt before digging in her luggage for mouthwash. She followed a full minty rinse with a few more swishes of water.
After shoving the bottle of mouthwash back into the bag, she leaned against the side of the truck and took several slow, deep breaths. She lifted her gaze to the huge expanse of dark sky peppered with stars and a sliver of moon. A rush of anger bubbled up inside her that her father had put her in this position, puking on the side of a road she barely remembered from her childhood, mere minutes away from dropping a bomb in the middle of the Brodys’ lives.
She didn’t have to do this.
Yes, she did. Never in her life had she failed to keep a promise. Even before she consciously knew what she was doing, something inside her had decided that she would be the total opposite of her dad in that regard. He’d made so many promises—to quit drinking, to get another job and keep it this time, to earn enough so they could take a real family vacation that wasn’t a weekend of tent camping at the state park a half hour from their house.
Natalie closed her eyes as she rested her head back against the cool metal of the truck. No matter how many times her father had disappointed her, there was one promise he’d kept. To always love her, Allison and Renee with all his heart. If she’d ever doubted that love, that doubt would have been erased by the look in his tired eyes as he’d wept mere moments before dying. He knew, soul deep, that he’d let them all down repeatedly. She’d seen the fervent wish that he’d been a better father, a better husband, a better man.
That look and her own love for him in spite of everything was why she was here in the middle of Texas. Since the night her father had asked her to deliver his apology, she’d not gotten a full night of sleep, had been able to eat only enough to keep functioning as she helped her mother deal with the funeral arrangements and laying her dad to rest. The anxiety had built over the past week until she knew she had to get this trip over with so she could begin to live normally again.
She filled her lungs with another deep breath and tried to steady her nerves as she slid back into the driver’s seat. Exhaustion weighed down every cell in her body as she pulled onto the road. She knew she should wait until the next day to go see the Brodys, to try to get some sleep first, but if she had to wait another day to divulge her father’s secret, she thought she might explode.
Her GPS guided her the rest of the way to the Brody ranch. When she turned into the gravel drive, she hit the brakes. She’d crossed this point so many times when she’d been a kid, and happy memories were attached to each visit here. But all of those memories were about to be poisoned by the purpose for her return.
She pressed her hand to her forehead, feeling the warm flush invading her skin. With a shake of her head, she gradually released the brake and drove the rest of the way up to the house. As her lights cut across the front, revealing two basset hounds lying at the top of the steps, she remembered sitting on those same steps with Chloe playing Go Fish as Chloe’s mom sat in the rocking chair shucking corn from her garden.
But even knowing that she had to get the revelation over with, she still sat in the truck for a couple of minutes after parking and cutting the engine. She’d spent more than nine hours on the road. That should have been enough time to prep herself. Still, as she looked toward the front door she’d walked through countless times, she had to corral every speck of willpower she possessed to finally slip out of the truck.
Her feet moved slowly, the sound of her shoes on the walkway magnified by her anxiety. She found she barely had the strength to climb the steps, pausing halfway up them to pet the two hounds. When they sniffed then licked her hand, a wholly unexpected smile lifted her lips. It faded quickly when she pushed herself up the rest of the steps.
When she stood in front of the door, she had to take a few moments to catch her breath. It wasn’t too late. She could still turn around, leave, not drag the painful past back into the Brodys’ lives. But then she thought of her father, of how he’d suffered because he’d been weak. So that he could truly rest, she had to be strong for him and hope that her childhood best friend didn’t hate her for it.
She lifted her hand and knocked on the front door. The wait for someone to answer grew to an excruciating length. When no one appeared, she knocked again, harder this time. Still no answer, or in response to a third even louder knocking.
Natalie leaned her head against the door, suddenly so tired she could barely stand. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to cry that the inevitable was being drawn out even more, or if she was thankful for the temporary reprieve. She considered sitting in one of the chairs on the porch to wait for the Brodys to return home, but she was more likely than not to fall asleep there. And it only added to her sadness that the rocking chair she remembered Karen Brody sitting in had been replaced with a newer one. The old one could have broken during the intervening years, but some deep instinct told her that its absence was deliberate.
Deciding that the fact no one was home was the universe telling her she needed some sleep between now and when she faced the Brodys, she headed back to her truck. As she retraced the miles back to Blue Falls, her thoughts narrowed in on falling into bed, into oblivion.
By the time she checked into her room at the Country Vista Inn, she was dead on her feet, barely able to drag her bag into the room. She dropped it just inside the door and headed straight for the bed, not even bothering to change into pajamas.
Despite the fatigue, sleep proved elusive. She tossed and turned, on the verge of tears. All she wanted was a full night of good, solid rest so she could be better equipped to face the Brodys the next day. But as she stared at the ceiling, she remained wide-awake. To make matters worse, her stomach growled like a bear. Well, no wonder. What little she’d consumed that day was lying on the side of the road.
Unable to get comfortable, she sat up on the edge of the bed. Maybe if she got something to eat, the fact that she didn’t have to face the Brodys tonight would allow her to keep a meal down. She continued to sit, letting her mind and stomach adjust to the idea of food. When she didn’t feel as if she’d be sick again, she stood, grabbed her purse and went out in search of food.
She drove through downtown Blue Falls, snippets of childhood memories seeming to float in through her open window. Enjoying a cookie at the Mehlerhaus Bakery, watching the annual Christmas parade and tree lighting, sitting by the lake watching the sailboats glide across its shiny surface. As she rolled into the main part of the downtown business district, she saw that the Primrose Café was closed for the evening, as was the bakery. She spotted a Mexican place, but she didn’t trust her stomach enough to risk that.
As she continued down Main Street, the sound of music drew her attention. While most of the town seemed to be closed up for the night, the Blue Falls Music Hall was still hopping, if the full parking lot was any indication. The memory was hazy, but she seemed to remember the place having a limited menu from the few times her family had gone on family night, the one night each week when they didn’t serve alcohol and thus could admit children. Surely anything they had would beat the vending machine at the motel.
Natalie pulled into one of the few empty parking spots then headed inside. The twangy strands of a country song and the din of conversation hit her as soon as she opened the door. Though she was tired and not particularly in a social mood, losing herself in the crowd held more appeal than staring at the ceiling of her room while the ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach did its best to consume her.
She weaved a path through the crowd and finally made her way to the bar. The sight of all the people drinking threatened to cause her nausea to return, but she shook it off. She knew there was nothing wrong with having an occasional drink, but she’d just seen how it could take over and ruin a person’s life and damage those around him.
After a deep breath that smelled like equal parts beer, fried food and woodsy aftershave from some nearby cowboy, she crossed the rest of the distance to the bar, arriving just in time to take possession of a bar stool vacated by a woman who’d been asked to dance.
The bartender, a middle-aged guy who wasn’t bad-looking, stepped in front of her. “What can I get you?”
She spotted a plate of cheese fries a few seats down from her and realized how long it had been since she’d had one of her favorite guilty pleasures. “I’ll take a water and some cheese fries.” She just hoped her stomach behaved itself when her own food arrived.
“Coming right up.”
Out of all the conversations surrounding her, Natalie’s hearing zeroed in on that of two women a couple of stools down from where she sat.
“I can’t believe he dumped me,” one said, then sniffed.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” the other replied. “Hey, my friend needs another drink.” Obviously, the last was directed at the bartender because he headed that way, dropping off Natalie’s water as he passed.
The first woman sounded so brokenhearted, and for a moment Natalie could understand her need to push the real world away with a drink. How much more powerful had the need been for her father considering what he’d done?
She closed her eyes briefly, doing her best to push away those thoughts or she wouldn’t be keeping the fries down long.
“Crowded tonight, isn’t it?”
It took Natalie a moment to realize the blond guy in the neatly pressed shirt was talking to her. “Um, yeah.”
He glanced back toward the dance floor. “Good song. Would you like to dance?”
She managed a small smile. “Sorry, not tonight.”
He grinned back. “Well, at least that leaves the door open for another night.”
The guy couldn’t know that she wouldn’t be in Blue Falls any other night, but she didn’t enlighten him, either. Letting him think he had a chance in the future had probably just bought her peace for the one night she was in town.
Or so she thought. By the time her cheese fries arrived, she was beginning to feel like a piece of meat and the only single female in the county. Hoping the heaping plate of fries would keep well-meaning potential dance partners at bay, she took a steadying breath then a bite of a gooey, cheesy fry. As she chewed, she paid close attention to her stomach. But thankfully it seemed to have decided it had done enough damage for the evening.
When the older woman sitting next to Natalie vacated her stool, someone else immediately took her place. Seats at the bar seemed to be a hot commodity.
“You must be new in town,” the new bar-stool resident said.
This time Natalie hoped he was talking to her, because he had one of those voices that rumbled from deep within his chest and made a woman go all warm and puddly. Sure, it wouldn’t make any difference in how long she planned to stay in town, but she wouldn’t mind listening to it while she ate. Maybe he could read the menu to her or something.
“Your fine deductive skills tell you that?” She didn’t look at him, afraid that if the face didn’t match the voice she’d be unaccountably disappointed.
“Yes. Most people come to the music hall to dance or drink, and you’re doing neither.”
She tapped her glass. “I’m drinking.”
“So you are.” There was a hint of a laugh in his voice, and she looked in his direction before thinking.
Whatever she’d been about to say died on her lips because her neighbor’s face matched his voice perfectly. Dark eyes looked back at her from a handsome, chiseled face, the kind you’d imagine a romanticized cowboy should have. A hint of dark hair peeked out from under his straw-colored cowboy hat. He wore a white, button-up shirt and what looked like new jeans. Though she wasn’t about to allow herself to continue looking down his body, she had no doubt that he probably also sported a pair of cowboy boots buffed for a night on the town. All in all, he was the epitome of what cowboys called dressed up.
His lips edged up in a grin right before he reached over and nabbed one of her fries. She very nearly smacked his hand, but that was too familiar of a gesture toward someone she didn’t know, especially since that someone was currently causing her pulse to stage a footrace through her veins. She wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if the bartender pulled out a fire extinguisher to combat the flames that felt as if they were consuming her face.
After a couple of moments, she gave the fry thief a raised-eyebrow look. “You steal food from strangers all the time?”
“Nope. Giving it a trial run.”
She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. This man had no idea how big of a deal it was that he’d drawn a laugh from her. Since the night she’d sat beside her father as he passed from life to death, the sound of a laugh had become as foreign and impossible as traveling to the dark side of the moon.
“I suppose I could share so you’re not arrested for food theft.” She scooted the large plate to a spot halfway between them. “Lord knows they gave me enough to feed a family of four.”
He grabbed another fry. “Don’t mind if I do, though I’m friends with the sheriff, so I think I’m safe.”
Natalie tried to stay calm and appear unfazed as they munched on a couple of fries. Considering the week she’d had and the reason she was in town, she shouldn’t even be able to feel attraction toward a man. And yet she did, one so strong that it had her feeling as if she might suddenly lean toward him and slide off the stool into the floor.
“So what brings you to town?”
She searched for a truth that wasn’t the entire truth. “I used to live here when I was a kid.”
Before he could respond, the bartender stopped in front of her dinner partner.
“Hey, Garrett. What can I get you to drink?”
Natalie choked on the fry she was in the process of swallowing. She sensed the men staring at her, probably wondering if she needed the Heimlich performed, as she reached for her glass. When she got the cough under control, she took a long drink.
“You okay?” Garrett asked.
Garrett. What were the chances that she’d run into another Garrett who was the right age in a town the size of Blue Falls?
When she noticed him looking at her with concern in those dark eyes, she realized she hadn’t responded. “Yeah. Just went down the wrong way.”
Natalie’s stomach started to turn again, changing the fries from a treat to a disaster waiting to happen. She’d settled into the idea that she wouldn’t have to face the Brodys until the next day, and now here she was sitting next to Chloe’s older brother. Everything she’d planned to say, the words she’d practiced as the miles ticked by from Wichita, were nothing but a jumbled mess in her head.
