Читать книгу Reality Transurfing: steps 1-5 - Вадим Зеланд - Страница 23

Overvaluation is when a person is imagined to have qualities they do not in fact embody. On one level the illusions of the mind are quite harmless. On the energetic level however, they generate excess potential because potential is created wherever there is a flux in quantity or quality. Overvaluation is a projection and concentration of qualities there where they are not present in reality. There are two types of idealization. In the first type an individual is portrayed as having qualities which are in fact totally uncharacteristic. In order to eliminate the resulting inhomogeneity in the energy field, balanced forces have to create some kind of counter force.

For example, a dreamy and romantic young man creates a mental image of his beloved, portraying her as an angel of pure beauty. In reality it turns out that the young women in question is a grounded individual, who loves having a good time and shows no interest in sharing the dreams of the love-struck young man. Whatever the circumstances, when a person creates an idol of another and places them on a pedestal, the myth will sooner or later be debunked and the necessary disillusionment follows.

In this context the story of the writer Karl May is quite remarkable. May was the author of some popular adventure novels set in the American Old West and best known for the characters of Winnetou and Old Shatterhand. May’s novels were written in the style of first person narrator, creating the impression that he had personally participated in the events portrayed in his books, thereby earning great admiration. May’s works are as vivid and rich as a film and so the reader could well assume that the story was a factual account. May’s plots were so exciting that he was dubbed ‘the German Dumas’.

Numerous Karl May fans identified the writer with the famous cowboy Old Shatterhand. His admirers could hardly have considered any different; after all, they had found an object of admiration and imitation, and one who lived close by, making his persona even more powerful. Imagine their surprise when it was announced that Karl May had never even visited America, and some of the works had been written during his time in prison. The myth was debunked, the illusion dispelled, and the writer’s former fans became his execrators. Who was to blame? After all, the readers created the idol themselves and along with it, a dependent relationship: “Yes, you are our hero, but only if the book is a real life story”.

In the second type of idealization, a person’s attention is focused not on a person with illusory qualities but on rose-tinted dreams and castles in the air. The dreamer lives with their head in the clouds as a way of escaping the ugliness of the reality of life. Obviously, excess potential is created in this situation. To tear down the castles in the air, balanced forces make the romantic individual face harsh reality. Even if the person in question is capable of distracting hundreds with their idea, thereby creating a separate pendulum, the utopia will be flawed because it is based on the bias of excess potential. Sooner or later balanced forces will stop the pendulum’s sway.

Here is another example of how an overvalued object exists as an ideal. A woman is imagining what her ideal husband would look like. The more she convinces herself that her future husband must be of a certain type the stronger the excess potential that is created. The excess potential can only be neutralized by a person who embodies qualities which are the exact opposite of what the women wanted to find in her partner. When she meets someone and later discovers what they are really like, the woman asks herself how she “could have been so blind”. The opposite can also occur. If a woman focuses on how much she hates drunkenness and rudeness in a man she may fall into the trap of building a relationship with an alcoholic or a man who bad mouths her. Often people find they have to deal with the things they find totally unacceptable because in addition to creating excess potential their thought energy radiates at the frequency of their non-acceptance. Life often brings people together who are very different and who would appear to be totally incompatible. Balanced forces bring people together who have opposite qualities of potential, in that way striving to neutralize the imbalance created by one or the other.

The influence of balanced forces can be seen especially clearly in children because children tend to be more sensitive to energy than adults and behave more naturally. If a child is praised too much they will start being deliberately naughty. Children lose respect for and even end up despising adults that let the child twist them around their little finger. If a parent does all they can to turn their little boy into a well brought up goody-two-shoes, the child will probably end up breaking out and getting involved with some kind of street gang. If a parent tries to create a wunderkind out of their child the likelihood is that they will loose all interest in their studies. The more the parent burdens the child with after school clubs, activities and private lessons, the more likely the child is to grow up with a dull personality.

The best principle in bringing up children is to behave towards the child (and not only towards children) as if they were guests, i.e., giving them attention, respect and freedom of choice, without creating excess potential and without letting them run the show or make your life a misery. The relationship should be constructed on the analogy that you too are no more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game without going to extremes, you will be free to choose from all that exists in this world.

Healthy relationships are as common as unhealthy relationships and there is a certain balance in the existence of both. Hate exists and so does love. A quality of a healthy balanced relationship is that it does not produce excess potential. Potential emerges when there is a noticeable bias in an assessment with regards to the nominal value. Evaluations are relative. On the scale of distortion, zero can be considered unconditional love. As you know, unconditional love does not support dependent relationships, nor does it create excess potential. This kind of love however, is extremely rare. Normally, possession, dependence and overvaluation are mixed into love’s vessel. It is difficult to resist feelings of possessiveness and quite natural that one should want to know that you have the person you love, as long as things do not go to one of two extremes.

The first extreme is the desire to possess the object of your love if that person is only vaguely associated with you and might not even suspect your desires (of course, you understand that I am not only talking about the physical aspect of possession). This is what happens in the classical case of unrequited love which always leads to much suffering. However, the mechanism at play here is not quite as simple as you might think. Remember the flower metaphor. You love to wander among the flowers, admiring their beauty and you may have wondered whether they love you too. Now try to imagine what the flowers think of you. All sorts of strange ideas will enter your mind such as fear, anxiety, dislike, indifference. You may wonder what reason the flowers could have to love you. Perhaps you desperately want to hold them in your hand but you cannot because they are growing in a flowerbed or are for sale but are very expensive. What one experiences at this stage is no longer love but dependency and with that, negative emotions begin to creep in.

So, you are in one place and the object of your love is in another and you would like to have the object of your love with you, i.e., you are creating energetic potential. One might think that excess potential would draw the desired object to you like air mass that shifts from an area of high to low pressure but that is not how things work at all. It makes no difference to balanced forces what method is used to re-establish equilibrium, and so they may place the object of your love at an either further distance from you thereby neutralizing the excess potential and breaking your heart at the same time. If, at the slightest sign of disappointment in love, person is inclined to dramatise the situation even more with thoughts that the person of their dreams does not love them they will be pulled towards life lines where reciprocated love is a rare phenomenon.

The stronger your desire to have something or to experience reciprocated love the stronger the action taken by balanced forces will be. Of course, if they choose a path that brings you and your loved one closer together then the story will have a happy ending. The direction balanced forces will ultimately take can easily be determined at the very outset. If you are preoccupied or obsessed with the need for your feelings to be mutual and yet nothing seems to be going right, you need to change your tactics. Try loving without expectation of reward. If you do this the unstable vibrations of balanced forces can be drawn closer and made to work for you; otherwise the situation may go snowballing out of control until it is practically impossible to change anything.

There is only one solution in a situation like this. If you want your love to be mutual you have to love simply without thought of whether you are loved or not. Firstly, in taking this approach you avoid creating excess potential which means that the fifty percent probability that the forces will work against you is avoided. Secondly, when you are not obsessed with the idea of whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you are free of the dramatic and uncontrolled thoughts about unrequited love that pull you into corresponding life lines. Quite the opposite; if you simply love, without thought of possession, dependency is avoided and the parameters of the energy you radiate will correspond with those life lines where requited love exits. If you have already discovered requited love then you have no reason to be concerned with the issue of ownership and possession. Imagine how greatly your chances of being close to the one you love will increase for having given up the notion of possessing them. Besides, unconditional love is very rare and attractive quality and so if you can embody it you will automatically draw people to you. Would you not be drawn towards a person who loved you simply for the sake of it without demanding anything in return?

The second extreme concerns the right to ownership, which is of course jealousy. In this case balanced forces have two potential means of action. If you are already in a relationship with the person you love then the first means of action is to being you even closer together. Some people enjoy an element of jealousy in their relationship. The other option is for balanced forces to destroy whatever gave rise to the jealousy, i.e. the love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy the deeper the grave it digs for the love being shared in the relationship. The dynamics of love which becomes expressed as jealousy are just the same as the shift from simply savouring the aroma of the wild flowers to wanting to produce perfume.

All of the above relates as much to women as it does to men, but this is not the final word on the matter. We will return to this question later when we look at the other concepts that underpin Transurfing. Everything is so simple and yet at the same time so complex; complex because a person in love loses their ability to rationalise and so the recommendations above will probably fall to the wayside. I shall not however, upset myself with these things because I resist the need for the reader’s recognition.