Читать книгу Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 69, No. 427, May, 1851 - Various - Страница 6

"There are three ways in which men take

One's money from his purse,

And very hard it is to tell

Which of the three is worse;

But all of them are bad enough

To make a body curse.

You're riding out some pleasant day,

And counting up your gains;

A fellow jumps from out a bush,

And takes your horse's reins;

Another hints some words about

A bullet in your brains.

It's hard to meet such pressing friends

In such a lonely spot;

It's very hard to lose your cash,

But harder to be shot;

And so you take your wallet out,

Though you had rather not.

Perhaps you're going out to dine,

Some filthy creature begs

You'll hear about the cannon-ball

That carried off his pegs;

He says it is a dreadful thing

For men to lose their legs.

He tells you of his starving wife,

His children to be fed,

Poor little lovely innocents.

All clamorous for bread;

And so you kindly help to put

A bachelor to bed.

You're sitting on your window-seat,

Beneath a cloudless moon;

You hear a sound that seems to wear

The semblance of a tune,

As if a broken fife should strive

To drown a cracked basoon.

And nearer, nearer still, the tide

Of music seems to come,

There's something like a human voice

And something like a drum;

You sit in speechless agony

Until your ear is numb.

Poor 'home, sweet home,' should seem to be

A very dismal place,

Your 'auld acquaintance,' all at once

Is altered in the face —

But hark! the air again is still,

The music all is ground;

It cannot be – it is – it is —

A hat is going round!

No! Pay the dentist when he leaves

A fracture in your jaw;

And pay the owner of the bear,

That stunned you with his paw;

And buy the lobster that has had

Your knuckles in his claw;

But if you are a portly man,

Put on your fiercest frown,

And talk about a constable

To turn them out of town;

Then close your sentence with an oath,

And shut the window down!

And if you are a slender man,

Not big enough for that,

Or, if you cannot make a speech,

Because you are a flat,

Go very quietly and drop

A button in the hat!"