Читать книгу Truly, Madly, Deeply - Vicki Lewis Thompson - Страница 11

DUSTIN HAD HOPED his dealings with Erica would run a little smoother than this. First of all she hadn’t jumped at the franchise offer. Now she was demanding to know if he had ulterior motives for making the offer. He hadn’t asked Erica up to the room to seduce her. He wasn’t sure why he’d asked her to ride along, other than a desire to keep her close by.

Sure enough, he was drawing strength from her, as he’d thought he would. For the first time since his father’s stroke, he was beginning to feel optimistic about his ability to run the company. That didn’t make sense considering that Erica seemed ready to reject the franchise deal.

But she’d offered him comfort when he’d told her about his dad, the kind of comfort he couldn’t expect from his good-time pals on the racing circuit. She’d also implied that she thought he could handle all these new challenges. He didn’t remember anyone else saying that, not even his mother. Yep, he definitely liked having Erica nearby.

He wouldn’t mind having her even nearer, and she’d picked up on that. But he wasn’t so crude that he’d try to lure her into bed during their first couple of hours together. She didn’t know that, though, and obviously riding up in the elevator had given her time to concoct all kinds of scenarios. He should have made small talk, whether there were other people in the elevator or not. Giving a woman like Erica extra time to think wasn’t a good idea.

Now she was demanding explanations he wasn’t willing to give. He hadn’t decided how honest to be with her about the sex thing. Considering how soon it was into the encounter, he didn’t want to bare his soul and all his insecurities. That time might never come.

She stood silhouetted by the light coming through the sheer draperies. He couldn’t see her face very well, but her rigid posture suggested she was feeling under attack. He would have liked to move closer, but she might interpret that as being too aggressive.

He decided to give her part of the truth and hope that worked out. “You’re right, there’s more to my visit than working out a franchise deal for Dateline: Dallas. That’s a bonus, but it could be a very promising bonus for both of us. I’m dead serious about wanting to expand the newsletter to other cities.”

“You’re not offering me a business deal out of guilt for what happened ten years ago, are you? Because if that’s the reason, I—”

“Not a chance.” He held back a smile. Guilt, hell. She’d jumped to the wrong conclusion, which temporarily saved him. “There’s no place in business for guilt.” He’d heard that line from his father, although personally he thought his father had many things to feel guilty about. “The offer is legitimate, and I hope you take me up on it.”

Her breasts lifted and quivered as she took a deep breath. “So what else is going on?”

Damned if his mouth didn’t literally water as he imagined uncovering those full breasts and rolling her taut nipples against his tongue. “Ten years ago we obviously were attracted to each other. I was too…well, too young to recognize the potential, but I haven’t been able to forget you.”

That was way more than he’d wanted to say and it left him vulnerable. He didn’t like to appear needy, but that was better than saying he wanted another chance because he’d been a stupid virgin the first time they’d had sex.

She regarded him silently for a long time. Too long.

He finally broke the silence. “Obviously you’ve been able to put me right out of your mind, though,” he said at last. A guy had to salvage a little pride. “Don’t worry about it. I’m a grown-up, and I can put the whole thing aside and focus on business. We can go get some lunch and talk about—”

“I haven’t put you entirely out of my mind, either.”

Thank God. Maybe he wouldn’t end up roadkill, after all. “That’s how you’ve made it seem.”

“I…okay, maybe I have.”

“Playing it cool?”

“Sort of.” A smile flitted across her mouth and was gone. “But I do remember that night, Dustin.”

And it was entirely possible that, whenever she remembered it, she focused on his miserable performance. He hated that. “Look, we really don’t have to get into the subject now. The franchise deal is what we should concentrate on.” He’d been trying to tell himself that, but repairing his sexual record seemed equally important. That only showed that he wasn’t a true businessman like his father.

“You know what? I want to get into this right now.” She sat down on a chair positioned by the window and crossed those beautiful long legs. “I doubt I’ll go for the franchise, but if I thought you were only using it as a way to—”

“I’m not. Swear to God.”

She studied him. “I guess I’ve never fully trusted someone who has a lot of money. They can use it to manipulate situations.”

What a joke. Little did she know that he couldn’t do that even if he wanted to. But admitting his shaky financial status might make her shy away from throwing in with him. Accepting her sympathy regarding his dad was okay, but he didn’t want her sympathy when it came to the money crunch.

He cleared his throat. “So you’re afraid I would franchise your newsletter in order to get you into bed?”

“Would you?”

“No. That’s sleazy. I’m sorry you think I would stoop to that kind of thing.”

“I don’t think it’s so hard to imagine.” She used her captain-of-the-debate-team voice. “Which came first, finding me or discovering the newsletter?”

This conversation wasn’t going to end for a while. He decided to walk over and sit on the side of the bed so he could face her. By moving closer, he could judge her expression better. Maybe he’d lose the feeling that he was on a runaway train. “Finding you.”

“And why were you looking for me?”

He sighed. “This will sound lame, but it all goes back to chemistry.”

“Aha! That’s what I—”

“Chemistry class.”

She stared at him.

“In the months since my dad’s stroke, I’ve felt this growing sense of panic that I was in over my head, that I couldn’t manage the company. And I—”

“Doesn’t your dad have assistants, secretaries, people who can help you catch up?”

He shook his head. “Clayton Ramsey didn’t delegate. He was also a hard guy to work for, and no secretary stayed for long. The last one quit and moved to Alaska right before he had his stroke.” Dustin decided not to add that his father hadn’t paid those secretaries enough to get decent ones or make them feel any sense of loyalty. The office was still a mess from the last secretary’s slipshod work.

“Anyway,” he continued, “to say that I don’t feel confident is an understatement. My successes have come on the football field and the racetrack. The only time I’ve accepted an intellectual challenge was in that chemistry class with you. When I said you were a good influence on me, I wasn’t kidding.”

“You want me to help you run the company?” Her eyes widened. “Dustin, I’m not remotely qualified.”

“No, I’m not asking for that. I want…” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m going to run the company. Come hell or high water, I’m going to accomplish that. But Ramsey Enterprises needs to diversify so that it’s not so dependent on oil.”

“Ah. Middle Eastern oil is cutting into your profits.”

“Yes.” Wiping out his profits was more like it. He shouldn’t be surprised that she’d have information on that. She was a journalist. “I thought you might have some ideas to offer, and when I found out about the newsletter, I had the brainstorm that it could be the start of Ramsey’s diversification program.” He glanced at her.

“My little newsletter?”

“It’s growing, and it could grow bigger.” Apparently his business degree hadn’t been a total waste of time, because he’d recognized a potential gold mine when he saw one. “Every major city in the country is a potential market. That’s not a little concept.”

With a self-deprecating smile, she relaxed back into the chair. “And here I thought it was all about sex.”

He had a split second to make a decision. “Actually, it is.”

She sat up with a jolt. “But—”

“Everything I’ve told you so far is the absolute truth, but there’s more.”

Her throat moved in a slow swallow. “Then I guess…you’d better tell me.”

“The thing is, ten years ago, when we…well, it wasn’t exactly perfect.” He looked into her eyes. “Was it?”

Her gaze was wary. “Well, maybe not, but I think we could blame that on the beer.”

“Yeah. Sure. But I remember how much we both…how excited we were. That’s mostly what’s bothered me all these years. It should have been a better experience.”

“We were young.”

“Exactly.” He took a deep breath. “I know this will sound outrageous, but…I can do better. I’d like a chance to prove it.”

ERICA USUALLY HAD a comeback for everything. In fact, she could count on one hand the times she’d been stricken speechless. No question, this would rank as the most memorable. Never in a trillion years could she have predicted those words would come out of Dustin Ramsey’s mouth.

Finally she found her voice. “You want a do-over?”

“Yes. No. Well, in a way. Damn, I had no idea this would be so—”

“I am incredibly flattered.” And unbelievably aroused.

“But you’re not interested. People always start a rejection speech by saying they’re flattered, but they couldn’t possibly do whatever it is. Listen, don’t worry about it. You wanted to know what the other part to this was, and now you know. We can forget the whole thing and concentrate on the franchise.”

“Forget the whole thing? You must be joking.”

He groaned. “I’ve screwed it up. Now you won’t consider the franchise because all you’ll be able to think about is that I asked you to have sex with me. But I couldn’t lie to you, Erica. I respect you too much for that.”

She took several deep breaths and tried to calm her racing heart. Dustin wanted to franchise her newsletter, but he also wanted to give her an orgasm. He hadn’t said it quite like that, but that’s what he meant. She was still trying to process the idea that he’d worried about their less-than-wonderful night for all these years and had taken the responsibility for that failure.

That said so much about him. She’d blamed her inexperience, but he hadn’t. And now he wanted to show her that he’d improved. Amazing that he’d even care about her opinion. Even more amazing that his own self-image seemed to depend on getting it right with her. She’d never possessed such power over a man in her life.

She would handle it carefully. “If we…had sex, assuming we’d both be better at it this time, what would that achieve?”

He gazed at her for several seconds. “Every time I think of you, I remember that night and cringe. I want to fix that.”

“You make it sound like a loose wheel on one of your race cars.”

“You’re kidding, but that’s not such a bad way to describe the feeling I have.”

She still had trouble comprehending that their silly little experience had affected him this much. “You can’t simply forget it?”

“Believe me, I’ve tried. It probably doesn’t bother you at all, but it’s been driving me nuts for years.”

What a concept. She loved it. “Okay, I’ll admit that it bothers me a little, too.” She wasn’t ready to say that it had haunted her for ten years. She hadn’t allowed herself to think that way.

“See? It’ll always be an obstacle between us unless we do something to change it.” He glanced down at the carpet. “I shouldn’t have avoided you like I did after that night, but I was only eighteen and…mortally embarrassed about the lousy sex.”

“That’s why you didn’t call me?” She thought of the weeks of misery she’d endured. “Embarrassment?”

He looked up at her again and nodded. “Sorry.”

“I thought once you’d scored, you weren’t interested anymore!” And she still wasn’t convinced that hadn’t been a part of it. Maybe he was revising history to suit his current predicament.

“Then you must have a pretty rotten opinion of me. I suppose you classify me with the guys your readers write about, like the one who wouldn’t take time to satisfy Frustrated Franny.”

Her body grew warm and restless. “I see you noticed what was on my computer screen.”

“I couldn’t help being curious. Do you see a lot of that? Guys who aren’t willing to give as good as they get?”

The topic was making her squirm in her chair as she fought down her body’s response. “A fair amount. First women have to realize they’re entitled to good sex, and then they have to educate the guy. It’s an evolving situation, but I think the word’s getting out.”

“Thanks to people like you.” His blue gaze grew more intent. “Don’t you think helping couples find greater sexual satisfaction is important?”

“The column’s only a small part of the newsletter.” She couldn’t seem to stop staring into his eyes, eyes that made her feel sexually alive. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time. “Mostly it’s about restaurants, nightclubs, date-worthy attractions around the city.”

“And why do you suppose the newsletter is so popular? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not because of the date-worthy attractions, although I’m sure you provide a good service there, too.”

“Well, I’m sure people like the column, but—”

“Listen, I have two racing buddies who subscribe to Dateline: Dallas. They might tell everybody else it’s for the restaurant reviews, but they admitted to me that the first thing they read is your column. Guys don’t like to be obvious about picking up sexual information, so this is a way to do it on the sly. You tell one reader how to help her guy last longer, and a hundred guys will make a greater effort to do that.”

And if they kept up this discussion, she was liable to throw herself at him and beg for that do-over. He’d already promised to give her satisfaction.

She cleared her throat. “I think we’re getting off track.”

“Not really. You’ve spent ten years thinking I’m the kind of coldhearted guy who would take what I wanted and dump you. We can’t renew our friendship if that’s what you think of me. I need to clear up that impression.”

“I could simply take your word for it.”

He shook his head slowly and smiled. “What happened between you and me was physical. It’ll take a physical act to override our memory of it.”

Oh, boy, she was ready for that physical act. Fortunately her brain was still in gear. “Dustin, this is insane.”

“Why?”

“With all those expectations, sex between us would be a disaster.”

His smile broadened. “When it comes to physical challenges, I perform well under pressure.”

Her nerve endings hummed. “I can’t imagine how we could relax and enjoy ourselves, knowing that this was some sort of test, each of us trying to outperform the other.”

“You’d be trying to outperform me?”

Now there was a stupid slip. “Well, no, of course not.” Being around a jock must be awakening her competitive urges.

“Tell you what. Let’s go have lunch and you can think it over.”

“I have thought it over, and I think it’s crazy.”

He stood. “Think some more. In the meantime, I’m starving. All I’ve had to eat since five this morning is one Fig Newman.”

SEATED IN A SECLUDED little West End restaurant booth across from Erica, Dustin ate barbecue and Erica munched on a veggie sandwich. She’d told him that reviewing required her to taste a variety of things, so she’d eaten off his plate, too. She preferred the veggie sandwich.

He and Erica were different. He’d shrivel up and die on a diet of sprouts and tofu, while that was her favorite. She only ate meat because she had to, for the restaurant review. Although he didn’t always understand or agree with her preferences, he admired her convictions. He always had. In fact, he enjoyed playing Texas good ol’ boy, just to get her on a soapbox.

When she’d ordered a local microbrew made from organic grain, he’d deliberately asked for a Bud. At the moment, she was trying to convince him to invest Ramsey money in the microbrewery. He liked the idea of making a profit on beer, but he had his doubts about the organic part, which jacked up the price considerably.

She was persuasive, though, and he loved the passionate way she argued a point. The more time he spent with her, the more he became convinced that he’d done exactly the right thing by seeking her out. When they’d hooked up in chemistry class, she’d been the first girl to treat him as if he had potential to succeed at something besides football. Up until then, his ambitions hadn’t stretched much beyond winning chugalug contests and the state football championship.

But then he’d pushed his luck and taken her for a drive in the country. After that dismal failure he’d avoided Erica, which resulted in a return to his old lazy mental habits. Now his only option was to retrace his steps, get on a better footing with Erica and move forward from there.

She really was good for him. He’d like to believe he could be good for her, too. With her initiative, she could reap benefits from the economic system she liked to criticize. They both could reap benefits of a more personal nature if she’d allow it.

“Just try the beer,” she said, holding out the bottle she’d been drinking from.

He liked the idea of putting his mouth where hers had recently been. His fingers brushed hers as he took the bottle and awareness flashed in her eyes. Good. She was still thinking about his proposition.

Holding her gaze, he lifted the bottle to his lips and drank.

“Well?” She looked at him expectantly.

“I like it. Rich and good.” Exactly the way sex would be with her. He imagined he could taste the flavor of her mouth along with the beer. Handing the bottle back, he watched as she sipped from it again. Drinking from the same bottle was a start.

“So you’ll think about that as a potential investment?”

“Sure. I’ll look into it. But organic beer doesn’t have sex appeal. Your newsletter does. And you know what they say. Sex sells.”

She made a face. “I thought you wanted to educate people, not capitalize on the sexual content of the newsletter.”

“What’s wrong with doing both?”

“Spoken like a true capitalist. I just don’t happen to care about making gobs of money.” She took another sip of her beer. “And I honestly don’t see myself publishing this newsletter for much longer. Some job will open up for me in the next six months, as the economy improves.”

“You’re passing up a golden opportunity.”

She regarded him from across the table, her gray eyes sparkling. “Are we still talking about the franchise?”

He grinned.

“You’re such a flirt. I have to admit you’re arousing my curiosity.”

“And that’s all?”

She didn’t comment, just smiled back at him.

He was sure his sexual longing showed right on his face. Fortunately she couldn’t see under the table, where even more evidence lurked. He took another bite of his barbecue.

“I still wonder exactly how you found me,” she said. “I’ve lost touch with everyone in Midland. If the reunion committee couldn’t locate me, how did you?”

He chewed and swallowed the spicy beef, taking his time while he thought of how to answer. If he told her, she’d know how obsessed he’d been with tracking her down. He’d hoped to keep from mentioning the extent of his search, but now that she’d asked, he had to level with her. “I hired a private investigator.”

“Get outta here! You hired a P.I. to find me? I can’t believe that!”

Sometimes he had a hard time believing it, too. “When I get an idea in my head, I can be…stubborn.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Apparently.”

“I’d hoped you’d be at the reunion, but when you weren’t, I had to figure out something else.”

“You really and truly had a private eye tailing me?” She looked intrigued.

Maybe telling her wasn’t such a bad thing. “I did.”

“This is beginning to sound like a movie.”

“Well, if you’re thinking of a guy wearing a trench coat and a snap-brim fedora, that wasn’t happening. Jennifer Madison operates out of Midland and she found you using the Internet, with her two-month-old baby asleep in the crib next to her.”

Erica frowned in concentration. “Jennifer Madison. I know that name.” Then she snapped her fingers. “She subscribes to Dateline: Dallas. I wondered why she be interested, living in Midland. So Jennifer Madison is a private eye.”

“Yep. And a good one.”

“A private eye with a baby and a computer. That is sort of anticlimactic. I was picturing reruns of Magnum P.I. It wouldn’t be so bad to be watched by the likes of Tom Selleck in his younger days. Actually, he’s still pretty cute.”

“Sorry.” Actually he wasn’t sorry at all. He wouldn’t have hired someone who looked like Tom Selleck in the first place. “It’s the electronic age.”

“Even so, it’s quite a concept, to think that you actually hired a person to dig around until they located me. I’ve never been tailed before.”

“So…you’re not upset?”

Leaning back in the booth, she gazed at him. “I suppose I could look at it as another example of how people with money operate differently from the rest of us. You wanted to find me so you thought nothing of hiring it done.”

“As a last resort.” And he’d considered the expense more carefully than she’d ever know.

“But the truth is, this is very good for my ego. I thought I was nothing more than a notch in your belt, and here you are hiring a P.I. to track me down ten years later.”

He winced at her interpretation of his behavior ten years ago. “I’m not a belt-notch kind of guy. That’s what I’m trying to—”

“You could be a scorekeeper, though.”

“Excuse me?”

“What exactly was wrong with the sex between us?”

“Well, um—” He took a fortifying swallow of his Bud. “It was over too fast, for one thing.”

Her gray eyes held his relentlessly. “Some people think quickies are great.”

“They are, if both people are satisfied at the end.” He was glad they were seated in a back booth and the place was nearly empty.

Still he didn’t feel totally secure about having this conversation right now. The restaurant owner, a guy named Henry, had popped back several times to make sure the food was good. He could show up again and catch part of what they were saying.

She continued to challenge him with her eyes. “And your point is?”

He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “You didn’t come, Erica. That’s what was wrong with it.”

She mirrored his posture, leaning toward him and resting her arms on either side of her plate. “And I suppose all the rest of your sexual partners have come?”

“Damn right they have.” He was proud of that. In some cases he’d given them the first orgasm of their lives.

She settled back with a victorious smile. “See what I mean?” she said softly. “I’m lousing up your perfect score.”

“That’s not the point, damn it.” Okay, it was a small part of the point. But not the biggest part of the point.

“I say it is. You’re a jock, and jocks can’t help keeping score.”

“That is not true. It’s not about the numbers. Every guy probably has one woman he didn’t have any success with, sexually. I could live with that. I just don’t want that woman to be you.”

“Why not?”

“Out of all the people I’ve had sex with, you’re the one I respected the most.” Until he said it out loud, he hadn’t realized how true it was.

Her gaze flickered. “Sounds like there’s been quite a lineup.”

“I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.” There had been quite a lineup, but none of the experiences had meant as much as that night in the back of his Mustang. And he’d botched that. “I just want to show you that I’m capable of doing it right.”

She leaned toward him again. “You know what? I think you’re turning this into more of a production than you need to. If giving me an orgasm is all you need to feel better about everything, we don’t have to stage an elaborate bedroom scene.”

“We don’t?”

“Nope. I don’t have time for that, anyway. I’m on a tight deadline for the newsletter and I have to work straight through until noon tomorrow if I expect to get it put together.”

“I understand that.” The gleam in her eyes made him nervous. “But I’m here through tomorrow night.”

“Why wait?” she murmured. “If this is so important to you, why don’t we take care of it right now?”

His mouth went dry. “What are you talking about?”

She moved to the far corner of the booth and patted the vinyl seat next to her. “Scoot on over here, cowboy. Let’s even the score.”