Читать книгу The A-List Collection - Victoria Fox - Страница 82

Lana lay back on her bed at the Orient, staring up at the ornately decorated ceiling. The past two weeks had been bliss.

Since she’d arrived in Vegas she’d felt anonymous, uninhibited, but most of all free, which was ironic given her circumstances. She’d been forced to stay largely in her rooms, so had found time to be quiet; to read, to watch old movies–even to attempt a letter to Arlene. It was difficult. She hadn’t known where to begin, or how to account for her years of silence. Finding it near impossible to put it all into words, she’d suggested a meeting, maybe after the baby was born. It seemed important to explain in person everything that had happened, right from that day when they had taken her away. But then, partway through, she’d realised she didn’t even know if Arlene was still alive. With all her heart she prayed she still had the chance to make things right.

She checked the time. Eleven o’clock. Robert would be coming for her any minute. He’d been so generous–never had she encountered such a busy man, and yet he was unconditionally there for her. He’d visited her daily, sometimes just for minutes at a time depending on his schedule, and they’d caught up on the lost years. It was beyond the call of duty. She wanted him as fiercely as she ever had, but had been strict with herself–she was in enough of a mess already. Besides, Robert belonged to Elisabeth. He was in love with her, and she with him.

She hoped his company would restore her faith in men.

Lana cringed when she recalled the disastrous conversation she’d had with Parker Troy the morning after Rita had left. The first few attempts he hadn’t picked up. Then, on the fourth:

‘You’re what?’ Parker had shrieked, all high-pitched.

‘I’m pregnant,’ she’d repeated calmly. ‘And you’re the father.’

A long silence before he said in a sunken voice, ‘You can’t be. I mean … how?’

‘Well, funnily enough, it went like this …’ Lana had lost patience. They’d both been irresponsible, not just her. Where did he think she’d been the past three months, out shopping for baby clothes with her girlfriends?

‘Does Cole know?’ he’d asked meekly, sounding like someone about to shit themselves.

‘Yes.’

‘And he knows it’s me? Fuck. Does he know it’s me? I mean, do you think he—?’

‘No, he doesn’t know it’s you.’

‘Good, OK. And it’s gonna stay that way, right?’ The relief was audible. ‘There’s no way he can find out–I’d be a dead man.’

Lana couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘I’m OK, thanks, Parker. You know, in case that figures anywhere on your list of priorities.’

‘Of course it does,’ he’d clarified swiftly. ‘But listen, Lana, I gotta tell you–I’m not ready to be a father.’

Lana baulked. ‘Oh, that’s funny. I’m not ready to be a mom either. It’s going to take some getting used to, huh?’

A pause. ‘You’re not considering having it, are you?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I just assumed—’

‘Then don’t,’ she cut in. ‘I am having this baby, with or without you, Parker. I’d like you to be involved for the sake of the child, so maybe you could—’

‘But what if I’m not it?’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘What if I’m not the father? There’s that chance, right?’

‘Fuck you, Parker.’ She’d fought the urge to hang up. ‘Fuck you.’

‘I’m just saying—’

‘Don’t just say anything, you asshole.’

‘Look, I’ve got a career, Lana. I’m just starting out. You–you’ve kind of made it, yeah? You’ve done what you wanted so, like, I guess it’s the right time for you to have this kid. You know,’ he stammered, ‘if you want it. But for me, well, it’s not. And also,’ he tacked on hastily, as if it made the damnedest bit of difference, ‘I’ve got a girlfriend. I really think I should be left out of it, totally, so, like, it’s nothing to do with me.’

When Lana was sure he’d finished, she laughed. ‘God, you really are just a kid, aren’t you? And there I was crediting you with more than two brain cells. Turns out you’re just a juvenile prick after all.’

‘It’s not my fault,’ he’d whined. ‘You know what I think you should do. And if you don’t agree, why should I have to face the consequences?’

She could scarcely get to grips with his immaturity. ‘You may be heartless, Parker,’ she’d said eventually. ‘You may also be a shitty actor and a selfish sonofabitch, but do you know what I never thought you were?’

Silence. Then a grudging, ‘What?’

‘A coward.’

After they’d hung up she’d resisted breaking something. But, then, while she’d hoped for a little more support, she hadn’t counted on it. Parker’s baby was inside her yet she didn’t know its father at all.

Robert sent up a call, bringing her back to the here and now. They arranged to meet downstairs and the prospect filled her with nervy excitement, the kind she’d felt back at school; the kind that made it difficult to eat.

He was waiting for her in the foyer, handsome in a suit.

‘Want to spend some money?’ he smiled.

‘I don’t gamble,’ she said coyly.

‘Everybody gambles in Vegas. It’s the rules.’

She smiled. ‘In that case, I guess you’d better show me how it’s done.’

Lana had never hit a Vegas casino before. She found it disorientating, the bright lights and the high-strung buzz, the way glamour and sleaze operated side by side. It worked to a rhythm that got to your blood, chronic and unremitting.

‘Does this ever stop?’ she asked as they moved among the tables. Robert stopped to glad-hand a couple of high rollers, important-looking men with pink-hung cheeks and runny eyes.

He turned to her and grinned. ‘Not on my watch.’

Lana noticed the effect Robert had on his staff. News of the boss’s presence spread like a virus through the casino, with everyone working to a hundred and ten per cent. They wanted to do a good job for him because they liked him, she realised–but they were also a tiny bit afraid of him. It was respect. Something Cole had spent his life trying to master but he had perfected only intimidation.

At the roulette wheel Robert slipped into a game and told her to pick a number.

‘Er … I don’t know what to do.’

‘Black or red?’

‘Red!’

The ball dropped in. ‘No more bets!’

They got lucky. Lana went in again, then a third time. People were watching but she didn’t care. She was laughing, getting into the swing of it, happy with Robert at her side.

He put a hand on her arm. ‘Time out,’ he said, giving the dealer a wink as they departed the table. ‘Fortunes change.’

Afterwards they took a seat in the bar. It was innovatively themed, its side tables embroidered with a trompe l’oeil poker hand and each chair stamped with a suit. Lana was reminded of Alice in Wonderland. She might well have disappeared down the rabbit hole for how it all felt.

Robert ordered them drinks.

‘I’m glad you came,’ he told her, sitting back and looking at her. His gaze burned.

‘It was fun. Never knew I had a gambler in me.’

‘I mean that you came at all. Here.’

Lana looked away nervously. Outside was the Orient’s Dragon Garden, its verdant lawns and stone fountains glinting in the sun.

‘I didn’t think I’d see you again,’ he said quietly.

Lana nodded.

Robert took her hand. ‘I don’t want that to happen any more. I never want to not know how you are, where you are. If you’re happy. Do you understand?’

‘Robert—’

‘I mean it,’ he said firmly. ‘No more running. You’re too important to me.’

She drew her hand away.

‘I shouldn’t have said that.’

Lana shook her head. ‘I’m glad you did.’ She paused. ‘I want us to be friends.’

His voice was hollow. ‘Of course.’

‘Rita called this morning.’ She sipped from her glass.

‘And?’

‘Conversations are happening. Cole’s got a great lawyer on board but Rita doesn’t seem worried.’

‘She’s a remarkable woman.’

‘She is.’

Lana put down her drink. ‘It’s safe for me to go back. I’ll leave at the weekend.’

He nodded, had been expecting it. ‘How do you feel?’

‘Scared. But I have to do it. I have to face the consequences of what I’ve done.’

There was an awkward pause.

‘I don’t want you to go,’ he said. It was a statement, entirely unsentimental.

Lana was honest. ‘Neither do I.’

‘Then don’t.’

She searched his eyes. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘Stay here.’

‘Why?’

His gaze was serious, the look she had loved so long. ‘Because I want you to.’

In that instant, the world changed.

‘Lana, there’s something I have to say.’ He watched her solemnly. ‘I don’t want to marry Elisabeth. I thought I did, but I don’t. I convinced myself it was the right thing but it’s not. Please, don’t interrupt, let me just do this.’ He leaned forward. ‘All I can think about is you. Only you, always you. Since you walked away from us, not a day, not an hour, not a single minute has gone past when I haven’t thought about you.’ A beat. ‘I’m yours. You have me, you always did and you always will.’

‘Robert …’

‘I haven’t finished. I love Elisabeth. I do. But not in the way I love you. The way I love you is different, I can’t explain it, like it’s a different part of me I’m loving you with, and that part can’t ever belong to somebody else.’ His voice shook. ‘I don’t care how long I have to wait, how much I have to face, what it means for any of this’–he gestured around him–’but I’m not getting over you again.’ He bowed his head. A frown furrowed his brow. ‘I can’t marry her.’

Lana’s heart was thumping. ‘Did you just say all that?’ she whispered.

‘I’ll say it again.’

The fire that had been dead in her caught light. ‘You don’t need to,’ she said. ‘I can remember it.’

He took her hand again, not caring who saw. ‘Say it could work.’

‘We’d hurt people.’

‘Not in the long term.’

‘It’s impossible.’

He laughed, looked about him, then at her. ‘Anything’s possible. Wouldn’t you say?’

She laughed with him. ‘It’s crazy.’

‘The only things worth it are.’

Lana shook her head, squeezed his hand. ‘Robbie Lewis, what have you done to me?’

He smiled. ‘Not nearly enough.’

She smiled back.