Читать книгу The Marine Makes His Match - Victoria Pade - Страница 9

Chapter Three

“Oh, Conor, finally! I’ve been worried,” Kinsey said when she connected for a video chat with her oldest brother on Friday morning. She’d been up since five waiting to hear from him. It was almost eight. “Is Declan all right?”

Declan was another of her brothers and a twin with her brother Liam. The twins were the middle children—older than Kinsey, younger than Conor.

Three weeks earlier Declan had been badly wounded when the Humvee he was driving in Afghanistan went over a hidden bomb. He’d undergone an initial emergency trauma surgery in Afghanistan, then been transferred to a hospital in Germany for more surgery this morning.

Conor was a navy doctor but couldn’t treat family. So he’d taken leave to oversee Declan’s care and travel with him.

“It was touch and go for a while,” Conor admitted. “That’s why I’m late getting to you—the surgery went on longer than expected. But he did okay and he’s not going to lose the leg!”

“Thank God,” Kinsey muttered, breathing a sigh of relief.

“I was just with him in recovery and I got him to move his toes, so it looks like everything is working,” Conor continued. “They recasted his hand when we first got here and he’s starting to be able to use his fingers. The rest of the bumps and bruises and cuts are under control now, too, and I think he’s going to come out of this okay. The good news is that he’ll be sent stateside to recuperate and rehab, and I’ve put in for reassignment to go with him—that means you could have two of us there for a while.”

A while...

That was all she ever got with any of them.

“For how long?” she asked without showing her feelings.

“Can’t say. But we’ll be there, both of us in the states. Bethesda—”

“Maryland. Hardly right next door to Denver.”

“Right. But you can meet us there. And once Declan is doing well enough to be on his own a little, I can get to you. Eventually even Declan will probably be able to travel and maybe stay with you so you can help with some of his physical therapy.”

Kinsey nodded, knowing what her brother was getting at before he said it.

“This is a time for us to pull in—focus on each other and deal with our situations. So don’t stir up that whole Camden mess,” he added, just as she’d been expecting. “We don’t need the complication right now.”

Kinsey had broken the news of who their biological father was when she’d found out. All three of her brothers had had a different reaction than she had. Instead of wanting to reach out to family the way she did, they wanted to let sleeping dogs lie, certain that the Camdens would refuse to acknowledge them, leaving them—specifically her, who had put so much stock into this idea—with nothing but heartache and rejection.

“Now that you’re finished with that job that put you around them, just let it go,” Conor said.

“I don’t want to do that,” she responded, deciding not to mention that her new job put her in line for even more contact with the Camdens. That she’d struck a deal to create opportunities for it.

“Declan and I will be there!” her brother insisted. “We’re all the family you need.”

“You’ll only be here for a while,” she reminded him by repeating his words back to him.

“I know it’s been hard on you, Kins,” Conor said. “We all know it, even though you never complain. And we appreciate everything you’ve done standing in for us, not having us around to share the load with Mom and Hugh...” He shook his head. “But you have to think this through. The Camdens could already know we exist, meaning they’ve opted to pretend they don’t—”

“I never saw any hint that Livi Camden knew we’re related.”

“They could know there’s another family out there somewhere without knowing specifically who we are—do you think nobody missed all that money we’ve ended up with? That nobody ever knew it was paid to cover up a dirty little secret? A dirty little secret they don’t want to put faces and names to, let alone acknowledge? And say they don’t know we exist and you tell them. Can you see that being anything but ugly? They’ll probably call Mom a whore. And they’re the ones with the legitimate pedigree—that makes us the mutts. Is that really how you want us to be thought of? Labeled as less worthy? The Camden bastards? Is that what you want? Because we don’t.”

“They seem like nice people, Conor. Maybe it wouldn’t play out that way,” Kinsey persisted. “And even if you and Declan and Liam don’t want anything to do with the Camdens, that doesn’t mean that I can’t have anything to do with them.”

“It’s opening a can of worms, Kinsey. A huge can of worms. And I’m afraid it wouldn’t have whatever happy ending you’re hoping for. We’re the living proof that this guy was an adulterer—how well can that go over with people who want to believe the best of him?”

“But maybe no matter how it came to be, they might want to know that they have three half brothers and a half sister out in the world. The Camdens are all about family. Maybe their grandmother might like to know she has four more grandchildren...”

“Or not,” Conor said intractably. “Can’t you date or something instead? Think about building a family of your own? Something else?”

“Connecting with other brothers and sisters, our grandmother, isn’t a replacement for marriage and kids. I still want that, too. But I also want the Camdens. A grandmother. Cousins. Siblings.”

“You have brothers,” he said as if she’d forgotten.

“I haven’t been in a room with you or Declan in three years, Conor. It’s been closer to four for Liam.”

“Liam is on an elite team—”

“I know,” Kinsey said, cutting off one brother’s defense of the other. “I understand. But you have to understand where I’m coming from, too—”

“I do,” he said with some resignation, as if he’d been trying not to admit it. “It’s not just what you had to do without our help with Mom and Hugh. Now they’re gone. And if you get a flat tire you can’t call one of your big brothers to fix it.”

“I can change a flat tire and I have road service if my car breaks down, but yes! With you guys doing what you do, I sort of have family in name only—”

“Yeah, I know that’s true,” he conceded. “I know that’s it for you—day in, day out, on your own, nobody to turn to, nobody around to blow off steam to, to ask for help or an opinion or to go to dinner or a movie, no family for holidays or birthdays. Nobody to come if you end up in an emergency room. None of us for anything... Believe me, we hate that.”

“But hating it doesn’t change it. And maybe being part of the Camden family could...” Kinsey said.

Conor grimaced. “Really think about it before you reach out to them, will you? Declan and I will be in the states shortly—plan for that instead. Look forward to that for now. Maybe the three of us can even have Christmas together this year. Liam is out of reach for the time being, but when we have contact again, I’ll talk to him about putting in for leave. Maybe we could all meet at the farm, really talk this through while we pack things up there so you don’t have to do that on your own, too.”

That was so appealing—Christmas back on the farm, all four of them together...

But how many times had she hung her hopes on promises like that and had those promises broken? And even if the promises were kept, it only meant a brief taste of family before it ended and she was on her own once more.

She’d come to accept that that was the way it was with Conor, Declan and Liam, that it wasn’t ever going to be any different. Her brothers were career military. They went where they were ordered to go. And none of them was likely to come out of the service until they were retirees like the colonel. Her brothers would always be far, far away.

But the Camdens—who were also family—weren’t so distant, if only she could get them to open the door to let her in.

“Say you’ll wait at least until the first of the year before you do anything,” Conor prodded when she didn’t respond to his Christmas proposal.

“I can’t,” she said honestly.

A nurse appeared in the screen behind Conor just then to tell him something Kinsey couldn’t hear.

When the nurse left, Conor said to Kinsey, “I have to go. Declan is in some pain and I want to monitor what they’re giving him for it.”

“Sure. Good. Tell him I’m thinking about him and I love him.”

“I will. We love you, too, you know?”

“I know,” Kinsey said. “Love you, too.”

“Think Christmas in Northbridge like when we were kids. And don’t do anything rash.”

Kinsey only nodded at that before they said goodbye.

Then she gave a little prayer of thanks for Declan having come through the surgery and not losing his leg before she went to take a shower.

But even as she took off her pajamas and got under the spray of warm water, her conversation with Conor weighed on her.

What if he was right and the Camdens knew there was another branch on the family tree but didn’t want to acknowledge them?

If that was the case then none of them were likely to look kindly on her forcing the issue.

And even if they had no idea that Mitchum had been a philanderer with a second family, it certainly couldn’t come as good news now. Plus yes, it was possible that there wouldn’t be any love lost for that second family when they did find out.

But the Camdens were her flesh and blood—it always came down to that for Kinsey. And she just couldn’t let go of that now that she knew it. She just couldn’t let go of the hope that they might open a door for her to become one of them.

She recognized that a part of her hope for that might be coming from grief over losing the mother she’d loved dearly and been very close to. But that loss had also opened her eyes to the fact that she didn’t have anyone else left, either.

Being completely overwhelmed with caring for her adoptive father and then her mother for the last two and a half years had made it impossible not to neglect her other relationships.

Friends had found mates and she’d missed meeting those new people in their lives, missed their engagement parties, their bridal showers, their bachelorette parties, their weddings. They’d had babies and she’d missed those showers, too, and then the births, and even a first birthday celebration. Her friends had become enmeshed in their own lives, and Kinsey just hadn’t been able to keep up. So those friendships had gone by the wayside and left no meaningful place for her in any of them.

And now there was the potential to have sisters and brothers, a grandmother, nearby. And that had become important to her.

Not that she didn’t want to find a man and have a family of her own because she did, she thought as she finished her shower and began to dry her hair. The hardest thing she’d ever done was saying no to Trevor’s proposal. But it had been the difficulty she’d had rejecting Duncan after Trevor that had told her that she needed to conquer her loneliness before she ventured into any other romantic relationships. She didn’t want to end up with a man she didn’t really love just because she was afraid of being alone.

She opted to leave her hair down again today and dressed in a pair of jeans that she knew fit her to perfection and two layers of T-shirts—a tight yellow scoop-neck over a white tank top. Glancing in the mirror, she realized that once again, she had dressed to impress not the colonel, but Sutter.

There was no denying that he was a hunk and a half. That he was sexy as all get-out and so handsome any and every woman would take a second look and go slightly slack jawed.

But he was wrong for her. As wrong for her as Trevor had been. And yet here she was, here she had been since she’d met him, thinking about him. Factoring him into her choice of hairstyles and clothes again today despite having told herself she wasn’t going to do that again.

Loneliness was coloring her thoughts, her leanings. If not for that she was certain that the simple fact that Sutter was a career marine would have been enough for her to put him out of her mind.

But she didn’t seem able to do that. Instead, she was filled with eagerness to see him again, even though it wasn’t something she should be feeling. Something she doubted she’d be feeling at all if her life was fuller.

So it was better to focus on the Camdens, on the possibility of connecting with them.

And if—hopefully—that went well and she suddenly found herself a part of something bigger, then she could look for a mate of her own and trust that she was choosing wisely.

* * *

“With a little patience and a little effort, Colonel, you’ll have a fine dog in Jack. He’s just a pup—keep that in mind,” Todd Runyun said.

Todd had been working for Pets for Vets since leaving the marines four years ago. Kinsey had met him through her brother Liam, who had done two tours with him. An injury during their last deployment had caused Todd chronic back problems. ffWhen those problems flared he called Kinsey for physical therapy that she’d provided gratis. Returning the favor, he’d come to the Knightlingers’ house after his workday was over to teach Sutter, the colonel and Kinsey what to do with the rambunctious Jack.

Todd had brought his own dog Reggie, a former bomb-sniffing German shepherd he’d adopted when Reggie was retired from service. It had become clear during the two hours he’d been there that the colonel preferred Reggie to Jack and that was only confirmed when the colonel said, “How about you take Jack with you and leave me Reggie?”

Todd laughed. “Give young Jack here a chance—he’s a new recruit who needs to be whipped into shape like all new recruits.”

Then Todd wrapped up the training session with assignments as Jack tried to enlist Reggie into play, front paws outstretched, hind end in the air, tail wagging, at the ready for mischief while Reggie sat regally beside his master, pretending the puppy wasn’t there.

“Jack is a good pup, he’ll make a good dog,” the trainer concluded.

The colonel huffed under her breath as if she’d have to see it to believe it.

What Kinsey could see was that the elderly woman was tiring, and since their lessons were over she thanked Todd for everything and suggested she get the colonel settled for the night.

As Kinsey and the colonel left, she heard Sutter asking about the Pets for Vets organization itself, lamenting that he hadn’t known about the group when he had been looking for a dog for the colonel.

“Good man,” the colonel said once they were in her room, referring to Todd.

“He is.”

“Boyfriend?”

Not only didn’t Kinsey mind answering most personal questions, she was glad to have any show of interest from this particular patient. The colonel wasn’t one to make polite chitchat. If she was asking, it was because she wanted to know more about Kinsey, which was a sign that the colonel was warming to her.

“No, he’s only a friend,” she said, thinking as she did how true that was and wondering why, in comparison to Sutter, Todd’s good looks had no impact on her whatsoever. He was an attractive guy, after all—tall, blond, Nordic-looking. But nothing about him had ever inspired in her what she was struggling with over the colonel’s son.

“Todd is actually one of my brother’s friends,” she said, shying away from analyzing that phenomenon. Instead she forced herself to concentrate on the colonel and went on to explain how Todd knew Liam.

That led to the colonel’s asking about all three of her brothers and their military careers as Kinsey prepared the older woman for bed.

The fact that Kinsey had such close ties to the military in her brothers and her late stepfather—who had just retired from the marines when he’d met her mother—went a long way toward establishing greater rapport with the colonel, and by the time Kinsey was finished and the colonel was situated with a book and the remote control for her television, the atmosphere between them was considerably friendlier.

Friendly enough for the colonel to confide on the sly, “You know, I like a little brandy before bed...”

“I can’t call your doctor for permission for that now, but I’ll check with him first thing in the morning to make sure it won’t interfere with any of your meds. If we get the go-ahead, I’m fine with that. Even though you seem to sleep without it, I’ll tell him you need a little help and that should do the trick,” Kinsey offered.

For the first time she saw a small smile cross the older woman’s lips, apparently appreciating Kinsey’s willingness to conspire with her. “You do that,” the colonel said with the arch of one eyebrow.

Then, as Kinsey headed for the door after making sure the older woman didn’t need anything else, the colonel said, “Glad your other brother made it through his surgery this morning.”

“Thanks. Me, too. See you tomorrow.”

Apparently Sutter had found quite a bit to talk to Todd about because he was just closing the front door as Kinsey came from the colonel’s room. He had Jack slung under his good arm.

“Jack wanted to go home with Reggie?” Kinsey guessed as Sutter bent over to set the dog on the floor now that the opportunity to make a run for it was taken away.

“Yes. And I thought Todd might be tired of this puppy pestering his dog. I think there’s some hero worship going on there,” Sutter said. “Maybe Reggie can be his role model and Jack will work at improving himself to impress him.”

“Looked more to me like Jack was trying to corrupt Reggie, but let’s think positive,” Kinsey said.

“The colonel’s down for the count?”

“She’s in bed but not asleep if you want to say good-night, then we can do your physical therapy since we didn’t get to it earlier.”

“Yeah, we can’t skip that,” Sutter agreed with more enthusiasm than the prospect usually brought on in most of her patients. Not that that was a surprise to her—recovering meant he’d be able to return to combat, and her experience with her brothers had taught her that that was all the motivation a marine needed. “Meet you in the living room.”

Jack followed Kinsey while Sutter went to his mother’s bedroom. Once in the living room the puppy promptly leaped onto the sofa.

“Todd says you’re not supposed to do that unless you’re invited,” she whispered.

Jack wagged his tail and stayed put.

“Come on, get down,” she said before she recalled that she was to use one-word commands, and repeated only, “Down!”

Jack still didn’t budge so she picked him up and set him on the floor while saying, “Down!” again and then adding, “I bought you a reprieve from going back to the breeder, you’d better use it wisely.”

Jack wagged his tail again and she took that as encouragement. Until he jumped on the sofa again.

“Jack, down!” came Sutter’s deep voice from behind Kinsey as he joined them.

This time the puppy actually got off the couch.

When Sutter didn’t respond to that Kinsey whispered a reminder to him. “Praise...”

“Good boy!” Sutter said while Kinsey leaned over to pet the pup, too.

Then Sutter asked, “Shirt on or off?”

Oh, off, please!

He was wearing a pair of loose-fitting workout pants and a short-sleeved crew-necked gray T-shirt that could have been painted on him. It had been a terrible distraction to Kinsey all day and evening but since it didn’t create much of a barrier now it wasn’t really necessary for it to come off. Despite her every inclination to have him remove it.

Reminding herself that she wasn’t supposed to notice things like those incredible shoulders and that mile-wide chest and those muscular pecs, she resisted the urge to have the shirt disappear, and said, “I think we can work with the shirt on. Just take off the sling.” Then forcing herself into work mode, she said, “How’s everything feeling today?”

“The incision feels better with the stitches out. The shoulder and arm? Doesn’t seem possible for such a small thing but I can feel it all the way to my neck when I squeeze the ball.”

All the way to that neck that was thick but not too thick.

“But you’re able to squeeze the ball,” she pointed out. She’d watched him do it and—on top of everything else—realized that he had great hands, too. Big and strong and capable, with long fingers and thick wrists that led up to impressive forearms and those biceps...

Oh, those biceps...

Kinsey mentally took herself to task and again yanked her attention back. “Being able to squeeze a ball might seem like a small thing but it isn’t.”

And she needed to stop thinking about him squeezing more than the ball, squeezing parts of her...

Stop it right now!

“Why don’t you sit down?” she said then, deciding she needed to do her job and get out of there.

He did as he was told, sitting on the coffee table in front of the sofa where Kinsey could go to work.

“Todd says there are a lot of organizations out there for vets,” Sutter said as she did an initial warm-up of his arm and shoulder. “He works for Pets for Vets, but volunteers for a couple of others and has used the services of one or two more. Apparently getting back into civilian life can have complications for servicemen who decide not to be career military—I never really thought about it since I grew up surrounded by people who were either military-for-life or civilian employees of the military. I guess I just didn’t think about anything in between.”