Читать книгу Reborn - Vin Ph.D. Jackson - Страница 6

Light - so intense it masked everything. It was everything; yet nothing.

The Void.

And cold: an eternity of winters breathing simultaneously. A shivering stroll through liquid nitrogen, it was as impossible to describe as it was to tolerate. But she was doing it.

Something accompanied her - a feeling of detachment. She wasn't who she was. And yet, although she had changed, she was essentially the same. She had simply become negative.

The light held her back, bore her on - influential ambiguity which whispered of everlasting peace and eternal misery in the same breath. Only a fool would take the dangerous option, so she pushed on, expecting the light and its magnetism to grow stronger. But the power of the contrary forces continued to increase in tandem, tugging at her like some prize both needed to seduce. And they contested more than her body. Her mind was a confusion of temptations - love, hate, comfort, pain; grouped mainly into two distinct camps: Lonfay and Nova. Were they places, philosophies, what....? Which was better? How could she choose without knowing what either would mean to her?

The forces seemed to sympathise with her quandary and eased slightly, allowing her to take stock. She became aware of new information: integrated with the dense white were patches of black. At first she had a feeling they were only there because her rational mind needed the contrast, but as she advanced cautiously to take a closer look, the black became mottled with grey, was occasionally tinted by another colour - brown, maybe. And, not only did it seem more tangible, but she sensed it was pleased she thought so. Colours expressing gratitude.....?

Possibly - the white light was hovering in the background, sadly disappointed. When she turned away from it, she found herself standing before a wall. It stretched left and right and up as far as the eye could see. It looked solid enough to touch. And she knew it was.

How did she know that?

The same way she knew about Lonfay and Nova, she guessed - whatever they were. She left theorising to concentrate on the wall. It was moving, slowly distending and contracting like a huge flat belly. Like a womb.

She reached out gingerly, expecting the wall to feel soft like an elastic diaphragm. It was. Her fingers made a small indentation as the surface responded to her touch. Then it pushed back as if it were alive.

She snatched her hand away and giggled in nervous surprise. Then she was walking along, touching it occasionally, testing a growing confidence. Holding her palm against the wall she could feel something beyond - movement, writhing. She shuddered. The white light sighed mournfully.

Next, a warning. From the opposing forces or her own intuition, she wasn't sure. But whatever its source, the alarm was too clear to ignore - she was not alone. Someone else was in the Void with her. And they were coming closer!

She quickened her pace as she looked for a place to hide, not questioning why she needed to, knowing only that she feared being exposed. But there was nowhere. Just the light which continued to beckon gently. She was tempted, but at this moment kindness took second place to something solid.

Maybe the wall had a crevice, or a door? She continued to stumble along it, glancing behind frequently. Her breathing was shallow. Perspiration welled on her forehead, trickled down her temples. Also down her sides from weeping armpits. The sensation was strangely arousing.

She wasn't really aware of the current until it intensified significantly. The force was back - only one this time - dragging her parallel to the wall. Suddenly she knew she wanted the light and she reached out for it. But for some reason it didn't take her hand. As if it considered her already beyond redemption.

She lost sight of its brilliance as she concentrated on straining against the invisible magnetic tide. Everything was becoming so negative. The light was fading, the dark had hold of her, and the dangerous presence was still coming.

Yes, there! Just a glimpse. Enough to recognise the silhouette of another human being - a man. She hesitated instinctively. Very briefly. Then, the current changed direction and slammed her against the wall. She found herself pressed against it and tried to push away, but the elasticity simply absorbed her efforts. Softness began caressing her, moulded to her features. She could feel herself melting into it.

Trapped though she was, in a strange way she felt safe for now. From the man, certainly; but also from the voice. She could hear it drifting through the Void towards her. Like someone calling to her. It was familiar, reassuring. But something - another voice deep inside her head - warned it couldn't be trusted. She couldn't be trusted.

She? Listening more intently, she could tell now that it was a woman's voice. It was saying: "Richard, it's me - Janet." Then the sounds became suddenly distant as if this Janet person had turned away and was talking to someone else: "He can't hear me, can he, Doctor? But his eyes are open. What does that mean?"

Does anything mean anything?

In the light she was woman. Yet, though the voice called to a man, she knew it called to her. She was Richard. At least, she had been. Probably would be again if she went back. Back to Janet, the woman Richard didn't trust.

And don't forget the man in the Void. Don't forget him! Who was he, anyway? She seemed to know him, but in a detached way like a passing acquaintance. Not a pleasant experience, as she recalled. Painful, even. If he found her that might mean more pain. She didn't need it. Didn't need any of this. So she pressed further into the wall.

The membrane began to tear. One arm was through, then a shoulder. The rent was widening. Suddenly desires no longer mattered: she was falling and choice was irrelevant.

Implosion. It felt just like that. One moment an inner self, growing, spreading outward.... testing.... sensing. Next, the thought of being swallowed.

Of swallowing herself.