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NATHANAEL BODON, MARLBORO, NY, 2009

SPECIALIST E–4, U.S. ARMY RESERVE, 2007–2009

Motor Transport Operator. Honorable discharge under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

I joined the military September 11, 2007, went to Iraq in July 2009, and just returned after being “chaptered out” by the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. My goal for joining the military was my future. When I first went in, I went back into the closet because I was terrified. I had heard horror stories about hazing and people getting killed. I got to my unit in February of ’08 and we were put on alert in June. I left for training for deployment, so it was about a year that I was drilling before I actually went on orders. My unit was stationed in Baghdad, but they tasked me out at Al Asad Airbase. My job description was container and TMR [Transportation Movement Release] manager, so I took care of packaging all construction materials and sending them out everywhere. I was responsible for $12 million worth of equipment. That was my job and I was doing it really well. I had my own office; I had my own truck.

In October, I started hearing from one of my friends who was in Baghdad, “Watch what you’re putting online.” So I started doing a little digging. It turns out that on my blog I had put my address [in Iraq] and a list of creature comforts that people could send in care packages. My unit name was in the address and I found out that if you Google the unit, 445th Transportation Company, then my blog would pop up. It was the fourth entry. Right after I found out that information, I get an email from my platoon sergeant and she said that the commander wanted me back in Baghdad as soon as possible. I was in the dark about a week before he finally let me know that someone turned in my blog because there are pictures of me kissing my boyfriend. Then he let me know that I’d be getting chaptered out. He said he was going to try to get me a general discharge and that I could challenge it later and try to get it switched to honorable. I wasn’t going to sign anything unless it said honorable on it. It’s the soldier’s responsibility to prove that they are not gay. What does that entail? How do you prove your sexuality? In order to fight the discharge, I’d have to prove that I’m not gay.

It hurt that somebody screwed me over to that extent. I kept digging for information, and the signs kept pointing back to my home unit. When I left for the deployment I became really close to all those guys. They all said they had my back. One of them lied to me and betrayed me. That’s really why it’s important for me to know. Just for my own personal peace of mind I’d like to find out, but I don’t know if I’ll ever find out. Through this experience, I’ve become a stronger person; I’ve become a better person; I’ve matured a lot. It put me in a place where I wasn’t before. I was able to get my life together and take some direction in life. Do I regret it? Would I have done it differently? No. Because you know what? There is nothing wrong with who I am. And for me to want to do something differently or hide who I am would mean that I am ashamed of who I am—and I’m not. And it would mean that I’m admitting that I did something wrong—and there’s nothing wrong. I have the same rights as other people.

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