Читать книгу Dead end - Влад Вас - Страница 9

After saying farewell to a pair of friends, going on their last journey, I thought that I had no need neither to see such a life, nor to participate in it. I realized that I need urgently to change everything, what is more cardinal. Due to the direct involvement in all of this, it became clear to me that this is not friendship, but rather a survival game.

The ones around me didn’t respect anyone or anything; we all were satisfied only when the general interest was reinforced by the dose. The one, who brought these gifts, automatically turned from time to time to be the best friend, praised by the supporters of destructive temptation.

And we are engaged into this, more probably, due to the fact that grey, dull, everyday life induces the terrible boredom. We lost the taste of life from lack of love and understanding that you must first love, respect and, therefore, to take care of yourself, your health, inner world where we have to spend time to the last breath and last heartbeat.

If I someone explained me before, that all these pleasures you can get from pretty ordinary things, perhaps I would have never started to try and use artificial drugs to transform and enhance the good state for a while longer so as not to return to this poor world. But we did not have in the childhood such a perfect space of love which is created in full families, with the true human warm relations, with attention and care. How could we know that there is another life?

I have not seen any other circumstances and could not compare my life with anything, but something inside hooked and frightened me so much that it made me give up on this and leave the false friends. And after that amazing things started to happen, absolutely new values, which really gave me good impressions and pleasure, began to open up in front of me. It inspired me to respect myself and to move in that direction.

I had no longer appeared in the company, just like my guardian angel or my inner voice instinctively shielded me and pulled out of the swamp into which I gradually sank.

Once again I was redirected to another school, to a gymnasium, more decent. I began to regularly attend the lessons, in my spare time I worked either as a loader on the market, or a labor on construction sites. I was engaged in any work, that was not out of the bounds of the law and that I could have with my poor experience and young age.

I started to read a lot of books, which were a lot at my house, but before I did not notice them. I read scientific, classical literature and biographies of famous people, began to do exercises, attended Church, gave part of the money on donations and helped my grandmother. We talked a lot and became closer with her. I could share with her all my innermost thoughts and desires. She changed too, and was very happy for me, seeing that I’m changing for the better.

I graduated from school, saved up money for study in a higher educational institution and went to study to be an architect. I still worked, started martial arts, went to the gym, swimming pool, ran in the mornings, every day I did at least basic gymnastic exercises, and I forgot about bad habits a long time ago. As it turned out, that it’s very easy to stop doing.

I was engaged in physical exercises to keep my body in a beautiful shape, but also in order to become healthier and, of course, to fight back the bullies and able to fend for myself as the area in which we lived, couldn’t be called safe. Though many acquaintances lived here, there were a lot of strangers, wandered through the doorways and were often bullied, so the opportunity to stand up for myself and my dearest ones was one of the first necessities for existence.

My social circle has changed a lot, about each of them I can say only compliments, what is more the best ones: educated, decent, sincere people from good families, besides the athletes, some even professional. All charismatic, possess leadership qualities, they always are nice and easy to communicate, to converse on all sorts of topics, I wanted to imitate them, to strive for continuous development and self-improvement. The inner confidence in their sincerity passes far beyond the ten points of the ten-point scale. Mutual aid and support in the team was comprehend and was given without saying a word. Without asking for anything, they fully devoted to their friends in every way, ready to come to you in the difficult moment in any time of the day and to do everything possible to help. The only harmful thing we allowed ourselves, a minimum of alcohol for holydays.

In general, life was working out for the best.