Читать книгу Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour - W. Somerset Maugham - Страница 7

I'm sorry you should think so badly of me.

Lady Frederick.

I don't. Only it was a stroke of genius when Nature put the soul of a Jesuit priest into the body of a Yorkshire squire.

Fouldes.

I wonder what you're paying me compliments for. You must be rather afraid of me.

[They look at one another for a moment.

Lady Frederick.

Well, let's look at these cards.

Fouldes.

First of all, there's this money you've got to raise.

Lady Frederick.

Well?

Fouldes.

This is my sister's suggestion.

Lady Frederick.

That means you don't much like it.

Fouldes.

If you'll refuse the boy and clear out—we'll give you forty thousand pounds.

Lady Frederick.

I suppose you'd be rather surprised if I boxed your ears.

Fouldes.

Now, look here, between you and me high falutin's rather absurd, don't you think so? You're in desperate want of money, and I don't suppose it would amuse you much to have a young hobbledehoy hanging about your skirts for the rest of your life.

Lady Frederick.

Very well, we'll have no high falutin! You may tell Lady Mereston that if I really wanted the money I shouldn't be such an idiot as to take forty thousand down when I can have fifty thousand a year for the asking.

Fouldes.

I told her that.

Lady Frederick.

You showed great perspicacity. Now for the second card.

Fouldes.

My dear, it's no good getting into a paddy over it.

Lady Frederick.

I've never been calmer in my life.

Fouldes.

You always had the very deuce of a temper. I suppose you've not given Charlie a sample of it yet, have you?

Lady Frederick.

[Laughing.] Not yet.

Fouldes.

Well, the second card's your reputation.

Lady Frederick.

But I haven't got any. I thought that such an advantage.

Fouldes.

You see Charlie is a young fool. He thinks you a paragon of all the virtues, and it's never occurred to him that you've rather gone the pace in your time.

Lady Frederick.

It's one of my greatest consolations to think that even a hundred horse-power racing motor couldn't be more rapid than I've been.

Fouldes.

Still it'll be rather a shock to Charlie when he hears that this modest flower whom he trembles to adore has....

Lady Frederick.

Very nearly eloped with his own uncle. But you won't tell him that story because you hate looking a perfect ass.

Fouldes.

Madam, when duty calls, Paradine Fouldes consents even to look ridiculous. But I was thinking of the Bellingham affair.

Lady Frederick.

Ah, of course, there's the Bellingham affair. I'd forgotten it.

Fouldes.

Nasty little business that, eh?

Lady Frederick.

Horrid.

Fouldes.

Don't you think it would choke him off?

Lady Frederick.

I think it very probable.

Fouldes.

Well, hadn't you better cave in?

Lady Frederick.

[Ringing the bell.] Ah, but you've not seen my cards yet. [A servant enters.] Tell my servant to bring down the despatch-box which is on my writing-table.

SERVANT.

Yes, miladi.

[Exit.

Fouldes.

What's up now?

Lady Frederick.

Well, four or five years ago I was staying at this hotel, and Mimi la Bretonne had rooms here.

Fouldes.

I never heard of the lady, but her name suggests that she had an affectionate nature.

Lady Frederick.

She was a little singer at the Folies Bergères, and she had the loveliest emeralds I ever saw.

Fouldes.

But you don't know Maud's.

Lady Frederick.

The late Lord Mereston had a passion for emeralds. He always thought they were such pure stones.

Fouldes.

[Quickly.] I beg your pardon?

Lady Frederick.

Well, Mimi fell desperately ill, and there was no one to look after her. Of course the pious English ladies in the hotel wouldn't go within a mile of her, so I went and did the usual thing, don't you know.

[Lady Frederick's man comes in with a small despatch-box which he places on a table. He goes out. Lady Frederick as she talks, unlocks it.

Fouldes.

Thank God I'm a bachelor, and no ministering angel ever smoothes my pillow when I particularly want to be left alone.

Lady Frederick.

I nursed her more or less through the whole illness, and afterwards she fancied she owed me her worthless little life. She wanted to give me the precious emeralds, and when I refused was so heart-broken that I said I'd take one thing if I might.

Fouldes.

And what was that?

Lady Frederick.

A bundle of letters. I'd seen the address on the back of the envelope, and then I recognised the writing. I thought they'd be much safer in my hands than in hers. [She takes them out of the box and hands them to Paradine.] Here they are.

[He looks and starts violently.

Fouldes.

89 Grosvenor Square. It's Mereston's writing. You don't mean? What! Ah, ah, ah. [He bursts into a shout of laughter.] The old sinner. And Mereston wouldn't have me in the house, if you please, because I was a dissolute libertine. And he was the president of the Broad Church Union. Good Lord, how often have I heard him say: "Gentlemen, I take my stand on the morality, the cleanliness and the purity of English Family Life." Oh, oh, oh.

Lady Frederick.

I've often noticed that the religious temperament is very susceptible to the charms of my sex.

Fouldes.

May I look?

Lady Frederick.

Well, I don't know. I suppose so.

Fouldes.

[Reading.] "Heart's delight".... And he signs himself, "your darling chickabiddy." The old ruffian.

Lady Frederick.

She was a very pretty little thing.

Fouldes.

I daresay, but thank heaven, I have some sense of decency left, and it outrages all my susceptibilities that a man in side-whiskers should call himself anybody's chickabiddy.

Lady Frederick.

Protestations of undying affection are never ridiculous when they are accompanied by such splendid emeralds.

Fouldes.

[Starting and growing suddenly serious.] And what about Maud?

Lady Frederick.

Well?

Fouldes.

Poor girl, it'd simply break her heart. He preached at her steadily for twenty years, and she worshipped the very ground he trod on. She'd have died of grief at his death except she felt it her duty to go on with his work.

Lady Frederick.

I know.

Fouldes.

By Jove, it's a good card. You were quite right to refuse the emeralds: these letters are twice as valuable.

Lady Frederick.

Would you like to burn them?

Fouldes.

Betsy!

Lady Frederick.

There's the stove. Put them in.

[He takes them up in both hands and hurries to the stove. But he stops and brings them back, he throws them on the sofa.

Fouldes.

No, I won't.

Lady Frederick.

Why not?

Fouldes.

It's too dooced generous. I'll fight you tooth and nail, but it's not fair to take an advantage over me like that. You'll bind my hands with fetters.

Lady Frederick.

Very well. You've had your chance.

Fouldes.

But, by Jove, you must have a good hand to throw away a card like that. What have you got—a straight flush?

Lady Frederick.

I may be only bluffing, you know.

Fouldes.

Lord, it does me good to hear your nice old Irish brogue again.

Lady Frederick.

Faith, and does it?

Fouldes.

I believe you only put it on to get over people.

Lady Frederick.

[Smiling.] Begorrah, it's not easy to get over you.

Fouldes.

Lord, I was in love with you once, wasn't I?

Lady Frederick.

Not more than lots of other people have been.

Fouldes.

And you did treat me abominably.

Lady Frederick.

Ah, that's what they all said. But you got over it very well.

Fouldes.

I didn't. My digestion was permanently impaired by your brutal treatment.

Lady Frederick.

Is that why you went to Carlsbad afterwards instead of the Rocky Mountains?

Fouldes.

You may laugh, but the fact remains that I've only been in love once, and that was with you.

Lady Frederick.

[Smiling as she holds out her hand.] Good-night.

Fouldes.

For all that I'm going to fight you now for all I'm worth.

Lady Frederick.

I'm not frightened of you, Paradine.

Fouldes.

Good-night.

[As he goes out, Captain Montgomerie enters.

Lady Frederick.

[Yawning and stretching her arms.] Oh I'm so sleepy.

Captain Montgomerie.

I'm sorry for that. I wanted to have a talk with you.

Lady Frederick.

[Smiling.] I daresay I can keep awake for five minutes, you know—especially if you offer me a cigarette.

Captain Montgomerie.

Here you are.

[He hands her his case and lights her cigarette.

Lady Frederick.

[With a sigh.] Oh, what a comfort.

Captain Montgomerie.

I wanted to tell you, I had a letter this morning from my solicitor to say that he's just bought Crowley Castle on my behalf.

Lady Frederick.

Really. But it's a lovely place. You must ask me to come and stay.

Captain Montgomerie.

I should like you to stay there indefinitely.

Lady Frederick.

[With a quick look.] That's charming of you, but I never desert my London long.

Captain Montgomerie.

[Smiling.] I have a very nice house in Portman Square.

Lady Frederick.

[Surprised.] Really?

Captain Montgomerie.

And I'm thinking of going into Parliament at the next election.

Lady Frederick.

It appears to be a very delightful pastime to govern the British nation, dignified without being laborious.

Captain Montgomerie.

Lady Frederick, although I've been in the service I have rather a good head for business, and I hate beating about the bush. I wanted to ask you to marry me.

Lady Frederick.

It's nice of you not to make a fuss about it. I'm very much obliged but I'm afraid I can't.

Captain Montgomerie.

Why not?

Lady Frederick.

Well, you see, I don't know you.

Captain Montgomerie.

We could spend the beginning of our married life so usefully in making one another's acquaintance.

Lady Frederick.

It would be rather late in the day then to come to the conclusion that we couldn't bear the sight of one another.

Captain Montgomerie.

Shall I send my banker's book so that you may see that my antecedents are respectable and my circumstances—such as to inspire affection.

Lady Frederick.

I have no doubt it would be very interesting—but not to me.

[She makes as if to go.

Captain Montgomerie.

Ah, don't go yet. Won't you give me some reason?

Lady Frederick.

If you insist. I'm not in the least in love with you.

Captain Montgomerie.

D'you think that much matters?

Lady Frederick.

You're a friend of Gerald's, and he says you're a very good sort. But I really can't marry every one that Gerald rather likes.

Captain Montgomerie.

He said he'd put in a good word for me.

Lady Frederick.

If I ever marry again it shall be to please myself, not to please my brother.

Captain Montgomerie.

I hope I shall induce you to alter your mind.

Lady Frederick.

I'm afraid I can give you no hope of that.

Captain Montgomerie.

You know, when I determine to do a thing, I generally do it.

Lady Frederick.

That sounds very like a threat.

Captain Montgomerie.

You may take it as such if you please.

Lady Frederick.

And you've made up your mind that you're going to marry me?

Captain Montgomerie.

Quite.

Lady Frederick.

Well, I've made up mine that you shan't. So we're quits.

Captain Montgomerie.

Why don't you talk to your brother about it?

Lady Frederick.

Because it's no business of his.

Captain Montgomerie.

Isn't it? Ask him!

Lady Frederick.

What do you mean by that?

Captain Montgomerie.

Ask him? Good-night.

Lady Frederick.

Good-night. [He goes out. Lady Frederick goes to the French window that leads to the terrace and calls.] Gerald!

Gerald.

Hulloa!

[He appears and comes into the room.

Lady Frederick.

Did you know that Captain Montgomerie was going to propose to me?

Gerald.

Yes.

Lady Frederick.

Is there any reason why I should marry him?

Gerald.

Only that I owe him nine hundred pounds.

Lady Frederick.

[Aghast.] Oh, why didn't you tell me?

Gerald.

You were so worried, I couldn't. Oh, I've been such a fool. I tried to make a coup for Rose's sake.

Lady Frederick.

Is it a gambling debt?

Gerald.

Yes.

Lady Frederick.

[Ironically.] What they call a debt of honour?

Gerald.

I must pay it the day after to-morrow without fail.

Lady Frederick.

But that's the day my two bills fall due. And if you don't?

Gerald.

I shall have to send in my papers, and I shall lose Rosie. And then I shall blow out my silly brains.

Lady Frederick.

But who is the man?

Gerald.

He's the son of Aaron Levitzki, the money-lender.

Lady Frederick.

[Half-comic, half-aghast.] Oh lord!

END OF THE FIRST ACT