Читать книгу Blind Man's Year - Warwick Deeping - Страница 18

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He was to be blind, and he did not know it.

Never was she to forget that moment of secret and selfish exultation, and her sudden horror of it as she thrust it away deep down like some evil thing that had escaped from the darkness. One’s little shameful vanities! Nor was she to forget the bright and definite face of the doctor who came up from Westbourn. He was a mignon man, polished, efficient, final, even as to chin and glasses. They had called her into the dining-room, and with both doors closed had given her their verdict.

“But can nothing be done?”

Dr. Steel had explained to her why nothing could be done, and as she had listened to him she had seemed to see those two delicate organs as so much blood and jelly.

“Completely disorganized, Miss Gerard; ruptured. Terribly bad luck.”

He had spread the first and middle fingers of his right hand.

“Imagine a broken bough with a fork like that catching him in the face. That’s how it must have happened.”

She had looked at those pointed fingers and shuddered.

“Please, don’t. Yes, I think I understand. And you will not be able—?”

“Yes, I’m afraid we shall have to operate, remove both eyeballs. I will take him into hospital.”

She had turned to the window, and looking up at the green hill and its trees realized what blindness meant, no sky, no woods and hills, no sea, no faces.

“Have you told him?”

“No.”

She had heard Heberden’s quiet, deliberate voice.

“We wondered whether we would leave it for a day or two. We have put on new dressings. He doesn’t realize—”

“Are you sure?”

“We told him that the lids—”

“You want to let the knowledge come gradually. But won’t the shock be more bitter? I mean, days of hope, of concealment, and then—”

The two doctors had looked at each other.

“There is something in what you say, Miss Gerard. We had discussed it before you came in. Would you tell him?”

She stood rigid.

“I?”

“Yes, your touch might be lighter. I know it is not a pleasant thing to do.”

She had turned and faced them.

“Very well, I will tell him.”