Читать книгу Mirrors: Sparkling new stories from prize-winning authors - Wendy Cooling - Страница 9

Malorie Blackman WATCHING

Have you ever wanted something so badly, so completely that it doesn’t just become part of you, you become part of it? Have you ever longed for something so much that you can’t think of anything else, can’t feel for anything else? Everything else just fades away into nothingness. Well, that’s the way it is with me and acting. I mean it. I want to act. I’m no good at anything else because I’ve never really concentrated on anything else. From the time I was seven or eight, whenever anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was always the same. An actress. At first my family thought it was sweet. Now they don’t. I don’t think the woman in the mirror likes it either.

But she doesn’t scare me any more. Well, hardly ever. Most of the time she just sits there, staring at me. Sometimes she speaks… but I can’t hear a word she’s saying. Her lips move either very slowly or in a frantic rush, like a face on a TV screen when someone’s messing about with the fast-forward or slow-mo buttons. She talks and talks at me – but I can’t hear a word. I just shake my head at her now, or turn away. I can’t understand what she’s trying to tell me and, to be honest, I don’t think I want to. I stopped trying to listen a long time ago. Sometimes tears trickle down her cheeks. Silent tears. But I don’t mind any more. I’m used to her now. It took a while, I must admit. I mean, the first time I saw her, I screamed blue murder. One moment I was sitting there in front of my dressing table, combing my hair and minding my own business, when an unexpected tangle sent the comb flicking out of my hand. I bent down to pick it up and when I straightened up, she