Читать книгу A Plea for Monogamy - Wilfrid Lay - Страница 26

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Mutuality does not exist where the wife has no alternative other than the autoerotic reaction of the husband. But in spite of an unchanging autoerotic disposition of the wife, mutuality may be absolutely secured by the instructed husband. As indicated below, the average honeymoon should see the beginning of the end of mental autoerotic reactions on the part of the groom.

Even the groom that has had previous sex experience is in his early marriage in an erotic situation which is essentially new to him—a situation that contains elements the like of which he never could have experienced before. The inevitable novelty of these new elements is a condition, on his part, of perceiving all new sensations, practically of having unprecedented things done to him.

The things done to him are more numerous and newer than anything in all his previous experience. In this sense, then, he is by force of circumstances placed upon an autoerotic level, from which it is his imperative duty to ascend in order that by his control of his own erotic reactions he may control those of his wife. No apology is needed for an initial autoerotic response on the newly wedded husband’s part.

It might be said that in the situation of bride and groom each having things done to them by the other, rather than positively doing things to each other, there might be a situation of perfect mutuality. But if it is, it never remains any longer than the duration of a honeymoon, for the essential femininity of the woman demands that in the erotic sphere alone, she be led, and with no uncertain guidance.

The honeymoon ends automatically when this point is reached; and the condition of true mutuality in perfect marital relations ensues if the husband has a virile love of his wife and takes the lead. If his love is not virile, but merely autoerotic and puerile, he never assumes this leadership, and his wife becomes more and more unresponsive to him, simply because the only type of activity to which she can respond is an erotic virility, a true manliness that contains the real essence of masculinity which is the imperative necessity to control the entire erotic life of one woman.