Читать книгу The Autobiography of Wilhelm Stekel - The Life Story of a Pioneer Psychoanalyst - Wilhelm Stekel - Страница 17

Which of our emotions is lasting? I mentioned that I wrote poems, mostly about nature, and some humorous ones. Then came the event that made me feel like a true poet. As I was walking along the usual promenade, an extremely pretty girl, Bertha, looked at me. It came like a lightning flash—love at first sight. I ran to my friends and declared, “I am very happy because I am unhappily in love.” Now a regular stream of poems flowed. I made eyes at Bertha on every occasion, usually from a distance. When she sent me a message telling me not to stare at her, I continued to gaze at her, but from a longer distance. I was happy in the unhappiness that provided the inspiration for new poems. For a long time I could not understand why I loved her at first sight. Then I noticed that my mother had the same slanting look and the same eyes. Love at first sight is a revival of an infantile impression. The first love object reappears in a different disguise. The crystallization of such an ideal usually originates in early childhood; the ideal in reality represents the past projected into the future. I kept my ideal apart from my carnal experiences.