The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody

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Will Cuppy. The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PART I. IT SEEMS THERE WERE. TWO EGYPTIANS

Cheops, or Khufu Hatshepsut

CHEOPS, OR KHUFU

HATSHEPSUT

PART II. ANCIENT GREEKS AND WORSE

Pericles Alexander the Great Hannibal Cleopatra Nero

PERICLES

ALEXANDER THE GREAT

HANNIBAL

CLEOPATRA

NERO

PART III. STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

Attila the Hun Charlemagne Lady Godiva Lucrezia Borgia Philip the Sap

ATTILA THE HUN

CHARLEMAGNE

LADY GODIVA

LUCREZIA BORGIA

PHILIP THE SAP

PART IV. A FEW GREATS

Louis XIV Madame du Barry Peter the Great Catherine the Great Frederick the Great

LOUIS XIV

MADAME DU BARRY

PETER THE GREAT

CATHERINE THE GREAT

FREDERICK THE GREAT

PART V. MERRIE ENGLAND

William the Conqueror Henry VIII Elizabeth George III

WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR

HENRY VIII

ELIZABETH

GEORGE III

PART VI. NOW WE’RE GETTING. SOMEWHERE

Leif the Lucky Christopher Columbus Montezuma Captain John Smith Miles Standish

LEIF THE LUCKY

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS

MONTEZUMA

CAPTAIN JOHN SMITH

MILES STANDISH

PART VII. THEY ALL HAD THEIR FUN

Some Royal Pranks Some Royal Stomachs. SOME ROYAL PRANKS

SOME ROYAL STOMACHS

AFTERWORD

Also by Will Cuppy

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Introduction by the Editor

PART I: IT SEEMS THERE WERE TWO EGYPTIANS Cheops, or Khufu Hatshepsut

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For a general notion of Hatshepsut’s appearance at a certain stage of her career, we are indebted to one of those wall inscriptions. It states that “to look upon her was more beautiful than anything; her splendor and her form were divine.” Some have thought it odd that the female Pharaoh should have been so bold, fiftyish as she was. Not at all. She was merely saying how things were about thirty-five years back, before she had married Thutmose II and slugged it out with Thutmose III. “She was a maiden, beautiful and blooming,” the hieroglyphics run, and we have no reason to doubt it. Surely there is no harm in telling the world how one looked in 1514 B.C.

Whatever the records may hint about Hatshepsut and her friend, they accomplished plenty of solid constructive work, and the rest is only hearsay. You know how people talk. Titles like Chief of the Works, Superintendent of the Royal Bedroom, and Steward of the Private Apartments are easily misunderstood, as are gifts of land and gold running into the millions and prolonged conversations in the small hours, all of which may have been Hatshepsut’s method of handling a business connection necessary to the success of her career. Really good architects are hard to get.

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