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THE DOUBLE CROSS

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Though all of us have heard of crost fights, And certain gains, by certain lost fights, I rather fancies that it’s news, How in a mill, both men should lose; For vere the odds are thus made even, It plays the dickens with the steven;96 Besides, against all rule they’re sinning, Vere neither has no chance of vinning. Ri, tol, lol, &c.

Two milling coves, each vide avake, Vere backed to fight for heavy stake: But in the mean time, so it vos, Both kids agreed to play a cross; Bold came each buffer97 to the scratch, To make it look a tightish match; They peeled98 in style, and bets vere making, ‘Tvos six to four, but few vere taking. Ri, tol, lol, &c.

Quite cautiously the mill began,

For neither knew the other’s plan;

Each cull99 completely in the dark, Of vot might be his neighbor’s mark; Resolved his fibbing100 not to mind, Nor yet to pay him back in kind; So on each other kept they tout,101 And sparred a bit, and dodged about, Ri, tol, lol, &c.

Vith mawleys102 raised, Tom bent his back, As if to plant a heavy thwack: Vile Jem, with neat left-handed stopper, Straight threatened Tommy with a topper; ’Tis all my eye! no claret flows, No facers sound — no smashing blows — Five minutes pass, yet not a hit, How can it end, pals? — vait a bit. Ri, tol, lol, &c.

Each cove vas teazed with double duty, To please his backers, yet play booty;103 Ven, luckily for Jem, a teller Vos planted right upon his smeller; Down dropped he, stunned; ven time vas called, Seconds in vain the seconds bawled; The mill is o’er, the crosser crost, The loser’s von, the vinner’s lost! Ri, tol, lol, &c.

The party assumed once more a lively air, and the glass was circulated so freely, that at last a final charge drained the ample bowl of its contents.

“The best of friends must part,” said Dick; “and I would willingly order another whiff of punch, but I think we have all had enough to satisfy us, as you milling coves have it, Zory! Your one eye has got a drop in it already, old fellow; and, to speak the truth, I must be getting into the saddle without more delay, for I have a long ride before me. And now, friend Jerry, before I start, suppose you tip us one of your merry staves; we haven’t heard your pipe to-day, and never a cross cove of us all can throw off so prime a chant as yourself. A song! a song!”

“Ay, a song!” reiterated King and the Magus.

“You do me too much honor, gemmen,” said Jerry, modestly, taking a pinch of snuff; “I am sure I shall be most happy. My chants are all of a sort. You must make all due allowances — hem!” And, clearing his throat, he forthwith warbled

W. H. Ainsworth Collection: 20+ Historical Novels, Gothic Romances & Adventure Classics

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