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GRAND CHORUS

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Then hip, hurrah! Fling care away! Hurrah for the game of high toby!

“And now, pals,” said Dick, who began to feel the influence of these morning cups, “I vote that we adjourn. Believe me I shall always bear in mind that I am a brother of your band. Sir Luke and I must have a little chat together ere I take my leave. Adieu!”

And taking Luke by the arm, he walked out of the tent. Peter Bradley rose, and followed them.

At the door they found the dwarfish Grasshopper with Black Bess. Rewarding the urchin for his trouble, and slipping the bridle of his mare over his hand, Turpin continued his walk over the green. For a few minutes he seemed to be lost in rumination.

“I tell you what, Sir Luke,” said he; “I should like to do a generous thing, and make you a present of this bit of paper. But one ought not to throw away one’s luck, you know — there is a tide in the affairs of thieves, as the player coves say, which must be taken at the flood, or else —— no matter! Your old dad, Sir Piers — God help him! — had the gingerbread, that I know; he was, as we say, a regular rhino-cerical cull. You won’t feel a few thousands, especially at starting; and besides, there are two others, Rust and Wilder, who row in the same boat with me, and must therefore come in for their share of the reg’lars. All this considered, you can’t complain, I think if I ask five thousand for it. That old harridan, Lady Rookwood, offered me nearly as much.”

“I will not talk to you of fairness,” said Luke; “I will not say that document belongs of right to me. It fell by accident into your hands. Having possessed yourself of it, I blame you not that you dispose of it to the best advantage. I must, perforce, agree to your terms.”

“Oh, no,” replied Dick, “it’s quite optional; Lady Rookwood will give as much, and make no mouths about it. Soho, lass! What makes Bess prick her ears in that fashion? — Ha! carriage-wheels in the distance! that jade knows the sound as well as I do. I’ll just see what it’s like! — you will have ten minutes for reflection. Who knows if I may not have come in for a good thing here?”

At that instant the carriage passed the angle of a rock some three hundred yards distant, and was seen slowly ascending the hill-side. Eager as a hawk after his quarry, Turpin dashed after it.

In vain the sexton, whom he nearly overthrew in his career, called after him to halt. He sped like a bolt from the bow.

“May the devil break his neck!” cried Peter, as he saw him dash through the brook; “could he not let them alone?”

“This must not be,” said Luke; “know you whose carriage it is?”

“It is a shrine that holds the jewel that should be dearest in your eyes,” returned Peter; “haste, and arrest the spoiler’s hand.”

“Whom do you mean?” asked Luke.

“Eleanor Mowbray,” replied Peter. “She is there. To the rescue — away.”

“Eleanor Mowbray!” echoed Luke —“and Sybil? ——”

At this instant a pistol-shot was heard.

“Will you let murder be done, and upon your cousin?” cried Peter, with a bitter look. “You are not what I took you for.”

Luke answered not, but, swift as the hound freed from the leash, darted in the direction of the carriage.

* * * * *

25. The Merry Beggars.

26. The parties to be wedded find out a dead horse, or any other beast, and standing one on the one side, and the other on the other, the patrico bids them live together till death do them part; and so shaking hands, the wedding dinner is kept at the next alehouse they stumble into, where the union is nothing but knocking of cannes, and the sauce, none but drunken brawles. —Dekkar.

27. Receiver.

28. Memoirs, of the right villainous John Hall, the famous, and notorious Robber, penned from his Mouth some Time before his Death, 1708.

29. A famous highwayman.

30. A real gentleman.

31. Breeches and boots.

32. Gipsy flask.

33. How he exposes his pistols.

34. For an account of these, see Grose. They are much too gross to be set down here.

35. “The shalm, or shawm, was a wind instrument, like a pipe, with a swelling protuberance in the middle.”—Earl of Northumberland’s Household Book.

36. Perhaps the most whimsical laws that were ever prescribed to a gang of thieves were those framed by William Holliday, one of the prigging community, who was hanged in 1695:

Art. I. directs — That none of his company should presume to wear shirts, upon pain of being cashiered.

II. — That none should lie in any other places than stables, empty houses, or other bulks.

III. — That they should eat nothing but what they begged, and that they should give away all the money they got by cleaning boots among one another, for the good of the fraternity.

IV. — That they should neither learn to read nor write, that he may have them the better under command.

V. — That they should appear every morning by nine, on the parade, to receive necessary orders.

VI. — That none should presume to follow the scent but such as he ordered on that party.

VII. — That if any one gave them shoes or stockings, they should convert them into money to play.

VIII. — That they should steal nothing they could not come at, for fear of bringing a scandal upon the company.

IX. — That they should cant better than the Newgate birds, pick pockets without bungling, outlie a Quaker, outswear a lord at a gaming-table, and brazen out all their villainies beyond an Irishman.

37. Cell.

38. Newgate.

39. A woman whose husband has been hanged.

40. A dancing-master.

41. “Nothing, comrades; on, on,” supposed to be addressed by a thief to his confederates.

42. Thus Victor Hugo, in “Le Dernier Jour d’un Condamné,” makes an imprisoned felon sing:

“J’le ferai danser une danse

Où il n’y a pas de plancher.”

43. Thieves in prison.

44. Shoplifter.

45. Pickpocket.

46. Handkerchiefs.

47. Rings.

48. To the pawnbroker.

49. Snuff-boxes.

50. Pickpocket.

51. The two forefingers used in picking a pocket.

52. Pickpocket.

53. Pick a pocket.

54. No inside coat-pocket; buttoned up.

55. Scissors.

56. Steal a pocket-book.

57. Best-made clothes.

58. Thief.

59. With my hair dressed in the first fashion.

60. With several rings on my hands.

61. Seals.

62. Gold watch.

63. Laced shirt.

64. Gentlemanlike.

65. Easily than forged notes could I pass.

66. Favorite mistress.

67. Police.

68. Taken at length.

69. Cast for transportation.

70. Fetters.

71. Turnkey.

72. Gipsy.

73. Pickpockets.

74. This song describes pretty accurately the career of an extraordinary individual, who, in the lucid intervals of a half-crazed understanding, imposed himself upon the credulous inhabitants of Canterbury, in the year 1832, as a certain ”Sir William Percy Honeywood Courtenay, Knight of Malta;” and contrived — for there was considerable “method in his madness”— to support the deception during a long period. The anachronism of his character in a tale — the data of which is nearly a century back — will, perhaps, be overlooked, when it is considered of how much value, in the illustration of “wise saws,” are “modern instances.” Imposture and credulity are of all ages; and the Courtenays of the nineteenth are rivalled by the Tofts and Andrés of the eighteenth century. The subjoined account of the soi-disant Sir William Courtenay is extracted from “An Essay on his Character, and Reflections on his Trial,” published at the theatre of his exploits: “About Michaelmas last it was rumored that an extraordinary man was staying at the Rose Inn of this city — Canterbury — who passed under the name of Count Rothschild, but had been recently known in London by the name of Thompson! This would have been sufficient to excite attention, had no other incidents materially added to the excitement. His costume and countenance denoted foreign extraction, while his language and conversation showed that he was well acquainted with almost every part of this kingdom. He was said to live with singular frugality, notwithstanding abundant samples of wealth, and professions of an almost unlimited command of money. He appeared to study retirement, if not concealment, although subsequent events have proved that society of every grade, beneath the middle class, is the element in which he most freely breathes. He often decked his person with a fine suit of Italian clothing, and sometimes with the more gay and imposing costume of the Eastern nations; yet these foreign habits were for months scarcely visible beyond the limits of the inn of his abode, and the chapel not far from it, in which he was accustomed to offer his Sabbath devotions. This place was the first to which he made a public and frequent resort; and though he did not always attempt to advance towards the uppermost seat in the synagogue, he attracted attention from the mere singularity of his appearance.

“Such was the eccentric, incongruous individual who surprised our city by proposing himself as a third candidate for its representation, and who created an entertaining contest for the honor, long after the sitting candidates had composed themselves to the delightful vision of an inexpensive and unopposed return. The notion of representing the city originated beyond all doubt in the fertile brain of the man himself. It would seem to have been almost as sudden a thought in his mind, as it was a sudden and surprising movement in the view of the city; nor have we been able to ascertain whether his sojourn at the Rose was the cause or the effect of his offering to advocate our interests in Parliament — whether he came to the city with that high-minded purpose, or subsequently formed the notion, when he saw, or thought he saw, an opening for a stranger of enterprise like himself.

* * * * *

“As the county election drew on, we believe between the nomination on Barham Downs and the voting in the cattle market of the city, the draught of a certain handbill was sent to a printer of this city, with a request that he would publish it without delay. Our readers will not be surprised that he instantly declined the task; but as we have obtained possession of the copy, and its publication can now do no injury to any one, we entertain them with a sight of this delectable sample of Courtenay prudence and politeness.

“‘O yes! O yes! O yes! I, Lord Viscount William Courtenay, of Powderham Castle, Devon, do hereby proclaim Sir Thomas Tylden, Sir Brook Brydges, Sir Edward Knatchbull, and Sir William Cosway, four cowards, unfit to represent, or to assist in returning members of Parliament to serve the brave men of Kent.

“‘Percy Honeywood Courtenay, of Hales and Evington Place, Kent, and Knight of Malta.

“‘Any gentleman desiring to know the reasons why Lord Courtenay so publicly exposes backbiters, any man of honor shall have satisfaction at his hands, and in a public way, according to the laws of our land — trial by combat; when the Almighty God, the Lord of Hosts is his name, can decide the “truth,” whether it is a libel or not. I worship truth as my God, and will die for it — and upon this we will see who is strongest, God or man.’

“It is a coincidence too curious to be overlooked, that this doughty champion of truth should so soon have removed himself from public life by an act of deliberate and wanton perjury. We never read any of his rhapsodies, periodical or occasional, till the publication of this essay imposed the self-denying task upon us; but now we find that they abound in strong and solemn appeals to the truth; in bold proclamations that truth is his palladium; in evidences that he writes and raves, that he draws his sword and clenches his fist, that he expends his property and the property of others committed to his hands, in no cause but that of truth! His famous periodical contains much vehement declamation in defence of certain doctrines of religion, which he terms the truth of the sublime system of Christianity, and for which alone he is content to live, and also willing to die. All who deviate from his standard of truth, whether theological or moral, philosophical or political, he appears to consider as neither fit for life nor death. Now it is a little strange, his warmest followers being witness, that such an advocate of truth should have become the willing victim of falsehood, the ready and eager martyr of the worst form of falsehood — perjury.

“The decline of his influence between the city and county elections has been partly attributed, and not without reason, to the sudden change in his appearance from comparative youth to advancing, if not extreme age. On the hustings of the city he shone forth in all the dazzling lustre of an Oriental chief; and such was the effect of gay clothing on the meridian of life, that his admirers, especially of the weaker sex, would insist upon it that he had not passed the beautiful spring-time of May. There were, indeed, some suspicious appearances of a near approach to forty, if not two or three years beyond it; but these were fondly ascribed to his foreign travels in distant and insalubrious climes; he had acquired his duskiness of complexion, and his strength of feature and violence of gesture, and his profusion of beard, in Egypt and Syria, in exploring the catacombs of the one country, and bowing at the shrines of the other. On the other hand, the brilliancy of his eye, the melody of his voice, and the elasticity of his muscles and limbs, were sufficient arguments in favor of his having scarcely passed the limit that separates manhood from youth.

“All doubts on these points were removed, when the crowd of his fair admirers visited him at the retirement of his inn, and the intervals of his polling. These sub-Rosa interviews — we allude to the name of the inn, and not to anything like privacy there, which the very place and number of the visitors altogether precluded — convinced them that he was even a younger and lovelier man than his rather boisterous behavior in the hall would allow them to hope. In fact, he was now installed by acclamation Knight of Canterbury as well as Malta, and King of Kent as well as Jerusalem! It became dangerous then to whisper a syllable of suspicion against his wealth or rank, his wisdom or beauty; and all who would not bow down before this golden image were deemed worthy of no better fate than Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego — to be cast into a burning fiery furnace.”

As a sequel to the above story, it may be added that the knight of Malta became the inmate of a lunatic asylum; and on his liberation was shot at the head of a band of Kentish hinds, whom he had persuaded that he was the Messiah!

75. A pipe of tobacco.

76. A drink composed of beer, eggs, and brandy.

77. The supposed malignant influence of this plant is frequently alluded to by our elder dramatists; and with one of the greatest of them, Webster — as might be expected from a muse revelling like a ghoul in graves and sepulchres — it is an especial favorite. But none have plunged so deeply into the subject as Sir Thomas Browne. He tears up the fable root and branch. Concerning the danger ensuing from eradication of the mandrake, the learned physician thus writes: “The last assertion is, that there follows a hazard of life to them that pull it up, that some evil fate pursues them, and that they live not very long hereafter. Therefore the attempt hereof among the ancients was not in ordinary way; but, as Pliny informeth, when they intended to take up the root of this plant, they took the wind thereof, and with a sword describing three circles about it, they digged it up, looking toward the west. A conceit not only injurious unto truth and confutable by daily experience, but somewhat derogatory unto the providence of God; that is, not only to impose so destructive a quality on any plant, but to conceive a vegetable whose parts are so useful unto many, should, in the only taking up, prove mortal unto any. This were to introduce a second forbidden fruit, and enhance the first malediction, making it not only mortal for Adam to taste the one, but capital for his posterity to eradicate or dig up the other.”—Vulgar Errors, book ii. c. vi.

78. The moon.

79. Light.

80. Highwayman.

81. “Cherry-colored — black; there being black cherries as well as red.”—Grose.

82. Sword.

83. Pistols.

84. Highway robbery.

85. Pocket-book.

86. Money.

87. Bullets.

88. The gallows.

89. Ditto.

The Collected Novels

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