Читать книгу Songs of a Savoyard - William Schwenck Gilbert - Страница 17

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,

I've got a little list – I've got a little list

Of social offenders who might well be underground,

And who never would be missed – who never would be missed!

There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs -

All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs -

All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat -

All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like THAT -

And all third persons who on spoiling TETE-E-TETES insist -

They'd none of 'em be missed – they'd none of 'em be missed!

There's the nigger serenader, and the others of his race,

And the piano organist – I've got him on the list!

And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,

They never would be missed – they never would be missed!

Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,

All centuries but this, and every country but his own;

And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,

And who "doesn't think she waltzes, but would rather like to try";

And that FIN-DE-SIECLE anomaly, the scorching motorist -

I don't think he'd be missed – I'm SURE he'd not be missed!

And that NISI PRIUS nuisance, who just now is rather rife,

The Judicial humorist – I've got HIM on the list!

All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life -

They'd none of 'em be missed – they'd none of 'em be missed!

And apologetic statesmen of the compromising kind,

Such as – What-d'ye-call-him – Thing'em-Bob, and likewise – Never-

mind,

And 'St – 'st – 'st – and What's-his-name, and also – You-know-who

-

(The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to YOU!)

But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,

For they'd none of 'em be missed – they'd none of 'em be missed!