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SCENE 2. (ACT II, SCENE III)

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Verona. A street.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Launce grieves that he must part with his family to

travel with Proteus, his master. He chastises his dog,

Crab, for not sharing his grief.

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter LAUNCE from stage rear, leading his dog. He ties CRAB to the bench and then sits next to him on the floor.

LAUNCE

I am going with Sir Proteus to the imperial’s court. I think Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, our cat wringing her hands, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear: he is a very pebble-stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog. Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it. This shoe is my father. This shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother. I am the dog; no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog,—O, the dog is me, and I am myself. Now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother; well, I kiss her; why, there ’tis; here’s my mother’s breath up and down. Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor speaks a word: but see how I lay the dust with my tears.

Enter SPEED from stage rear.

SPEED

Launce, away, away, aboard! Thy master is shipp’d, and thou art to post after with oars. What’s the matter? Why weep’st thou, man? Away, ass! You’ll lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.

LAUNCE

It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the unkindest tied that ever any man tied.

SPEED

What’s the unkindest tide?

LAUNCE

Why, he that’s tied here,—Crab, my dog.

SPEED

Tut, man, I mean thou’lt lose the flood: and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage.

LAUNCE

Lose the tide, and the voyage, why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.

SPEED

Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.

LAUNCE

Sir, call me what thou darest. (draws sword)

SPEED

Wilt thou go?

LAUNCE takes leash and starts to walk with CRAB. He falls down because the leash is still tied to the bench, but he gets back up and tries to regain his composure.

LAUNCE

Well, I will go.

LAUNCE unties CRAB’S leash and both exit stage left.

STAGEHANDS remove bench, then place throne center stage, with a chair on either side.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

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