Читать книгу A Modern Chronicle — Complete - Winston Churchill - Страница 14

“SUTCLIFFE MANORS, October 15th.

“DEAREST AUNT MARY: As I wrote you, I continue to miss you and Uncle

Tom dreadfully—and dear old Peter, too; and Cathy and Bridget and

Mary Ann. And I hate to get up at seven o'clock. And Miss Hood,

who takes us out walking and teaches us composition, is such a

ridiculously strict old maid—you would laugh at her. And the

Sundays are terrible. Miss Turner makes us read the Bible for a

whole hour in the afternoon, and reads to us in the evening. And

Uncle Tom was right when he said we should have nothing but jam and

bread and butter for supper: oh, yes, and cold meat. I am always

ravenously hungry. I count the days until Christmas, when I shall

have some really good things to eat again. And of course I cannot

wait to see you all.

“I do not mean to give you the impression that I am not happy here,

and I never can be thankful enough to dear Cousin Eleanor for

sending me. Some of the girls are most attractive. Among others,

I have become great friends with Ethel Wing, who is tall and blond

and good-looking; and her clothes, though simple, are beautiful.

To hear her imitate Miss Turner or Miss Hood or Dr. Moale is almost

as much fun as going to the theatre. You must have heard of her

father—he is the Mr. Wing who owns all the railroads and other

things, and they have a house in Newport and another in New York,

and a country place and a yacht.

“I like Sarah Wycliffe very much. She was brought up abroad, and we

lead the French class together. Her father has a house in Paris,

which they only use for a month or so in the year: an hotel, as the

French call it. And then there is Maude Capron, from Philadelphia,

whose father is Secretary of War. I have now to go to my class in

English composition, but I will write to you again on Saturday.

“Your loving niece,

“HONORA.”

The Christmas holidays came, and went by like mileposts from the window of an express train. There was a Glee Club: there were dances, and private theatricals in Mrs. Dwyer's new house, in which it was imperative that Honora should take part. There was no such thing as getting up for breakfast, and once she did not see Uncle Tom for two whole days. He asked her where she was staying. It was the first Christmas she remembered spending without Peter. His present appeared, but perhaps it was fortunate, on the whole, that he was in Texas, trying a case. It seemed almost no time at all before she was at the station again, clinging to Aunt Mary: but now the separation was not so hard, and she had Edith and Mary for company, and George, a dignified and responsible sophomore at Harvard.

Owing to the sudden withdrawal from school of little Louise Simpson, the Cincinnati girl who had shared her room during the first term, Honora had a new room-mate after the holidays, Susan Holt. Susan was not beautiful, but she was good. Her nose turned up, her hair Honora described as a negative colour, and she wore it in defiance of all prevailing modes. If you looked very hard at Susan (which few people ever did), you saw that she had remarkable blue eyes: they were the eyes of a saint. She was neither tall nor short, and her complexion was not all that it might have been. In brief, Susan was one of those girls who go through a whole term at boarding—school without any particular notice from the more brilliant Honoras and Ethel Wings.

In some respects, Susan was an ideal room-mate. She read the Bible every night and morning, and she wrote many letters home. Her ruling passion, next to religion, was order, and she took it upon herself to arrange Honora's bureau drawers. It is needless to say that Honora accepted these ministrations and that she found Susan's admiration an entirely natural sentiment. Susan was self-effacing, and she enjoyed listening to Honora's views on all topics.

Susan, like Peter, was taken for granted. She came from somewhere, and after school was over, she would go somewhere. She lived in New York, Honora knew, and beyond that was not curious. We never know when we are entertaining an angel unawares. One evening, early in May, when she went up to prepare for supper she found Susan sitting in the window reading a letter, and on the floor beside her was a photograph. Honora picked it up. It was the picture of a large country house with many chimneys, taken across a wide green lawn.

“Susan, what's this?”

Susan looked up.

“Oh, it's Silverdale. My brother Joshua took it.”

“Silverdale?” repeated Honora.

“It's our place in the country,” Susan replied. “The family moved up last week. You see, the trees are just beginning to bud.”

Honora was silent a moment, gazing at the picture.

“It's very beautiful, isn't it? You never told me about it.”

“Didn't I?” said Susan. “I think of it very often. It has always seemed much more like home to me than our house in New York, and I love it better than any spot I know.”

Honora gazed at Susan, who had resumed her reading.

“And you are going there when school is over.”

“Oh, yes,” said Susan; “I can hardly wait.” Suddenly she put down her letter, and looked at Honora.

“And you,” she asked, “where are you going?”

“I don't know. Perhaps—perhaps I shall go to the sea for a while with my cousins.”

It was foolish, it was wrong. But for the life of her Honora could not say she was going to spend the long hot summer in St. Louis. The thought of it had haunted her for weeks: and sometimes, when the other girls were discussing their plans, she had left them abruptly. And now she was aware that Susan's blue eyes were fixed upon her, and that they had a strange and penetrating quality she had never noticed before: a certain tenderness, an understanding that made Honora redden and turn.

“I wish,” said Susan, slowly, “that you would come and stay awhile with me. Your home is so far away, and I don't know when I shall see you again.”

“Oh, Susan,” she murmured, “it's awfully good of you, but I'm afraid—I couldn't.”

She walked to the window, and stood looking out for a moment at the budding trees. Her heart was beating faster, and she was strangely uncomfortable.

“I really don't expect to go to the sea, Susan,” she said. “You see, my aunt and uncle are all alone in St. Louis, and I ought to go back to them. If—if my father had lived, it might have been different. He died, and my mother, when I was little more than a year old.”

Susan was all sympathy. She slipped her hand into Honora's.

“Where did he live?” she asked.

“Abroad,” answered Honora. “He was consul at Nice, and had a villa there when he died. And people said he had an unusually brilliant career before him. My aunt and uncle brought me up, and my cousin, Mrs. Hanbury, Edith's mother, and Mary's, sent me here to school.”

Honora breathed easier after this confession, but it was long before sleep came to her that night. She wondered what it would be like to visit at a great country house such as Silverdale, what it would be like to live in one. It seemed a strange and cruel piece of irony on the part of the fates that Susan, instead of Honora, should have been chosen for such a life: Susan, who would have been quite as happy spending her summers in St. Louis, and taking excursions in the electric cars: Susan, who had never experienced that dreadful, vacuum-like feeling, who had no ambitious craving to be satisfied. Mingled with her flushes of affection for Susan was a certain queer feeling of contempt, of which Honora was ashamed.

Nevertheless, in the days that followed, a certain metamorphosis seemed to have taken place in Susan. She was still the same modest, self-effacing, helpful roommate, but in Honora's eyes she had changed—Honora could no longer separate her image from the vision of Silverdale. And, if the naked truth must be told, it was due to Silverdale that Susan owes the honour of her first mention in those descriptive letters from Sutcliffe, which Aunt Mary has kept to this day.

Four days later Susan had a letter from her mother containing an astonishing discovery. There could be no mistake—Mrs. Holt had brought Honora to this country as a baby.

“Why, Susan,” cried Honora, “you must have been the other baby.”

“But you were the beautiful one,” replied Susan, generously. “I have often heard mother tell about it, and how every one on the ship noticed you, and how Hortense cried when your aunt and uncle took you away. And to think we have been rooming together all these months and did not know that we were really—old friends.

“And Honora, mother says you must come to Silverdale to pay us a visit when school closes. She wants to see you. I think,” added Susan, smiling, “I think she feels responsible, for you. She says that you must give me your aunts address, and that she will write to her.”

“Oh, I'd so like to go, Susan. And I don't think Aunt Mary would object—for a little while.”

Honora lost no time in writing the letter asking for permission, and it was not until after she had posted it that she felt a sudden, sharp regret as she thought of them in their loneliness. But the postponement of her homecoming would only be for a fortnight at best. And she had seen so little!

In due time Aunt Mary's letter arrived. There was no mention of loneliness in it, only of joy that Honora was to have the opportunity to visit such a place as Silverdale. Aunt Mary, it seems, had seen pictures of it long ago in a magazine of the book club, in an article concerning one of Mrs. Holt's charities—a model home for indiscreet young women. At the end of the year, Aunt Mary added, she had bought the number of the magazine, because of her natural interest in Mrs. Holt on Honora's account. Honora cried a little over that letter, but her determination to go to Silverdale was unshaken.

June came at last, and the end of school. The subject of Miss Turner's annual talk was worldliness. Miss Turner saw signs, she regretted to say, of a lowering in the ideals of American women: of a restlessness, of a desire for what was a false consideration and recognition; for power. Some of her own pupils, alas! were not free from this fault. Ethel Wing, who was next to Honora, nudged her and laughed, and passed her some of Maillard's chocolates, which she had in her pocket. Woman's place, continued Miss Turner, was the home, and she hoped they would all make good wives. She had done her best to prepare them to be such. Independence, they would find, was only relative: no one had it completely. And she hoped that none of her scholars would ever descend to that base competition to outdo one's neighbours, so characteristic of the country to-day.

The friends, and even the enemies, were kissed good-by, with pledges of eternal friendship. Cousin Eleanor Hanbury came for Edith and Mary, and hoped Honora would enjoy herself at Silverdale. Dear Cousin Eleanor! Her heart was large, and her charity unpretentious. She slipped into Honora's fingers, as she embraced her, a silver-purse with some gold coins in it, and bade her not to forget to write home very often.

“You know what pleasure it will give them, my dear,” she said, as she stepped on the train for New York.

“And I am going home soon, Cousin Eleanor,” replied Honora, with a little touch of homesickness in her voice.

“I know, dear,” said Mrs. Hanbury. But there was a peculiar, almost wistful expression on her face as she kissed Honora again, as of one who assents to a fiction in order to humour a child.

As the train pulled out, Ethel Wing waved to her from the midst of a group of girls on the wide rear platform of the last car. It was Mr. Wing's private car, and was going to Newport.

“Be good, Honora!” she cried.