Читать книгу Taboo 2: - Yoshe - Страница 11

Two days later, in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Rasheed parked his black Range Rover on Halsey Street. He sighed as he thought about the good memories that were near and dear to him. Feeling a little nostalgic, Rasheed gathered up enough strength to walk to the back of his truck and remove his luggage. Listening to the rustling of the tree leaves, he took in the spring air while listening to sounds of the city. The city was so different from the south, and he knew that, after this time, he wasn’t going to trade it for anything. With the exception of his brother, Karim, who he loved more than life itself, his family was in Brooklyn, and this was where he was going to stay.

As he was putting his suitcases on the sidewalk, the door to the house opened. It was his uncle, Kemper Gordon, the youngest son of his grandmother. Rasheed and Kemp were so close in age that they had been raised like brothers. Rasheed always acknowledged the fact that Kemp was his uncle, though, out of respect and admiration for him.

“Yo, what’s good, nephew?” Kemp greeted him with a huge smile on his face. He gave Rasheed a tight bear hug.

Rasheed laughed. He hadn’t seen Kemp in about a year. The last time they saw each other was when Kemp visited Atlanta.

“What’s poppin’, Unc? How you, man?” asked Rasheed.

“I’m good. Can’t you see that?”

Rasheed checked out the expensive pair of Gucci loafers on Kemp’s feet. He nodded while checking Kemp out from head to toe. “I can see that you’ve been doin’ your numbers.”

Kemp helped Rasheed with his bags. “Yeah, a little, but, Rah, listen to me. I got something important to tell you before you go in the house.”

Rasheed stopped in his tracks. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Ma didn’t want me to tell you and Karim because she didn’t want y’all to worry, but she’s dyin’, son. She has aggressive ovarian cancer and it spread. She’s not goin’ to make it. We were goin’ to put her in hospice, but…” As Kemp continued to talk, but Rasheed didn’t hear anything else Kemp said as he walked in the door and stood in the foyer.

He didn’t know whether to be upset at Kemp and his family for not saying anything to him about his Nana, or to be angry at Karim for wanting to keep him in Atlanta. He figured that being angry with anyone was pointless, especially at a time like this.

Rasheed tried to catch his breath. He felt as if he was about to hyperventilate. Kemp followed him inside and went to hug him. Rasheed softly nudged him away.

“Where’s Nana, Kemp?” Rasheed asked with tears in his eyes.

“Rah, look—,” Kemp began.

Rasheed cut him off. “Fuck all of that! Where is my Nana?”

“We just brought her home from the hospital. She’s in her bedroom. Karim will be here in a few days, too. I just called him today to tell him the news. That was when he told me that you were drivin’ up.”

“So why didn’t anyone call me while I was on the road?”

Kemp shook his head. “That isn’t any news to hear while you’re on the road, man. We just wanted you to get here safely.”

Rasheed walked down the long hallway. On the walls, he observed the pictures of their large family. There were pictures of him and Karim in elementary school, old school pictures of his aunts and uncles, including two ten-by-thirteen pictures of his deceased mother, Lavon, and his uncle, Peppy. Rasheed felt his throat tighten up as he thought about Nana, the one woman he loved more than any other woman in the world. She was the woman he loved just as much as he’d loved Lavon Gordon.

He opened the double doors to his Nana’s master bedroom. When their home was being remodeled, the Gordon sons made sure that their mother had upscale sleeping quarters. She had a king-sized, four-poster oak bed, which was sitting on top of a carpeted platform inside of her bedroom. Nana also had a nook area, where there was a small love seat and a thirty-two-inch television mounted on the wall. A beautiful chaise longue was in front of the huge window, and Nana was sitting in it, with a chenille throw wrapped around her frail body. She was still a very lovely woman, even with her bald head and sickly appearance.

Miss Carrie looked up and saw Rasheed standing over her. He kneeled down on the floor beside her. He could tell that she was weak and that any day she was going to take her last breath. She kissed Rasheed’s forehead and he put his arm around her skeletal frame. He instantly began crying.

“Don’t cry, baby,” Miss Carrie whispered. “I lived a good life and y’all have many memories of me. I don’t want you to fret or fuss over me, okay?”

How am I gonna live without you, Nana? Mommy is gone and now you’re dyin’ on me… What am I gonna do? Rasheed thought.

Rasheed wiped his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “But, Nana, you are the only mother I had for the last twenty-eight years! I don’t know no other mother but you! Mommy died and, and…” Rasheed drifted off.

“Rah Rah, don’t do that!” she scolded. “I can’t help what’s happenin’ to me, it’s God’s will. It’s my time, baby. I know that you don’t want me to leave this earth, but, baby, I’m sufferin’, I’m in pain, and the fight is over.”

“Nana, please! You have to fight it.”

“Now, Rasheed, I’ve been takin’ care of you children all my life and I’m sixty-eight years old! Now it’s time for me to be taken care of and God is goin’ to do just that. The only thing that I ask of you is to let me see my great-grandbaby before I leave this earth.”

Rasheed sighed. He didn’t know how he was going to accomplish that last request because he and Sierra did not see eye to eye. His grandmother was not aware that he hadn’t spoken to Sierra in months, and he didn’t have the nerve to call her now just so his Nana could see Messiah on her deathbed. Rasheed didn’t know what he was more afraid of: Sierra’s response to his request, or his reaction if she said no.

“Okay, Nana, I’ll work on that.”

“Please, baby. That’s all I ask of you,” she said while rubbing his face.

Rasheed sat next to his grandmother and watched her until she dozed off. He put the throw across her shoulders and walked toward her bedroom door, looking back at her one more time. His body began to shudder with sadness, and he finally got the strength to turn the doorknob. As he walked down the hallway, Kemp was in the family room, shooting pool. Rasheed collapsed in Kemp’s arms and they both began bawling.

Later that evening, after putting away his things, Rasheed decided to hit the streets. The night was still young and the weather was exceptionally nice. He needed to clear his head.

Rasheed looked at his phone dozens of times, debating whether he should call Sierra. He knew that she had a new life. Any dealings with him would only be a distraction for her, but this was a life or death situation. His grandmother was dying and she had made a request. Now it was his obligation to fulfill it.

Needing a moment to regroup, Rasheed decided to take a ride around the neighborhood that he cherished so much. Rasheed turned down Lewis Avenue and headed toward Hart Street. He was going to ride around to see if he saw any of his old cronies, just to see if anyone wanted to get a drink or two with him.

Rasheed thought about Anwar Jones, who was one of his closest friends. He hadn’t seen his ace, Anwar, since he moved to Atlanta, and he needed to see him now. Maybe seeing an old friend could help lighten the stressful load that he was carrying.

When Rasheed turned the corner on Hart Street, he parked near Roosevelt projects, which was to his left. No one was outside, which was highly unusual. He looked at the time, and it was only 7:00 in the evening. There, he finally found the courage to pick up his cell phone to call Sierra. He silently prayed that the conversation would be smooth sailing. He didn’t need any more stress.

As Keyshia Cole’s “You Complete Me” caller tune played, Rasheed leaned his seat back and waited for Sierra to pick up. He had changed his cell number, so he figured that the number was unfamiliar to her.

“Hello?” answered Sierra. “Hello, who is this?”

“What’s up, Si,” replied Rasheed. “It’s me, Rasheed.”

There was silence on the other end. “Rasheed Gordon?” she said sarcastically with a slight chuckle.

He sighed. It looked like he was going to have to kiss a little ass. Anything for his Nana.

“Yes. It’s Rasheed Hakim Gordon. How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“How’s Messiah?”

“He’s excellent. Oh, yeah, by the way, he’s two years old now. His birthday was yesterday. Remember?”

“Yes, I remember. I wanted to make it here in time but I thought I was goin’ to fly up. I took the drive up instead. Look, I’m not callin’ you to cause any drama, and I really don’t want to bother you, bein’ that you moved on and all, but I’m gonna be in New York for good and I was wonderin’ if—”

Sierra cut him off. “Wonderin’ what, Rasheed? Wonderin’ if you can see Messiah?”

“Yes, that, too, but seriously, Sierra, my Nana is dyin’. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It’s in its last stages and she only has a few weeks to live. Her last request to me was to see Messiah. I mean, this would mean everything to me and her.”

“I don’t know. Let me think about this, Rasheed. You know that you and I aren’t on good terms, and I’m pretty sure your family is not that happy about me keepin’ Messiah away from them for so long.”

“Don’t worry about the rest of my family. This is about Nana. She wants to see Messiah. I have never asked you to do anything that you didn’t wanna do,” he said. Rasheed stopped before he opened old wounds. It wasn’t about him anymore.

“Please, don’t go there! Just let me just think about this. I need a day or so,” Sierra pleaded.

Rasheed was getting impatient. He didn’t understand why Sierra was being so difficult. He already told her that his grandmother wanted to see Messiah before she left this earth. What was her problem?

“Sierra, I’m beggin’ you. I love my son and I do want to see him and have a relationship with him, but before I start doin’ that, can you bring Messiah to my house tomorrow? A day or two to think about it may be too late.” Sierra was silent. “Is it Lamont? Because if it is, he don’t have to know your every move, does he?”

Sierra hesitated. “No, Rasheed. I just don’t want to bring Messiah over there and you start givin’ me problems. You know how you do.”

Rasheed sat upright and pulled off from the corner. “Just bring Messiah to my house tomorrow.”

He listened to Sierra sigh loudly. “Okay, okay. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you very much.” They disconnected the call and Rasheed proceeded down the street. The anticipation of seeing his son had lightened his somber mood. Rasheed hadn’t seen Messiah since he was six months old and couldn’t wait to see how much his boy had grown.

As he waited for the light to change, he saw one of his old comrades from the neighborhood. He decided to pull over and ask the man about Anwar’s whereabouts.

“Yo, Dino, what’s good, son?” Rasheed got out of his truck and gave the well-dressed man a pound.

“What up, my dude? You chillin’?” Dino asked, smiling from ear to ear. “I thought you was in Atlanta. Looked like it did you some good, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, I was down there, but I moved back to New York today.” Rasheed looked around the block.

“Have you seen Anwar around here anywhere, Dino?”

Dino shook his head. “He’s not anywhere around here. Anwar is locked up.”

Rasheed rubbed his goateed chin. “Get outta here! When did this transpire?”

“Um, like the other day. He was supposed to go to court for some bullshit but the judge remanded him and they still got the nigga in there. I think Anwar is doin’ like ninety days for some suspended license shit or somethin’ like that.”

“Do you talk to him?” Rasheed asked.

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, he called me last night. Give me your math and let me give it to him. You got a New York area code, right?”

“Yeah, I got a 347 area code so he should be able to call me with this number.” They exchanged numbers. “What buildin’ is he in?” Dino told him the building and Rasheed shook his head.

“Oh, word?” Rasheed said. “That was my building when I was locked up on the Island a few years ago. He’s probably in Five North, too.” He shook his head. “Damn, I don’t miss that jail shit.”

Dino sucked his teeth. “It’s not funny but we all have been in there. It’s actually kind of sad. One thing I can say though was that Five North was the livest house in that fuckin’ jail. We used to wreak havoc in there, too. I even had a few CO broads checkin’ for me while I was in there.”

Rasheed quickly changed the subject. He didn’t want to engage in any conversation about correction officer women or being locked up.

“Look, Dee, I’m out. Make sure you give Anwar my number when he calls you.”

They gave each other a pound and Rasheed climbed back in the Range Rover. He beeped his horn at Dino as he pulled off.

Rasheed thought about the situation he was about to be in. He had left New York almost three years ago to get away from the negativity, to clear his head and ease his mind. His Nana was on her deathbed and Sierra was already showing signs that she was going to give him problems with seeing Messiah. Now for some reason he knew he had come back home to pure drama, and he was sure that this was only the beginning.