Читать книгу Enjoy, Comprehend, Love. Entering the Spaces of Conscious Love - Yury Tomin - Страница 11

After going through a frantic stage and trials by reality, love enters its new stage – mature love. It can be called the balanced stage of love. All the components of love: passion, intimacy, and awareness are present in the life of lovers in a harmonious combination. That is how the logic of our reflections on the laws of love suggests.

But here it is more difficult for us to illustrate rational considerations with poetic revelations or to appeal to convincing statistics of happy couples. “No wonder,” the thoughtful reader will say, “It all looks like an overly idealized model of love.” The way it is. In reality, all three components of love are too complex, internally contradictory, and paradoxical. This is what we will have to understand in the future. But now that we have an ideal model, we firmly know that we must pay attention to each of them and, if possible, strive for their balance.

For example, talking about awareness of love, we understand that we can only try to get closer to it – and then if we are diligent. There is no lack of skepticism here. Thus, Ortega y Gasset believes that “reason and freedom are only a thin shell of our being, which in itself is not rational and not free. Even ideas we get ready-made and formed in the dark, bottomless depths of the subconscious.”

Meanwhile, being in love and mature love differ markedly in the degree of arbitrariness in the expression of feelings and actions in relation to a partner. Of course, it cannot be said that in mature love there is only a rational choice of certain manifestations of feelings. The act of will here is not the result of a cold mind’s decision. Rather, it is synchronization of various internal energies, as a result of which we seem to say to ourselves: “I welcome this feeling to be with me.” And the main feature of such a decision of our consciousness is its absolute freedom. Mature love is a new attractive state into which we enter and which no longer contradicts any aspect of the Self being in the ascending stream of life.

Being in love and mature love can be harmoniously connected, and nevertheless, the difference between these states is manifested in many shades of feelings and experiences. Innokenty Annensky says about this in the poem Two Love:

Having talked about love with poets of different eras and styles, summarizing the discoveries of thinkers close to us in spirit and armed with the model of ideal love, we will try to return and again ascend this peak in a different way – along the paths laid according to all the rules of scientific thought.