Читать книгу Lone Star Holiday Proposal - Yvonne Lindsay - Страница 9

Three

Another time? Did he mean to ask her out on a date? Raina wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that. She hadn’t dated since Jeb—hadn’t even been interested in dating as she came to grips with his betrayal, single parenthood and running a business. It had been a painful irony that she’d been duped by the person she’d thought would stand by her, exactly as her father had been.

She had never known her mother and pictures of her had been few and of poor quality. Raina’s enduring memory of the woman who’d borne her was the story of how she’d come home from the hospital with Raina, put her in her bassinet and gone out to buy some milk and never returned. Growing up, Raina had always had more questions about the whole situation than answers and, in retrospect, she could understand why she’d been drawn to the losers.

Despite all the security and love her father had poured into her, Raina’s sense of self-worth had been low. She’d found herself desperate to be accepted by others, only to be walked all over again and again. Jeb had been the last in a string of disastrous relationships, and when he’d cleaned out her bank account while she was in labor with his son, she’d finally learned her lesson—and with it, who she was and where she belonged in her world. Now, she was at peace with her decision to focus her energies on JJ and provide a home for them. She finally, at the sage old age of thirty, felt grown up.

Her friends still teased her about her dating moratorium but she’d avoided all potential setups they’d thrown her way. And in the aftermath of the tornado, it had made far better sense not to get involved with anyone. Life had become incredibly precious and despite her need to nurture and to try to “fix” broken souls, aka the losers she’d dated previously, she’d had to draw a line somewhere.

But a date with Nolan Dane? He was nothing like the guys she’d been out with before. He owned a suit, for a start, and showed the kind of manners her father had always told her to expect from a man.

She looked across the table and noticed that JJ had made short work of his sundae and was now rubbing his eyes and fidgeting in his booster seat. She glanced at her watch—a 1920s timepiece she hadn’t been able to bring herself to sell after she’d discovered it in a boxed lot she’d bought at an estate sale a couple of years ago. If she didn’t get on her way soon, she’d be running late for the sitter and for her class.

“This has been lovely,” she said, gathering her bag and searching for her wallet. “But JJ and I really must get going. Thank you for joining us.”

“No, thank you for your company. Please, let me get this. It’s the least I can do for crashing your dinner together.”

“Oh, but—”

“Please, I appreciated having someone to talk to over my meal.”

Before she could say anything, Nolan left several bills on the tabletop, including a generous tip, and helped JJ from the booth.

“Are you parked far away?” he asked as they walked toward the exit.

“No, not far. A block.”

“Let me walk you,” Nolan said, falling into step beside her on the sidewalk outside the diner.

“Mommy, up,” JJ interrupted, and he lifted his little arms in the air.

“Sure, sweetie,” she said, bending to lift him into her arms.

She wouldn’t be able to keep this up for too much longer. JJ was getting so big and most of the time she had trouble keeping up with her energetic wee man. The fact that he wanted her to carry him spoke volumes about how tired he was. She reminded herself to cherish these moments while they lasted.

They were halfway down the block when she had to readjust JJ’s weight in her arms.

“He looks heavy,” Nolan commented. “Can I carry him for you?”

“No, it’s fine, I can manage,” Raina insisted, even though her back was starting to ache a little.

“Man carry me, Mommy.”

JJ squirmed in her arms, almost sending her off balance.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked Nolan.

In response, Nolan effortlessly hefted her son from her and propped JJ on one hip. “Of course not.”

At the car, Nolan waited on the sidewalk while she strapped JJ into his seat.

“Thank you for dinner, and for your help with JJ. You didn’t have to,” Raina said as she straightened from the car and held her hand out to Nolan.

He took it and again she was surprised by the sizzling jolt of sensation that struck her as his hand clasped hers.

“Honestly, the pleasure was all mine,” he replied, his eyes locked on hers.

She found herself strangely reluctant to let his hand go and Nolan seemed to feel the same way, but then a group of people coming along the sidewalk forced them apart. Thankful she could disengage before things got awkward, Raina gave him a small wave and settled herself in the car.

Her hand still tingled as she reached forward to put the key in the ignition. It had been a long time since she’d felt anything like this at a man’s touch. As she drove away, Raina made herself keep her eyes on the road in front of her. She wouldn’t look back. Looking back only invited trouble, she told herself, and she’d had bushels of that already in her life. No, she’d promised herself to keep moving forward the right way, and that didn’t involve complicating her life with a relationship or fling with someone who was passing through.

* * *

Nolan watched from the sidewalk until he couldn’t see Raina’s taillights any longer. Why had he done this to himself? he wondered as he hunched deeper into his jacket and began to walk back to his hotel. Carrying JJ had brought back a wealth of hurt and repressed memories of his own son, Bennett.

Holding another small body in his arms...it had been a more bitter than sweet experience. He reminded himself very firmly that using her for information about the Winslows was one thing, but he was in no way embarking on any kind of friendship with Raina. It would be too easy, he knew that. He was already attracted to her, already felt that surge of physical awareness every time she smiled or her gaze met his. From the moment he’d laid eyes on her he’d been drawn to her and he’d been unable to get her out of his thoughts.

Being there in the Royal Diner with Raina and JJ had felt too much like his old life. The life he’d vowed he would never turn back to. No, his home was Los Angeles now. Royal held no allure for him anymore even though everything here still felt so achingly familiar.

He acknowledged the doorman at the hotel with a smile and went straight to his room. It was early. Any other time he’d have stopped in the bar and had a drink. Maybe enjoyed a bit of casual female interest before heading to his room—or hers. The mobile nature of his role as Rafiq’s personal attorney gave him leeway in his life that he’d never allowed himself before and while casual hookups had never been his style, a man had needs—and clearly the women he’d met had needs, as well. But while those encounters may have left him physically sated, there always remained an emptiness deep inside him.

His thoughts flickered back to Raina Patterson. She was definitely not the type for a casual hookup. She exuded stability and comfort. A man could fool himself that he belonged in the softness of her arms, but only until he broke her heart by leaving again. Nolan promised himself he would not be that man.

He threw himself on the bed and reached for the TV remote. Maybe he’d be able to numb his mind and his awakened libido by watching some mindless sitcoms or movies until he was ready to sleep. But distraction was a long time coming that night, and he couldn’t stop his mind wandering back toward the woman who’d so captured him.

* * *

Raina was glad she’d taken the time to prepare the workroom before she’d left Priceless earlier that day. JJ had been surprisingly clingy when she’d left him at home with the sitter, making her wonder if their company over dinner had unsettled him. It had certainly unsettled her.

Her students began to arrive, right on time, and once everyone was there and introductions were complete, Raina started the lesson. She’d decided to keep it simple for the first session, changing the style of the candles each week as they carried on. She smiled as she made eye contact with one of JJ’s previous babysitters. Hadley Stratton was only a couple of years younger than Raina and had a delightful way with children.

“Okay, ladies, thank you all for coming along tonight. I see you all received my email with the instructions for preparing for this evening’s lesson. Does anyone have any questions so far?”

Hadley spoke up. “You said we could dye the egg shells, but what if we could only get brown eggs?”

“No problem,” Raina assured her. “You can choose to keep your candles in the shell and decorate the shells, or you can break the shell away after the candles have set and simply burn them in a container—like an eggcup or something like that. It’s entirely up to you.”

“I’m so brain dead after nannying all day and studying all night that I think I can only go as far as filling a shell. Is that okay?” Hadley laughed. “Maybe I can leave decorating to another lesson.”

Several other women joined in with Hadley’s laughter, obviously empathizing with her. Raina nodded in acknowledgment.

“How many of you would prefer to decorate or color?”

About half the women in the room put their hands up.

“Okay,” Raina said. “How about we split into two groups for tonight? Decorators this side of the workroom, and plain beeswax candles on the other.”

The women good-naturedly shifted around and, after showing the group doing plain candles how to start the process of melting their beeswax, Raina discussed with the group of decorators how to dye their egg shells or hand paint them with freestyle or stenciled designs. As everyone set to work, Raina began to feel a sense of excitement. The lesson was really going well and the atmosphere was both lighthearted and creative at the same time.

She stopped by Hadley’s table for a minute, while making the rounds of the class to check that everyone was on track.

“It’s good to see you, Hadley. We miss you.”

“I miss you guys, too. But you know what it’s like balancing everything.”

“You always make everything look so effortless when you’re with kids. You should really have some of your own one day,” Raina teased with a friendly smile.

Hadley laughed out loud, drawing attention and several smiles from the people around her. “I’ve got so much on my plate right now I’m quite happy to put that off for a while longer. Besides, there’s the important prerequisite of finding the right man for the job, y’know?”

Raina felt her smile slip a little, but she knew Hadley hadn’t meant anything by her comment, that she hadn’t been referring to Raina’s poor choice of partner in Jeb.

“You make sure he’s the right one, then,” Raina said, with a light touch on Hadley’s arm.

“Don’t you worry, I will. When the time is right. In the meantime, at least I have your classes to look forward to on Tuesday evenings. This is about as far as my social life extends. Getting to spend time with other adults and relax and unwind is like gold to me right now, plus I get to make some cute Christmas gifts at the same time. What more could a woman want?”

With a murmur of agreement, Raina moved on to her next student. Hadley was right. What more could a woman want than to be surrounded by people she enjoyed being with and doing something creative? Even so, Raina felt an unexpected yearning that pulled from deep inside. She wanted that “right one” in her life one day. The man who would be her partner in everything and help her to guide JJ on his path in life. Right now, while JJ was small and so dependent on her, it was easy to imagine that she’d be able to cope forever. But sometimes she wished for more. For herself, as well.

Nolan Dane popped immediately to mind and Raina quashed a startling swell of desire as adequately as she was able. This was ridiculous. She’d only met the man today and she was already spinning a tale of happy ever after in her mind? Clearly she wasn’t busy enough with her life already. Pushing all thoughts of men to the back of her mind, she went to assist one of her students with the placement of her candle wicks.

By the time the class finished, everyone was proud of their results—Raina most of all. Not only had she successfully pulled off tutoring her first official craft lesson, but everyone had commented how much they were looking forward to returning the following week when they’d be making mason jar candles filled with oil. Some were even talking about classes in the New Year and how they’d like to bring other friends along.

When everyone had cleaned up and gone, and Raina had locked up, she drove herself home. After paying the sitter and checking on JJ, she decided to run herself a luxurious deep bath. She’d earned the hot soak, she decided as she stripped and pulled on a robe while waiting for the bath to fill. In fact, she’d earned a celebratory glass of wine to go along with it. After a quick trip to the kitchen she was soon back with a glass of merlot. She disrobed and lowered herself into the soothing water.

Everything was going to be okay, she told herself. While the antiques business was a little slow in getting off the ground again, she knew it wouldn’t take too long before her old customers would discover her new location. A bit of careful advertising across the county would help, and now, with the popularity of the craft classes, as well, she could afford to place those advertisements. She took a sip of her wine and allowed the mellow flavors to roll across her tongue before she swallowed.

Yes, everything would be fine from now on. She and JJ wouldn’t want for anything. Or anyone.

Later, as she readied for bed, she checked her phone for messages. She’d turned it off during her class and hadn’t gotten around to turning it back on yet. A bit of the shine of happiness from the evening’s success dulled when she saw she had another missed call from Jeb and that he’d left another message. Her finger hovered over the button to simply delete the message, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she listened and felt her happiness dull a little more.

“Rai, c’mon, babe. Call me back. I really need some money fast. I know you’re good for it. Look, this is pretty urgent. Call me.”

Raina closed her eyes in frustration. When would she ever be rid of the man? She’d taken all the legal steps she could to have sole custody of JJ, so she knew the little guy was safe from his father. But what would it take for Jeb to leave her alone?

Stop giving him money. The words echoed in her head as clearly as the last time her father had uttered them to her. Not for the first time she wondered why she continued to help her ex. It wasn’t because she still bore any love for him. That had died long ago. Was it because she felt beholden to him because of JJ? No. She’d made the decision to go ahead with raising him, knowing it was unlikely that Jeb would provide any support. Maybe it was just because, despite herself, she couldn’t help but reach out when she knew a man was down. Her father had often teased her about her need to make everyone happy and feel safe. The thing was, if she kept helping Jeb, when would he ever learn to stand on his own feet and accept some responsibility for everything that happened in his life?

She came to a decision. This ended here and now. She’d no longer be Jeb’s cash cow or his go-to person. She deleted the message and shoved her phone in her purse and climbed into bed. Let that be an end to it, she thought as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.