Читать книгу The Complete Boardroom Collection - Джанис Мейнард, Yvonne Lindsay - Страница 33

ELEVEN

Every one of Scott’s words hit Toni like a slap across the face and she flinched as though he had struck her.

She felt instantly overwhelmed by what had happened a year ago on her birthday.

An event which she had pushed firmly away as past history.

Her breath caught in the back of her throat and she gasped at the sudden flash of memory. Pain surged through her and she collapsed down on the hard wooden chair, her legs like jelly and unable to take her weight. Suddenly she felt sick and tearful and pathetic.

‘You are wrong, Scott. I do know. Because exactly the same thing happened to me.’

‘What are you talking about? How can the same thing have happened to you? Have you ever been married?’

‘No. But I had a boyfriend who I trusted and cared about more than I should. We were together day and night for almost three months working on a documentary in France together. I thought I knew him and that he loved me and wanted to be with me. I was wrong. About both of those things.’

‘No—’ Scott started to speak but she held up one hand ‘—let me finish.’

She had to get it out and explain or she would go mad.

‘I had worked like crazy for weeks to finish the filming and editing before the deadline and it still wasn’t done. Peter was doing the networking and keeping the client happy; I was working the cameras. We were a great team. Then he asked me to help him out. He had been invited to a family wedding and really wanted to be there but that was going to be impossible unless we finished the final studio work that week. Could I help him by finishing it on my own? Then we could meet up back in London in time for my birthday that weekend.’

Toni dropped her head back. ‘Of course I said yes. He was my boyfriend. I would do anything for him. I worked for forty-eight hours straight to make the deadline. And it was great work.’

She sniffed and gave a low laugh. ‘The problem was, it was so good that the client offered me a free ride back to London on the company jet. Fantastic, I thought. I’ll pop around to Peter’s apartment and drop off the equipment then take a day’s holiday to sleep. But something weird happened on the flight. The client asked if I could get hold of the talent agent for Peter’s girlfriend. He had completely forgotten to ask Peter and they were looking for a lingerie model for another campaign. They were such a handsome couple!’

A low chuckle turned into a half cry. ‘I started to tell the client that he was wrong and that I was his girlfriend but suddenly things started to click together in my mind. The fabulous clothes in Peter’s wardrobe which he claimed belonged to his sister who used the apartment. The telephone calls he took at all hours of the day and night from clients. And the texting. The constant bloody texting, day and night. It all made sense.’

Her voice faded away. ‘There was no family wedding. That was just an excuse that he had made up to get rid of me. Peter was having a clothes optional dinner for two with his Brazilian girlfriend when I turned the key and walked in on them in the shower.’

Even moistening her lips could not make the words come any easier.

‘I am sorry. I had no idea.’

‘Why should you? I keep these things to myself,’ Toni replied. ‘He used me because I was convenient and trusting and I fell for it. That hurts and it never completely goes away, does it?’

His answer was a small shake of the head.

Toni closed her eyes and luxuriated in the warmth of his body pressed against her side and, without thinking of the consequences, she leant sideways against him, daring to push the boundaries that they had set in the bedroom.

His left arm snaked around her waist and Scott drew her even closer to his body.

She could feel the pounding of his heart under his smart blue shirt as she pressed her fingertips to the soft fabric which separated his skin from hers, only too aware that one thin layer of mightily creased cardigan wasn’t perhaps the best outfit she could have chosen to rescue smoke-damaged documents. She must stink of smoke.

Strange. Somehow, that didn’t seem important any longer.

Who was she kidding? Scott meant more to her than any man she had ever known. She had never told anyone about that day. Not even Amy knew the real truth. Until this week she would never have thought it possible that she could forge so powerful a bond to this amazing man and feel that friendship and connection back in return.

Peter had been her lover and her colleague and for a few idyllic and heady months in one of the most romantic cities in Europe she thought that they had a future together. But, looking back, she knew now that Peter had never been her friend. Real friends didn’t use one another.

‘Tell me what you need me to do,’ she whispered. ‘I have to go back to work in a week but I have loads of pals who would be happy to help. We can bring a team in and start the clear-up. We can turn this place around in a week. You wait and see.’

She could stay this way for ever and not regret it. But, just as her head lolled back against the chair, she sensed his mood change, as though someone had opened the window wider and allowed a cool breeze into the room.

His arm slid away from behind her back and he moved, just an inch, then more, and their bodies slid apart, slowly at first then swiftly as Scott stepped sideways and bent over the paperwork on the table.

The shock of being separated was like a physical blow to Toni’s poor heart. But it was the look on Scott’s face that truly startled her as he turned to face her.

Desire, anguish, self-reproach and unmistakable desire. For her.

She had not been mistaken after all.

The way his hand had started to seek hers when they were out, the way she caught him looking at her when she least expected it, and the kiss on the roof terrace the night before had been real. The gentleness of his mouth on the nape of her neck which turned her legs to jelly had meant as much to him as it had to her.

And she didn’t know whether to grin and shout in glee while she had the chance, or be patient and let him take the lead.

This was why, when he did speak, the words he used touched her heart and made it weep.

‘A week? You think we can clear up this mess in a week? Somehow, these past few days I had forgotten that you have your own life and another job. Oh, Toni.’

His finger stroked her cheek from her temple down to her chin. ‘I can’t do this, Toni. I thought a fling was what I needed—hell, what we both needed. But you’re a lovely woman and any man would be honoured to have you in his life and we both know that I will be back in Alaska in a few months. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us to make promises we can’t keep. No matter how much we would like things to be different. You should go back to your work and make it the success it deserves.’

Well. That answered her question.

Two choices. She could accept what he said and let him go with a smile on her face or she could do something mad and challenge him.

Just the thought of not having Scott in her life sent a cold shiver down her back. He was hers and nobody else’s. And she hadn’t even realized that until this moment. She didn’t want to lose Scott Elstrom. She couldn’t lose him, not now, not after all they had shared together.

She wanted Scott and she wanted him badly enough to fight for him.

‘Can’t do what, Scott? Be friends with me? Like me and want to spend time with me? Want to hold me in your arms? Is that what you can’t do, Scott? Please tell me the truth because I’m starting to get confused by what your body is telling me and the words coming out of your mouth.’

Before Toni realized what was happening, Scott had crossed the few steps that separated them and had wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, his fingers working into her hair as he pressed his mouth against hers, pushing open her full lips, moving back and forth, his breath fast and heavy on her face.

His mouth was tender, gentle but firm, as though he was holding back the floodgates of a passion which was on the verge of breaking through and overwhelming them both.

She felt that potential, she trembled at the thought of it, and at that moment she knew that she wanted it as much as he did.

Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around his back and leaned into the kiss, kissing him back, revelling in the sensual heat of his body as it pressed against hers. Closer, closer, until his arms were taking the weight of her body, enclosing her in his loving, sweet embrace. The pure physicality of the man was almost overpowering. The movement of his muscular body pressed against her, combined with the heavenly scent that she knew now was unique to him alone.

It filled her senses with an intensity that she had never felt in the embrace of any other man in her life. He was totally overwhelming. Intoxicating. And totally, totally delicious.

And, just when Toni thought that there could be nothing more pleasurable in this world, his kiss deepened. It was as though he wanted to take everything that she was able to give him and without a second of doubt she surrendered to the hot spice of the taste of his mouth and tongue.

This was the loving warm kiss she had never known. The connection between them was part of it, but this went beyond friendship and common interests.

This was a kiss to signal the start of something new. The kind of kiss where each of them was opening up their most intimate secrets and deepest feelings for the other person to see.

The heat, the intensity, the desire of this man was all there, exposed for her to see when she eventually opened her eyes and broke the connection. Shuddering. Trembling.

Then he pulled away, the faint stubble on his chin grazing across her mouth, as he lifted his face to kiss her eyes, brow and temple.

It took a second for her to catch her breath before she felt able to open her eyes, only to find Scott was still looking at her, his forehead pressed against hers. A smile warmed his face as he moved his hand down to stroke her cheek.

He knew. He knew the effect that his kiss was having on her body. Had to. Her face burned with the heat coming from the point of contact between them. His heart was racing, just as hers was.

‘Is that the way you usually silence women who ask you tough questions?’ Toni asked, aiming to keep her voice casual and light as she tried to catch her breath. And failing.

He simply smiled a little wider in reply, one side of his mouth turning up more than the other, before he answered in a low whisper. ‘I save it for emergencies. And for when I need to answer tough questions.’

Scott pulled back and looked at her, eye to eye. ‘You have to know that it is killing me to even think about leaving you here when I head back to Alaska, but that is where I belong. Freya will be back tomorrow to help me with the cleaning and organising the media companies and she’s happy to do it, but she doesn’t need me, Toni. There is no work for me here. You deserve a lot better than a part-time lover.’

He was nuzzling the side of her head now, his lips moving over her brow and into her hair as she spoke. ‘Do I? I think that is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.’

‘And I mean every word. Your life is here, where you have a brilliant future as an artist and photographer. I can see it now.’ His hand scrolled her name in the air. ‘Portraits by Antonia Baldoni. It is going to be magic. Who knows, I might even come and have my photograph taken.’

‘No need, Scott. I have all the photographs in the world. But they don’t come close to the real you.’

Scott rested his forehead on her for one more second before he stood back and held out his hand. ‘It’s been a delight working with you, Miss Baldoni. Good luck in your future career.’

Then he turned and strode away from her, back to the second floor and the sound of sawing wood and drilling. Leaving her sitting there in her smoky clothes and hair with a broken heart. Bereft and alone. And already missing him more than words could express.