Читать книгу Ultimatum: Marriage / For the Sake of the Secret Child - Yvonne Lindsay - Страница 13

“I told you I was pregnant, didn’t I?” Alicia said gloomily. “You should have been prepared.”

“Should have been is definitely the operative figure of speech here.” Jake gripped her elbow and hurriedly propelled her out of the doctor’s office building into the parking lot.

It was nearly one o’clock and the heat was searing. Cars whizzed past them on the busy street.

“I didn’t realize how much I hoped you were wrong about this,” he said, moving to the street side of the walkway to shield her from the traffic.

With an effort, she tried to ignore the sting of his words. She’d hated the way he’d barely looked at her or the doctor, the way he’d barely said a word during the office visit. The instant the doctor had confirmed Alicia’s fears, Jake’s tanned face had hardened into a stony mask. No matter how the doctor had attempted to get him to open up, he’d rebuffed her every question. The only sign of life in Jake’s set face now was the fiery turbulence in his grim blue eyes that hinted at the inner battle raging inside him.

“You certainly put on a happy face in the doctor’s office,” Jake muttered. “I couldn’t believe all the questions you asked the doctor, like this is a normal pregnancy and we are a normal, happy couple.”

“I’m not exactly happy,” she whispered, warier of him because of his dark mood. “But I wish I was. Just as I wish you could be, too. Any child deserves parents who want him—even ours.”

“Hell.”

“I can’t help it if I want our child to be wanted and have a normal, loving childhood. Any mother would.”

“Even a mother who despises the father of her baby?”

But she didn’t despise him. She’d liked having him with her at the doctor’s office.

“Do you want me to lie to you and your doctor about how I feel?” he continued. “Where will we be if we lie to each other about everything?”

“Where will we be if we concentrate on nothing but how much we hate each other all the time? How can we build on that?”

“What the hell could we possibly build?”

“A positive world for our child.”

“I’d say we’re off to a damn poor start then.”

“Which means we have nowhere to go but up,” she said in a whimsical voice that thankfully was too low for him to hear.

“What?”

Unable to deal with his hostile attitude, she said in a louder tone, “Thank you for at least meeting me here. I really do appreciate it. I was sick again this morning. I wasn’t so sure there for a while I’d ever be able to get out of the house.”

Her gentle, polite approach calmed him, if only a little.

“I’m sorry you were sick again. It was my idea for you to see a doctor first thing, remember? The least I could do is show up.”

“Believe me, some men wouldn’t have bothered.” Like her father.

Jake opened her door of his large, black SUV for her, and she got in. “Fasten your seat belt,” he ordered. He waited to make sure she did so before walking around to get in too. Why was his concern about even that small detail such a comfort?

She hated that his doing so registered on such a profound level with her. She was so eager for happiness she grabbed anything positive.

Once he was behind the huge wheel, the woodsy scent of pine, cypress and smoke enveloped her. Strangely, despite the heat, it didn’t make her feel the slightest bit sick as some scents did. In fact, he smelled so good, she couldn’t resist glancing at him out of the corners of her eyes.

He was so tall and broad shouldered. A lock of dark hair fell across his brow. Why did he have to be so attractive even when he wasn’t trying, like now? When he wanted no involvement with her? Dark stubble shadowed his hard jaw and chin and made him look incredibly masculine. He hadn’t had time to shower or shave or even to change out of his jeans before their appointment. Shadows ringed his eyes.

He’d obviously been in such a hurry to pick her up and rush her to the doctor’s office, he hadn’t bothered about himself at all.

“You look tired,” she said, feeling too much unwanted sympathy for him. Yet, even exhausted, he was so virile and utterly male that some feminine, idiotic part of her wanted to swoon over him, despite knowing he probably considered her his enemy.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he muttered as he leaned forward and started the SUV. He turned on the AC. “Lumpy, stinky mattress. Hot night, too. Couldn’t stop thinking about stuff.” He shot her an accusing glance and she wondered if concern for her had kept him from sleeping.

He adjusted the air-conditioning. “Is the air okay?”

She nodded.

“What about you? I mean besides the morning sickness.” He turned away and pretended to watch the traffic. “You okay? You don’t look so perky yourself.”

“Couldn’t sleep either.” Not that she was about to admit to him that she’d tossed and turned because she’d been longing for him all night—because his nearness made her feel safe and secure in ways she’d never known in her whole life. Which was ridiculous, considering the situation.

When his dark head swiveled in her direction, she shyly turned. Under his scowling gaze, her lungs froze.

Suddenly she couldn’t breathe. Why did being so close to him in his big vehicle make her so nervous? Why didn’t he just drive them home so they weren’t trapped in such a small space together with emotions they couldn’t deal with? At least on the way she’d have scenery to distract her from him. Now she felt as overwhelmed by him as she had that first night.

“I … I still can’t believe this has happened,” she said in a low quiet tone.

“I felt like that at first, I mean when Dr. Preston confirmed your fears, but the reality is sinking in pretty fast. You and I are going to have a baby—whether we want it or not. The question is what are going to do to resolve this situation?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“Oh, I bet you have.” His deep voice darkened. “You came running to me first thing in need of money, didn’t you?”

“No! That’s not it. I—I don’t want my baby to be illegitimate, that’s all.”

His dark head jerked toward hers, his blue eyes piercing her. “That’s all? Surely you’re not talking about—marriage?”

She bit her lips and swallowed.

“About you and me … being together … in some sort of permanent arrangement. It’s not like this is a hundred years ago and your father’s going to follow me down the aisle with a shotgun between my shoulder blades,” he said. “Hard to do that under house arrest.”

Could she help it if she saw things so simplistically? Every time a teacher at school had asked her to draw a picture of her family, she’d always drawn a mommy and a daddy and herself in the middle.

“You don’t actually see us as a couple, do you?” he said.

She shook her head because he so obviously wanted her to. “Look,” she said, “I guess I just panicked and thought when I felt so sick that I couldn’t do this alone. Maybe I would have been stronger before … but now … I have no money. No allies. No family really … other than Daddy, who’s been indicted.”

“And you’re so used to money, you don’t know how to get by without it.”

“My life hasn’t been what you think. I don’t believe I have any friends left in Louisiana. Everybody here blames me for what they think Daddy did.”

“Because of what he did! And what you helped him do in all probability. Whose fault is that?”

“Right. You think I schemed to steal millions of dollars from Houses for Hurricane Victims and his bank? And that I deliberately set out to destroy your good name?”

“Well, your father damn sure did, that’s for sure.”

“I think my father’s innocent.”

“Then where’s the money he managed? Why can’t we find any records to prove he ever invested a single dollar? Maybe you don’t know how the charity world operates, so I’ll fill you in on a little secret. At the first hint of scandal, all future funding dries up. So now poor families, who were counting on me to build them homes, won’t get them. Because of my close association to the charity, funding for my architectural projects is drying up as well. It would be financial suicide for me to associate myself with you right now. And now you want me to marry you?”

“The government has been investigating him for the past six weeks, and so far they’ve found nothing to link me to any of it. Doesn’t that tell you anything about me? I never volunteered for that organization. I never worked at Daddy’s bank or the shipyard either.”

“Maybe you’re good at covering your tracks.”

“Or maybe I’m innocent. I was an editor and a writer.”

“I wasn’t born yesterday. You got that job because of your father’s connections.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe you’re a taker like your father. Maybe you came to me yesterday hoping I’d help you financially.”

“Is everything really just money to you?”

He leaned toward her. “How dare you ask me that?”

“Then what about our child? I want our baby to have his or her father’s name … and his love, if that’s possible. Your love. That’s very important to me. Do you want to play a role in his or her life, or not?”

He was silent.

“Because if you don’t, one of my oldest and dearest friends lives in London. Her name’s Carol Lawton, and when she heard about my problems, she offered me a job in a publishing firm over there. It would mean leaving Louisiana …”

“No!”

“You wouldn’t have to stay married to me for very long to give him his name. You could even tell people why you had to marry me.”

“No. I couldn’t do that.” He hesitated, his gaze sweeping her. “So, what kind of theoretical marriage do you imagine we could possibly have? Hell, the only plus we have going for us is that we’re great together in bed.”

“No sex,” she asserted in a low, breathy rush.

“What? You expect me to tie myself to you without even that as a fringe benefit?” He stared through her. “What about you? After the way you kissed me yesterday, are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Who are you kidding? You ran off to the swamp yesterday because you couldn’t take the heat from that kiss. Our marriage should be about the baby—not us. I, for one—definitely—don’t think we should complicate our confusing situation with more sex.”

“Definitely?” The edges of his tense mouth relaxed. “You sound so … er … determined.”

She wished. Who was she kidding? Jake had such a devastating effect on her, she wondered if she’d be able to resist him if he chose to exploit that weakness some night when she was feeling particularly lonely and unloved.

“So, we’re talking about a marriage of convenience. Doubtless, you’ll demand a sizable settlement when we split up?” he said.

“No settlement.”

“Right. A Butler who isn’t after my money. What a refreshing development.”

“I’ll sign a prenup if you want me to. If you help me find a job somewhere … or help me get started in London, that would be wonderful. We … we wouldn’t even have to live together while we’re married either. I just want the baby to feel his father wanted him.”

“So, no sex and no settlement, huh?”

“I told you, this isn’t about sex or money. It’s about what’s best for the baby. I grew up with all the money in the world, but …”

“But with a real bastard for a father, who never gave a damn about you. Poor little rich girl.”

“Please … don’t run him down.” She stopped, feeling bleak at the dark feelings his words too easily stirred within her. Her childhood with her father may have been loveless, but that didn’t mean she could bear other people sitting in judgment of him. Especially not now when he was under house arrest and she herself was uncertain as to his guilt of innocence.

Turning away so he wouldn’t read the longing that welled up inside her, she watched a happy young couple leave the medical building. They were laughing and holding hands. When they reached their battered, compact car, the man pulled the woman into his arms and kissed her fervently. Maybe they, too, had learned they were going to have a baby—only they were both thrilled.

Color me green, she thought.

Watching them, too, Jake stiffened. “Sorry … for what I just said about your dad,” he said in a gentler tone.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “Our marriage would hardly be a fairy tale with the promise of happily-ever-after like we both dreamed we might know with someone we would have freely chosen some day. And believe me, my father won’t be happy about any of this when he finds out.”

“If you’re determined to get married, we live together,” Jake growled.

“Why—when you didn’t even want to spend the night with me last night?”

“Who the hell knows? Maybe because I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. As long as you’re my wife, I’ll keep you close so I can keep an eye on you. Besides, who’ll look after you if I’m not around?”

Against her better judgment, at this softer sentiment her heart warmed to him a little.

“My house is big,” he said. “You can use the bedroom downstairs that you slept in last night. I’ll live on the second floor just like always. But while we’re married, you’re to have nothing to do with your father.”

“But Jake ….”

“That’s nonnegotiable. I don’t trust him or you—and I especially don’t trust the two of you together.”

“But, he’s been arrested. He’s alone and in trouble. I know how that feels. I can’t just turn my back on him.”

“No involvement. So long as you’re my wife, you’re not to associate with him. Not even a phone call. You’re to stay away from his trial, too. Do you understand me?”

She turned and stared mutely out the window at the cars speeding by beyond the parking lot. What if her father was innocent and she deserted him?

“Do you want to marry me or not?” Jake demanded, hard finality in his voice.

Uncertain, she froze. Finally she nodded. “But only for the baby’s sake.”

He frowned. “Then you’ll agree to stay away from him while we’re married?”

“Yes,” she whispered in a tone that was so faint it was nearly inaudible.

“There can be no other men in your life while we’re married.”

“What?” she murmured, feeling crushed that he thought her so low. But then, all he knew was that she’d made love to him the first night she’d met him. How could he possibly realize how special he’d been, how profoundly connected she’d felt to him?

“Since our marriage will upset a lot of people, including my clients and employees, I want it to appear respectable. I don’t want to give the press or your numerous enemies anything extra to chew on. So you’ll have to agree not to be seen out with other men.”

“Of course,” she said quietly even as anger began to bubble inside her. “What about you, Mr. High And Mighty? Will the same rule apply to you?”

“I will abide by the same rule—for the same reason.”

“Not out of any loyalty to me. But then, why should you feel the slightest loyalty? You don’t want to marry me any more than I want to marry you.”

“Maybe we’re finally beginning to understand each other. Will you be faithful?”

“I said yes already!” she snapped. “Did you really spend the night alone last night?”

He smiled. “So you care a little, too?”

She shook her head much too vigorously, because his quick white smile, the beautiful smile that had seduced her, broadened, causing her blood to heat.

“Were you really alone?” she persisted, furious at him for being so attractive to her just because of a smile and at herself for being so susceptible to his virile brand of sexiness.

“I was. So, when you’re my wife, a wife who, for the record, refuses to sleep with me, will you expect me to answer questions like that if I choose not to come home some night?”

“Look … I shouldn’t have asked about last night. Forget I did it! I don’t care what you do ….”

“Okay.” Grinning, he held up his hands in a gesture of mock innocence. “But just in case you do care … a tiny bit … I spent the night alone like I said. I was in a houseboat in the swamp behind Belle Rose that I told you about. The only time I left it was when I built a fire on a muddy bank and cooked out.”

“What did you cook?”

“A squirrel. There’s not much to a squirrel. So it was a long, hungry night spent alone.”

She frowned. “You killed a little squirrel?”

“I threw my knife. He died in a flash.”

“I can’t believe you’d be so cruel!”

“What? Do you think I like killing animals? I like to eat. Do you think you’re morally superior because your meat comes in plastic-covered packages in the grocery store?”

Unable to refute his logic but not liking the thought of him eating a helpless, little squirrel any better than she originally had, she began to twirl a strand of her hair and fume as she stared into the distance.

“Look, I had to get away,” he said. “Firing everybody … you showing up saying you might be pregnant … was too much for one day. I didn’t want to be with you … or any other woman. I know it sounds unusual, going off alone into the wilderness on the spur of the moment, but it’s something I do fairly frequently when I need to chill. I’ll probably do it again during our marriage—if we’re married any time. Happy now?”

“I wish.”

“Okay. Back to the plan. We marry. At some point after our child is born, we go our separate ways. No settlement. Just custody arrangements.”

“Fine,” she agreed, feeling dismal at that prospect.

“That’s all you really want?”

“I don’t want any of this!”

“You wanted me that night,” he reminded her.

The memory of it, plus the knowledge that she still wanted him, was not her favorite fun fact.

“You knew how desperate I felt that night … because my father had just told me he was caught in a credit crunch and was on the verge of losing everything, including the bank, if the merger between his shipyard and Claiborne Energy didn’t work out.”

He nodded.

Knowing that she’d had a date with Logan that night to his grandfather’s eightieth birthday, her father had ordered her to do everything in her power to charm Logan and lull his suspicions that anything might be amiss with the Butler empire. But Logan had been interested only in Cici.

“I felt shy that night at Belle Rose when Logan abandoned me to dance with Cici. I didn’t know anyone. Then you started smiling at me from across the room. I smiled back and you came up to me and were so nice, I began to enjoy myself and open up. When you said you were involved with my father in that charity, I told you how worried I was about him. I had no idea you were planning to gang up with Hayes Daniels and accuse him of all those crimes or that maybe the only reason you took an interest in me was to get more information out of me.”

“I wasn’t planning anything. I had no idea your father was guilty of anything that night. Cici simply wanted to spend time with Logan, and she asked me to take care of you. Hayes didn’t clue me in about Mitchell until the next morning. But after the credit problems you’d hinted your father was having, I thought you must have known everything your father was doing and that you were involved. So I was furious at you for deceiving me … and seducing me. I thought maybe you did all that in an effort to buy my silence where your father was concerned. I called you because I wanted to give you a chance to defend yourself. When you wouldn’t take my calls, I took that to mean you were guilty.”

She hadn’t answered the phone because she’d thought him the most treacherous human being alive for seducing her to gain information about her father.

“I was very lonely that night, too,” he said. “Being with my family always makes me feel like I don’t know my place in the world. Then Logan abandoned you. And you were very, very beautiful.”

She blushed, feeling shyly pleased.

“You weren’t what I was expecting,” he said. “I thought you’d be more like your father but you were nothing like him. You swept me off my feet, as you probably know.”

Had he felt the same incredible rush of thrilling excitement in her presence she’d found in his? She wanted to believe that so much.

“Later I wondered if you’d been setting me up,” Jake said, killing the softness she’d been feeling toward him. “What about this pregnancy? Did you get pregnant on purpose? Maybe to buy me off?”

“You have to know I didn’t. I would never deliberately bring a baby into a mess like this! You seemed so nice that night, and idiot that I was, I trusted you enough to confide in you … and sleep with you.”

He stared into her eyes for a long time.

“Okay,” he muttered as he finally put the SUV into gear and pulled out into traffic. “Okay.”

“The morning after we slept together my father called me and told me about the missing money from the Houses for Hurricane Victims. He said you took it, and that you set him up.”

“Well, I didn’t. So do you always believe everything your father says?”

“I try to see his side of things … because he’s my father and the only parent I have left.”

“Look,” he growled, “I was nice to you that night because … Hell, I already told you why ….” He swore under his breath. “If I’m already damned in your eyes, why should I bother to defend myself?”

After that final question, the thick silence that fell between them grew increasingly strained.

Her mind drifted, and she remembered all too well how Jake had coaxed her to confide in him their first night together. He’d pretended to listen to her fears concerning her father and to understand; pretended to care about her, and, she, as always, too eager and made happy by any kindness, however small, had ended up in his bed.

But not before she’d told him too much. Pretending sympathy and passion after her confidences, Jake had soothingly kissed her mouth, her face, her throat, her breasts, until he’d made her feel safe and breathless with desire for him.

“It’s going to be all right,” he’d whispered in a kindly tone. “Dark moments are part of life. They teach us lessons we need to learn.”

Soon she’d been clinging, longing for more than his compassion. Forgetting her father and his troubles, she’d begged Jake to make love to her and he’d complied, showering her with all the warmth and passion she’d craved.

Then the next morning Jake had gone out. Later her father had called her and cruelly informed her that the merger was in trouble—and that Jake Claiborne, along with Hayes Daniels, Logan’s CEO, had joined forces and reported him to the feds.

Her father and his bank and shipyard had gone down in flames, and Jake was at least partially responsible. Every time she’d thought of how she’d bared her soul and given her body to a man who’d spent the night with her, maybe to milk her for information about her father she’d felt freshly used and humiliated. She’d told herself she shouldn’t ever see Jake again or even take his calls.

Not so easy when he’d continued to call her and all her friends had cut her dead.

Most of the time she’d ignored his calls, but once when he’d phoned her after some particularly vicious stories about her had filled the Internet and newspapers, she’d actually wanted to hear his voice so much she’d answered. They’d soon quarreled, but she’d had the feeling he’d been concerned about her. Then she’d seen him at Logan’s wedding. Not that they’d spoken.

She forced her mind back to the present and their new reality. Jake was driving so fast, she was clutching the armrest while houses and strip malls flew by in a blur. When they reached his sprawling home, half a dozen reporters’ vans were still lined up in front of his house.

Van doors popped open and reporters rushed toward his SUV as he swerved into his drive. Ignoring them, Jake drove the large vehicle slowly toward a gate that opened electronically and then shut behind them, locking out the invasive horde.

In his garage Jake cut the engine and turned slowly to face her. “Okay, you told me what you want and what you think about me, didn’t you?”

“I guess,” she replied.

“So, here’s what I want out of this disastrous affair. First, we involve as few people as possible in our little scheme. I don’t want my grandfather hurt. I’m not on the easiest terms with Logan or his new wife, Cici, so the less they know about this, the better. My grandfather’s lonely. I don’t want him forming an unsuitable attachment to a woman I don’t plan to keep in my life any longer than necessary.”

“But he was so friendly to me at his party. Do you really want me to be rude to him?”

“Be polite but cool. In case you didn’t realize it, you’re natural at that role.”

“Thanks … for nothing,” she whispered.

“Not for nothing, sweetheart. I agreed to marry you, didn’t I? For me—that’s a big step.”

“For me, too,” she said.

His weary expression told her he didn’t believe her. “You … proposed.”

“Not because I wanted to,” she flared.

“So—I guess the next step is to plan our wedding. Are you up to that or do you want me to get Vanessa to handle it?”

As a child her mother had let her decorate for all her parties. Excitedly they’d cut out cardboard stars and glued glitter on them. They’d hung posters and sent out invitations. Once her mother had rented ponies and Alicia and all her friends had ridden in the back yard. But after her mother’s death, the celebration of Alicia’s birthdays, when remembered, and of the important milestones in her life had always been planned by her father’s employees.

No way was she going to let her wedding, such as it was, be planned by Jake’s office staff.

“I’ll plan it,” she whispered, hurt beyond words that he’d suggested such a thing even though she knew her feelings were utterly illogical.

Pregnancy. Hormones. A marriage of convenience to Jake. She was definitely in for a roller-coaster ride.