Читать книгу The Little Shop of Afternoon Delights: 6 Book Romance Collection - Jane Linfoot, Zara Stoneley - Страница 17

Any minute now she’d have her answer.

Three different pregnancy tests sat in a row on the marble counter top in the en-suite bathroom of Maggie’s hotel room. She’d used a pink one, a blue one, and one that gave the result in words – “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”.

Which would it be? Maggie was desperate to know. She’d been a little bit afraid to find out until Alex persuaded her to go for it. He was too funny offering to trade her a whale-watch for an A-list weekend in New York. Was he serious? Who wouldn’t want to be his date? Or, in her case, not-a-date.

He’d been sweet tonight. They were getting into the swing of this just-good-friends thing, like they were going back to square one. It felt good, really good. Except the kiss had been a blip. It wasn’t just the Jago factor, she fancied the pants off him, and if she went to New York, she might not be able to help herself, she might end up tearing his clothes off.

Awkward.

She’d buried her feelings for him years ago, but she and Alex had an unfinished fling between them, and she couldn’t be sure of sticking to her own rules. What if she actually wanted him to try out some of those dodgy vampire moves after all?

Impossible to avoid her reflection in the vast bathroom mirror, she looked into it and gave herself a wicked little smile.

Some rules are made to be broken.

She checked her watch. Two minutes to go. She lowered the lid on the toilet and plonked herself there, picking at the purple varnish on her thumbnail as the seconds counted down. When the time was up she carried on picking.

There was a lump in her throat as if she’d swallowed a bar of hotel soap. Why was she doing this?

She wanted a baby because she wanted to put everything right that had been wrong in her own childhood. As a little girl she’d learned to fade into the background, being good, keeping quiet, trying not to be a nuisance. She didn’t ask too many questions. The answers hurt too much. Deep down she knew that she’d been rejected by her mother because she reminded her of her dad. She looked at Maggie and saw Sam, and if she couldn’t have Sam, she didn’t want Maggie. She’d overheard her mother say so just days before she left. Standing outside the kitchen door she’d watched through a crack while her mother ripped up photos, her face tear-blotched. “Why does she have to look just like him?” she’d spluttered at Maggie’s grandmother. “I don’t see any Plumtree in her at all. She’s got his eyes, his hair, his smile.” She’d sounded cross, exasperated that her daughter had failed to be a mini version of herself. “She’s arty like he was – a useless, head-in-the-clouds, fly-by-night … Why couldn’t he stay alive? He didn’t even do that much right!”

Maggie’s sense of cold confusion was stamped on her memory. With a sperm-donor dad there was no danger that she’d ever end up so angry and disappointed with her own child. She was ready to be the mum she wished she’d had. For her it would be better without the mangled emotion of loving the baby’s dad.

A wave of nauseous panic hit Maggie. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the test results. She needed a friend to look for her and tell her yes or no.

There was nothing else for it. She grabbed all three of the tests. Looking away and keeping her hand firmly over the result windows, she opened the bathroom door and marched into the bedroom.

Alex was standing by the window, staring out into the night. He turned to look at her, six foot plus of awesome man with the bluest eyes she’d ever seen.

“So?” Silence. “And?” Silence. “Please, Maggie. Don’t keep me in suspense.”

Silence. Maggie closed her eyes and stretched her arm out to him, fingers still wrapped around the test windows. Silence.

“I can’t look.”

Alex took her hand gently in his and unwound her fingers. “Would you like me to look for you?” His deep voice made her nerves jangle all the more.

“Yes please.” Face unattractively contorted, she opened one eye, and kept the other scrunched closed.

“Ready?” He was still holding her hands in his, balancing the clutch of tests in their joined fingers as if they were as delicate as eggs.

“Uh-huh.” She opened the other eye. “Ready.”

Silence.

“Well?”

“You’re having a baby!” He rumbled out the gravelly words on a breath.

“I am? Are you sure?”

“Look for yourself.”

She clutched the sticks and stared. Sure enough: blue lines, pink lines and the word “Pregnant” in clear black letters.

“Should I do another one just to make sure? I’ve got one that shows up a plus or a negative sign. It might be more scientific.”

“You don’t need a control test. You’ve done three already. There’s no doubt about it. You’re pregnant.”

Maggie’s emotions had gone from panic and fear to disbelief, and finally pure joy.

“Oh my stars. This is fantastic. I can hardly believe it’s happening. I’m pregnant.” She beamed. “I’m having a baby.”

“Yep. It says it right there. You’re going to be a mom.”

“Wow. It’s all I’ve wanted for the longest time. A real family of my own.”

“Cool.” His voice had turned to a solemn rasp. “It’s great. Well done, Maggie.” It felt like he was going to pat her on the back, or shake her hand, or something. She wanted to hug him, but she held back.

“You can kiss goodbye to sleep. And sex. Oh no, wait a minute.” He clapped a hand to his forehead theatrically, “Silly me. You already did that.”

Why couldn’t he say he was pleased for her?

“I’m not a nun,” she retaliated. “I just knew The One wasn’t going to happen for me. And I didn’t want to have a baby with someone who might end up losing interest and walking away from his child. A dad who’s not in the picture at the moment of conception can’t walk away because he was never there in the first place.”

She didn’t add that she wouldn’t have to look at her growing child and see the face of someone she’d loved and who didn’t love her back, see someone whose very existence made her ache because she spoke, moved, laughed like him and made her cry because everything about her reminded her of someone she wanted to forget. That’s how it had been for her mother. That’s why she’d run away.

“Listen, about New York. I didn’t mean to pressurize you. If you’re not up for it, it’s fine.”

“I’ve thought it over.” Maggie jumped in before he could get another word out. “I’ll have to pass on the fancy cocktails.” She made a sad face. “But, if the offer’s still there, I’d love to come. I haven’t taken time off to do something fun for months. And now that I know – for sure – I feel like celebrating. It’ll be lovely. I haven’t got the foggiest idea what to wear, but I can figure that one out – there’s time. And fashion’s what I do, right?”

“It certainly is.” His lips curved into a super-sexy smile. “I can make a couple of calls. Between us we should be able to guarantee that you’re red-carpet-ready.”

“You know what this means?” Alex looked straight at her, his eyes unguarded, the black pupils reminded her of two dots under puzzled question marks. “You’re still up for watching whales, aren’t you? We had a deal.”

“Sure,” he croaked.

“I need to go to bed. I don’t like to throw you out, but I really need to sleep.” She stood on tiptoes in front of Alex, leant up and brushed her cheek against his hard jaw line. Mmm. “Goodnight,” she breathed against his ear. “And thanks, Alex. I really appreciate that you were here tonight, for this.” She pressed the palm of her hand against her flat stomach. A new life was forming inside her.

He walked to the door and looked back over his shoulder before turning the handle. He was the same gorgeous guy he’d been when he’d walked away without a backward glance. And she’d let him go, heavy-hearted that he hadn’t phoned. Her emotions were all over the place. She had to say something.

“I’d no idea how badly I needed a friend.”

Alex stopped, walked back to Maggie, pulled her into his arms and gave her the biggest, warmest, loveliest hug. “See you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait.” Suddenly he was gone. There was an empty space where he’d been. And a whole heap of happy in her heart. She was in the best mood ever. Excited, and a teeny bit scared. Experiencing both feelings together was bewildering – and wonderful. She’d done it. She’d created her designer baby.

She sat down heavily on the end of her bed. Alone. Until about a minute ago she’d been elated, so sure that this was what she wanted. And it was. She was going to be a mum. A single mum. Unlike tonight she’d have no one to share this with. She’d thought she was prepared but now that Alex had gone and reality was kicking in, a seed of trepidation at what she’d planned for her future sowed itself in her soul. She might turn out to be just like her mother, unable to hack being a single parent. She steeled herself. She’d made this choice and she was determined to make it work. She had something to prove.

The high speed catamaran flew along, heading out to sea. The waves were still choppy from the stormy weather. White-crested, every so often the boat would hit a big one, showering the deck. The perky guide, a marine biologist, filled the passengers in on pertinent cetacean facts until they reached the place where the whales usually hung out, and the skipper cut the engine.

Amused at having Jago from Mercy of the Vampires as her new best friend, Maggie was getting used to the interest Alex generated – and the curious looks people gave her. Normally, she didn’t get noticed. It was her job to make other people stand out from the crowd. Clients appreciated her neutrality. Unobtrusive, all her creativity went into her projects.

The epitome of male beauty, Alex was amazing. And so were the whales. At first she didn’t think they’d see one. They scoured the grey sea, watching, waiting, and suddenly, before the marine guide had even spotted it, Alex saw one off the port bow.

He pushed his dark glasses up onto his head. “Look!” He stood behind her and pointed, guiding her eyes with the direction of his arm. The other hand rested on her shoulder. A zing of pleasure zipped through her body. “Over there.”

The whale’s slick back was clearly visible.

“Wow!” she gasped.

“Amazing,” Alex admitted.

“Now you know how it feels.”

“Are you suggesting that when people recognize me it’s like they’re seeing a whale for the first time?”

She tilted her head to look him in the eyes teasingly. “Something along those lines.”

He smiled in that breath-stealing way of his. Her heart did a somersault. The roll of the ocean, seeing whales in their natural environment, and sharing the whole experience with Alex was too cool.

The boat rolled on a big wave and she lolloped sideways. She automatically grabbed onto him to steady herself. “Easy does it.” His arms closed around her from behind, holding her firmly. He drew her securely against his body. A column of masculine muscle, his gentle strength felt fantastic. She shivered, despite being wrapped in fleece and waterproofs. “Cold?” He lightly rubbed her arms and massaged her shoulders.

“Brrr. Yes, kind of.” It wasn’t exactly true, more a frisson of sweet, spine-tingling desire. It was hard not to be attracted to him. For flip’s sake, Alex Wells had to be the hottest friend any girl ever had.

He’d been her ordinary friend before he’d been her famous friend. She struggled to hang onto that fact. It was great that they’d got past the embarrassing blip of their disastrous night in bed together. It had been struck from the record – any glimmers of attraction were hiccups, a bi-product of the celebrity thing. Except, who was she kidding? Even allowing for the Jago factor, that kiss on the beach had been hot heaven.

The whale surfaced and gave a blast from its blow-hole. The whiff turned Maggie’s stomach. It was like sharing an elevator with an appallingly flatulent being who’d been overindulging in a bout of extreme dietary indiscretion involving seafood.

Alex took a picture on his phone. He caught Maggie, looking greenish, at the very moment when the whale went into a dive. Its body an arc, the dorsal fin stood out clearly in the background.

“Glad you came?” she asked, when they’d stopped laughing about the dodgy smell and how awful she looked in the picture.

“Very.” His deep voice ignited little flames of heat. His strong arms closed around her again, keeping her steady on the shifting ocean. Leaning against all that muscle felt delicious. The friends thing was becoming more of a conundrum every minute. She was a smidge out of control – all those overactive pregnancy hormones whizzing around her system. “How are you feeling?” he asked. “Has it sunk in yet?” Close against him, her limbs brushing his, he felt like a very sexy bodyguard.

“It’s starting to.” The mention of her pregnancy brought her back down to earth. “It’ll take a bit of getting used to.”

They’d been having a chilled-out day – apart from the hot fire that crackled through her when his body connected with hers, that is. All of a sudden his mood darkened. His jaw clenched and the blue glimmer in his eyes clouded, greyed like the sea and the sky all around them.

“You’ve made a brave decision.” A muscle flickered in his cheek. He’d turned into an iceberg. “Choosing to become a single parent can’t have been easy.”

Over the tannoy the guide enlightened passengers with some stuff about whale tail markings. Maggie’s head swam. Was she missing something? What was she not getting? He’d gone all serious.

“It’s complicated,” she admitted. “I know my grandma could be a bit of a dragon at times, but it was only because she loved me to bits. She was my substitute mum and dad, rolled into one all-purpose package.”

Alex shrugged. “She didn’t think you should trust men. I guess she had her reasons.”

“It turned out she was right.”

Alex drew in a deep breath, then exhaled, long and slow. His arms released her and she grabbed onto the handrail to keep her balance on the choppy sea. He looked down, glowering at the water. “I didn’t exactly help. Leaving like I did. Not calling you.”

The boat rolled, lifted and dropped by the movement of the ocean. Maggie felt as if she’d been slapped in the face with a cold clump of wet seaweed. Did Alex think he was the reason she was going it alone?

“We let each other go. If we’d talked, we might have made things harder for each other.”

Alex reached out and squeezed her shoulders. She’d have had to tell him she was in love with him, and he’d have had to tell her that he wasn’t coming back. They might have started putting the kind of pressure on each other that ends up with people hating each other. Leaving a good-luck message and fading away was easy. She distanced herself from people because she didn’t believe that she was worth sticking around for. Her mother hadn’t thought she was worth staying for. Why should anyone else?

“Back then I needed to put Nick first.”

“There wasn’t a part for an extra,” she joked. “It’s okay. I understood.” Alex running off to join the metaphorical circus in LA hadn’t been the clincher. She didn’t need to be an astrologer to predict that he’d have left her eventually. Still she’d remained cautiously optimistic on the boyfriend front. She had a tendency to cut guys loose before they got close enough to dump her first, but generally speaking she’d hoped to find The One someday. Until Marcus.

“I wouldn’t have gone for the part of Jago if Nick – and our mother – hadn’t begged me to. They made it impossible to say no.”

“I know.” Maggie stared at Alex’s granite face. Shoulders hunched, head hanging, he didn’t look up. Tabloid fodder, rumors abounded that Cassandra Wells had used shameless nepotism to guarantee that her sons landed the parts of the vampire twins. That must have been hell for Alex, but it was years ago. They’d more than proved themselves in the decade since.

“I couldn’t let Nick down. He wanted it badly. And I went along for the ride. Now that it’s all over, he thinks I regret the last ten years.”

Alex’s hands grasped the guardrail. Relieved that they’d strayed onto safer ground than why she was having a baby on her own, Maggie placed one hand over his taut knuckles.

“I want to explore the things I might have done if Mercy of the Vampires hadn’t happened. Nick resents that. According to him, there’s no going back, only forward. He thinks I should use the popularity of the show as a springboard. That’s what he plans to do.”

“Seems like six of one and half a dozen of the other, if you ask me.” Maggie squeezed his hand. “If you want to retrace your steps in order to move on, why shouldn’t you?”

“Nick doesn’t believe I can go back to zero.”

“Maybe he’s got a point.” She nudged him with her elbow, attempting to lighten the mood. “I mean, look at me. What am I if not a scene in your rear-view mirror? Right?”

He raked his gaze over her. “I wouldn’t put it quite like that.”

They both laughed. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of Mercy. It’s been an amazing success. You should be proud.”

“It’s hard to be proud when my own father called it the ‘naffest thing on the goggle box’. He hates it.”

Maggie breathed out a long, shrill whistle. “Harsh!” She whooshed her chipped purple nails through the air. “It’s sour grapes. Didn’t I read somewhere that he’s starring as a sci-fi villain? That’s not exactly Richard III!”

Maggie didn’t get Alex and his family. He was devoted to Nick, even though they were behaving more like their on-screen characters than real-life brothers. Why couldn’t he agree to disagree with Nick about there not being any more mileage in Vampires? And why was he so eager to please a father who did nothing but put down his work? As families went the Wells made her “one parent, one baby” plan look positively idyllic.

“Nick and I have been at each other’s throats since Mercy ended.”

“Maybe you’re being unfair on him. The show might have started out more his thing than yours, but if you hadn’t been into it, it would have shown. There’s no way it would have lasted ten years.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he admitted, his tone mock-grudging, “Without Jago, I’d have been lucky to get a walk-on in Hamlet.”

“Or Rosencrantz. Or Guildenstern. If you were really lucky,” Maggie teased.

“And that’s only maybe, on a good day, with the wind in the right direction, and all the stars in my horoscope perfectly aligned and shining down on me.”

Maggie giggled. “I read the horoscope on the plane.”

“What did mine say? That I’m not destined to play a vampire forever?”

“I think it said something cryptic about Saturn’s life-changing energy.”

“Thank you, Mystic Maggie. What about yours?”

“Mine said I should prepare for an encounter with my destiny.”

A deep chuckle erupted from Alex’s throat. “Well, you encountered me. Only I’m not your destiny. It’s not in my stars to play a part in anyone’s destiny but my own.”

Her heart plummeted. Inappropriately gutted, she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why. She wasn’t expecting anything from Alex. A quirk of fate had brought them together, but they’d be going back to their real lives soon enough. She’d return to the world outside his celebrity bubble, resume her place as a plankton speck he’d hung out with before he’d landed the top spot on a gazillion hottest bachelor lists.

The spark she’d felt from his kiss on the beach was all about the feelings she’d once had for him. He’d left her floating on air like a party balloon. None of it meant a thing. Acting was his job description. Friends would be fine for him because there’d never been any danger of him seeing her as anything more. For a few whimsical minutes at Cape Cod they’d slipped back like a couple of characters from a time-travel drama. In reality, there’d be no going back. Only forward.

“Anyway,” he said, breaking the sudden silence. “You don’t need to know what’s in the stars. You know what you want and you’re making it happen.”

Wasn’t that what he was doing? It bothered her that he was so sure he’d never find The One. She had Marcus to thank for that, but she only had to open her eyes and look around to see that Alex could have lovely women queuing around the block to share his life. She didn’t really want to know, but deep down she couldn’t help herself.

“Haven’t you ever come close to meeting Miss Right?” she quizzed.

“A soul mate?” He gave a bitter laugh. “You’ve got to be joking.” As soon as it was out there she felt bad for asking. Just like her mother and her grandmother’s imperfect love lives, Alex’s parents’ marriage hadn’t been a match made in heaven. Still before Marcus had shattered her hopes, she’d remained optimistic about love, so why should Alex let Drake and Cassandra spoil his chances of happiness? “The One is a flawed concept. Isn’t that what you said?”

“Well … yes … but,” she stumbled over her words, not wanting to confess all about Marcus.

“Here’s the thing.” He swept a hand through his hair. “True love in Hollywood doesn’t really exist. It’s a fiction like practically everything else that happens there. Take Nick and Ella Swift, for example.”

“That’s not fake?”

“Sure it is. Nick’s love life is a publicity stunt. And Ella’s a willing accessory.”

“Oh, I see.”

“No, Maggie. I don’t think you do see. Nick and Ella are a publicist’s dream. Being seen out and about at the right places with the right people? Great. Everyone’s happy. Get papped at the wrong place with the wrong person?” He hesitated, frowning. “Well, actually, that can be good publicity too. It depends.”

“It’s not an exact science?”

“Precisely. And it makes any kind of meaningful relationship impossible.” He stared at the horizon. “It does for me, at any rate.” He stood tall, dark and steadfast, sea spray flying in his face. Her heart lurched. She stumbled and grabbed tighter onto the handrail. Alex put a steadying arm around her. Their bodies swayed together with the heaving waves. “If you must know,” he said quietly. “There was someone. Rachel. She was a hand model. And a jewelry designer. And a cocktail waitress.”

“I like the sound of Rachel.”

“Yeah. You’d have liked Rachel. She was a bit like … Well, yeah.”

“What happened?”

“We were together for about a year. She moved in with me. Her picture started to appear in the tabloids. It freaked her out. She didn’t like it. The final straw came when I was on location in Europe filming a perfume ad. The press announced our engagement.” He choked out a sarcastic laugh. “It was news to both of us. She went nuts. Said the papers knowing more about her life than she did was intolerable.” Tension rippled through his shoulders. “By the time I got back to LA she’d moved out. She didn’t want to talk about it. She ended it by text.”“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Alex smiled. “It turned out the only part of her she wanted to share with the world was her hands. And who could blame her?”

“You always did hate publicity. It must make things difficult.”

“Not everyone hates it. There was the TV executive’s daughter. She let me wine and dine her until she found a bigger fish to fry. She loved the spotlight so much she kept a scrapbook. Go figure! And then there was the voiceover artist who begged me to get her a role in Mercy.”

“Did you?”

Alex nodded. “Uh-huh. She dumped me very loudly in her made-for-cartoons voice the day she walked on set…” He mimicked the actress squeakily as if he’d been messing about with helium. “And got several column inches to show for it.”

Maggie clapped her hand to her mouth to stifle her giggles. “Oh Alex. I’m sorry.”

“You’re smirking behind that hand. Admit it.”

“Only because you made the voice-over girl sound so funny.”

“It’s alright for you. You’ve never had your heart broken.” He laughed, and it rang hollow. There was silence from Maggie. She looked away, her mood cool. Alex reached out and touched her chin, gently turning her head to face him. “I’m an idiot,” he said, his eyes fixed on hers. “That’s what this is all about. This ‘having a baby by yourself’. Someone hurt you.” The dawning of her reality shadowed his face. “What happened?”

“I met someone,” she confessed. “His name was Marcus. He took me over and organized the life out of me. He had a five-year plan. It was all mapped out. He had a spreadsheet.” Alex winced, but he didn’t say anything. “I know.” She nodded, acknowledging that it was kind of wrong, not her thing at all. “The thing is – I thought I was happy. We got engaged on schedule, we were going to get married, have kids. The whole package. It was going to be perfect. Note – going to be.” She’d been blind to the fact that it actually wasn’t. “One day I walked into our flat and found him in bed with someone. They had wine.” She pictured the scene in her mind as she spoke. “And candles, and there were torn-off clothes all over the floor.” She coughed. Her voice had gone hoarse because she was having difficulty getting the words out. “I was a twit. The first thing I did when I walked in the door was pick up a ripped-off button from the carpet, and I was thinking, “What’s going on?”” She paused, wondering why she was telling him this, and unable to stop now it was out there. “It was as if the floor fell away from beneath me.” Her world had disintegrated. Instead of swishing her hand through the air, she curled it into a fist so tight the nails dug into her palm. “Poof.” She uncurled her fingers. “My future vanished in a puff of smoke.”

“Just. Like. That.” Alex appeared indignant on her behalf. “When did this happen?”

“About three years ago. A month or so before my grandma died,” she said sadly. “The irony of it! She’d been happy for me. She thought I was going to break the Plumtree women’s run of bad luck with men with Marcus. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she’d been right all along.”

“Oh, Maggie. I’m sorry.”

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t tell anyone at the time. Not even Layla.”

She’d kept it in – pretended everything was fine. When Marcus was a no-show at the funeral, she’d had to say something, so she’d crossed her fingers against the white lie and told everyone that they’d had a mutual parting of the ways.

Alex steered her into the shelter of the cabin. They sat close together in silence, huddled on a wooden bench. On the way back to Boston, going into the wind, the boat thrashed against the waves. The real storm was in Maggie’s heart. If she’d kept her distance, she could have done the styling job and left. She’d been captivated by Alex. She’d reacted to him like they’d been apart ten days, not ten years. Now he’d rumbled her. She’d fessed up about Marcus and she felt certifiably stupid. Again. Just like the day she’d walked in on him and his lover.

“I know you saw something in him you loved.” He spoke softly, his jaw hard set, every facial muscle tight. “You’ll have to forgive me, Maggie, but I think he was a tosser. He wasn’t right for you. He was the wrong one.” He stared at the grey sea. “The guy for you is still out there.”

“If he is,” she laughed, “he’s keeping himself well hidden.” Concealed below the surface, like a whale. She smiled brightly up at him. What she’d liked most about Marcus was his sense of certainty, right down to the spreadsheet with their future on it. Only, as it happened, he wasn’t certain about the one thing that mattered – love. He’d pleaded for a second chance, called the affair a hiccup. For Maggie his hiccup was non-negotiable. She’d rather have no love than a watered-down, unfaithful version. “Anyway, I don’t need a man. He’d just get in the way. I’ve made plans.”

If she played her cards right she could make the most of the opportunity that had landed in her lap when Alex had invited her to New York. It was high time she got noticed. She’d do her utmost to sparkle on the red carpet – in a little black dress, naturally. She loved being a behind-the-scenes person, but Alex gave her the confidence to believe that she could be more. She wasn’t a rejected child any longer. Or a cheated-on fiancée. She could dare to come out from the shadows where she’d learned to hide.