Читать книгу Thirty Years Among - Dead Carl Wickland - Страница 17

Doctor Tell us who you are. We are interested in all spirits who are in darkness. Tell us how long you have been dead.

Spirit I guess something happened to me.

Dr. Do you realize that you have passed out of your own body?

Sp. I don't want my hands held. I am a lady of means (an expression often used by the patient) and want to be shown the courtesies and respect due a lady.

Dr. Did they call you “Mrs.” or “Miss”?

Sp. I am a lady of means, and I am not used to this kind of questioning. I just feel like giving you a piece of my mind.

Dr. What seems to be your trouble?

Sp. You, it seems, have such a way of giving me all kinds of strange things in my back, (static treatment of patient) and I cannot see why you should do so. You have also kept me in prison. It must have been you that put me in prison. Who are you, anyway?

Dr. I am a friend, and I want to talk to you.

Sp. In the first place, I don't know you, and in the second place I have nothing to talk to you about. Who are you? Tell me your name.

Dr. I am Dr. Wickland.

Sp. I really didn't mean to ask your name, for I'm not at all interested to know it.

Dr. Wouldn't you like to go to the spirit side of life?

Sp. I do not like to hear about such things. I am no spirit.

Dr. Look at your hands; do they belong to you?

Sp. You are the means of my having been kept in prison so long, and now you are trying to show me things that are not true, and so I will not listen to you.

Dr. How did you happen to come here?

Sp. I do not know myself. It is very curious. I seemed to be in prison and before I knew anything, I was here. I do not see how I came. There were a whole lot of us, and somehow I have been left alone. I have been in prison but I do not know what I have done.

Dr. Where were you, when you had those others with you? Where were you staying? (Referring to obsessing spirits in patient's aura.)

Sp. I was staying where I belonged. There were a lot of us, all bunched together, men and women. We had a home, but we could not get out of it. Sometimes we were in warm quarters. For a time I have been by myself and I have been in a dark place.

Before I was in prison we could talk one at a time (control the patient) but now I am all alone. You have no right to put all those burning things on me.

Dr. That kind of electrical treatment is very good for earthbound spirits - ignorant ones. Sp. Ignorant! How dare you talk like that to me? How dare you ?

Dr. Don't you know that you have passed out of your mortal body? You have lost your physical body.

Sp. How do you know I have?

Dr. Because the body you are talking through is not your own. It is my wife's body.

Sp. I never saw you before you put those sharp things in me.

Dr. You were not using this body at that time.

Sp. What does it all mean?

Dr. It means that you have been using another person's body.

Sp. Well, that explains many things, in a way. Sometimes I felt that I did not belong where I was, then once in a while I felt I was myself again. There was one big old man, a big fool, but we had to do just as he said. (Another spirit obsessing patient, previously removed.)

I did not feel like doing as he said, because I had all the money I wanted, so why should I bother with such a rascal? I felt I had to do what he said, and yet I could not see why I should. I was not in my own home, and yet I had to be there, and I never could understand why I could not get away. He kept several of us with him.

Dr. Did the electricity help you to get away?

Sp. Yes, it did, but it hurt like fury. It seems as if it tore the life out of me.

Dr. The electricity liberated you, just the same.

Sp. We could not get away from that man. We had to do as he said. He ran and ran all the time, (the patient often ran away) and we had to do the same. There was a little girl, and she cried all the time. (Obsessing spirit, previously dislodged from same patient.)

At times I was free, and at times I was in such misery. Some times I felt I could float from one place to another.

Dr. At such times you were a free spirit.

Sp. Don't say that word. How I do hate it. I do not have any use for anything of that kind.

Dr. You do not recognize the fact that when you pass out of the mortal body, you do not die, but that you live; you then become a spirit.

Sp. You know I am not dead. Cannot you understand that I am talking to you, and that I can move my hands and arms?

Dr. My friend, while you are talking, we cannot see you. We can only see my wife.

You are talking through my wife's body. This is Mrs. Wickland sitting here. What is your name?

Sp. I am Mrs. Emily Julia Steve. I was married, but my husband died some years ago. Dr. Do you know that you are in California?

Sp. I have never been there. I went first to Chicago, and from there to St. Louis. (The patient had also lived in St. Louis and had there first developed her aberration.)

Dr. Where did you live in St. Louis?

Sp. I was traveling, I did not live there. I did once live on La Salle Avenue, Chicago, but I was there for a little while only. It was near La Salle and Division. From there I went to St. Louis, and from there - well, I really don't know where I went. I do know that my head was bothering me a great deal. (Patient complained similarly.)

Dr. Do you remember being sick?

Sp. I cannot recall much of anything. (Suddenly greatly excited.) No! No! I think there is something the matter with me. Do you think I am going crazy? Look! Look! There is my husband! No, no! He is a ghost. Just look at him!

Dr. We are talking to a ghost when we talk to you, and we are not afraid.

Sp. There is my child, too! There is my little baby! I am losing my mind. My Lily, my little Lily! Oh, my Lily! Hugo, my husband! I know I am losing my mind. Why, there's my mother! I know my mind is giving way. I am afraid - they are all coming toward me! Hugo, my husband, is it really you? My little Lily, how I do love you! I am so afraid.

Dr. Understand that you have lost your physical body and are now a spirit. Try to realize this.

Sp. Please explain why Hugo, my mother and Lily are around me. Are they not happy in Heaven? Why don't they stay there?

Dr. Do you know anything about Heaven?

Sp. Heaven is above, where Christ and God are.

Dr. Jesus said: “The Kingdom of God is within you.” The Bible says: “Ye are the Temple of God and the Spirit of God dwelleth in you.” Again: “God is Love, and he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God.” God is above, God is below, God is everywhere.

Sp. Don't you believe in a personal God?

Dr. God is Spirit. God could not be only in one place.

Sp. I am getting so tired that it is hard for me to understand what you say. If there were only a place where I could rest, I would gladly go. I cannot describe to you what misery I have been in. I have no home anywhere that I can go to, no place to rest my weary head. I went from one place to another, and I could not find home or peace. I have prayed that I might find rest for just a little while, but somebody always comes and disturbs me. There were so many around, each crowding the other, and I probably was mean myself, but I could not help it. I felt as if a wild beast had gotten hold of me, and I fought everybody like a tiger, and when I was through I was weak for days and, days. I suffered terribly. That horrible man was always after us, and that poor little child was crying all the time, she was so crowded.

I wish I had a little home of my own where I could go, and not have that man around me again. He was terrible - you have no idea. He was such a rascal, but he went away and we have not seen him for quite a while.

The little girl who cried so much has also gone. She always had trouble with her head. I did not mean to be a bad woman, but that man tormented us all so much that we did not know what to do.

Dr. Wouldn't you like to go with your husband and mother and little girl, and have them all take care of you, so that you can rest? Try to realize that you have lost your physical body.

Sp. When did I lose my body?

Dr. We cannot tell you that.

Sp. Sometimes I have felt I was a big woman, and I could fight everybody, and then I would seem smaller, and it was very confusing.

Dr. That may have been caused by your influencing different people. You can be free from that condition.

Sp. Then will I have a rest? Will I wake up and find that I have only had a dream, and then have that horrible man and that crying child around me? I do not want to ever see that man again. He used to fight those women as if he were a demon, and he was so angry, and he treated the little girl very badly. She was afraid of him.

Dr. Now try to forget what has happened, and live for the future. Go with your husband and he will explain the beauties of the spirit world to you.

Sp. My husband, Hugo! I love him so dearly, and after he died life was not worth living to me. My dear child went to him just a month afterward. She was a child three years of age. Hugo, my husband, was my life. I did not care what became of me after he left. When my husband lived, we traveled a great deal. We went everywhere. We went to Alaska and there he took cold and had pneumonia, and my little child got very sick. It is hard to live all that over again.

Dr. Why go all over that again, when your people are here to take you away with them? Sp. I want to go with them but I am afraid, because they are dead. Hugo says he has been looking for me for years and years, but he could not find me, and I cannot tell him where I have been. When Hugo and Lily died, I took very sick, and the doctors said I was a nervous wreck. I grew very much worse, and I remember them taking me to a place called Elgin (probably an asylum). I have just a faint recollection of that. When I grew better (evidently died) I went to St. Louis, because I had a sister there. Since I began to talk I feel different, and now I want to go with all my people. Just look at that beautiful bed. Now I can rest, and with Hugo I shall not have worries any more.

God bless you all and help you. Hugo says to tell you he is so pleased he found me at last and to say we shall be reunited and never part again. God bless you, each and all.