Читать книгу Forming True Partnerships - Группа авторов - Страница 7

“Having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.”

—Step Eight, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Relationships are where we turn for life support. A life-giving partnership with anyone or anything requires the engagement of a whole self, exactly what active alcoholics lack—and what they are seeking in the bottle. The stories in this book, written by the readers of AA Grapevine, illustrate why the ability to enjoy healthy relationships of every kind is one of the most challenging goals of recovery, and one of its most prized gifts.

The seven chapters here honor the many different categories of relationships our members seek to heal, beginning with a section on families. When we get sober and get the family right, the great shift toward sanity begins; then getting picked on is less likely to mean picking up a drink. It’s then we realize, writes the author of “How My Child Came to Believe,” that “time, if we but give it, will not only restore but sanctify.”

Marriage, that pressure cooker, can be the breeding ground for chaos or the birthplace of recovery, as we see in the chapter on marriage. These stunningly candid stories take us through marital adventures and sober divorces, illuminating many facets of that volatile institution and offering fresh new uses for the Serenity Prayer.

In the chapter on dating and romance, one writer seeks love under the spell of alcohol’s “weird mental-emotional spin.” In the story “A 14-Year-Old Mind in a 35-Year-Old Body,” he describes the brand of dating we sometimes refer to as “hostage-taking.” In “Relationships Reconsidered,” Jeff H. paints a different picture. “By continuing to trust God and clean house,” he writes, “this relationship is completely effortless!”

“AA can bring people together, no matter what their differences,” says April A. in “Planting the Seed.” Really? Even our co-workers? The stories in the chapter on the workplace say yes. Workplaces are trying, but when we acknowledge sobriety as our primary full-time job, the Promises come true. Friendship, feared and longed for by alcoholic loners, is prized by AA members. In “Winning Friends,” T.T. puts it this way: “I entered AA as a lonely, wretched, ignorant and isolated practicing drunk, and I found what I always wanted—to be part of something wonderful and to be valued by others.”

Our four-legged friends are important figures in so many of our addiction and recovery stories. The particularly poignant chapter on pets and animals reminds us that our most forgiving animal companions are likely to act as our mirrors, that a living amends can be a Frisbee toss or a clean litter box, and that some of our best button-pushers have nine lives.

And in the book’s final chapter, we see wonderful examples of how the two-way relationship of AA sponsor and sponsee may be like no other in the world. The author of “90 Days of June,” Carol P., writes as a grateful newcomer: “For a long time I was out of sight of the herd, and now I’ve been accepted into the fold. All this in 90 days, all because I was willing to reach out for help to a sponsor.”

“We are part of a great whole,” says Tradition One. No matter what version of a relationship an alcoholic is dealing with, sobriety is capable of healing it, stabilizing it, and ensuring its longevity. The stories in Forming True Partnerships show that by putting the drink down and getting involved in the AA program, we get the chance to heal old relationships and develop wonderful, new, healthy ones. That’s quite a considerable gift.