Читать книгу With Love From Cape Town - Joss Wood - Страница 17

BY THE time Robina finished for the day, she was emotionally exhausted and looking forward to spending some time with Ella. After she had read her a story, she would work on her book before collapsing into bed. Sometimes she wondered if it was all too much, the filming and the writing. Most people would be happy with just one career and she had two. Perhaps she was tearing herself into pieces just trying to prove she could do it all? But prove it to whom? Niall, herself—or her dead father? The time off she had promised Ella was her first break from work since her marriage. Robina felt a shiver of guilt, remembering that she and Niall hadn’t even taken a honeymoon because of her work schedule.

The thought of the weekend away was becoming more appealing by the minute. Even if it did mean Niall and her circling each other like two wary tigers. But since their day out with Ella the tension between them had eased. So perhaps it was what she and Niall both needed. But how would they cope? Thrust into one another’s company for two whole days? Her heart rate upped a notch. Maybe they could build on the fragile truce of the day out.

Her thoughts turned to her mother. She missed her terribly. Something was worrying her—that much was obvious to Robina from their last phone call, no matter how much her mother tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Perhaps she should go and see her? They were due to have a break from filming in a couple of weeks. She could take Ella with her—show her Africa, and introduce her to her family. Her spirits lifted. It was an appealing thought—a couple of weeks back in the country she yearned for, with her mother, would give her time to think at least.

Once Ella was tucked up in bed, Robina popped a lamb joint into the oven and left it cooking while she ran herself a bath. Perhaps Niall would be home in time to join her for dinner. If so, she could discuss her plan with him then. It would give them something to talk about and would make a change from the usual fraught mealtimes where they both struggled to find something uncontroversial to talk about.

The slamming of the door signalled Niall’s arrival home and Robina felt the predictable squeezing of her heart. This was the bit where he should be calling out to her, running up the stairs to take her in his arms…then they would make love, uncaring that dinner was ruined.

Wrapping herself in her dressing gown, she went to greet him. He was shaking the rain off his coat. Robina’s breath caught in her throat as she took in his damp hair. He looks tired, she thought anxiously. Tired, but devastatingly handsome. As she looked at him the thought hit her like a sledgehammer. She still loved him. Completely and hopelessly. All this talk about staying together for Ella’s sake was only half-true. A life without Niall was no life at all.

‘Robina! Is something wrong? Is Ella all right?’

He looked surprised to see her waiting for him. Once again her heart contracted. They had both been so stubborn. They had been in love once; surely he couldn’t have lost all feeling for her?

‘Ella’s fine. She’s sleeping. I thought we might have dinner together,’ she said, feeling a blush steal over her cheeks. ‘And have a chat.’

‘What about?’ His voice was flat. ‘Is there something about the documentary you want to discuss? Because I have to tell you, I’m tired and not really in the mood.’

‘No, it’s not work,’ Robina retorted, disappointment making her brusque. ‘I was thinking of taking a couple of weeks and going to see Mum. I wondered about taking Ella with me.’

They moved into the kitchen where delicious smells were emanating from the oven. Niall cocked an eyebrow in Robina’s direction, but said nothing, instead taking his place at the table.

‘Why now?’ he asked. ‘I thought we agreed that we both needed to spend time with Ella. Or had you forgotten?’

‘I miss Mum,’ Robina said as she removed the lamb from the oven. She had made dauphinoise potatoes and green beans to go with the roast. Somehow the potatoes looked more like mash and the lamb was burnt at the edges, but at least the beans were fine, if a little limp and anaemic-looking.

‘I just know something’s bothering her, and I’d like to find out what. Apart from my brothers, who have their own families, she’s all I’ve got.’

Neil winced then dragged his hand through his hair.

‘We’re your family now, Robina,’ he said quietly.

‘Are you? I want to believe that, but I don’t know if I can.’

‘I thought that’s why we were going away this weekend. So we can try to be a family again. Or have you already decided that it’s not going to work?’ He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Are you thinking of going back to South Africa for good, Robina? Because if you are, you’d better tell me.’

‘No! Of course not!’ Robina replied. ‘I told you and Ella I wouldn’t leave, and I have no intention of doing so. Niall, why are we going round in circles like this? All I want is some time with my mother. I thought Ella would enjoy the trip. We’re still going away this weekend, aren’t we? And I have every intention of making it a happy couple of days.’ She pushed the lamb towards Niall. ‘Would you carve?’ she said.

Niall attacked the roast with the sharp knife and manfully tried to cut a slice, without much success.

‘Shall I get the saw from the garden shed?’ Robina suggested, and suddenly they were both laughing. Niall managed to carve enough for them to share and the earlier tension drifted away as they chatted about the documentary. Watching Niall as they talked, Robina revelled in the companionship she had missed for so long. It was a start; a small step in the right direction. Her sore heart began to ease.

It was late on Friday by the time they set off. Niall had been held up at the hospital. Although he wasn’t on call, one of his patients had gone into labour and Niall had stayed to do her C-section.

‘I’m sorry, Robina,’ he had apologised when he’d eventually made it home. ‘I promised her I’d deliver her baby and I just couldn’t let her down.’ He sat down at the kitchen table and rubbed a tired hand across his forehead.

‘What happened?’ Robina asked. There had been a time when they’d spend the evenings discussing their patients, sharing the ups and downs of their medical lives, but it had been a long time since they had done that. Robina handed Niall a coffee and waited.

‘She had a stillbirth at thirty-five weeks in her last pregnancy. We don’t know why. God, Robina, it still beats me that we lose babies, even now when we have all this technology at our disposal, and we don’t know why.’

Robina felt the familiar sharp stab of pain.

‘I would have done anything to have been able to save our baby. You do know that, don’t you?’ Niall said gently.

Robina closed her eyes, hearing the undercurrent of sadness in his words. ‘I know, Niall. There was nothing anyone could do.’ She took a deep breath, summoning her courage while trying to find the words to tell him how she felt, but before she could say anything, Ella skipped in and sidled up to her father. Niall put his arm around his daughter and pulled her close.

‘Every baby we lose is a blow.’ He glanced up and Robina sucked in her breath at the naked pain in his eyes.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching Ella, who had climbed up on a chair and was rooting around in the kitchen cupboards.

‘Sabrina was naturally worried the same thing would happen in this pregnancy,’ Niall continued. ‘So I agreed to let her have an elective section. It was supposed to be this afternoon, but then I had to take another patient to Theatre who was an emergency. I’ll tell you about that later,’ he said with a quick glance at Ella, who appeared to have found what she was looking for—her favourite mug. ‘Anyway, the emergency took most of the afternoon, so we couldn’t do Sabrina’s section until after five. But, she had a healthy baby girl and is absolutely delighted. So all’s well that ends well.’ He grinned at her and Robina’s heart did a flip-flop. The way he cared about his patients was one of the things she loved most about him.

‘Maybe we should leave tomorrow morning instead?’ Robina suggested. ‘Ella will be ready for bed by the time we get there.’

‘No,’ Ella protested. ‘I want to go tonight. You promised. And I’m all ready to go now I’ve got my cup.’ She set her mouth in a mutinous line. She had been excited all day and Robina knew they couldn’t let her down. Ella had even packed her own suitcase, although when Robina checked it she found it full of books and toys and not much else, and had had to pack another, more appropriate case for her.

‘It’s not too late, surely?’ Niall said. ‘I packed before I left for work this morning, so I’m ready.’

Robina gave in and soon they were following the winding roads that led them to the Highlands. She had never been to the north of Scotland before and she was looking forward to seeing more of her adopted country.

After a couple of hours they pulled up outside a cottage that seemed to be set in the middle of nowhere. Dark, gloomy mountains rose out of the darkness. There were no lights to be seen for miles. Where had Niall brought them? Where were the shops, the restaurants? What on earth were they going to do for the two days?

Predictably, Ella had fallen asleep and they left her in the car while they went to open up the cottage. As promised, keys had been left in the door.

The cottage was tiny and freezing. Again Robina wondered what Niall had been thinking. There was a stove on one side of the kitchen and an open fire on the other side, which obviously served as a small sitting room. Upstairs, Robina was aghast to find that there was only one bedroom.

‘Where is the other bedroom?’ she said to Niall. ‘I imagined there would be at least two.’

Niall was looking baffled and dismayed. ‘I’m sorry, Robina. Believe me, it’s not what I expected. The website described it as luxurious with all mod cons.’ He grimaced. ‘I guess we can say they were a little economical with the truth.’

He looked so woebegone that Robina had to laugh. ‘Never mind. We’ll just have to make the best of it. We can all sleep together in the bed—it’ll be a bit of a squash but, seeing as it’s just for a couple of nights, I’m sure we’ll manage.’ All the same, a little part of her felt disappointed that she and Niall wouldn’t be sleeping together alone. Even so, the thought of sharing a bed with Niall again, even with Ella beside them, was making her pulse race.

‘Why don’t you bring Ella in while I make us something hot to drink?’ she said, keeping her voice steady. ‘Then we’ll see what can be done about the fire.’

Once Ella was tucked up in bed, Robina and Niall set about the fire. But the old-fashioned stove was nothing like either of them had ever seen before and soon they were forced to concede defeat.

‘I’ll have a look at it in the morning,’ Niall said. ‘There’s not much point in persevering at the moment. Let’s go to bed.’

There was nothing else for it. Robina was freezing and there was no way either of them could spend the night in the chair.

‘I’ll just use the bathroom, unless you want to go first?’ she said. The room was suddenly alive with unbearable tension. Niall simply nodded.

Robina spent ages in the bathroom, first trying to get warm water out of the shower and when that didn’t happen making do with lukewarm water at the sink. After washing as best she could, she slipped on the warm flannel pyjamas she had brought, refusing to think about the silky nightdress she had also packed in her suitcase. Eventually, realising she couldn’t possibly spend any more time lurking in the bathroom, Robina abandoned the sanctuary. Niall was exhausted and would no doubt be looking forward to a good night’s sleep—even if she wouldn’t get a wink.

She slipped out of the bathroom, feeling ridiculously self-conscious. She hadn’t felt this way since the night of their wedding—the same unsettling mixture of excitement and nerves. Niall had respected her views on sex before marriage and although it had been hard on both of them, the wait had made that night even more special. Not just special—sensational. Just thinking about it sent waves of heat and desire coursing through her body.

But she needn’t have worried. Niall had obviously become fed up waiting for her to vacate the bathroom and had used the kitchen sink to clean his teeth before slipping into bed, with Ella curled up beside him on the far side. In the semi-darkness, Robina couldn’t tell if he was asleep, but from the sound of rhythmic breathing it appeared he was.

Tentatively, trying not to disturb him, she slipped under the blankets, shivering as she felt the cool sheets on her skin. She lay there for a few seconds scared to move a muscle in case she woke Niall.

But it seemed as if she had been mistaken.

‘You’re cold,’ Niall’s deep voice said. ‘Come here and let me warm you.’ Robina felt his hand touch her shoulder and the shock of it was almost enough to make her leap out of bed. ‘You’re perfectly safe,’ he said, and she could hear a hint of laughter under his words.

He rolled over and pulled her into the crook of his arm. She lay there rigidly, breathing in the familiar scent of soap from his skin. From his touch she knew he was naked—above the waist at least. Niall never wore pyjamas, and she absolutely refused to think about the lower half. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, the hard muscle of his shoulder underneath her, his fingertips just brushing her arm.

Robina was trembling but she knew it wasn’t from the cold. It felt so good to be back in his arms, deliciously warm and safe, and she wondered what would have happened if Ella hadn’t been sleeping right next to them. Would she have been able to stop herself from snuggling closer and running her fingertips over the hard, once-so-familiar contours of his body? Would they have made love, then talked into the night? Would Niall have told her he still loved her? But to her dismay and chagrin, she heard his breathing deepen and realised he had fallen asleep. Suddenly she was furious. How could he? How could he just fall asleep with her in his arms? As if it meant nothing and he was completely unaffected by her? Grumpily, she rolled away from him and onto her side. It was more proof, as if she needed it, that their marriage was dead in the water.

On the other side of the bed, Niall was acutely aware of every inch of his wife’s body as she lay next to him. He smiled, thinking that everything was going according to plan. Well, almost. Okay, the cottage wasn’t exactly the way he had thought it would be, but he had known it only had one bed and that they would have to share it. He had already suggested to Ella’s grandparents that Ella stay with them tomorrow night, giving him the opportunity to get his wife on her own. He bit back a groan. If it wasn’t for Ella, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from seducing his wife and, remembering the feel of Robina’s hammering heart underneath his fingertips when he had held her close, he doubted if this time she would have pushed him away. As it was, he could do with a cold shower or a freezing walk, because there was no way he was going to be able to sleep feeling the way he did. It was driving him crazy, seeing her every day and not being able to make love to her. He couldn’t stop the memory of her long legs wrapped around his, her head thrown back, her long neck arched as she lost herself in their love-making. Did she have any idea what sweet torture it was having her back in his bed but not able to touch her? Sweet God, the sooner he had his wife back—heart and soul—the better.