Читать книгу Scandalous Sins: Unwrapping His Convenient Fiancée / The Sheikh's Pregnant Prisoner / Snowbound with His Innocent Temptation - Кэтти Уильямс, Tara Pammi, Cathy Williams - Страница 11
ОглавлениеVIOLET WASN’T SURE she liked the idea of Sophia having photos of her and Cam but what could she do? She had to play along and pretend everything was fine. Thing was, it felt fine. Leaning against him, smiling up at him, looking into those amazingly blue eyes of his that crinkled up at the corners when he smiled—all of it felt so fine she had trouble remembering this was all an act. That it wasn’t going to last beyond the weekend.
‘Nick and I are going to dance at the nightclub down the road,’ Sophia said. ‘Come and join us.’
It wasn’t an invitation—it was a command. One Violet would have ignored but for the forty million pounds that were hanging in the balance.
And because she didn’t want Sophia to think she was one bit intimidated by her. It was how mean girls worked. They manipulated and caused trouble, striking mischief-making matches and standing back to watch the explosion like Lorna had done outside the office.
But there was another reason Violet walked into that nightclub on Cam’s arm. She had never danced with anyone. Not since that party. She hated the crush of bodies. The threat of strangers touching her, even by accident as they jostled on the dance floor, had always been too threatening.
But if she danced with Cam it would prove she was moving on. Taking back the control she had lost. She had never danced with him, not even at one of her family’s famous ceilidhs. He had always refrained from joining into the fun, citing the fact that he had no coordination or wasn’t a true Scot and there was no way he was ever wearing a skirt. But this would be the perfect opportunity to get him on the dance floor. A legitimate excuse to be in his arms. Where she felt safe.
But Violet hadn’t factored in the music. It wasn’t the swaying-in-your-partner’s arms sort. It was loud, an auditory assault that made conversation other than sign language virtually impossible. The nightclub dance floor was cramped with sweaty, gyrating bodies. It was exactly the sort of place she normally avoided. There wasn’t room to swing a cat, let alone a dance partner.
But Sophia and Nick seemed to be enjoying every eardrum-splitting moment. They were jigging about, weaving their way through the knot of dancers as if they did it every day of the week. They waved to Cam and Violet on their way past, shouting over the music, ‘Come and join us!’
Violet looked up at Cam, who looked like he was suffering from indigestion. She stepped up on tiptoe and cupped her hand around his ear. ‘Are you going to ask me to dance? Because, if so, let me spare you the embarrassment of being rejected.’
‘You call that dancing?’
A smile tugged at her mouth and she stepped up to his ear again. ‘You ever get the feeling you were born into the wrong century? Give me a traditional Gay Gordon dance any day.’
He drew her closer in a quick squeeze hug that made her breath hitch. ‘I feel about a hundred and fifty in here.’
‘Age or temperature?’
He gave a crooked smile and took out his handkerchief—why did classy men always have one?—and gently blotted the beads of perspiration that had gathered on her forehead. Violet couldn’t tear her eyes away from the deep steady focus of his. What was he thinking behind the screen of his gaze? His eyes dipped to her mouth, his lashes going to half-mast, giving him a sexily hooded look that made her belly quiver like someone bumping into an unset bowl of jelly. She moistened her mouth...not because it was dry but because she liked seeing him watch her do so. He moved closer, his thighs strong and muscular, so very male against her trembling legs. She felt the ridge of his arousal. It should have shocked her, would’ve shocked her, if it had been anyone else.
But it was Cam.
Who desired her even though he didn’t want to. It was a force they were both fighting...for different reasons. Violet didn’t want to waste time in a relationship going nowhere even if it was with the most desirable man she had ever met. Cam wasn’t interested in finding a life partner. He didn’t want to be tied down to family life. Understandable, given the atrocious example his parents had set. But Violet couldn’t help wondering if deep down he was less concerned about his loss of freedom and more concerned about not being the sort of husband and father he most aspired to be. He was a perfectionist. Doing a good job wasn’t enough for someone like Cam. If he put his mind and energy to something he did it brilliantly. That was why he was one of the most celebrated naval architects in the world.
‘Let’s go someplace else,’ Cam said against her ear.
Had he suggested leaving because he knew she was uncomfortable in that environment? Violet couldn’t help but be touched by his concern. ‘But what about Nick and—?’
‘They’ll survive without us.’ He took her hand and led her out of the nightclub. ‘I’ll send Nick a text to say we had to leave. He’ll think I want to whip you away somewhere private.’
Please do! Violet followed him out of the nightclub to the wet and cold street outside. Within a few minutes they were in the warm cocoon of his car. But instead of driving her back to her flat he turned in the direction of his house in Belgravia. She hadn’t been there before...although she’d walked past. Purely to satisfy her feminine interest, of course. During the drive he’d suggested a nightcap, which could have been code for something else but she took it at face value. Besides, going back to her flat, which would be empty now because both Amy and Stef had steady boyfriends and spent most weekends at their homes, was not the most exciting prospect.
Violet had to pretend to be surprised by the outside of the house when he pulled up in front of it. ‘Is this your place? Wow! It’s gorgeous. How long have you had it? It looks massive.’
‘I bought it a year or so ago.’ He led her up the black and white tiled pathway to the front door. ‘I’ve done most of the renovations myself.’
Violet knew he was good with his hands; she had the humming body to prove it. But she hadn’t realised he was a handyman of this sort of standard. The house was amazing. A showcase similar to those you would see in a home and lifestyle magazine. It was a three storey high Georgian mansion with beautiful features throughout. Crystal chandeliers tinkled above when Cam closed the door against the wintry breeze. The plush Persian carpet runner that led the way down the wide hallway threatened to swallow Violet’s feet whole. The antique furniture made her mouth water. Some girls loved fashion and jewellery but anything old and precious did it for her. There were priceless works of art on the walls in gilt-edged frames. Sculptures on marble stands, a white orchid in full bloom on another softening the overall effect.
Cam led her through to a sitting room with a fireplace with a stunning black marble surround with brass trim. Twin cream sofas, deep as a cloud, sat opposite each other with a mahogany coffee table in between. A Louis XV chair was featured in one corner next to a small cedar writing desk next to a full bookcase. It looked like the perfect room for curling up with a book...or cuddling up with the one you loved.
Stop it. You’re letting it go to your head.
Violet realised then with a little jolt that this was the first time they had been completely alone. At Drummond Brae there had always been members of her family about the place, if not in the same room. She had never truly been alone with Cam without the threat of interruption.
Violet turned from taking in all of the room to find him looking at her with an unreadable expression. The air seemed to tighten and then to crackle as if an invisible current was being transmitted through their gazes. She could feel her body responding to the magnetic presence of his. She was half a room away but it felt like a force was drawing her to him, a force she could not control even if she wanted to. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she asked, barely recognising the breathy voice as coming from her.
‘How am I looking at you?’
‘As if you don’t want me to know what you’re thinking.’
His mouth lifted in a wry smile that tugged on something deep inside her. ‘Believe me, you don’t want to know what I’m thinking.’
‘Try me.’ Did you just say that? Isn’t that flirting? That thing you never do?
He closed the distance in a couple of strides, standing close enough for her to feel the potent energy of his body calling out to hers. ‘This is all sorts of crazy.’ He didn’t touch her. He just stood there looking down at her with that inscrutable expression on his face.
Violet disguised a tiny swallow. ‘What is?’
She heard him draw in a breath, it sounded as if it caught on something on the way through. He lifted his hand, brushing the backs of his bent fingers down the slope of her cheek. ‘Being alone with you. It’s...ill-advised.’
Ill-advised? Violet wondered what other word he’d considered using. Dangerous? Tempting? Inevitable? All three seemed to apply. She looked at his mouth, knowing it was a signal for him to kiss her. Knowing it and doing it anyway. It was what she wanted. It was what he wanted. She might not be very experienced but she could tell when a man wanted to kiss a woman.
She lowered her lashes over her eyes, swaying towards him. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. She placed her hands on the wall of his chest. The feel of his firm male form beneath her palms sent a thrill through her body. It was like being plugged into a power source. She felt the sensual voltage from her palms to the balls of her feet...and other places. Places she mostly ignored, but not now. Her feminine core responded to his closeness with a tight, clenching ache. His head came down, his mouth hovering within a breath of hers as if some fraying thread of self-control was only just keeping him in check.
Violet took matters into her own hands...or mouth, so to speak. She closed the minuscule distance by placing her lips to his, her heart kicking in excitement when he made a low, deep groaning sound before he took charge of the kiss. His lips were firmer than the last time, not rough but with an undercurrent of desperation as if the self-control he had always relied on had finally let him down. She felt it in the way his tongue came in ruthless search of hers, tangling with it in an erotic dance that made her skin pop all over with goose bumps. The spread of his fingers through her hair made every nerve on her scalp tingle at the roots, his mouth continuing its sensual teasing until she was mindless with longing. His stubble grazed her cheek and then her chin but she didn’t care. This was what she’d been hungering for all evening...or maybe for most of her adult life.
* * *
The insistent sound of her phone vibrating and chirruping from within her evening bag would have been easy to ignore under normal circumstances, but it was late at night. Late night phone calls usually meant something was wrong. And with her frail grandfather it was hard not to worry something terrible had happened. Violet eased back from Cam’s embrace and gave him a wincing look. ‘Sorry, better answer that. It might be urgent.’
‘Sure.’ He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and stood back while she fished her phone out of her purse.
By the time Violet got her phone out it had stopped, but she frowned when she saw she’d missed six calls from her mother. There were three each from all of her siblings. Her stomach dropped like an elevator with sabotaged cables. She pressed speed dial and looked at Cam with a grimace as she braced herself for bad news.
‘Mum? What’s wrong? You called me—’
‘Poppet, why didn’t you tell me?’ Her mother’s clear voice carried as if Violet had put her on speaker. ‘It’s all over social media. I’ve had everyone calling to confirm it. We’re so delighted for you and Cam. When did he ask you? Tell me everything. It’s just so exciting! Grandad’s taken on a new lease of life. He got out of bed and had a wee dram to celebrate. He says he’s going to make it to your wedding and no one’s going to stop him. Your father’s beside himself with joy. Here, speak to him.’
Violet looked wide-eyed at Cam for help, mouthing, What will I say?
Cam gestured for her to hand him the phone. He took it and held it to his ear, his eyes on Violet’s, his expression was calm on the surface, but she could see a tiny muscle in his jaw going on and off like a miniature hammer. ‘Gavin? Yes, well, we were hoping to keep it quiet a little longer but—’
‘Congratulations,’ her father said. ‘Couldn’t have asked for a better son-in-law. You have my every blessing, Cam. You’re already a big part of the family—this has just made it formal. You and our little Vivi. I’m so thrilled I can barely tell you. I know you’ll look after our baby girl.’
After a few more effusive congratulations from both her parents, Cam handed back the phone to Violet and she was subjected to the same. This was the trouble with having parents who were enthusiastic and encouraging in anything and everything their children did. There was barely a space for her to put a word in. Finally her parents ended the call and Violet switched her phone off. Her siblings would be next. There would be another barrage of verbiage she wouldn’t be able to contradict for fear of disappointing everyone.
But her brother and sisters would have to wait until she figured out what Cam was up to. Why hadn’t he denied it? Why let it continue when so many people would be hurt when the truth came out?
‘Okay, so apparently we’re now engaged,’ she said, shooting him a please explain look. ‘Any idea how that happened?’
His mouth was set in a rigid line. ‘Sophia Nicolaides must have made an announcement on social media with that photo she took of us at dinner. Do you know how many followers she has?’ He turned away and let out a stiff curse. ‘I should’ve known something like this would happen.’
‘But we could’ve just denied it.’
He swung his gaze back to hers. ‘You heard what your mother said. Your grandfather practically came out of a coma at the news. No, we’ll have to run with it—at least until after Christmas.’
Violet’s heart was doing a rather good impression of having some sort of medical event. ‘Why till after Christmas?’
‘Because I don’t want your family’s Christmas to be spoilt,’ he said. ‘It’s the time when everyone comes together. Your mother puts such a lot of effort into making it special for everyone. Can you imagine how awkward it would be if we were to tell them it’s all a lie?’
Violet chewed her lip. He was right. Of course he was. Christmas was a big thing in her family and it would be ruined if she and Cam put them straight about the charade they were playing. And surely poor old Grandad deserved to have his last Christmas as happy as they could make it? It wasn’t like Cam was going to keep this going for ever. He didn’t want to settle down. The last thing he would want to do was tie himself down with a woman he wasn’t in love with. He liked her, loved her even in a platonic sort of way, but he wasn’t in love with her. She wasn’t his type. She wasn’t anyone’s type.
‘But we’re going to have to tell them some time...’
Cam dragged a hand down his face, momentarily distorting his handsome features. ‘I know, but there’s too much at stake. And no, I’m not just referring to this deal with Nicolaides.’
‘Apart from my family, what else is at stake?’
He let out a ragged-sounding breath. ‘There’s my family for one thing. I’m not sure I want to show up to my father’s fifth wedding on Christmas Eve with a broken engagement under my belt. He’ll never let me hear the end of it. I can hear everyone saying it now. Like father, like son.’
Violet could understand his point of view. From what she knew of his father, Ross McKinnon would make the most of any opportunity to rub in Cam’s mistakes as a way to take the focus off his own behaviour. His mother, Candice, would also not let a chance like that go by, given Cam had been so critical of how both his parents had behaved over the years.
‘Right, well, it looks like we run with it then.’
At least her office Christmas party would be less of an ordeal with him there as her fiancé. For once she would be spared the sleazy flirting from male colleagues, and at least there would be no more pitying looks from some of the women who thought it fine sport to make a mockery out of her being single. It was a win-win...she hoped.
Cam picked up his keys from the writing desk where he’d left them earlier. ‘I’d better take you home. It’s late.’
Violet’s spirits slumped in disappointment. Didn’t he want to finish the kiss they’d started? ‘I don’t have to be back by any set time,’ she said. ‘The girls are sleeping over at their boyfriends’ so...’
His sober expression halted her speech. ‘Violet.’ The way he said her name with that deep note of gravity was a little disquieting to say the least. ‘We’re not going there, okay?’
There? Where was ‘there’? All she wanted was a little more kissing and...a little fooling around. Okay, lots of fooling around. Violet forced a smile.
He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes moving back and forth between each of hers in a searching manner that made her feel like someone was trickling sand down the column of her spine. ‘I said we’d kiss and that’s all.’
‘Fine. No problem. Best to be sensible about this.’ The words kept tumbling out. ‘Way, way too awkward if we go there. I’m not your type in any case. Not enough experience for one thing.’
His brows formed a bridge over his dark-as-midnight blue eyes. ‘How much experience have you had?’
Violet gave a self-deprecating grimace. ‘Well...let’s put it this way. I haven’t been around the block, I got to the corner and then got kind of lost.’
His frown deepened. ‘What do you mean?’
What are you doing? You haven’t ever told anyone about...that.
Violet pressed her lips together, wondering if she should go any further. Would it make him see her differently? Make him judge her for being a naïve little fool to get into such a situation? But something about his concerned expression made her realise he would be the last person to pass judgement on her. ‘I’d rather not talk about it...’
‘You can tell me, Violet.’ Cam’s voice was so steady, so strong, so calm. But then he had always been a good listener. Violet remembered an occasion during her teens when she’d found herself telling him about the mean girls at school who had taunted her for not wearing the right label of clothes to a party. What was it with her and parties? Cam had listened to her frustrated rant and then assured her the girls were probably jealous because she didn’t need designer wear to look gorgeous. Violet remembered blushing to the roots of her hair but feeling a strange sense of warmth every time she recalled that conversation since.
Telling him about what happened at that university party was not on the same level of having a moan about a bunch of vacuous schoolgirls at a teenage birthday bash. Telling him about the trauma of her first sexual experience would be laying herself bare. Opening old wounds that had never properly healed. But there was something about Cam that gave her new strength. Maybe it was time to get it off her chest so she could breathe without that lingering pinching feeling of shame.
‘During my first year at university, I went to a party...’ She took a short breath before continuing. ‘I was trying to fit in instead of being on the outer all the time. I had a couple of drinks—too many drinks, really...’
Violet glanced up to see him frowning so intensely his eyebrows met over his eyes. But it wasn’t a frown of disapproval or judgement, it was one of raw concern. It gave her the courage to continue. ‘Things got a little hazy and I...well, I woke up and there were three...’ She took a painful swallow. ‘At first I wasn’t sure if it was a dream—a nightmare or something. I was on a bed and there was a man, not someone I knew...’
‘Did he...rape you?’ Cam’s voice came out sounding rusty as if he had trouble getting the words through his throat.
This time Violet couldn’t quite meet his gaze but aimed it at a point just below his chin. ‘I’m not sure... I don’t remember that part. Can you call it rape if you don’t remember anything? There wasn’t just one man... I’m not sure if they were just...watching or...’
He took her by the hands and drew her close but not quite touching his body as if he was worried about making her feel uncomfortable after her confession. ‘Did you report it?’
Violet shook her head. ‘I couldn’t bear anyone knowing about it. I didn’t tell anyone, not even Mum or Rose or Lily. I felt so ashamed I’d got myself into that situation. I just locked it away and...and, well, I quit my studies. I couldn’t help feeling people were looking at me differently around the campus...you know? I just thought it best to move on and pretend it never happened.’
He drew her against him in a gentle hug, resting his head on top of hers. ‘I wish I’d been at that party because there’s no way those lowlife creeps would have got away with that.’ The deep resonance of his voice from his chest where it was pressed against hers was a strange sort of comfort. She felt safe in a way she hadn’t felt in years. If only he had been there. If only she had been able to run to him and have him hold her, protect her. He was that type of man. Honourable. Chivalrous. There was no way he would spike anyone’s drink and take advantage of a woman when she was too out of it to give proper consent. The world needed more men like Cam. Men who weren’t afraid to stand up to bullies. Men who were brave and steadfast in their values. Men who treated women as equals and not as objects to service their needs.
Violet looked up at him. ‘Thank you.’
He gently stroked her hair back from her face. ‘It wasn’t your fault, Violet. What those men did was wrong. You’re not the one who should be feeling ashamed. They committed a crime and so did anyone else at that party who witnessed it and didn’t report it.’
‘I was so worried there might be...photos...’
He winced as if someone had stabbed him in the gut. ‘Do you remember anyone taking any?’
Violet shook her head. ‘No, but there was so much I didn’t remember so I could never be sure one way or the other. It’s made the humiliation of that night go on and on. For ten years I’ve worried someone out there has photos of me...like that, and I can’t do anything about it.’
Cam’s expression was tight with rage on her behalf. There were white tips around his mouth and his jaw was locked. ‘Think of it this way. If photos were to surface they could be used as evidence in court. You could identify the perpetrators and lay charges.’
Violet hadn’t thought of it that way and it was like a weight coming off her, like taking off a heavy backpack after a long, exhausting walk. She leaned her head against his chest, breathing in the clean male scent of him. He continued to stroke her head, gentle soothing strokes that made her feel as if she was the most precious person in the world instead of someone dirty, tainted, someone to be used for sport and cast aside.
Violet didn’t know how long they stood there like that. It could have been seconds, minutes or even half an hour. All she knew was it felt as if she had come to a safe anchorage after years of tossing about in an unpredictable sea.
But finally he eased back from her, still holding her, his thumbs rhythmically stroking the backs of her hands. ‘I want you to know something, Violet. You will always be safe with me. Always.’
Violet wasn’t sure she wanted to be safe. The feelings she had for him were dangerous. Dangerous and exciting. ‘Thanks...’ I think. ‘But please, I’d rather you didn’t mention this to my family. I want to put it behind me. For good.’
‘Am I the only person you’ve told?’
Violet nodded. ‘Weird, huh? You of all people.’
His frown was still pleating his forehead. ‘Why me of all people?’
She shifted her gaze. ‘I don’t know... I never thought I’d tell you. I guess I didn’t want you to think of me...like that.’
He brought her chin up so her gaze came back to his. ‘Hey.’ His eyes were as dark as sapphires, his voice low and deep as a bass chord. ‘I could never think of you like that and nor should you think of yourself that way. You’re a beautiful person who had an ugly thing happen to her. Don’t keep punishing yourself.’
Violet had spent years berating herself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong personality. If she’d been less reserved, less trusting, more able to stand up for herself, then maybe it wouldn’t have happened. For so long she had blamed herself for allowing herself to get into such a situation. But now that she had opened up to Cam, she could see how futile that blame game was. It was time to let it go and accept that it could have happened to anyone. She had been that anyone that fateful day.
Violet looked into his dark, caring eyes. Did this mean it was still hands-off? She still wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to be free from her past and experience being in a relationship with a man who respected her and treated her as an equal. Why couldn’t Cam be that man? Cam who listened to her as if she were the only person in the world he wanted to hear talk. Cam, whom she’d trusted enough to tell her most shameful secret to, which, strangely enough, didn’t feel so shameful now that she had shared it with him.
Cam’s phone started ringing and he took it out of his pocket and grimaced when he saw the caller ID. ‘Fraser.’ He pressed the mute button. ‘I’ll call him later.’
Violet bit down on her lip. Fraser wouldn’t give up in a hurry. She had yet to talk to him and her sisters. How soon before one of her family began to suspect things weren’t quite as they seemed? What if it jeopardised Cam’s contract? She didn’t want to be responsible for ruining that for him, but nor did she want to be responsible for wrecking everyone’s Christmas. ‘This situation between us is getting awfully complicated... I’m not a very good liar. What if someone guesses this isn’t for real?’
His hand cupped one side of her face, his touch gentle fire licking at her flesh. ‘No one will guess. You’re doing a great job so far.’
That’s because I’m not sure I’m still pretending.
