Читать книгу Scandalous Sins: Unwrapping His Convenient Fiancée / The Sheikh's Pregnant Prisoner / Snowbound with His Innocent Temptation - Кэтти Уильямс, Tara Pammi, Cathy Williams - Страница 15
ОглавлениеCAM WOKE FROM a fitful sleep to find the space next to him in the bed was empty. He sat bolt upright, his chest seizing with panic. Where was Violet? When he’d drifted asleep she had been lying in his arms.
Calm down, man. She’s probably gone to the bathroom.
He threw off the bedcovers and, snatching up a towel, wrapped it around his hips and padded through his house, checking each room and bathroom upstairs but there was no sign of her.
‘Violet?’ His voice rang out hollowly. His blood chugged through his veins like chunks of ice. His skin shrank away from his skeleton. He was annoyed at his reaction. What did it say about him? That he was so hooked on her he couldn’t let her out of his sight? Ridiculous. She had a right to move about the house without asking permission first. Maybe she’d had trouble sleeping with him in the bed beside her. After all, she’d never been in a proper relationship before. Sharing a bed with someone took some getting used to, which was why he generally avoided it.
‘Violet?’
Where could she be? Had she gone outside? He tugged the curtains aside but the back garden was as quiet and deserted as a graveyard. It was three in the morning and it was bitterly cold. Had she gone back to her flat? No. She wouldn’t go there without backup. He flung open the sitting room door, then the study.
All empty.
‘Are you looking for me?’ Violet appeared like a ghost in the doorway of the study.
Relief flooded through Cam like the shot of a potent drug. ‘Where were you?’
Her eyes did a double blink at the edginess of his tone. ‘I was reading in the breakfast room.’
Cam frowned so hard his forehead pinched. ‘Reading?’
Her tongue snaked out and left a layer of moisture over her lips. ‘I was...having trouble sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you. You seemed restless enough without me putting on the light and rustling pages.’
Cam forked a hand through his already tousled hair. ‘You should’ve woken me if I was disturbing you. Was I snoring?’
‘No, you were just...restless like you were having a bad dream or something.’
He had been having a bad dream. It was coming back to him now in vivid detail. He had been alone in a run-down castle. The drawbridge was up and there was no way in or out. Loneliness crept out from every dark corner, prodding him with tomb-cold fingers. The yawning emptiness he felt was what he had seen on Kenneth’s face when they’d returned him to his home last night: the absence of hope, the presence of despair, the bitter sting of regret.
But it was a dream. It didn’t mean anything. It was just his mind making up a narrative while his body rested. It didn’t mean he was worried about ending up alone in a castle with nothing but cobwebs and shadows to keep him company. It didn’t mean he was subconsciously regretting his stance on marriage and commitment. It meant he was dog-tired and working too hard. That was what it meant. That. Was. All. ‘Sorry for wrecking your beauty sleep. Next time just give me a jab in the ribs, okay?’
Violet’s shy smile tugged like strings stitched on to his heart. ‘It was probably my fault more than yours. I’ve never spent the night with anyone before.’
Of course she hadn’t. She might have felt all sorts of uncomfortable about sharing the night with him in his bed. Cam put his hands on her hips and brought her closer. ‘I’m not much of a sleep-over person myself.’
A flicker of concern appeared in her gaze. ‘Oh...well, then, I can sleep in one of the spare rooms if you’d—’
‘No.’ Cam brought his mouth down to within an inch of hers. ‘I like having you in my bed.’ More than I want to admit.
Her hint of vanilla danced over his mouth. ‘I like it too.’
Cam covered her mouth with his, a shockwave of need rushing through him as her lips opened beneath his. He moved his lips against hers, a gentle massage to prove to himself he could control his response to her. But within seconds the heat got to him, the flicker of her tongue against his lower lip unravelling his self-control like a dropped ball of string. He splayed his fingers through her silky hair, holding her face so he could deepen the kiss. She gave a soft whimper of approval that made his body shudder in delight.
Her body pressed against his, her breasts free behind the bathrobe she was wearing. Knowing she was naked underneath that robe made him wild with need. He untied the waistband, still with his mouth on hers, letting it fall to her feet. He glided his hands over her breasts and then he brought his mouth to each one in turn, caressing the erect pink nipples with his tongue, gently taking them between his teeth in a soft nibble. She smelt of flowers and sleep and sex and he couldn’t get enough of her.
He brought his mouth back to hers, his hands holding her by the hips so she could feel what she was doing to him. The ache of need pounded through his body, the primal need to mate driving every other thought out of his brain.
He should have taken her upstairs to the bed but he wanted her now. Now.
The hunger was in time with his racing pulse. He wanted her on the floor. On the desk. On the sofa. Wherever he could have her. He dragged his mouth off hers. ‘I want you here. Now.’
Violet’s eyes shone with excitement. She didn’t say anything but her actions spoke for her. She stroked her hands down his chest to his abdomen, deftly unhooking the towel from around his waist and taking him in her hands. Her touch wreaked havoc on his control. Red-hot pleasure shot through his body, luring him to the abyss where the dark magic of oblivion beckoned.
Cam had to stop her from taking him over the edge. He drew her hand away and guided her to the floor. He kissed his way down from her breasts to her belly, lingering over her mound, ramping up her anticipation for what was to come. She squirmed and whimpered when he claimed his prize, her body bucking within seconds of his tongue moving against her. Her cries of pleasure made him want her all the more. Her passion was so unfettered, so unrestrained it made him wonder if she would find the same freedom to express her sexuality with someone else.
Someone else...
Cam tried to push the thought aside but it was impossible. It was ugly, grotesque thinking of Violet with some other guy. Someone who might not appreciate her sensitivity and shyness. Someone who might pressure her into doing things she wasn’t comfortable with doing. Someone who wouldn’t protect her at all times and in all places.
That’s rich coming from the guy who hasn’t got a condom handy.
Violet must have sensed Cam’s shift in mood for she propped herself up on her elbows to look at him. ‘Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?’
Cam took her by the hand and helped her to stand. ‘It’s not you, sweetheart. It’s me.’ He handed her the bathrobe before picking up his towel and hitching it around his waist. ‘I didn’t bring a condom with me.’
‘Oh...’
‘Unlike other men, I don’t have them strategically planted in every room of the house.’ But maybe I should.
Her lips flickered with a smile. ‘That’s kind of nice to know...’
‘I’m selective when it comes to choosing partners.’ He only ever chose women he knew he wouldn’t fall in love with: safe, no-strings women who were out for a bit of fun and a tearless goodbye at the end of it. Women who didn’t look at him with big soulful brown eyes and pretend they didn’t feel things they clearly felt.
How was he going to end this?
Do you even want to?
Cam played with the idea of extending their affair. But how long was too long and how short was too short? Either way, it still left him with the task of facing her family and saying the happy ever after they were hanging out for wasn’t going to happen.
And that wasn’t even the half of it. What about what Violet felt? No matter how much she said she was only after a short fling, he knew her well enough to know she was only saying that to please him. Would it be fair to continue this, knowing she was probably falling in love with him? God knew he was having enough trouble keeping his own feelings in check. Feelings he couldn’t explain. Feelings that crept up on him at odd moments, like when Violet looked at him a certain way, or when she smiled, or when she touched him and it sent a lightning zap of electricity through him. Feelings he couldn’t dismiss because Violet wasn’t a temporary fixture in his life.
The longer he continued their affair, the harder it would be to end it. He knew it and yet...and yet...he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not until after Christmas. Grandad Archie surely deserved to have his last Christmas wish?
Violet made a business of tying the bathrobe back around her waist. ‘I suppose you’re careful to choose partners you’re not likely to fall in love with.’
‘It’s easier that way.’ Maybe that was why he never felt fully satisfied after an encounter even when the sex was good. Something always felt a little off centre. Out of balance, like only wearing one shoe. He never let a relationship drag on for too long. A month or two maximum. It made him look like a bit of a player but that was the price he was prepared to pay for his freedom.
Violet gave him a smile that didn’t quite make the grade. ‘Lucky me.’
Cam frowned. ‘Hey, I didn’t mean I chose you for that reason. You’re different, you know you are.’
‘Not different enough that you’ll fall in love with me.’
‘Violet—’
She held up her hand. ‘It’s okay, I don’t need the lecture.’
Cam took her by the shoulders again. ‘Are you saying you’re in love with me? Is that what you’re saying?’
Her eyes did everything they could to avoid his. ‘No, I’m not saying that.’ Her voice was hardly more than a thread of sound.
Cam tipped up her chin, locking her gaze with his. ‘This is all I can give you. You have to accept it, Violet. Even if we continued our relationship past Christmas, it would still come down to this. I’m not going to get married to you or to anyone just now.’
Her shoulders went down on a sigh. ‘I know. I’m being silly. Sorry.’
He brought her head against his chest, stroking her silky hair with his hand. ‘You’re not being silly. You’re being normal. I’m the one with the commitment issues, not you.’
Her arms snaked around his waist. ‘Can we go back to bed now?’
Cam lifted her in his arms. ‘What a great idea.’
* * *
Violet had arranged with Cam to take her back to her flat on Sunday afternoon to help Amy and Stef with the clean-up, but while she was getting breakfast ready while Cam checked some emails, Amy phoned.
‘You’re not going to believe this,’ Amy said. ‘But last night old Mr Yates in twenty-five was smoking in bed and started a fire—’
‘Is he all right?’ Violet asked.
‘Just a bit of smoke inhalation but both our flats are uninhabitable from the water damage,’ Amy said. ‘The landlady is furious and poor Mr Yates won’t want to face her in a hurry.’
‘So what will we do?’ Violet asked. ‘Are we expected to clean it up or will a professional cleaning service do that?’
‘Cleaning service,’ Amy said. ‘I’m not going in there until the building’s secure. The ceiling might come down or something. Stef’s going to move back in with her mum and I’m going to move in with Heath. We’ve talked about moving in together for ages so this nails it. What about you? Will you stay with Cam now that you’re officially engaged?’
‘I... Yes, that’s what I’ll do,’ Violet said. What else could she say? No, Cam doesn’t want to live with anyone?
Cam came in at that point and smiled. It never failed to make her shiver when he looked at her like that. He stroked a hand down her back while he reached past her to take a mug out of the cupboard next to her. It was the lightest touch but it sent a tremor of longing through her flesh until her legs threatened to buckle.
Violet said goodbye to Amy and put her phone on the bench. ‘I have a slight problem...’
‘What’s wrong?’
She explained about the fire and the water damage. ‘So, I have to find somewhere else to live.’
It was hard to read his expression beyond the concern it showed while she had related the events of last night’s fire. He turned to one side to take out a tea bag from a box inside the pantry. ‘You can stay here as long as you need to. I told you that the other day.’
‘Yes, but—’
‘It’s fine, Violet, really.’
‘No, it’s not fine,’ Violet said. ‘A couple of weeks is okay, but any longer than that and things will get complicated.’ More complicated than they already were.
‘What if I help you find a place?’
‘You don’t have to do that.’
‘I’d like to,’ he said. ‘It’ll mean I can give the security a once-over.’
Violet gave him a grateful smile. ‘That would be great, thanks.’ She waited a beat before adding, ‘What’s happening with the contract with Nicolaides? Is it secure yet?’
‘Not yet.’ Cam pulled out one of the breakfast-bar stools. ‘I have some drawings to finalise. Sophia keeps altering the design, I suspect because she wants to drag out the process.’
‘Has she sent you any more texts?’
‘A couple.’
Jealousy surged in Violet’s gut. ‘When’s she going to get the message? What is wrong with her?’
He gave a loose shrug. ‘Some women don’t know the meaning of the word no.’
Violet would have to learn it herself and in a hurry. ‘I think it’s disgusting how she openly lusts over you while her husband is watching. Why does he put up with it?’
‘He’s too frightened to lose her,’ Cam said. ‘She’s twenty years younger than him. And she brings a lot of money to the relationship. Her father left her his empire. It’s worth a lot of money.’
‘I wouldn’t care how much money someone had. If I couldn’t trust them, then that would be it. Goodbye. Have a good life.’
He stroked a fingertip down her cheek, his smile gently teasing. ‘If you think Sophia’s bad, wait till you meet my father’s fiancée.’
Violet frowned. ‘You want me to meet her?’
‘My dad’s organised drinks on Wednesday night,’ Cam said. ‘If you’d rather not go, then—’
‘No, it’s okay. Of course I’ll go. You went to my boring old office party, the least I can do is come with you for drinks with your father.’
* * *
Cam’s father, Ross, had arranged to meet them at a boutique hotel in the centre of London. Violet hadn’t met Ross McKinnon before but she had seen photos of him in the press. He was not quite as tall as Cam and his figure showed signs of the overly indulgent life he led. His features had none of the sharply chiselled definition of Cam’s, and while he still had a full head of thick hair, it was liberally sprinkled with grey. His eyes, however, were the same dark blue but without the healthy clarity of Cam’s. And they had a tendency to wander to Violet’s breasts with rather annoying frequency.
‘So this is the girl who’s stolen my son’s hard heart,’ Ross said. ‘Congratulations and welcome to the family.’
‘Thank you,’ Violet said.
Ross pushed his fiancée forward. ‘This is Tatiana, my wife as of next weekend. We should have made it a double wedding, eh, Cameron?’
Cam looked like he was in some sort of gastric pain. ‘Wouldn’t want to steal your thunder.’
Violet took the young woman’s hand and smiled. ‘Lovely to meet you.’
Tatiana’s smile came with a don’t-mess-with-me warning. ‘Likewise.’
Cam was doing his best to be polite but Violet could tell he was uncomfortable being around his father and new partner. Ross dominated the conversation with occasional interjections from Tatiana, followed by numerous public displays of affection that made Violet feel she was on the set of a B-grade porn movie. Clearly she wasn’t the only one as several heads kept turning at the bar, followed by snickers.
Ross showed no interest in Cam’s life. It shocked Violet that his father could sit for an hour and a half in his son’s company and not once ask a single question about his work or anything to do with his private life. It made her feel sad for Cam to have had such a selfish parent who acted like a narcissistic teenager instead of an adult.
Violet was relieved when Cam got to his feet and said they had to leave.
‘But we haven’t told you what we’ve got planned for the honeymoon,’ Ross said.
‘Isn’t that supposed to be bad luck?’ Cam said with a pointed look.
Ross’s face darkened. ‘You can’t help yourself, can you? But Tatiana is the one. I know it as sure as I’m standing here.’
‘Good for you.’ Cam’s tone had a hint of cynicism to it and Violet wondered how many times he had heard exactly the same thing from his father. Ross was the sort of man who treated women as trophies to be draped on his arm and summarily dismissed when they ceased to pander to his bloated ego.
Violet quickly offered her hand to Ross and Tatiana. ‘It was lovely to meet you. I hope the wedding goes well.’
Ross frowned. ‘But aren’t you coming with Cameron?’
Violet realised her gaffe too late. ‘Erm...yes, of course, if that’s what you’d like.’
‘You’re part of the family now,’ Ross said. ‘We’d be delighted to have you share in our special day, wouldn’t we, babe?’
Tatiana’s smile was cool. ‘But of course. I’ll aim the bouquet in your direction, shall I?’
Violet’s smile felt like it was stitched in place. ‘That’d be great.’
* * *
Cam took her by the hand and led her out of the hotel. ‘I did warn you.’
‘How on earth do you stand him?’ Violet said. ‘He’s impossibly self-centred. He didn’t ask you a single thing about your work or anything to do with you. It was all about him. How amazing he is and how successful and rich. And Tatiana looks like she’s young enough to be his daughter. What on earth does she see in him?’
‘He paid for her boob job.’
Violet rolled her eyes. She walked a few more paces with him before adding, ‘I’m sorry about the wedding gaffe. I didn’t think. Do you think they suspected anything was amiss?’
‘Probably not,’ Cam said. ‘They’re too focused on themselves.’
‘Poor you,’ Violet said.
He gave a soft smile. ‘You want to grab a bite to eat before we go home?’
Go home. How...permanent and cosy that sounded. ‘Sure. Where did you have in mind?’
‘Somewhere on the other side of the city so there’s no chance my father and Tatiana will chance upon us.’
Violet gave him a sympathetic look. ‘I swear I am never going to complain about my family ever again.’
‘There’s no such thing as a perfect family,’ he said. ‘But I have to admit yours comes pretty close.’
Violet adored her family. They were supportive and loving and always there for her. But the pressure to live up to the standards her parents had modelled for her always made her feel as if she wasn’t quite good enough, that she would never be able to do as brilliant a job as they had of finding love and keeping it. It was one of the reasons she had never told her mother or her sisters about what had happened at that party. Although she knew they would be nothing but supportive and concerned, she’d always worried they would see her differently...as damaged in some way.
‘I know, but it’s hard to live up to, you know? What if I don’t find someone as perfect as my dad is for my mum? They’re such a great team. I don’t want to settle for less but I’m worried I might miss out. I want to have kids. That makes me feel under even more pressure. It’s all right for guys; you can have kids when you’re ninety. It’s different for women.’
‘If it’s going to happen it’ll happen,’ he said. ‘You can’t force these things.’
‘Easy for you to say. You have a queue of women waiting to hook up with you.’
He gave her hand a tiny squeeze. ‘I’m only interested in one woman at the moment.’
At the moment.
How could she forget the clock ticking on their relationship? It was front and centre in her mind. Each day that passed was another day closer to when they would go back to being friends. Friends without benefits. It would be torture to be around Cam without being able to touch him, to kiss him, to wrap her arms around him and feel his body stir against her. It would be torture to see him date other women, knowing they were experiencing the explosive passion and pleasure of being in his arms.
What if she never found someone as perfect for her as Cam? What if she ended up alone and had to be satisfied with being an aunty or godmother instead of the mother she longed to be? She had been embroidering baby clothes since she was a teenager. She’d made them for her sisters and brother’s wife Zoe each time they were expecting but she had her own private stash of clothes. It was her version of a hope chest. Every time she looked at those little vests and booties and bibs she felt an ache of longing. But it wasn’t just about having a baby, she realised with a jolt. She wanted to have Cam’s baby. She couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than to be with him, not just for Christmas but for ever.
* * *
After dinner they walked hand in hand through the Christmas wonderland of London’s streets. Violet had always loved Christmas in her adopted city but being with Cam made the lights seem all the brighter, the colours all the more vivid, the hype of the festive season all the more exciting. When they walked past the Somerset House ice-skating rink, Cam stopped and looked down at her with a twinkling look. ‘Fancy a quick twirl to work off dinner?’
Violet looked at the gloriously lit rink with the beautifully decorated Christmas tree at one end. She had skated there a couple of times with Stef and Amy but she’d felt awkward because they had brought their boyfriends. The boys had offered to partner her but she’d felt so uncomfortable she’d pretended to have a sore ankle rather than take them up on their offer. ‘I’m not very good at it...’ she said. ‘And I’m not wearing the right clothes.’
‘Excuses, excuses,’ Cam said. ‘It won’t take long to go home and change.’
Within a little while they were back at the rink dressed in jeans and jackets and hats and gloves. Violet felt like a foal on stilts until Cam took her by the hand and led her around until she felt more secure. He looked like he’d been skating all his life, his balance and agility making her attempts look rather paltry in comparison.
‘You’re doing great,’ he said, wrapping one arm around her waist. ‘Let’s do a complete circuit. Ready?’
Violet leaned into his body and went with him in graceful sweeps and swishes that made the cold air rush past her face. It was exhilarating to be moving so quickly and with his steady support she gained more and more confidence, even letting go of his hand at one point to do a twirl in front of him.
Cam took her hand again, smiling broadly. ‘What did I tell you? You’re a natural.’
‘Only with you.’ And not just with skating. How would she ever make love with someone else and feel the same level of pleasure? It didn’t seem possible. It wasn’t possible because there was no way she could ever feel the same about someone else.
Once they had given back their skates, they walked to the London Eye, where Cam paid for them to go on to look at the Christmas lights all over London. Violet had been on the giant Ferris wheel a couple of times but it was so much more special doing it with Cam. The city was a massive grid of twinkling lights, a wonderland of festive cheer that made all the children and most of the adults on board exclaim with wonder.
Violet turned in the circle of Cam’s arms to smile at him. ‘It’s amazing, isn’t it? It makes me get all excited about Christmas when usually I’m dreading it.’
A slight frown appeared on his brow. ‘Why do you dread it? I thought you loved spending Christmas with your family.’
Violet shifted her gaze to look at the fairyland below. ‘I do love it...mostly, it’s just I’m always the odd one out. The one without a partner. Apart from Grandad, of course.’
His hand stroked the small of her back. ‘You won’t be without a partner this year.’
But what about next year? Violet had to press her lips together to stop from saying it out loud. Once Christmas was over so too would their relationship come to an end. All the colour and sparkle and excitement and joy would be snuffed out, just like someone turning off the Christmas lights.
‘No one knows what the next year will bring,’ Cam said as if he had read her thoughts. ‘You could be married and pregnant by then.’
I wish...but only if it were to you. ‘I can’t see that happening.’ Violet waited a moment before adding, ‘Would you come to my wedding if I were to get married?’
Something flashed across his face as if pain had gripped him somewhere deep inside his body. ‘Would I be invited?’ His tone was light, almost teasing, but she could sense an undercurrent of something else. Something darker. Brooding.
‘Of course,’ Violet said. ‘You’re part of the family. It wouldn’t be a Drummond wedding if you weren’t there.’
‘As long as you don’t ask me to be the best man,’ he said with a grim look. ‘My father’s asked me to be his and that’ll be four times in a row.’
‘Wow, you must be an expert at best man speeches by now.’
‘Yeah, well, I hope this is the last time but I seriously doubt it.’
Violet thought of her parents and how loving and committed they were to each other and had been from the moment they’d met. They renewed their wedding vows every ten years and went back to the same cottage on the Isle of Skye where they’d spent their honeymoon on each and every anniversary. How had Cam dealt with his father’s casual approach to marriage? Ross McKinnon changed wives faster than a sports car changed gears. How embarrassing it must be for Cam to have to go through yet another wedding ceremony knowing it would probably end in divorce. ‘Maybe this time will be different,’ she said. ‘Maybe your dad is really in love this time.’
Cam’s expression was a picture of cynicism. ‘He doesn’t know the meaning of the word.’
