Читать книгу There Is A Time - A. Ray Lee - Страница 6

“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people…” (Isaiah 40:1)

We were preparing to move Mary from the viewing parlor into the chapel. The young minister, ready to deliver the eulogy and speak words of comfort to the family, was anxious. “I have never officiated at a service like this. Where should I stand during the final viewing?" he asked.

It was his first time to conduct a service with an open casket. At the conclusion of the service family and friends would come forward for a final viewing of the deceased. It is an occasion when raw emotions are often displayed as a family slowly passes by for a last farewell. There may be loud wailing as well as silent tears. A hand may reach out to touch the body with a loving pat or lips may gently brush a cheek as a relative reluctantly turns away. It is a drama which has elements of tragedy written throughout.

On this day, when the time came for the viewing, the weeping widow with several subdued children clinging desperately to her deliberately made their way forward. The widow wore a simple dress that obviously had been worn many times before. The children were dressed in clothing that did not fit well. Perhaps the clothes had been furnished by someone else for the sad occasion. All looked uncomfortable, even confused, as to what was expected of them.

I could only imagine what was going on in the mind of the widow. Were those tears of relief that she had been released from an abusive relationship? Or were they signs of the despair she felt now that death had taken away the only stability she had ever known? Did they arise out of the fear gripping her heart as she faced an unknown tomorrow? I thought I could see in the children’s eyes the hope that the public display of their emotions would soon be over so they could slip silently back into anonymity and the privacy of their sorrow.

My answer to the young minister’s question had perhaps been cryptic. It was “stand with the grieving family." In the company of grieving ones, that may be all we can do. We cannot replace their loss. We cannot in a moment, with magic words, make it all better. But we can stand with them and we can walk beside them as they deal with their sorrow.

We who minister in times of grief are commanded to be there for those who sorrow. God gave us a charge when through Isaiah he spoke the words, “Comfort ye my people." And we are given an example through the prophet Jeremiah who is remembered for his tears as he entered captivity with his vanquished nation.

There is comfort in “presence." Jesus prepared his disciples for the grief and loss they would experience at his death by promising them the presence of a Holy Comforter who would come into their lives to stand alongside them. He would be an advocate to walk with them through their heartaches and loss. The Comforter, as a Divine presence, would enter quietly into their grief and bring them peace.

If we are to bring peace for grieving individuals, we must enter gently into their presence. Hearts are fragile organs when under duress. We must tread softly. To walk with others in grief is a sacred trust. It is not an hour for admonitions and platitudes. It is not a time for lengthy conversations.

A few words out of one’s heart may have far greater impact than a doctrinally correct sermon or a carefully crafted discourse. It is not so much what we say as it is how we speak. To hide behind platitudes, as one pretends to care, and offer false consolation is unacceptable. Our words are often forgotten but the memory of our presence and attitude will linger.

When grief is fresh it is a time to just be there. The presence of a caring person can never replace the one that has been lost. But accompanied by a sincere heart it can bring consolation and hope.