Читать книгу There Is A Time - A. Ray Lee - Страница 7

“God shall wipe all tears from their eyes…” (Revelation 21:4)

Jean came to me with an unexpected request. The cancer with which she had been battling for some months had taken a turn for the worst. She and her husband Bob, prominent members of the church, had been vocal critics of my sermons and leadership style. When she had been admitted to the hospital I dutifully visited and tried to minister to her. But I must confess I felt ill at ease. On one occasion when Bob was there he was not receptive to my presence. On another occasion when the door to Jean’s room was ajar, I heard snatches of a conversation taking place within, the contents of which I will not reveal. Rather than intrude, I turned and walked away.

Beads of perspiration began to form on my brow as I searched my mind for clues as to what Jean was about to say. When she spoke her words came as a total surprise. She began her remarks by saying, “I appreciate the way you preach a funeral sermon.”

To say I was surprised would be a complete understatement. I had overheard her critique a few of my sermons with which she did not agree. To be honest, I could think of nothing for which she had ever expressed appreciation. After pausing a moment while she wiped away a tear, she continued, “I want you to preach my funeral." She must have read the look on my face as she added: “You do not tell a grieving family not to cry. Here," she said while handing me a sheet of paper, “are some scripture passages that have been important to me." Then she arose and left as quickly as she had come.

When Jean died I was in an awkward position. She had not indicated whether she had told Bob of her desire and I had not thought to ask. If not, how would he respond when I relayed it to him? Would he think I was intruding? He showed little emotion as I told him of Jean’s visit and our conversation. Perhaps I was secretly hoping he would tell me other arrangements had already been made as I offered to step aside if that was his desire. “No," he said with what I interpreted to be a great deal of reluctance, “if Jean asked you, then you can do it.” To be honest, the family took up most of the time for the service and I was given only a few minutes to speak.

In preparation for the service I was faced with a vital question. How can one minister to an outspoken critic who had shown little respect for one and the office one filled? Can one put aside personal feelings? I’m sure I am not the only minister who has faced a similar situation. It was not easy, but when I stood before the large crowd assembled for Jean’s funeral my personal feelings did not enter into what I said. Instead the faith of Jean and her dedicated service to her family and the church was stressed. Hope was offered through the ministry of the Holy Spirit of Comfort. Tears of grief were addressed with the assurance that God would wipe them away.

I did not talk about a glorious home coming and rejoicing in heaven. These may be appropriate topics for one who has lived a long and faithful life. For such, a celebration of life can be comforting, but not for a young mother who left behind four young children and a grieving husband who wondered how they would be able to live without her. Tears were appropriate for them and would serve as a valuable component of the grieving process. They would provide cleansing for emotions.

Tears are a sign of recognition that a loss has occurred. They are not unnoticed by God. In my later years I have often used the lyrics from Gordon Jenson's song “Tears Are a Language God Understands." Jesus cries with us as he did with Mary and Martha.

Often since that day I have had numerous people ask me to officiate at their funeral. I have learned to instruct them to write down their request and make sure it will be available to those involved in making final arrangements. Those requests have not always been honored. But I have learned not to inject myself into the situation. Often there are valid reasons a family may choose someone else. On a few occasions I have been told why and was not bothered by the change.