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42 School trip to Heston Farm, 1964. I maintain it was self-defence.

43 Press play on Track 9.

44 If he was particularly unlucky it would have been a Bouncing Betty. These horrible little devices are designed to spring three feet into the air before exploding and inflicting the maximum number of casualties on an enemy. I think they’ve won awards.

I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

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