Читать книгу Everything Happens as It Does - Albena Stambolova - Страница 16

10.

After the Fairy Tale’s End

Then he became frightened of Maria.

One night, he woke up and looked at his sleeping wife. He watched her for a long time. He was certain that she was not asleep. She lay perfectly still, as if absent from her body.

For the first time he wondered whether a human being had a beginning and an end. He looked at her. Maria was sleeping naked, covered by her hair as if with a blanket. Her breath was barely perceptible. No adjectives could describe her for him. He couldn’t say that she was kind, for example, or anything like that. This creature had simply appeared and in the face of this fact Philip was powerless. He was overcome with despair. What were his, or her feelings? Only the dispersing of stardust.

Suddenly, he realized that Maria was staring at him. Perhaps everyone who has just risen from sleep had this look in their eyes. Maria’s look was evil. At last, something definite. Philip had come to know something and now he could see she did not like it. Her eyes stared unblinkingly, as if she had no eyelids.

He got up from the bed and left the room.

After this first onrush of fear, Philip tried to talk to his brother. His brother told him that Maria was breaking all accepted codes of behavior.

At first he did not understand what this meant. Gradually, it dawned on him that his brother was accusing him of being disloyal. Toward himself, toward his family, and his friends. The sound of these trivial words, which he hadn’t heard pronounced for a while, unsettled him.

That same night, Maria refused to sleep with him, and he knew her refusal was going to last.

Philip tried to lose himself in his work. From then on, he often slept at the hospital, he worked night shifts, and became better at his job. He was called in more often for criminal cases. He discovered courtrooms.

But he also started drinking. And drinking brought back his ability to speak.