Читать книгу A Trap for a Thought-Form. Playing Another Reality. M.A. Bulgakov award - Alexandra Kryuchkova - Страница 14

I came to the Mansion a little earlier to look for the Portal. The Giant Mirror next to the stage was definitely a portal, too, but not the main one. All portals differed, and if you were about to leave…

“‘Zigzags of Life’ isn’t it too trivial a title for the book of Baba Yaga?” a familiar voice came from behind me. “Do you make presentation of another witch today?”

“Hello, Guardian!” I smiled. “You guessed it right! By the way, the sounds ‘z’ and ‘g’ create vibrations to remove the soul out of the body, they are used by some dream hackers.”

The guests were already gathering in the hall, but they all seemed to notice neither me nor the Guardian, sitting at the table next to me. The Guardian, on the contrary, had been watching me and the guests with genuine interest, until he gave his verdict.

“What a lot of Impurity one can meet in the Writers’ Union!”

“Let me tell you a terrible secret: there are a lot of dark spirits or impurities everywhere!”

After drinking half a cup of double espresso with milk, I warmed up and emerged out of my sleepy state.

“I came earlier in order to…”

“I know,” the Guardian nodded, “but I can’t help you.”

“It’s not this portal, you are guarding here, is it?” I whispered, glancing towards the Giant Mirror.

The Guardian nodded in agreement, “Not the Mirror!”

I finished my coffee and looked at the clock. There were still about ten minutes left before the presentation, and I slipped into the corridor that led to the Dungeon. However, having sailed to the dead end and back, I realized that there were portals at every turn in the Mansion, including the large stage of the local Theater and the pantry, where the materialized gloves had disappeared. Even the ordinary walls inside the Dungeon corridor were portals as well. But it was too “cold” there for the most powerful one.

For some reason, I associated the Dungeon with the title of the presented book, “Zigzags of Life”, existing within the Labyrinth of Destiny, into which each of us had descended from Heaven and was looking for a way out, just as I descended into the Dungeon in search of my Portal.

I returned to the half-cafe half-Mirror hall. The Guardian had drawn the curtains, limiting our literary space. I stepped onto the stage and invited a charming old woman in her ninth decade, still actively practicing magic in her life, when suddenly… Yes, it was hard to believe! – at a table in the back of the hall appeared… Roman.

That morning I woke up with a clear thought, he was a dream. He hadn’t come to the Mansion. It was just a trick of my agonizing Consciousness, which in every possible way was resisting the decision to slip away into the Other Reality during the last, the 40^th party in the Mansion. Clinging to life, Consciousness threw a phantom from my past that could soften my heart to rewrite the life script. I even dreamed of Roman that night, even with a small belly, like in the very dream I felt happy of having finally found him.

However, he appeared again. Roman. My non-existent romance. He smiled watching me on the stage with interest.

When I reached the break for the autograph session of the Ninth decade, I sailed up to him.

“I’ve dreamed of you today,” I whispered, not adding “darling” from fear.

“Perhaps we all are dreams of each other, but this is not a reason to lose darlings. Besides, I did your home task and made a plan for the next 12 months. What does your plan consist of, Alice? I hope you didn’t forget to include my name as well. At least as your student?”

I silently scanned Roman and couldn’t understand what was wrong. Wrong in the whole story: the sudden snowfall of Roman and Pasha’s puzzles. Why? What for? I couldn’t allow myself…

“Okay, Alice, silence is a sign of agreement,” Roman smiled. “Do you know what impressed me in the most charming Baba Yaga of today?”

“How easily did she fly onto the stage?”

“With what ease, joy, tenderness, and without any complexes, she recalled a magical night with her lover in their years. How old was she then? The Witch with ‘The Devil’s Trill’ looked half her age! However, as you correctly noted at the presentation, age for her, judging by the book, is a sore point, as well as the age difference between…”

I went cold and couldn’t utter a word.

“So what’s the next task, Master?”

At that moment, a heavy hand landed on my shoulder. I turned around and saw the King of Swords.

“Do you mind if I walk you home after the Open Mic?” he asked.

I rashly glanced at Roman with the look that gives away any girl. However, Roman just smiled like saying, “I can’t stay here that long.”

“Okay,” I replied to the King of Swords, and his heavy hand immediately disappeared from my shoulder.

“Do you like him?” Roman asked silently.

“The King of Swords never becomes the King of Cups!”

The Guardian rang the bell, and the break was over.

“You asked me about the next task,” I returned to the ground. “Audit your swamp!”

Task No. 2. INVENTORY

…Make an inventory of all things and objects, including clothes, souvenirs, other people’s gifts, books, magazines, photographs and even files on your electronic device – basically, of everything in your space.

The space should be filled with living energy working for you. Every object has a unique energy, but perhaps some of them have already fulfilled their purpose, and some are not yours at all. Review each item. What feelings does it evoke in you? Decide whether there is a place for it in your world here and now. If it causes negative emotions or none at all, this is not yours, say “thank you” and part with it without regret, with joy. Since the world doesn’t tolerate emptiness, something new will definitely replace the old…

The task is to open your door for the Future…

I went onto the stage and announced the Open Mic. The Cat was already sitting in Roman’s place.

***

I returned home and looked around my swamp.

“Should I sort things out on the weekend? Maybe. To take half to church. Two literary parties have already passed, and the 40^th is just around the corner. I will spend the 40^th and breathe out: freedom! F-R-E-E-D-O-M!

The 38 evenings left are enough, of course, to find the main Portal in the Mansion. It can’t sneak away from me! The Guardian has no right to suggest, but the Mansion is not the Winter Palace, it’s quite tiny. And nothing would keep me here anymore. Nothing and no one!”

***

“Hi, my girl. How u?”

“It’s 2 a.m.”

“Alone?”

“Pasha…”

“Like u much but u so distance. Me 4 u how?.. If want. How u want?”

“What’s happened with you, Pasha? Why did you suddenly remember me? What for? I am older than you. You are such a beautiful, kind boy… Forget!”

“Understand. Problem age only? No nerves! 4 me no difference u older. I like u much. Many years like. Feel good with u. Will love always. No leave u. Never. True say 2 u. I call?”

He called me, but I dropped it. What was going on looked like the delirium of a madman. I got out of bed, reached the Tarot cards in the darkness, turned on the nightlight.

Incredible! “The Knight of Cups”, “The Magician” and “The Devil” again! They haunted me. But…

“Now… what for?”