Читать книгу A Trap for a Thought-Form. Playing Another Reality. M.A. Bulgakov award - Alexandra Kryuchkova - Страница 15

“Funny poster!” the Guardian whispered softly as he helped me remove my furs. “Is it true that the author is a prankster?”

“You didn’t read the poster carefully. His book is called ‘The Sinner’! Anyway, I haven’t tried.”

Leaving my cup of coffee on the table, almost forever registered for me, I ducked into the next room of the museum. The Guardian followed me.

“Here is a box for letters to the Creator,” he said.

“And the postbox at the door outside?”

“Yes, there is the second one.”

“I sent him my poems. Many years ago, Natasha Nikiforova invited me to the action of the ‘Evening Moscow’ TV to read poetry on the Ponds. It was the similar blizzard as today. The verses I had read, I dropped into the postbox at the Door to the Mansion. I had no pen with me, so I sent poetry instead of a letter.”

The Guardian took a pen and a paper notepad out of his pocket.

“Write it now,” he suddenly whispered, coming close to me.

“Everything has already been decided,” I answered categorically, hanging in thought, “Now what for?”

For some reason, I wanted to hug the Guardian, but I stood like an idol. And he hugged me.

“Here it is!!!” I suddenly felt something and took a step aside. “The Portal is here, isn’t it?”

The Guardian chuckled, but he had no time to answer, because the door to the room opened slightly, and the Cat appeared on the threshold.

“Meow?!” he said in surprise.

I left the room without writing anything to the Creator.

***

The Sinner stood embarrassed on the stage, as if in front of Christ. The hall was crowded with women. While the hero of the party was reciting poems, perceived as a divine revelation in advance, the women, in their dreams, already wrapped their arms around his neck and whispered all sorts of tenderness in his ears…

I returned to my table. Roman emerged from the crowd slyly smiling, and I heard his thoughts in my mind.

“How is your swamp doing, Alice? Did you throw away a lot of stuff?”

“Hello!”

Roman sat down next to me and held out his hand. I cautiously held out mine in response. He looked at me, stroking the lines on my palm and probably changing something in them.

“Tell me, Alice, is this a magic place?”

“Yes, sure.”

“Should it somehow stir up the reality of whoever comes in contact with it?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Do you still want to leave?”

I withdrew my hand with a thought, “How does he know why I am here?”

“In your previous novel, you have already left the world,” having read my thoughts, Roman answered in the same mental way. “So, hasn’t your reality changed?”

“What do you mean?” I asked to clarify.

“Maybe what… or maybe whom,” I heard in response.

“I hope your next home task is… to sin?” Roman grinned aloud, nodding at the Sinner. “By the way, what swamp is he from?”

“The task is to repent,” I sighed. “He works in a school.”

“Sinners work in schools. Indeed, where else would they work? Why didn’t I guess it myself! Why to repent, Alice? Do you think those people who hurt others, and you in particular, really repented?”

“Leave it.”

“But they hurt you! Even deadly. Which of them ended up asking for forgiveness? No one? Ah-ah-ah! It’s not fair, is it?”

“Up there…”

“In Heaven?” Roman grinned venomously, reminding me of Ray. “And what did they do there, in Heaven, for you, so clean and bright? Have your offenders been punished? Was the balance of the Forces restored? Maybe they changed your life for the better? What kind of repentance are we talking about? Your abusers got their share of highs and continue to get maximum of Life! And you are dreaming about Death!”

I abruptly got up from the table, but immediately collided with…

“It’s time to announce the Open Mic,” the Guardian said.

“Yes, a couple of minutes,” I nodded and turned to Roman. “They will never become true magicians. Write it down in your notebook. Did you buy it for nothing?”

Task No. 3. FORGIVENESS

…Start remembering your life from the very beginning, where you remember it from. The first person that will come to your mind is most likely your mother…

Go over your personal history for each person with whom you have come in contact in life, from your acquaintance to its completion or to the present moment, if you are still in contact, try to remember everything…

Ask to forgive you for what:

* you remember, and you feel uneasy at heart,

* you don’t remember, or maybe you don’t even know, but a person might have been inadvertently offended by you…

You must mentally relive your life anew, with each of those who were sent to you from Above. There was nothing accidental even in fleeting people. They and you, and each of us, are Teacher and Student at the same time.

Ask everyone to forgive you preferably verbally, by calling or meeting, if these people are alive… or mentally… You can write a letter in your magic notebook, too.

At the end of the work, you will face the most difficult thing – to forgive each of them. To forgive and let go forever without any emotions, except gratitude, so that later, remembering the person, nothing would shudder in your soul or would respond with pain.

Otherwise, you won’t be able to become what you really are, the Magician.

***

Having returned home, I lit the candles and began to scroll through my life, checking myself for the task I had given to Roman that evening, whether anyone could make me feel uneasy on the edge of leaving.

“How u, my girl?” a message appeared on the phone.

“Thank you, I am okay.”

“I come 2 u. Want?”

“Right now?!”

“Want 2 see u. U? Yes or not? Tell true. I come. No know when but not problem 2 come. When can fly, I come. I see Internet – fly cancelled. Borders closed. All closed. I come & go coffee with u! Tell u want 2. Yes?”