Читать книгу Tales of Ghosts. Playing Another Reality. Edgar Allan Poe award - Alexandra Kryuchkova - Страница 16

We took a taxi to Sheremetyevo. The driver turned out to be a cheerful and talkative… tour guide. He knew several foreign languages, worked with tourist groups in Moscow and dreamed of starting his own business.

“I will definitely open a tour agency! I am an Aries, and Aries always achieve their goal!” the driver exclaimed optimistically, saying goodbye to us at the airport.

Katya was an Aries, too.

As we entered the airport building, we came upon a bookstore. Instantly scanning the contents of the shelves, Katya fixed her eyes on some books and pulled my sleeve.

“Look, here it is, Kailash!!! Let’s buy them all!”

It was a multi-volume book about the Tibetan ‘city of Gods’. Everything related to philosophy, Tibet and the Unknown was the most important for Katya, because she was in the search of the keys to the great mysteries of the Universe. Since childhood, she was haunted by unusual dreams, mysterious voices and ghostly visions. Of course, one can laugh at the otherworldly ‘things’, but Katya’s dreams came true. And even I, a notorious skeptic, began to believe the signs.

“To carry these volumes with you? What’s the point?” I objected. “Let’s buy them on return.”

During vacation, I planned to read in electronic form the work of Katya, her thesis on philosophy “The Sense of Life and Death”, and an extra kilo of printed books in my backpack caused me nothing but rejection.

On the plane, Katya periodically recalled and excitedly shared with me some interesting facts about the mysterious Mount Kailash, located in the distant Himalayas, about which I really knew nothing at that time.

“And I would give a lot to get to this Mountain! Perhaps even my lifetime! They say there is a point of confluence of parallel worlds there, a portal, you know? If you’re ready, you’ll be let in! Many people went to Kailash, but not all came back! And some of those who returned grew old instantly! I’m sure, Time flows differently there! Roerich painted both Kailash and the mountains nearby. He was allowed into the caves where the bodies of giants, people of the previous race, are still kept! Can you imagine?!”

I didn’t understand much of the meanings she put into her words, but the girls’ enthusiastic tirades require encouragement.

“You’re Aries, so you will definitely get to Kailash! But why should you give life to see it?”

***

We stayed in a very beautiful hotel, built in the style of a medieval castle, in a place surrounded by mountains, which were growing even out of the sea.

That day we had lunch at a restaurant on the beach, and Katya remembered me again about her ‘beloved’.

“I dreamed of Kailash a long time ago, in childhood, and more than once. I was standing at the entrance to a cave and looking into a large stone mirror, as if someone had polished a piece of the mountain very smoothly. My mother was reflected in the mirror behind me. I turned around, but there was no mother there. I turned back to the mirror, and my mother was still smiling in the mirror…”

I was about to object to her about the stone mirrors, but at that moment an elderly lady, walking nearby with a bowl of soup, stopped in front of us and passed her hand over Katya’s head.

“The channel is open!” she said in a loud voice. “And the pillar is up to the sky! Your soul is so old! Is this the last time you live here?”

Katya and I looked at each other, and the woman had already gone her own way, obviously not eager to enter into discussions.

***

I booked a lot of different excursions. That day we went rafting on the river of the 4^th level of difficulty. Neither me nor Katya had rafted before, and we were promised an unforgettable experience. We had a long drive through the mountains in an old minibus, listening to beautiful but sad songs.

“If I die, will you be sad?” Katya asked suddenly and clung to my shoulder.

“What the hell are you talking about!” I muttered.

Now, recalling these episodes, I wonder why we don’t say kind words to our loved ones, don’t support them in their moments of sadness. Was it hard for me to answer something like, ‘Honey, of course, I’m going to be not simply sad, but damn sad! Please, don’t die!’ No, on the contrary, I grumbled!

When Katya put on a helmet and a vest before the rafting, she looked like a twelve-year-old girl, although she always looked younger than her years. I would like Katya to give birth to my daughter, but all the time – how many years? – I put off the important decision ‘for a while’.

I took a picture of Katya against the backdrop of a stormy river and a boat. We signed an agreement that the organizers didn’t bear any responsibility for our lives and the like. After the briefing, we bravely rushed into ‘the battle’, not yet knowing that in one of the rapids, we were going to face, a tourist like us had recently died.

The instructor’s name was Sam. Originally from Nepal, he spoke English and knew a few words in Russian. I saw Katya’s eyes light up.

“Sam,” she exclaimed, “have you seen Kailash?!”

“Oh, Kailash! This is a great mountain near my country!” Sam said proudly and looked up at the sky.

At that moment we were surrounded by delightful landscapes of towering mountains. And, to be honest, I didn’t understand, what could be so extraordinary in some Kailash! There were a lot of mountains on Earth! I seemed to be the only one who hadn’t sung praises to Kailash yet.

Our boat didn’t capsize in the end, although two men did fall out of it.

***

We spent the next two days among the ruins of ancient towns.

“I seem to be able to fly over to that column!” confessed Katya, standing on top of a nameless hill with the remains of a temple.

“No, no, don’t, don’t try!” I stopped her.

“And people of previous civilizations could fly! Just imagine, with the power of their own thoughts, they moved heavy stones and even mountains!”

“Are you talking about Kailash again?! Change mountain! There are a lot of them!”

Katya pursed her lips in resentment and fell silent, but soon a local resident approached us, offering a parasailing, and I sent her to fly first over the sea, and then over the mountains.

Katya was an outgoing girl. Yes, a girl…

It would seem that her tragic life experience, many times greater than my own, should instantly turn any creature into an old one, but Katya looked young and remained a child in her soul.

However, she managed to combine the incongruous, was drawn to everything out of standard, loved extreme sports and sometimes, as it seemed to me, flirted with death. Katya was not afraid of it, but she was afraid of… spiders! Can you imagine? Afraid of insects, but not of dying! Strong-willed and kind, smart and beautiful, which was already a rarity, and at the same time completely defenseless, she clearly needed a strong male shoulder nearby.

Probably, I loved her, but I was afraid to admit it to myself … I was afraid of responsibility and of losing my own independence … I neither expressed my love openly nor pampered Katya.

For example, when we went for a walk in the local evening bazaar, she saw a tiny pyramid of multi-colored onyx.

“Look, how beautiful it is!” Katya exclaimed. “Pyramids normalize, strengthen and focus energy, turning it in the right direction! They also translate the earthly into the heavenly! Every pyramid is real magic! They say the whole complex of mountains around Kailash is a city of various pyramids!”

The pyramid cost a penny, but I defiantly ignored the transparent hint. Why didn’t I buy Katya a piece of her coveted magic? I was already jealous of Katya to Kailash with all the fibers of my soul and absolutely indifferent to the pyramids, since I understood nothing in them. Most likely, I think now, that ‘not buying’ was my subconscious protest as a refusal to admit to myself that Katya knew something I didn’t know, that during our shared life she had become more well-read and advanced in the Otherworld, she had grown a lot, overtaken me in many ways…

***

Returning to the hotel after a walk along the sea, we heard a sudden shout behind us and looked back. A man in a white T-shirt with the logo of a large travel company for some reason desperately waved his hands, looking at us point-blank. We froze, and the man ran up to us.

“Are you refusing our night excursion?” he asked Katya.

“What do you mean?” she wondered.

“You bought it from me half an hour ago at the Sun Hotel!” the travel agent exclaimed and took out his notebook. “Here you are… Svetlana!”

“No, you are confusing something. I’m not Svetlana, I’m Katya!”

“Besides, my friend,” I felt like showing my importance, “we are from another hotel, and we are leaving tomorrow morning. So, we have no time for night excursions!”

“Blimey! Sorry! It means the girl, settled in the Sun Hotel, is your exact copy!”

The man apologized again and left.

“A bad sign,” Katya said and became gloomy. “Copies are met shortly before the death of their original. Or loved ones see the look-alikes of those who are about to die.”

“Come on! You haven’t seen Svetlana!”

However, it’s no use arguing with women. So, I decided…

…yes, that was my decision! – that’s the trouble! – that’s why I’m still replaying that trip in my head day after day… I decided to cheer Katya up! Instead of proceeding to the room to get our luggage ready for the trip, I suggested extending the last night of our vacation by attending an outdoor entertainment show.

That night, local dance groups made a performance on the territory of our hotel. Between dances, fakirs and other magicians demonstrated tricks, involving the tourists. Katya was clearly bored.

“Are you dreaming of Kailash?” I asked, barely restraining myself so as not to be sarcastic.

“Anyway, I need to get to him. They say whoever walks Kailash around 108 times will never come back on Earth! And I don’t want to incarnate anymore!”

I got angry… and… – yes, it was me again! – when the fakir started inviting those who wanted to get a portion of adrenaline before going to bed, I pushed Katya to the stage.

“Kailash will wait!” I said.

Two guys in national costumes put Katya on the floor and covered her belly with a wooden board, and the third one, blindfolded, standing with his back to her, began to throw knives at Katya, over his shoulder, one after another, without a break. And they hit the board until another knife, flying by, crashed into the floor, and the one thrown next…

Periodically replaying on my internal screen, like a video, both that evening and our years together, I blame myself more and more… And not for having sent Katya to the stage, because I did not wish her death at all! I got used so much to the constant presence of Katya somewhere nearby, that I stopped appreciating such a miracle in my life, so they took her away from me…

Perhaps it was Kailash himself…

September 2003