Читать книгу Midwives On-Call - Алисон Робертс - Страница 20

FOR A WOMAN who had never dated, Isla got a crash course and the next two weeks were blissful. Even the hard parts, like attending Archie’s funeral in the hospital chapel, were made better for being together.

‘Thanks for everything you did, Isla,’ Donna said as they said their farewells after the service. ‘Especially with Jessica.’

‘How is she doing?’ Isla asked.

‘She’s upset, of course, but she really does know that none of this was her fault. She’s so glad that they had that lovely evening together and that last day.’ Donna turned to Alessi. ‘Thank …’ she attempted, then broke down, and Alessi gave her a cuddle.

‘He was such a beautiful boy,’ he said. ‘I am so sorry that there wasn’t more that could be done. You made the right choice, Donna. He got a whole day of being loved and cuddled by his mum and dad and big sister.’

Isla, who never cried, could feel tears at the backs of her eyes as Donna wept and nodded and then pulled away. ‘I need to get back up to the unit for Elijah.’

‘Go,’ Alessi said. ‘I will see you up there soon.’

He walked up towards Maternity with Isla. He’d felt her standing rigid beside him during the service and had noted that not a tear had been shed by her.

‘Awful, wasn’t it?’ Alessi said.

‘Yep.’

‘Does nothing move you to tears, Isla?’

She halted and turned to face him. ‘Excuse me?’

‘I’m just commenting …’

‘What, because I don’t break down and cry I’m not upset?’

‘I never said that,’ Alessi answered calmly. ‘I was just asking if anything moves you to tears. Babies’ funerals are very difficult.’

‘I agree.’

‘Why do you hold back?’

‘What, because I don’t cry …’

‘You hold back in everything, Isla,’ he said.

It wasn’t a row, more an observation, and one Isla pondered as she set up that night for TMTB.

She was pleased to see that Ruby was back.

‘Are we getting pizza tonight?’ Ruby asked, and Isla nodded.

‘We are. I’ve already ordered it so it should be here soon. How are you doing, Ruby?’

‘I’ve got my scan tomorrow afternoon.’

‘Is anyone coming with you?’ Isla asked, and Ruby shook her head. ‘Would you like me to come with you?’

‘No, thanks.’

‘Well, if you change your mind just ask them to page me.’

As everyone gathered there was one noticeable absence and Isla was delighted to tell the group the happy news. ‘Alison had a little girl on Monday,’ Isla said. ‘The birth went really well and the baby is beautiful. I’ve got a photo on my phone that Alison asked me to show you.’

Her phone was passed around and Isla loved watching the smile on each of the young women’s faces. It was always a nice time but it was also a little confronting for some of the group as they realised that some day soon it would be their baby being spoken about in the group. Clearly it was too much for Ruby because she quickly passed on the phone.

Isla was worried for the young girl and though Ruby hung around afterwards to take the last of the pizza, still she didn’t want to speak with Isla and made her excuses and dashed off.

She needed someone she gelled with, Isla thought. Isla took no offence that that person might not be herself and the next day, when Ruby didn’t page Isla to come for the ultrasound, Isla was actually trying to think who might be the best fit for Ruby when her pager went off.

‘Isla, it’s Darcie. I was wondering if you could come down to the antenatal clinic. I’ve got a patient, Ruby, and—’

‘I know Ruby.’ Isla smiled. ‘Did she change her mind?’

‘Sorry?’

‘I offered to come with her for her ultrasound but she said no.’

‘Well, she’s asked for you now. Isla, there’s an anomaly on the ultrasound. The baby has spina bifida. The poor kid has had the most terrible afternoon. Loads of tests and specialists. Heinz was speaking with her and she’s got terribly upset …’

Isla groaned. As brilliant as Heinz, a paediatric neurologist, was, his people skills weren’t the best. ‘He broached termination and Ruby is beside herself.’

‘I’ll be there now. Who’s the midwife?’ Isla asked, wondering why she hadn’t been told about this long ago. She knew Ruby’s ultrasound had been scheduled for two.

‘Lucas,’ Darcie said, and then hesitated. ‘I didn’t call him in till just before that.’

‘I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you,’ Isla said swiftly, ‘but sort it out. I don’t care if you don’t get on, I don’t care if you’re my flatmate. I care about my patients.’

She was furious as she walked down the corridor but took a calming breath as she stepped into the room. Lucas was sitting with a teary Ruby, who had clearly been through the wringer. She looked so young and vulnerable and she should have had an advocate with her, a friend, anyone, but instead she’d faced it all pretty much alone.

‘It’s okay, Ruby …’ Isla said, but it was the wrong thing to say because an angry Ruby jumped to her feet.

‘No, it isn’t!’ Ruby said. ‘I’ve just been told that it isn’t all right …’

‘Ruby,’ Isla said, ‘I know it’s so much to take in.’ She just wanted to get her away from the clinic for a while, to talk to her without everyone hanging around. ‘Why don’t we go to the canteen?’

‘I don’t want to go the canteen with you, you stuck-up cow,’ Ruby said. ‘I just want …’ She didn’t finish but instead ran off. Isla went after her but she knew it was pointless.

‘She just needs some time,’ Darcie said when Isla saw her.

‘I know,’ Isla said, and looked at Darcie. ‘I should have been told. Just because you and Lucas aren’t talking—’

‘Hey!’ Darcie broke in. ‘Lucas did a CTG on a thirty-five-weeker at two and found no heartbeat. I’m going to deliver her tonight. He’s been brilliant, he’s been in with Mum and Dad all afternoon. Yes, we’ve had a row and we don’t get on, but my not telling him about Ruby had nothing to do with that. We were swamped. I had no idea Heinz was going to talk to her, I just thought he was looking through the scans.’

‘Isla—’

Isla turned as Lucas knocked on the door. ‘Allegra Manos is here, she said you were to be paged when she arrived.’

‘Thanks.’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t let you know about Ruby,’ Lucas added. ‘I was in with a mum—’

‘Darcie explained.’ Isla let out a tense breath. ‘Sorry about that, Darcie.’

‘Apology accepted.’ Darcie smiled. ‘It’s just been one of those awful afternoons.’

Not that the other patients could know that, so both Isla and Darcie pushed out a smile and went in to see Allegra.

She looked fantastic and the baby seemed to be doing just fine.

‘Everything,’ Darcie said as she examined Allegra, ‘is looking great. The baby is head down and a nice size and there’s lots of fluid. How are the movements?’

‘Lots of them,’ Allegra said.

Darcie spoke at length with Allegra about a trial of labour and told her that they would part insert an epidural. ‘It won’t stop you from moving around but it means that if we do need to move to a Caesarean then everything will be set up, so we can move quickly if we have to and you can also stay awake.’

Darcie answered a few more of Allegra’s questions. ‘I’ll be seeing you weekly from now on,’ Darcie said as she stepped out.

‘All looks good.’ Isla smiled.

‘Can you let Alessi know that for me? I know he’ll be itching to find out. He’s doing his best not to ring for updates.’

‘I’ll let him know,’ Isla said, but when she paged him she got the head nurse in Neonatology, who said he was busy with an infant. ‘Can I pass on a message?’

‘It’s fine,’ Isla said. ‘I’ll try again later.’

Much later.

In fact, it was after eight when she made her way up to NICU and buzzed and was let in, and after washing her hands she was directed to Alessi, who was by little Elijah’s cot. ‘How is he?’ she asked.

‘Giving me far too many sleepless nights, but he’s doing a bit better,’ he said. He was putting an IV in Elijah’s scalp and Isla stood quietly as Alessi concentrated. There was a little picture attached to his cot of him and Archie lying together on what must have been Archie’s last day, and Isla tore her eyes from it as Alessi finished and peeled off his gloves. ‘Thank you,’ he said to the neonatal nurse who had assisted him. ‘Is this a personal visit?’ he asked as they walked from the cot.

‘Sort of.’ Isla nodded. ‘I’m just here to tell you about Allegra. All went well—’

‘We’ll go into my office.’

Isla followed him in. ‘Your office is very messy.’

‘Because I’m never in it long enough to put anything away,’ he said, and as a case in point his phone buzzed and he answered it. ‘I’ll be out in a few moments.’ He then hung up the phone. ‘How is Allegra?’

‘Fantastic. It’s all progressing well. The baby is head down and engaged and Darcie will be seeing her weekly from now on.’

‘She still wants a trial of labour?’

‘She does,’ Isla replied. ‘Darcie has gone through it all with her and Allegra will have an epidural placed just in case a Caesarean is needed.’ She perched on the edge of his desk. ‘What time are you finishing?’ she asked, knowing that he should already be off now.

‘I’m just waiting for some results to come in on Elijah.’

‘I thought he was doing a bit better?’

‘He is,’ he said. ‘I just want to check his labs.’

‘Who’s on call tonight?’

‘Jed,’ Alessi clipped.

‘Can’t Jed—’

‘Isla, please don’t,’ Alessi warned, because this really was his tipping point. ‘I work long hours. If it doesn’t suit—’

‘Oh, please.’ She simply laughed in the face of his warning. ‘I’m not some needy miss, worried that you’re going to ruin dinner if you’re late home.’ She pulled him towards her and started to kiss his tired mouth. ‘And I’m not trying to come between you and your premmies.’ She locked her hands behind his neck and looked into the blackest, most beautiful eyes she had ever seen and was as honest as she had ever been. ‘I don’t care if you’re here till five in the morning just as long as you need to be here, Alessi … I just happen to care about you. If you were one of my staff I’d have sent you home about three hours ago. In fact, I’d have told you to take tomorrow off, too.’

‘I’m not one of your staff.’

‘Lucky for you.’

Alessi looked at Isla. He loved how she’d bypassed his warning, how she’d admitted she cared, so he told her the truth.

‘I can’t send Donna and Tom home with no baby.’

‘And you’ll do everything to see that you don’t,’ Isla calmly assured him. ‘But Elijah’s going to be here for weeks, maybe months …’ She could see the wrestle in his eyes. ‘I’m not going to push it.’ She gave him another quick kiss and jumped down from the desk. ‘I’m heading home. Stop by if it’s not too late.’

‘Is Darcie on call tonight?’

‘Nope.’ Isla headed for the door. ‘I doubt she’ll drop dead with shock—half the hospital seems to have worked out that we’re on.’

They were on.

Alessi knew that when at ten, instead of crashing in the on-call room, he was driving to Isla’s. It had nothing to do with the promise of sex. He would probably be kicked out for snoring, he was so tired. It was balance, it was her, it was the calm of non-judgment and the freedom of choice along with cool reason.

‘I’d just about given up,’ Isla said, answering the door in her dressing gown, her hair wrapped in a towel.

‘Jed might call,’ he warned her. ‘I might need to go in.’

‘That’s fine,’ she said. ‘Do you want something to eat?’

‘I had something earlier,’ he said. ‘I’d kill for a shower, though.’

He’d been to the apartment a few times but never while Darcie was there. She was tapping away on her computer while watching a movie and didn’t seem remotely fazed to see him here.

‘Help yourself,’ Isla said, opening her bedroom door.

Alessi did.

To shampoo, to conditioner, to Isla’s deodorant.

‘You smell like me,’ Isla said as he joined her in bed and then kissed him. ‘You taste like me, too.’

Alessi really hadn’t come here with sex on his mind and that became more apparent as their kiss deepened. ‘I didn’t bring anything …’

‘Alessi.’

‘Can we lose the condoms?’ he asked. ‘I don’t care what tests, I’ll do them, but …’

They were just so completely into each other that this conversation had only been a matter of time but Isla was grateful for the very small reprieve he had just given her.

‘Yes …’ She knew she should tell him there was no need for tests on her part and she would, Isla decided. She was moving closer and closer to opening up to him, just not now. Now she could feel his exhaustion, now it was so easy to be bold, to just move her lips from his mouth and kiss downwards, to hold him in her hands and feel him grow.

For Alessi it was heaven.

Her tentative lips did not alert him to her inexperience. Instead he just revelled in her slow explorations and the trail of her damp hair down his body.

Isla tasted him for the first time, loved the feel of his hand on her head and the gentle pressure that pushed her deeper. Selfish was his pleasure and that she revelled in. She could feel his occasional restraint, when he tried not to thrust.

Then there was the turn-on when he stopped trying and just gave in. The power, the feel, the taste, the rush of him coming had Isla come, too, at the intimate private pleasure, and then afterwards, feeling him relaxed and sated beside her, it was the closest she had ever felt to another person.

And Alessi felt it, too, for there in the dark, as pleasure receded, a deeper connection flowed in as she lay in his arms.

‘I was wrong to accuse you of holding back when there are things that I haven’t told you.’

Isla looked at him as he continued speaking.

‘Talia was pregnant.’ It was with Isla that he shared for the first time. ‘When she told me I asked her to marry me and we decided to tell our parents about the pregnancy after the wedding.’ He liked it that her face was still there, though her smile had gone, and he liked it that she didn’t ask questions. ‘We had a big dinner at the restaurant on the Saturday …’

He tried to explain better. ‘In Greek families you establish a connection before the man asks the woman’s father, so even though we weren’t officially engaged, it was a given that it was to come. On the Wednesday Talia missed lectures. I went over to check if all was okay and it was clear she was unwell. I thought she was losing the baby. I wanted her to go to hospital but she told me there was no need …’ He watched Isla’s slight frown. ‘She told me then that she’d had an abortion that morning.’

‘Without telling you?’

‘Yep. She thought I would try to talk her out of it. She said that she wanted to have children one day but that she knew she couldn’t study to be a doctor and be a teenage mum … Alessi turned from Isla and looked back at the ceiling. ‘I get that, I understand that. I get that it was her body …’

‘It was your baby, though?’

Alessi nodded and he waited and hoped for Isla to share.

‘Go to sleep,’ Isla said, and Alessi smiled into the darkness.

If it took for ever he would find out what went on in that head, and then he smiled into the darkness again. ‘Jed and I have swapped. I’m working this weekend.’

‘But you’re already on call twice next week,’ Isla pointed out sleepily.

‘I know,’ Alessi said, ‘but it will be worth it to have next weekend off. You know what next weekend is?’ he checked. ‘Valentine’s Day. The anniversary of when we first met.’

‘And?’

‘I have plans for us.’

‘Such as?’

‘You’ll find out,’ he said. Yes, he’d had plans when he’d swapped the work arrangements with Jed—an intimate meal with Isla, perhaps a night in a gorgeous hotel, but right now those plans were getting bigger and he gave a wry laugh.

‘Hopefully it will end better than the last one.’