Читать книгу The Affair: The shocking, gripping story of a schoolgirl and a scandal - Amanda Brooke, Amanda Brooke - Страница 14

I remember the first time I realized exactly what effect I had on him. No way was I expecting him to, you know, get excited and I swear I didn’t know what to do. When I think back, it was so embarrassing. I was such a child.

Mum had dragged us out for Sunday lunch with her friends Sarah and Miles. I didn’t want to go, but sometimes it’s just not worth the argument. I was the youngest there, so obviously they all treated me like a kid. Miles actually asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up.

When – I – grew – up?

I’d already grown up, for God’s sake, and I’m pretty sure he’d noticed. Sarah definitely had. She made some comment about everyone looking while I was putting on my lip gloss in the restaurant, as if I hadn’t worked that out for myself.

Anyway, after our main course, I sneaked off to the Ladies so I could put on more lip gloss without Sarah’s bitchy comments, and after that I went outside to escape for a while. The restaurant backed on to the canal and had an outdoor dining area, but it was teeming down so luckily it was deserted.

I stayed close to a wall that had an overhanging roof to give me some shelter, and the sound of the rain hammering against the tiles was so loud I didn’t hear him come outside, not until he’d sneaked up next to me.

‘Looking for an escape route?’

I was looking out over the canal, watching it trembling in the rain. I was trembling almost as much, if I’m being honest, and I wouldn’t look at him when I said, ‘You too?’

‘Yeah, this kind of thing is my idea of hell. I could do with a stiff drink.’

‘So could I,’ I said. OK, maybe I was only trying to sound older, but I really could have done with a drink.

‘It’s school tomorrow.’

‘Don’t remind me.’

‘Your schooldays will be over before you know it, Scarlett. And in spite of all the stress with exams, I bet it’ll be one of the best years of your life. It was for me.’

‘You can remember that far back?’

He laughed. ‘You’re growing up fast, aren’t you?’

It was a comment I’d heard loads of times, usually from older men who were staring at my boobs, but he just looked out across the water. I can remember wanting him to look at me. I took a deep breath so my chest would stick out more, and made a pout. ‘Who says I’m not already?’

‘Fed up being treated like a child?’

‘Or ignored completely. Everyone’s too busy worrying about Liam.’

‘Oh, you’re not ignored, Scarlett.’

‘You think? For the last hour it’s been all about Liam and how he should get out more. I’m sure Mum thinks he’s going to hack into some government network from his bedroom and bring the country down. Either that or she’s worried he’ll never leave home and she’ll be stuck with him for ever.’

‘He’ll be fine.’

‘I know he’ll be fine,’ I said through gritted teeth. ‘The point is I don’t care.’

‘So what do you care about? What would make you happy, Scarlett?’

I liked the way he talked to me, like he was really interested in what I had to say, like I had an opinion that mattered. I could have told him that what I wanted most was to be noticed instead of gawped at all the time, but I’m pretty sure he knew that.

I didn’t actually get the chance to say anything because just then a gust of wind caught the rain and blew it towards us. I turned to the side but he stepped in front of me, like he was protecting me. When I turned back to face him, I was too scared to look up.

‘Are you getting wet?’ he asked, whispering the last word.

He’d put his hand on the wall next to me, blocking me in and I had no idea what to do next. I’d had boys making crude comments before, but this was way different. For one thing, I most definitely wanted the attention this time. OK, I knew it was bad and Mum would be horrified if she knew, but I’d been dreaming of being this close to him. And in my fantasies we’d gone way further. But I wasn’t expecting it to happen for real and that’s why I panicked. ‘I’d better go,’ I told him.

‘That’s a shame,’ he said. ‘I thought we were kindred spirits for a moment, Scarlett. My mistake.’

He lowered his arm and trailed a finger down my arm, which sent this weird electric current through my body. It felt so strong that it seriously made me flinch.

‘Sorry,’ he said quickly. ‘You should go.’

I didn’t move, and I suppose I was curious more than anything. It was like I had this power over him. He was tempted to do something he shouldn’t, something that was very, very bad, and it was all because of me.

I looked up and whispered, ‘Or I could stay.’

I was actually daring him to move closer and I couldn’t believe it when he did. He pushed against me and it wasn’t the first time I’d felt someone with a hard on, but that had only been Linus and I don’t think he had a clue what to do with it. This was a man and he definitely knew what to do. He took hold of my hand and later he told me exactly what he had been tempted to do, but at the time he was being the perfect gentleman. He kissed my palm. ‘Run away, little girl,’ he said.

And I did run away, but I can’t tell you how much I regretted it. I played that scene over and over again in my mind afterwards and I swore that next time, I wasn’t going to let him off so easily.