Читать книгу The Child’s Secret - Amanda Brooke, Amanda Brooke - Страница 17

Selina had instructed Sam to continue seeing Anna, as if that alone would allow him to keep his conscience clear, but it wasn’t that simple. It was inevitable that Sam would hurt Anna at some point and the longer he let her believe they had a future together, the deeper that hurt might be. He had to at least try to stop that from happening, but as the couple strolled down the road together on a warm summer’s evening he didn’t know where to begin. Anna was beautiful and lively and enthusiastic about life in general, and while he didn’t think for a minute he would ever be able to immerse himself completely in her kind of world, he couldn’t deny it felt good to pay a visit now and again. If there was a way forward, one thing was clear: it would have to be on Anna’s terms and not just his own.

‘I can’t wait for school to finish,’ Anna said as they made their way towards the King’s Arms. ‘One more month and then I can relax for a while. Mum and Dad have a villa in Spain and it’s free for a couple of weeks in August if you fancy it?’

When Sam didn’t immediately respond, she squeezed his hand tightly as if to force an answer from him. It worked, although it wasn’t the answer she was hoping for.

‘I’m not too sure about that,’ he said hesitantly as he scrambled to think up a believable excuse. ‘With my Celtic blood, I’ll be burnt to a crisp.’

‘Really?’ she asked.

Anna made a point of looking at his deeply tanned arms – an occupational hazard from his outdoor lifestyle. He squirmed under her scrutiny and then, fortunately for Sam, his phone began to ring.

The call was from Pat, and Sam tried not to look at Anna as Selina’s friend explained a little about the work she wanted doing at her caravan in Pantymwyn. He continued to walk as he talked and by the time they reached the pub, Sam had made arrangements to meet Pat at the site to check out the job.

‘So who was that on the phone?’ Anna asked after they had found a table in a quiet corner.

‘One of Selina’s friends wants me to do a job for her.’

Sam was being deliberately vague, but Anna had already heard one half of his conversation and evasion was futile. ‘So where is this caravan, then?’ she asked.

Sam hadn’t yet taken a seat and played for time. ‘Let me get the drinks in first.’

Before he could move, a pint and a glass of wine were placed down in front of him. A hand clamped around his shoulder. ‘No need, mate – these are on me.’

When Sam turned around, Finn was smiling from ear to ear. The two shook hands. ‘And I know I promised you a slap-up meal but I’m afraid I haven’t had my first wage packet yet. When I do, though, I promise to take you both out.’

Sam already knew from Jack that he had taken Finn on. The job was only going to be over the summer but there was always the chance his contract might be extended.

‘You really don’t have to thank me, Finn. All I did was put you in touch with Jack, no more.’

Finn was shaking his head. ‘No, you did more than that. I’d reached the point where I’d all but given up, and if I’m being honest, I was in a pretty bad place.’ He patted Sam on the shoulder again. ‘Anyway, I won’t disturb you now but maybe I’ll see you at school. I take you’re being dragged along to see the play?’

Sam looked a little nonplussed as he turned to Anna, who raised an eyebrow. ‘I told you all about it, Sam,’ she scolded. ‘We’re putting on an adaptation of the Wizard of Oz in a couple of weeks.’

Finn was laughing. ‘I was the same, Sam. The wife’s been going on about it for weeks because our Jasmine’s in it, but I took no notice. Now, thanks to you, I’ve turned over a new leaf and I promised Laura I’d go. And if I’m going, then I don’t see why you can’t bite the bullet too.’

‘We could all go out for that meal afterwards if you can get a babysitter,’ Anna suggested.

When Finn agreed, there was little Sam could do to object to the plan, although he wasn’t giving his approval willingly. The idea of stepping inside a school hall packed with excited parents and nervous kids made his insides twist in knots, and yet there was a part of him that wanted to see more of the family he had helped, if only to remind himself that he wasn’t completely selfish and self-absorbed.

When Finn returned to the bar, Sam and Anna chatted a little about the play and he feigned interest as best he could. He had assumed she had forgotten all about the phone call from Pat until she said, ‘So, tell me more about this caravan. Where is it?’

‘Wales.’

Either Anna hadn’t picked up on Sam’s reluctance to involve her in his plans or was ignoring it and said, ‘I’m not so busy with the play that I couldn’t fit in a quick trip to Wales.’

‘Oh, it’s not any time soon. She doesn’t need the garden finished until the end of August.’

‘In the school holidays, then, that’s even better. The only time I get to go to Wales these days is on school trips and believe me, it’s never a fun day out.’

‘Neither will this be,’ Sam said. ‘So far I’ve only committed to pay a quick visit so Pat can show me what she has planned and to work out what supplies we’ll need.’

‘People do take advantage of you, Sam. I bet she isn’t paying you for your time, is she?’

Sam wasn’t looking at Anna but towards the bar where Finn was deep in conversation with a group of men. They looked as if they were part of the fixtures and fittings, Finn included. ‘I like helping people,’ he said. ‘What else would I do with my free time?’

‘Spend it with me,’ Anna suggested, leaning in closer so that her face was only inches from his. ‘It would be good for us to get away, if not for a holiday then a long weekend somewhere. I’d even settle for a day trip to Wales.’

Putting down the pint he had been cradling, Sam turned to give her his full attention. He asked himself again why setting out a future with Anna should be such a bad thing. He couldn’t deny the attraction and the excitement she brought to his life, but there was something missing and it was missing in him, not her. All she wanted to do was please him and make him happy and, in response, the best he could do was try to lessen the hurt. His pulse began to race. ‘Look, I think you’re a lovely person, Anna—’

Her face fell and she recoiled as if his words had been a slap across her face. ‘You’re not dumping me, are you?’ She gave a nervous laugh as if expecting Sam to immediately tell her not to be so silly.

Nausea was added to the unpleasant mix of feelings Sam was experiencing. ‘How can I break up with you when we barely know each other?’

‘So far,’ she added quickly.

‘I enjoy being with you, Anna, and I would love to keep things as they are, but I can’t help feeling guilty.’

Anna’s eyes were glistening when she asked, ‘Guilty in what way?’

‘I don’t see my life changing, not in the way that I think you might be expecting it to, in the long term at least. I don’t want you investing your time and your emotions in me because I can’t deliver what you want, Anna. You’re young and you’ll want to settle down one day and do the whole family thing.’ Before she had a chance to respond, he added, ‘And I’m sorry, but I can’t give you that. I don’t think I can give anyone that.’

‘Again,’ Anna reminded him.

‘I won’t deny that my past experiences have affected me. They changed my perspective on life, so if you’re looking for a happy ending then you need to find someone else. I’m sorry, Anna, it’s not going to be me.’

‘Why? What happened that could be so bad that you can’t even talk about it? What is it about your ex-wife that holds you prisoner in the past, Sam?’

There had been more venom than balm in Anna’s words and if ever there was going to be a time when Sam would feel able to explain everything to her, it most certainly wasn’t now. ‘I can’t give you what you want.’

They both held their breath a moment. They were standing at a crossroads and each was trying to decide which path to take. Sam could feel himself drawn to the route that would take him back to the lonely life he had become accustomed to, but Anna took his hand.

‘I don’t understand it, but I accept that you have your reasons for not wanting to commit. I won’t deny that I would like a brood of kids one day, and my head is telling me to cut my losses and run, but I like you, Sam. I like you a lot.’

If her words were meant to reassure Sam then they didn’t. Anna’s declaration gave Sam the distinct impression she had invested a lot more emotion in him than he had appreciated.

‘I already have a long list of failed relationships under my belt,’ she continued, ‘and I can’t believe I’m living back home with Mum and Dad but it’s only temporary. Maybe I would like to think we could make a go of things but it’s too soon, I realize that. And what if your stubbornness could work in my favour – it might be what I need to make me think more about being an independent woman for a change and not someone who has to rely on a man. You’re a good thing in my life, Sam, so stop feeling so guilty.’

There was a certain logic to Anna’s argument and Sam did his best to ignore the flaws. They had reached an understanding and, for the moment at least, his conscience had been satisfied.

‘So, if it’s not too terrifying a proposition,’ Anna said. ‘Can I come with you to Wales in the holidays? I could hold your tape measure while you size up Pat’s garden.’

Sam smiled. ‘I would love you to.’

As Sam stood in front of the school entrance, he could hear laughter coming from deep inside where Anna’s play would be drawing to a close. It was a warm summer’s evening and yet Sam hunched his shoulders against a bitter northerly wind that was no more than a memory of a dark Scottish winter. He shuddered as he made his way inside and followed the Blu-tacked signs to the Land of Oz.

When he entered, the school hall was in darkness except for a single spotlight on the stage as Dorothy called out to the friends she had lost in the woods. She kept looking at the stuffed dog tucked under her arm, almost as if she were reading her lines from notes hidden in its fur. Apart from the little girl’s voice, the only other sound came from the creak of the door as Sam closed it behind him. A handful of silhouetted heads turned in his direction and he winced by way of an apology.

It took a moment, but once his eyes adjusted, he found an empty seat on one of the back rows but didn’t immediately move towards it. It wasn’t only his eyes that were adjusting. His pulse was racing and his mouth was dry.

The stage was set ablaze with light as a dozen or so children began stomping about, tripping over the scenery and fluffing their lines. The mixture of pride and tolerance, excitement and nerves coming from the audience was palpable as Sam shuffled along to the empty seat he had spotted. Once settled, he tried to blank out everything that was happening around him by concentrating on an invisible point on the wall to the left of the stage, but this coping strategy simply left space in his mind to be filled with memories that he knew better than to resurrect. He gritted his teeth and flicked his gaze towards the stage, reluctantly accepting that the safest option was to follow the story.

Dorothy had tracked down the Wicked Witch of the West and Sam was quietly impressed by the set. It was clear that more time had gone into making the props and costumes than learning lines. Although it was difficult to recognize faces beneath the elaborate make-up and headgear, it looked as if one of the winged monkeys was none other than the hard-nosed boy who had wished for a branch to fall on Sam’s head. Jasmine was possibly on stage too but according to Anna, she was only a bit player, one of half a dozen Munchkins and without any lines of her own to deliver. There were two Munchkins taking centre stage now and another hiding behind a cardboard tree. The more the shy Munchkin receded into the background, the more convinced Sam was that it was Jasmine.

When the lights went up after the last curtain call, Sam was still staring at the spot on the stage where the little girl had stood. He felt a sense of pride that surprised him. Anna had kept him up to date with the daily dramas surrounding the rehearsals, and while the leading actors had been the focus of her attention, she had occasionally mentioned Jasmine, saying that if she managed to get on stage at all, there was a good chance the poor child would remain there, immobilized by fear. But the stage was empty.

Sam stayed where he was and watched the proud parents milling around until the hall began to clear. He spotted Finn at the front, talking animatedly with one group of parents and then another, his exit continually thwarted. It was quite remarkable to see how Finn was so comfortable being the centre of attention while his daughter was a complete contrast, but then Sam caught a glimpse of the woman walking in his shadow and it became clear where Jasmine had inherited her personality traits as well as her looks. Laura looked to be in her mid-thirties. She was tall and slender with sleek blonde hair pinned up in a twist that looked both casual and elegant. Her eyes were cast down but Sam had no doubt they would be deep blue like her daughter’s.

While Finn chatted away, his wife appeared to take no part in the conversation and when they eventually came level with Sam’s row, she was all but obscured and forgotten by everyone except Sam.

‘Hello, mate,’ Finn called, reaching across the empty seats to shake Sam’s hand. ‘Did we wake you up there? These things do drag on, don’t they?’

‘It was very enjoyable,’ Sam said although the smile gave him away.

‘Are you still interested in going on for something to eat? There’s plenty to choose from along Allerton Road or we could go into town, if you like?’

Sam made a good impression of looking as if he hadn’t given Finn’s offer much thought. ‘Don’t feel obliged if you have other plans.’

‘Nonsense, I’ve been looking forward to it.’

Standing up, Sam made his way to the aisle. ‘There’s just the small matter of dragging Anna away,’ he said as he drew nearer.

It was only when Sam made a point of peering over Finn’s shoulder that his newest friend took the hint and remembered to introduce his wife. When Finn stepped to one side, it was the first chance Sam had to see Laura up close. She was wearing a simple wrap dress and held a hand modestly to her chest. Her eyes remained cast down and unfathomable, which gave her the same power of presence as her daughter, there and yet not there; a beautiful soul that was easily overlooked and yet completely captivating.

When Sam stretched his hand out towards her, they locked eyes and he stumbled over his words as he said hello.

‘So are you ready?’ Finn asked Laura.

‘To go out to dinner? I don’t know, Finn …’

‘Oh, come on, Laura, this is the man who got me a job and I have to repay the debt. I’d like to treat you too,’ he said, then turned to Sam. ‘I don’t know how she’s put up with me these last few months.’

‘But what about Jasmine?’ asked Laura.

Finn remained unfazed, and then his eyes brightened as another group of parents shuffled past. ‘Hey, Natalie,’ he said, catching a woman by the arm, ‘Laura’s forgotten all about our plans to go out for dinner tonight. Is there any chance you could have Jasmine? We’ll return the favour, honest.’

‘You mean Laura will,’ Natalie said as she looked from Finn to his wife. ‘And you don’t have to return the favour but yes, of course she can stay over. She’s never any trouble and I’ve still got a pair of her PJs from last weekend.’

‘Sorry, Natalie,’ Laura said.

‘Don’t you worry about it. I’m heading for the main entrance now to pick up Keira and Jasmine’s bound to be with her. Do you want me to take her back now or did you want to see her first?’

‘I want to see her first,’ Laura said quickly and started following Natalie out through the door before Finn had a chance to argue.

Finn rolled his eyes. ‘Sorry about this, Sam. The joys of parenthood, eh?’

Sam couldn’t bring himself to respond to the comment and changed the subject. ‘It’s all right; Anna said she’d meet me at the main doors too. She shouldn’t be too long,’ he said, and she wasn’t. Anna was leading the charge with a handful of exhausted Munchkins bringing up the rear.

‘Aren’t you getting changed?’ Keira whispered when she found her best friend loitering outside the changing rooms while the rest of her classmates created havoc for Miss Jenkins inside.

Jasmine gave her the best scowl she could manage given that her face had been painted bright orange. ‘I’m staying in character.’

Keira spun around in the pretty silver dress that Jasmine thought a bit too sparkly for one of the townspeople of Oz but her friend had insisted on being noticed. ‘Then so am I,’ she announced before coming to an uncertain stop. ‘But won’t we get in trouble?’

Lifting her nose in the air, Jasmine said, ‘Of course not. I asked Miss Jenkins and she said I could. And if I can, so can you.’

Jasmine was riding on a high and couldn’t have been more proud of herself. She had conquered her fears, and even though she had been shaking like a leaf she had stepped out on stage. Her newfound assertiveness had made it impossible for Miss Jenkins to refuse her request to stay in her costume that little bit longer.

‘Come on, my little Munchkins,’ Miss Jenkins told them as she led the remaining cast out towards the main entrance. ‘The sooner I get you lot handed over to your parents, the sooner we can all go home.’

Jasmine and Keira were holding hands as they stepped through the last set of double doors and were almost trampled over when the group surged forward while Jasmine became rooted to the spot.

‘Come on, Jazz,’ Keira said, tugging at her hand.

‘Look,’ she said, still refusing to move. Her eyes were fixed on the tall man with broad shoulders standing with her dad. ‘It’s Mr McIntyre.’

‘Who?’

‘Don’t you remember? He’s the man who told us about the Wishing Tree.’

Keira looked at him suspiciously. ‘But that was an old man with a beard.’

‘It’s him,’ Jasmine said without a shadow of a doubt.

‘What’s he doing here then?’

Jasmine bit her lip. ‘Do you think it has something to do with the Wishing Tree?’

‘Oh, Jasmine, why do you keep going on about that stupid tree?’

‘Because it has special powers, stupid.’

‘I’m not stupid – you’re stupid. And the Wishing Tree is just a stupid story that’s been made up like Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy.’

‘It is not! How do you explain how my dad got a job then?’ Jasmine replied with a frown that made her brow itch. When she rubbed at it, the orange face paint flaked beneath her fingers.

Keira swatted her friend’s hand. ‘You’re making a mess of your make-up.’

Jasmine scowled again. ‘The tree made my wish come true, Keira,’ she persisted.

‘Then how come it didn’t grant my wish then? I asked for Leah to take me with her when she went to see the new Avengers film in 3D, but she didn’t.’

Keira’s fourteen-year-old sister, Leah, was regularly called upon to babysit her younger sibling and occasionally Jasmine too since the two often came as a job lot. ‘She took us to the park though.’

‘Only because she wanted to meet her boyf—’ Keira’s voice broke off and her mouth was agog as she stared in the direction of Mr McIntyre. He wasn’t talking to Jasmine’s dad any more. ‘Oh. My. God.’

Jasmine followed her gaze. ‘What?’

‘Did you see that?’

‘No,’ Jasmine said. ‘What was it?’

‘Miss Jenkins has just kissed …’ she began but then felt the need to repeat herself and said with a hiss, ‘She just kissed the Wishing Tree Man.’

‘Yuk!’ the girls said in unison.

Leah appeared from nowhere and gave Keira a shove. ‘Will you two get a move on! Mum’s waiting for you!’

Before being dragged off by her sister, Keira turned back to Jasmine one last time. She stuck a finger down her throat to demonstrate her disgust but Jasmine remained straight-faced and solemn as she approached the group of adults that included her parents. Her mum was the only one who wasn’t deep in conversation and she was waiting with a smile.