Читать книгу Suzanne - Anais Barbeau-Lavalette - Страница 35

You are all gathered at the kitchen table, which your mother is finishing up clearing.

English kids are playing hockey in front of the house, their war cries filtering indoors, and you are told to stop fidgeting. It’s time for the family catechism.

Today Achilles tells the story of original sin, of freedom put to the test.

There are eight of you standing around the table, because it’s harder to fall asleep when you’re standing.

When he starts talking about God, Achilles’s face changes. It always makes you smile. He becomes a teacher again. He is focused, doing his best to articulate precisely. He takes refuge in this family sermon, where he still feels useful. You don’t know whether he really believes what he is saying, but he throws himself into it, unshakeable, whole.

Claudia listens, nodding her head, eyeing each of her children, making sure they’re paying attention. She is the only one who is seated. Her legs could give out from under her. Claudia could collapse at any moment.

Achilles clears his throat, lifts his chin slightly, and begins: ‘God created man in his image and established him in his friendship. A spiritual creature, man can live this friendship only in free submission to God. The prohibition against eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil spells this out: “for in the day that you eat of it, you shall die.”’

Your sister Claire eats up his words; they hold her spellbound. She even seems a little scared.

You are already getting impatient. Blood is running down your legs. You are the promise of a woman. You like the idea. It’s a territory you want to explore.

You are stuck at the end of the table. The wooden corner grazes the spot between your legs.

‘Man is dependent on his Creator, and subject to the moral norms that govern the use of his freedom. Man, tempted by the devil, let his trust in his Creator die in his heart and, abusing his freedom, disobeyed God’s command.’

Achilles continues, his voice deeper.

‘Scripture portrays the tragic consequences of this first disobedience. After that first sin, the world is virtually inundated by sin …’

You press up against the table and it feels good.

Your mother leaps up, overturning the table with her momentum. You jump. Your sister Claire cries out.

Achilles, his sermon interrupted, becomes vulnerable again. He carefully rights the table, looking at his wife, a question in his eyes.

Claudia stares at you. She smooths her skirt, her hands trembling, and apologizes to Achilles in a meek voice, never taking her eyes off you. Calling for him to continue, she suggests with a controlled gesture that you leave the table and sends you to the pots and pans.