Читать книгу Regency Society - Хелен Диксон, Ann Lethbridge, Хелен Диксон - Страница 102

As Roxanne had imagined, the evening was a huge success. The ballroom was decorated with banks of fragrant flowers from the hothouses and reels of white-silk tulle hung in drapes above the dais where the musicians were seated. Sparkling chandeliers threw out showers of light, which were picked up by the glittering jewels worn by both ladies and gentlemen. They had come dressed in their best finery, prepared to enjoy the celebrations, and laughter reverberated through the rooms, the sound of chattering voices almost deafening.

Roxanne soon discovered that she was the centre of attention.

‘To tell the truth I never expected to see this day,’ Luke’s Uncle Frederick on his father’s side told her as he claimed one of the first dances of the evening. ‘I believe Hartingdon had given up all hope of Clarendon ever doing his duty.’

‘Surely not?’ Roxanne gave him an amused smile. ‘Luke is not in his dotage, I think?’

‘Good lord, no, he’s a young man, but he seemed set in his ways. I always knew it would take an exceptional young woman to catch my nephew and it seems I was right.’

‘Thank you for the compliment,’ Roxanne replied mischievously. ‘I shall do my best to live up to what is expected of me.’

‘You’ll do very well,’ the talkative gentleman said. ‘Beauty and brains, to say nothing of charm. Now that is a combination not often found, Miss Roxanne. Luke is a lucky fellow.’

Since that seemed the consensus of the guests, Roxanne did not find herself left without an admirer at her side all evening. She danced every dance, sipped at, but did not finish, several glasses of champagne brought to her by a string of helpful gentlemen and ate sparingly of the delicious supper that had been provided for them.

‘Where did you meet Clarendon?’

The question had been asked again and again by curious aunts and cousins throughout the evening. Roxanne gave the same reply to all of them.

‘I was staying with a friend and we met by chance when Luke was out riding,’ she told them, embroidering the truth only as necessary. ‘We were mutually attracted and liked each other immediately.’

Surely that much was true. Roxanne had felt an instant liking for the man she’d helped in the woods, despite his hostility. He’d been angry and in pain at first, but later he’d been grateful for her help. That meeting seemed so far away now, her life revolving round the earl and his grandson these days. Sometimes she almost forgot that she had ever known another life.

The Roxanne who had lived with a band of travelling players was someone different. She was Miss Peters and her father lived and worked in India… The story she’d invented for herself was now so real that she believed it must be the truth.

As far as she understood, Luke’s lawyer had heard nothing from the advertisement. Roxanne might never discover whether the ruby was truly hers or the property of another person. Perhaps it was not important. She had become a part of Luke’s family, welcomed and accepted amongst them. It did not matter that she could not remember her own family—at least she must try not to let it matter.

She had danced three times with Luke during the evening. Each time it had been a waltz and Roxanne felt as if she had been floating on air, his nearness giving her such pleasure that she felt she could melt into his body. The feeling was so perfect that she knew she could become his lover easily. There would be no hesitation on her part, because already she felt as if she belonged to him, in his bed, in his arms. He had called her a clever actress, but he gave such a convincing display of affection towards his fiancée that Roxanne might have been deceived herself had she not caught a hint of mockery in his smile once or twice. It was as if he were showing her that he, too, could play his part.

What was in his mind? What did that look mean? Sometimes she thought he was like a cat playing with a bird it had caught in its claws.

‘Have you enjoyed this evening?’ Luke whispered as the hour grew late. ‘I believe you have charmed all my uncles and my cousins have fallen in love with you. Cousin Horatio is quite eaten up with jealousy, though I am not certain whether he envies me you—or my grandfather’s estate, of which he had hopes before you arrived.’

‘Luke…’ Roxanne tapped his arm with her fan ‘…that was not well said of you. Mr Harte was charming to me and told me how pleased he was that you’d decided to marry.’

‘Horatio is charming when he wishes to be, Roxanne, but do not be fooled by him. I dare say he is spitting venom in private.’

Roxanne shook her head at him. She had noticed a certain underlying tension between the cousins, but there was often rivalry between gentlemen and she took little notice. Cousin Horatio was one of those staying overnight and she noticed that he was absent for a while towards the end of the ball, reappearing just as the guests that lived locally were leaving.

The earl had gone to his apartments soon after supper, and when there were only a handful of gentlemen left, all of them related and preparing for a last nightcap before seeking their rooms, Roxanne said her farewells.

She went upstairs to her own bedchamber and entered. She’d instructed her maid that she was not to wait up, because she could manage to unhook herself and would not need assistance. However, when she opened the door and walked in a feeling of shock ran through her. It was immediately obvious that the room had been searched.

The drawers had been pulled out of the chest and the contents scattered on the floor, her underclothes, scarves and gloves scattered in little heaps. The armoire had been opened and dresses pulled from the shelves, as if whoever had been searching had been in a hurry. Yet there was more, a kind of venom, almost as if the mess had been intended to punish and hurt.

Since the only things she had of personal value were her ring and the pearls Luke had given her, which she was wearing, there was nothing much for a thief to steal. The silver pots on the dressing table, which were the earl’s property, were still there, though lids had been removed and the contents examined.

Who had been here and caused such upheaval? It did not seem to Roxanne that anything had been taken, but it was obvious that someone had been searching for something in particular. Who would dare to do such a thing when the house was full of guests?

Roxanne trembled, a slither of ice sliding down her spine. It was a most unpleasant feeling to discover that her room had been ransacked in this way. What had the intruder been looking for—was it the ruby?

She hesitated for a moment, wondering what to do for the best. It was too unsettling to sleep in her room like this, but she was unwilling to rouse the servants at this late hour.

Luke ought to be told. Roxanne knew that she must speak to him at once about what had happened here. There might still be an intruder in the house. He would know what to do, because the house ought to be checked. If an outsider had broken in while they were all at the ball, he might be dangerous. Perhaps other guests had had their rooms searched.

Still fully dressed, Roxanne made her way through the halls and up a short flight of stairs to the wing where Luke had his rooms. Would he have come up yet or was he still downstairs, taking a last drink with his cousins?

She tapped at his door and after a short pause, during which Roxanne wondered what to do if he were not there, Luke opened his door. He was still dressed in his breeches and shirt, but he’d taken off his coat and neckcloth and his feet were bare.

‘Roxanne—what are you doing here at this hour?’

‘May I speak to you, please?’

‘Of course, come in,’ Luke said, then took her arm and drew her inside his sitting room. It was furnished with two leather elbow chairs, a bookcase and a writing table and chair; there was also a collection of paintings of horses, also two bronze figures holding torches aloft, which held lighted candles.

‘I am sorry to disturb you, but I did not know what else to do—my rooms have been ransacked.’

‘What?’ Luke looked startled. ‘Your rooms—was anything valuable taken?’

‘I was wearing the only items of jewellery I possess, but the silver pots on the dressing table are all there and they have been opened.’

‘Someone was searching for something they did not find.’ Luke’s brow creased. ‘Do you suppose it was the ruby?’

‘Yes, perhaps it was,’ Roxanne said. ‘Whoever it was must have taken the opportunity to search while we were all dancing. I suppose there were so many people about that he was able to slip in without being noticed.’

‘Yes, I imagine it must have seemed a good opportunity.’ His gaze narrowed. ‘You saw no one—you are not harmed?’

‘I saw no one and I am not harmed—but I felt uneasy and wondered whether to call my maid to tidy the room or sleep elsewhere this evening.’

‘You must stay here for now,’ Luke said. ‘I shall put on my boots and check your rooms and the downstairs rooms also, Roxanne. I want to make sure the windows and doors are locked, though I prefer not to rouse the guests or Grandfather. I do not wish to disturb him.’

‘No, of course you must not,’ Roxanne agreed. ‘I was not certain what to do, but I hope no one else need know about this unfortunate incident.’

‘Mrs Arlet must be told and the servants will know, but it is best if the guests do not learn of this—unless any of them have suffered something similar.’

‘Had they done so, I’m sure someone would have told you,’ Roxanne said. ‘I think it was just my room, Luke—and I believe it must be because of that ruby.’

Luke had sat down to pull his boots on. He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, then inclined his head.

‘It seems the most likely explanation. Unless Horatio wanted to see what he could find to discredit you. He knows what he has lost because we are to wed and he was absent for a time this evening.’ He saw her look. ‘You don’t believe it was him. Well, you may be right. Stay here, Roxanne, and lock the door behind me. I shall take a look at your room and make a tour of the house. When I return we’ll talk about this again.’

‘Yes, of course. Please take care, Luke. I would not have you come to harm for the sake of that wretched jewel.’

‘I shall be perfectly safe. Whoever wants that ruby seems not to mean harm to either of us. There has been plenty of time for him to attack me had he wished it. No, it is the jewel he wants for some reason best known to himself.’

Roxanne went to the door with him and he locked it after he went out. She chose one of the elbow chairs and sat down, but could not rest. As she paced about the room, the minutes dragged by and, when Luke did not return after more than half an hour, Roxanne went into his bedchamber. Luke was not particularly tidy and she noticed discarded neckcloths and a dressing gown lying abandoned over a chair. She sat on the edge of the bed, then laid down, resting her head on a pillow that smelled faintly of the cologne he sometimes wore. Lying with her knees pulled up to her chest, she closed her eyes.

Movement close by woke Roxanne and she opened her eyes and then sat up as she saw Luke standing there looking at her.

‘Is all safe?’ she asked, her heart pounding.

‘I discovered a window catch in the library that was loose and I believe that may have been how our intruder got in. There was a smear of earth on the window-sill and what may have been a footmark. I think our intruder was bare-footed.’

‘He wore no shoes?’ Roxanne frowned. ‘I remember that Sofia told me shoes are not worn in the house in India. The face at the window in the tower might have been Indian—it all seems to point to the ruby, do you not think so?’

‘Yes, it would seem the jewel is important to someone,’ Luke agreed. ‘I wish whoever it is would just ask for the damned thing. My concern is for your sake, Roxanne. If he becomes frustrated, he may attack you…’

Roxanne got to her feet. She shivered, feeling chilled and uneasy.

‘I’m sorry to have caused you so much trouble. I wish I could remember what happened…why I had the ruby…’ A tear spilled from the corner of her eye. ‘Who am I, Luke? Am I a thief? Why did I have that ruby? I wish I could remember.’

‘Don’t cry, dearest,’ Luke said softly. He reached out and wiped away the tear with his fingertips. ‘You mustn’t be upset over this. I’m here. I shall protect you, Roxanne.’

‘But why is all this hap—’ She got no further for Luke’s arms were about her. He drew her close to his body, his head bent towards hers, his mouth covering hers in a kiss so hungry and intense that all else fled from her mind. Roxanne’s arms folded about his neck, her fingers reaching into his hair at the nape as the kiss deepened between them. Then Luke was lifting her in his arms, carrying her back to the bed. He placed her amongst the covers and lay down beside her, gazing into her eyes.

‘I want you so much,’ he whispered passionately against her ear. ‘I’ve wanted you from the moment I first saw you, Roxanne. You are so beautiful and you’re mine. I swear that no one shall harm you. I will protect you with my life. You must never be afraid while I am with you.’

‘Luke…’ she whispered hoarsely. ‘Luke, hold me, love me. I want you, too. I love you…’

As soon as the words left her lips Roxanne regretted them. She had not meant to say the one thing she knew he would not want to hear, but her feelings had rushed to the forefront because of her distress and the words had slipped out. She thought that for a moment he stilled, as if he would withdraw from her, but then he was kissing her again, hungrily, passionately, as if his need was as great as her own.

Giving herself up to desire, Roxanne responded to Luke’s loving with an equal passion of her own. She had never known that such feelings lay within her, waiting to burst forth in a torrent of need and hunger. All the years of not knowing who or what she was, all the pain, uncertainty and fear, the need to be loved came out of her in a frenzy of wanting and loving. His hands were gentle but firm as they explored her body, seeking out the secret places of her femininity, touching her where no one else had touched her, bringing her sweet pleasure. Her hands moved over his arms, his back, following the firmness of his shoulders and the honed muscles, moving over skin that was now naked and slicked with sweat as their bodies came together in sweet ecstasy. His throbbing manhood sought entry and she felt pain, but then the pain was forgotten in the sweet pleasure of his kisses.

‘Yes…’ Roxanne moaned as he moved within her, deep and firm, bringing her to such exquisite delight that she writhed and arched beneath him. She moaned and clung to him, her breath soft and sweet as she sighed. ‘So good…so very good.’

‘My sweet, beautiful Roxanne,’ Luke murmured against her ear. ‘Such passion and heat. No one has ever made me feel as you do, my darling. You are exquisite, perfect. I want to hold you and make love to you always.’

His words were so tender and loving that Roxanne felt tears of joy on her cheeks as they lay together, entwined, satiated and at peace before they slept. During the night, they woke, loved again, as sweetly and as urgently as before. Roxanne slept deeply, curled into his body, her legs captured and held as he clasped her against him. Her long red hair was spread over the pillows and had entangled itself about him as they loved.

When in the morning Luke moved her hair from his face, carefully disentangling himself from her limbs that curled about him, Roxanne did not wake. She was caught up in a dream so sweet that her lips curved in a smile of content.

‘Love you,’ she murmured. ‘Always love you…’

Luke knew that she was still sleeping and that she did not know she had spoken. He frowned as he moved carefully about the room, collecting the clothes he needed for riding. He watched Roxanne sleep while he dressed, a look of gravity on his face, then went out, leaving her to rest.

He needed to ride and to think about the future. Roxanne’s distress the previous evening had led him into something he had not planned and he was not sure what it meant for the future. In her dreaming state she had spoken of love, but was it real or part of the story she’d invented for herself—and did he want his marriage to be more of a real marriage than he’d intended?

He suddenly felt trapped again. He was being drawn into something that threatened to overturn all he had believed and he could not handle the feelings churning inside him.

He must think about what had happened the previous night and what it meant—and he must question the men he’d had patrolling the grounds. Why had they not seen the intruder and who had been so desperate to find Roxanne’s ruby that they had risked breaking into her room when there was a house filled with guests?

Roxanne stirred and stretched, a feeling of well being stealing over her as she opened her eyes. What had happened the previous night to make her feel so good? Letting her gaze move about the room, she realised that she was not in her own bed and then the memories came flooding back. Suffused with warmth, she felt herself blush as she recalled how gladly she had surrendered to Luke’s loving the previous night. She had gone to his arms like a wanton instead of the gentlewoman she was supposed to be, giving no thought to propriety or the future.

What did that say about her? What kind of a woman was she truly?

Sitting up in bed, she saw her clothes strewn over the floor and recalled the way they had come off with such abandon. Indeed, she’d behaved like a harlot. No well-bred young woman would behave in such a way—and yet she did not regret it. Roxanne knew that she would do it again, because one night of love like that was something she would never forget. Even if Luke did not love her in his heart, he’d made her feel loved and needed, and something deep inside her had responded, had been waiting for him. She’d felt as if her whole life had been waiting for that moment—the moment she became one with him.

Rising, Roxanne picked up her clothes and dressed. It was time she returned to her own room. She was about to do so when the door of Luke’s bedchamber opened and a maid entered. She did not seem surprised to find Roxanne there and bobbed a curtsy.

‘Lord Clarendon said to tidy your chamber, Miss Roxanne, and then inform you that you could return. He told us he gave up his room for you last night because of what happened, miss. It must have been such a shock to find it that way.’

‘Yes, it was,’ Roxanne replied and glanced towards the bed. The sheets were open, as she’d left them, and she could see some small bloodstains. Her cheeks felt warm as she left the room. Luke had told the servants that she’d slept alone, but the maid would see the evidence of what had taken place here and she could hardly be expected to keep such knowledge to herself. The servants would smile to themselves and whisper that Lord Clarendon had anticipated his wedding night.

It was an embarrassing thought, but there was nothing she could do to change things. She could not go back and act differently, nor did she wish to in her heart. The dice was cast now. She had given herself to Luke body and soul. Roxanne had no intention of drawing back. If Luke did not wish for a loving wife, he would make his feelings known. She loved him, but she was strong enough to let him go when he needed to be free. She would not cling and weep as his mother had to her husband. Perhaps next time Luke came to her bed she would be more prepared and be able to control her feelings, giving herself with less abandon.

Making her way back to her own room, Roxanne wondered where Luke was. At what time had he left her and where had he gone?

Her bedchamber had been put to rights, everything back in its place and the scent of fresh lavender polish making it seem welcoming and normal. A frown touched her forehead as she remembered her distress the previous evening; it was that distress that had prompted Luke to kiss her and carried them both on a tide of passion.

What must he be thinking of her now? Roxanne knew that she had been abandoned, almost wanton in her passion, and wondered what Luke thought of the bargain he’d made. Was he regretting it? Was that why he’d left without waking her, because her passion had disgusted him—or did he simply want to ride in the early morning, as she knew he often did?

Roxanne washed in the warm water she found waiting for her and dressed in a fresh morning gown. She had brushed her hair into a knot at the back of her head and was about to leave when the door opened and her maid entered.

‘I did not ring, Tilly,’ she said. ‘I was able to manage for myself—but if you will take away my soiled things and see to them, please.’

‘Yes, Miss Roxanne.’ The girl bobbed a little curtsy. ‘I’ve washed all the things that were on the floor, miss, because I knew you would wish it. I came to tell you that you’re needed in the earl’s chambers. Marshall said to tell you that Lord Hartingdon is a little out of sorts this morning. It may have been all the excitement of last night, miss.’

‘Yes, perhaps.’ Roxanne looked at her in dismay. ‘Is he just a little tired or unwell?’

‘I’m not sure, miss. Marshall said to ask if you would come at once—and I think the doctor’s been sent for.’

‘I see…thank you,’ Roxanne said and went hurriedly from the room. If the doctor had been sent for, it was more than just a little tiredness.

Her heart was thudding as she walked along the hall to the earl’s chambers. She had become more than a little fond of the elderly gentleman and it would distress her if he were seriously ill. Luke had known that his grandfather was frail; it was for this reason that she had been brought here as Luke’s fiancée, but somehow she hadn’t expected anything to happen. Indeed, she’d hoped, expected that Hartingdon would go on for some years yet. If he died now…Roxanne shut out the unwelcome thought. She did not wish to think about such a prospect.

Reaching the earl’s room, she knocked softly and then entered. His manservant was in the small sitting room, but there was no sign of the earl.

‘How is he?’ she asked, her throat catching with emotion. ‘I was told he wished to see me?’

‘His lordship had a bit of a do first thing, miss,’ Marshall said. ‘I’ve persuaded him he should stay in bed and called the doctor just in case. His lordship wanted to see you, miss. He’s very fond of you—if you don’t mind my saying it.’

‘Not at all.’ Roxanne smiled at him. ‘The feeling is mutual. I was most concerned to hear he was unwell. May I see him, please?’

‘Go right in, miss. He might be dozing, but if you sit in the chair I’ve put ready he’ll see you when he wakes.’

‘Yes, of course. Thank you, that was so thoughtful, Marshall.’

‘We’re all pleased to have you here, miss. The family and servants both. We’ve taken you to our hearts, Miss Roxanne.’

She thanked him, her cheeks a little warm. Marshall would never show by gesture or innuendo that he knew she’d spent the night with Luke, but she doubted it was a secret. If her first child was not long in coming, the servants would count the months after the wedding back to the previous night.

The earl was resting as she walked softly into his bedchamber. He was lying back against a pile of pillows, his eyes closed, but as she bent over him to kiss his cheek he opened them and looked up at her.

‘Ah,’ he said in a satisfied tone. ‘There you are, girl. You did me proud last night, Roxanne. I was complimented on Luke’s happy choice many times. Most of them seem to think I must’ve arranged the whole business. I didn’t contradict ’em. You’re either a truly great actress or you were born to be a lady.’

‘Does it matter now, sir?’ Roxanne asked. She sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand. ‘It was a tiring evening for you. I hope you mean to be sensible and keep to your bed for a few days?’

‘You’re right, it don’t matter where you came from,’ he said and sighed. ‘You’ll make a good mother for my boy’s children and that’s what counts. I’m not sure he’ll make you a good husband, but you took him on and I think you’ll see it through. You won’t let me down?’

‘Do I look like a bolter?’

He gave a harsh laugh. ‘It’s a while since I heard that expression. Luke’s godmother used it when she was younger. She didn’t come to the ball. I was disappointed that she stayed away. Her influence on Luke was always for the good—but I suppose I scared her off with my harsh tongue. I must make it up to her before the wedding. I’ve mellowed a bit. In the old days I was sharper than a razor.’

‘I’m glad you’ve mellowed, sir.’

There was a hint of laughter in her voice and his brow lowered. ‘Are you mocking me, miss?’

‘Just a very little, sir. Do you not think it is time that someone did? Perhaps you have taken yourself a little too seriously at times—would you not say so?’

He glared at her, then made a sound between a snort and a guffaw. ‘You’re a minx, Roxanne. Think you’ve got me eating out of your hand, do you? I’m not to be fooled by a few smiles, miss.’

‘Why would I wish to fool you, sir? All I wish for is that we should live together happily as a family. I want to make you happy.’

‘Want to make Luke happy too?’ He raised his bushy brows at her. ‘Planning on getting him to settle down to married life—is that it?’

‘I am not sure that would be possible,’ Roxanne replied honestly. ‘However, it seems to me that you are very alike, sir. If what you both want is an heir for the family, I shall do my best to oblige.’

‘And what do you get out of it?’ The earl’s eyes were very bright. He was intent as he waited for her answer.

‘A home and perhaps affection,’ Roxanne said. ‘I shall make no demands on you or your grandson, sir—but if things go well I shall have children and perhaps they will give the unconditional love both you and Luke seem incapable of giving.’

‘Will that satisfy you, girl?’

‘I think it may have to,’ Roxanne replied. She saw his eyelids flicker and moved to the chair beside the bed. ‘You should try to rest for a little before the doctor comes, sir.’

‘You’re a fine girl, a decent girl,’ the earl said. ‘I’m not sure we’ve been fair to you. This is a selfish family, Roxanne. I think you deserve better.’

He closed his eyes and she saw that he was drifting into sleep. It had been a huge effort for him to attend the ball and he was very tired. She hoped that he was not actually any worse than before. Perhaps all he needed was a little rest.

Luke was greeted by the news that the doctor had been called when he returned from riding. He threw his crop and gloves on the sideboard in the hall and took the stairs two at a time. When he entered his grandfather’s sitting room, Marshall was just tidying the grate with a small brush. He put a finger to his lips.

‘He’s sleeping at the moment, sir. Miss Roxanne has been with him for the past two hours. The doctor came and said he was exhausted. He’s not to be upset and he must rest for at least a couple of weeks. Miss Roxanne was reading to him just now, but I think he may have gone off again for a while, because she stopped. Now she’s started again. She has a fine reading voice, sir. Your grandfather was chuckling away for a while there. Reading Shakespeare she was, but in a way I’ve not heard before.’

‘Thank you.’ Luke said. ‘Perhaps you have something you need to do elsewhere? I shall sit with my grandfather for a little now.’

‘Yes, sir. I’ll fetch up some brandy and warm water. It helps his lodship to sleep sometimes and the doctor said anything that made him rest was good.’

‘Yes, you do that,’ Luke said. He walked to the door of his grandfather’s bedchamber and then listened. Roxanne was reading The Taming of the Shrew and acting out the parts. He heard his grandfather chuckle and hesitated, hardly liking to intrude on what was clearly an enjoyable companionship.

‘You are a wicked minx, as I said before,’ the earl said and laughed. ‘I think you have missed your calling, Roxanne. You are wasted here. You should be on the London stage.’

‘I would much prefer to be here with you and Luke.’

‘I think you mean that,’ the earl said. ‘It isn’t just an act with you, is it, Roxanne?’

‘No, sir. I am very fond of you and…’

Luke walked in before she could finish. Roxanne was standing at the foot of the bed, a book of Shakespeare’s plays in her hand. She was smiling, but when she saw him, her cheeks turned pink and she glanced away from his searching gaze.

‘How are you, sir?’ Luke asked and went to his grandfather’s side. ‘I hear the doctor has been to visit you. I think you found the ball too much, sir. Perhaps we should postpone the wedding for a month or two?’

‘You will do no such thing on my account,’ the earl said. ‘It will take place as planned in three weeks from now or I’ll want to know the reason why.’

‘Please do not distress yourself, sir,’ Luke said quickly. ‘I was merely concerned for your health.’

‘My health is neither here nor there. I did not summon the family here for you to change your mind the next day, Clarendon.’

‘Please do not get upset, sir,’ Roxanne said and bent to touch his cheek. ‘I shall leave you with your grandson—Luke, you should not tire him. The doctor told me it is important that your grandfather rests as much as possible.’

‘Of course.’ Luke inclined his head stiffly. ‘I shall speak to you later, Roxanne.’

‘Of course, Luke. Whenever you wish.’

‘You’ll come to visit me again later, girl?’

Roxanne looked at the earl and smiled. ‘Of course. You must have a sleep when Luke leaves you, but I shall come back before dinner.’

Roxanne was sitting in the back parlour she favoured when Luke entered later that day. He frowned to find her alone and asked why she was not in the drawing room with their guests.

‘I wanted a period of quiet reflection,’ she said and stood up. ‘I shall join your Aunt Jane and Uncle Frederick for tea. Most of the others left an hour or so ago. Your Cousin Horatio asked for you, but I was forced to say that I did not know where you were, since I was told you were not with Grandfather.’

‘The earl asked to be left alone. He seems weaker than before. I fear that he may not live much longer. The doctor told me that if he takes a turn for the worse it could be his last illness.’

‘I know he seems very tired, but the ball took a great deal of his energy. I pray that he will recover. He so longs for an heir. It would be wonderful if he could at least know that a child was on the way.’

‘After last night that may already be the case.’ Luke frowned, turning to gaze out of the window. ‘I should apologise for what happened, Roxanne. I did not behave, as a gentleman ought. If I could change things, I would, but unfortunately we cannot turn back the clock.’

His words stung like the lash of a whip. If the previous night had been as wonderful for Luke as it had for her, he would not need to apologise.

‘I think no harm was done since we intended to marry as soon as the banns are called,’ she said. ‘It need only be a small affair. I see no reason why Grandfather should be forced to attend. He will be satisfied if all is done as it should be.’

‘You seem to be on excellent terms. I must bow to your superior judgement in this matter.’

She glanced at him. His lips were white and set in a thin line.

‘Are you angry with me for caring about his welfare?’ Roxanne asked in a carefully flat tone. His manner was so rigid, his anger barely under control. ‘The earl requested that I call him Grandfather. If it annoys you, I can be more formal.’

‘Why should you? He clearly likes it and you.’ Luke frowned as he turned to look at her. ‘Forgive me. I was anxious and when I’m anxious I become angry. I had no right to interfere.’

‘You have every right. I have not forgotten the reason you brought me here, Luke—but I find that my affections are engaged. Grandfather has been generous to me with his own affection and I genuinely wish to make him happy. I hope he will rally again, but I know that he could take a turn for the worse.’

‘If he should die, you would not need to keep your bargain.’

‘Should I not? That would be your decision, naturally.’ Roxanne got to her feet. ‘Excuse me, I should go and take tea with your family. If you wish to disappoint everyone, you must take the necessary steps, Luke. I gave my word to the earl and I shall not break it. However, I shall not hold you to a bargain you dislike so much. Please inform me of your wishes when you are ready. Now, if you will excuse me.’

She walked out of the room with her head high. Luke cursed himself for a fool. She had been on the verge of tears, but hiding it as best she could. He had hurt her and it was the last thing he wanted to do and yet he was hurting too, so badly that he was striking out blindly. He was so confused at this moment that he did not know what he wanted.

Waking to find Roxanne sleeping so sweetly in his bed had thrown his senses into disorder. She was beautiful, generous and passionate—what more could any man want in a wife? He knew that he had discovered a treasure beyond price and it frightened him. How could he ever deserve such a woman?

One day he would break her heart and she would leave him—she might be killed in an accident because he’d broken her heart. To know that he was guilty of bringing her to such misery would destroy him. If he loved her, he would lose her. Far better not to love than to love too much.