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8

Economics (from the Greek oikos, house and nomos, law) focuses on the husbanding of resources under conditions of scarcity. Scarcity is defined as a condition in which available resources are limited in relation to the total demand and need for them.

Cecilia Åström’s introduction to ‘The Development of the Discipline of Economics’

Vera was dissatisfied after the first few weeks of the semester. It felt more like she was studying mathematics than economics. She was supposed to accept some assumptions and then do calculations. The latter was no problem. It was also important to keep track of decimals when administering anesthesia, otherwise the patient might die or wake up in the middle of the operation, and that wasn’t exactly a situation you could just shrug off with an ‘ooops’.

Musing about whether or not her studies would turn out to be meaningful wasn’t the only thing that distracted her as she sat studying in her dorm room in the evenings. Stavenius was another distraction. It wasn’t so easy to concentrate on calculating marginal productivity curves when rhythmic bumping and ecstatic cries leaked through what seemed to be a paper-thin wall.

At first she mainly felt embarrassment and a little curious fascination that she dared not acknowledge. But that was before she realized that the sounds came from dealings with multiple women, not just his blonde girlfriend. It upset her, and suddenly she felt torn about how to respond. Should she pick up the phone and call her old classmate, even if she actually didn’t know Sandra at all? Or maybe not. It was absolutely clear that this was something Al Gore would call An Inconvenient Truth. And faced with inconvenient truths, people react differently. Vera knew that if it were her, she would absolutely want to know, regardless of the unpleasant consequences. But what did Barbie with the expensive handbags want? Vera decided not to say anything, but she wasn’t satisfied. Despite the fact that she had a hard time imagining a woman more different from herself than Sandra, Vera felt like she had let herself down.

The noise from the next room forced Vera to develop a routine. When it was really intrusive she usually banged the wall with the heel of her hand. But once, when the sound came through the bathroom wall, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It was some new voice that sounded like Meg Ryan in the famous fake-orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. Assuming that this girl wasn’t faking as skillfully as Meg, Vera felt like she didn’t have the heart to interrupt her during what was apparently a fantastic experience. And, based on her observations of Peter’s recent behavior towards a whole line of different women, it wouldn’t surprise Vera in the least if the woman in question imagined a future life together with him.

Vera was at least learning new words, and she tried to comfort herself with that. It was ‘homogeneous goods’ and ‘perfect competition’ and ‘marginal revenues,’ and she did the calculations correctly and passed her first test. But she was not at all convinced that it was really going to help her understand what was happening in the world. Furthermore, she had very palpable economic problems of her own. The rent for the dormatory was certainly affordable, but she also needed money for food, her student loans and the bus. Vera agreed with her mother that additional student loans were unthinkable, but working part-time at Solbacka didn’t even pay enough to cover her modest expenses.

The time Adam called and she actually managed to collect herself enough to answer, he had sounded strangely brisk, and she had become nauseated and tongue-tied. Later she would realize that the few things she had managed to say had been lies. Yes, she was fine. Everything would work out, as long as he stopped apologizing all the time. Yes, she looked forward to seeing him; maybe next month? And no, no, she didn’t need any money. In fact, she had already been forced to borrow a little from her dad, Sven-Erik, which was definitely a short-term, emergency measure. She just needed to admit it: She was poor.

It was Tuesday when Cissi Åström called. She wanted to invite Vera to lunch after Wednesday’s lecture. They met in one of the stairwells in a corner of the large student cafeteria.

‘Hi. You sounded surprised when I called,’ smiled Cissi.

‘Surprised? I… guess maybe I don’t expect you to remember all the students you meet,’ Vera said.

‘A jungle midwife, the star of the summer course? That you remember.’

Vera smiled as they went slowly up the stairs. ‘Oh. Thanks. Otherwise I felt like I mainly just asked irritating questions. I think I made Stavenius go haywire.’

‘No, he appreciated your interest,’ said Cissi, thinking she was speaking the truth. ‘And such students are in short supply. By the way, you know that it was Peter who fixed the dorm room for you?’

‘I thought it was you and Kalle.’ Vera suddenly felt a little discomfort in her stomach.

‘No, I don’t know Kalle; it was Peter who talked to him.’

Vera couldn’t understand why he, of all people, would have done anything for her, but she pushed the question away. Once they had settled themselves in a quiet corner with their vegetarian pasta Vera said: ‘Now it’s my turn to listen to you. Who is Cecilia Åström?’

Cissi cocked her head and observed Vera as she took her first bite. She started to talk about her childhood in a village a little to the south, about her parents’ passion for dressing unique individuals. How she and her older sister had grown up in the family’s stylish clothing store, which people from the city flocked to because of the exceptional service. There was something about Vera’s quiet openness that led Cissi to tell her things that she didn’t mention to many people. For example, the sad ending to the story of the family clothing store. When Vera asked why they were forced to close, Cissi shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘Increased competition and new shopping habits.’

Nonetheless, Vera could see that something important lived on, because when Cissi talked about things that ‘really fit’, her eyes shone with enthusiasm. ‘It’s all about starting from what you’ve got. And paying attention to detail and how things go together. It’s hard to explain. I still think like that, even in this job.’

‘Yeah, it can be like that,’ answered Vera. ‘Me, I think that health and economics are connected.’

‘Yes, right… speaking of that. The thing is, the department has won a contest.’

‘Oh?’ said Vera and put down her knife and fork.

‘It is a big research project about securing future well-being and welfare. The first thing we’re going to do is write a book, with different authors for each chapter.’

Vera listened thoughtfully, heard Cissi talk about ‘multi-disciplinary’ and ‘alternative perspectives,’ but didn’t understand why she was telling her all this. Not until Cissi came right out and said, ‘We want you to be involved and describe the landscape.’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, we want you to write one of the chapters. Well, you have to do an interview first, and show the old guard in the department that you aren’t completely clueless about economics, but I can help you prepare.’

Vera’s heart pounded and Cissi continued enthusiastically. ‘The goal is to help create conditions that secure people’s future, in Sweden and Europe. It’s actually an opportunity to make a difference!’

Is it possible? That influential people will listen to what a nurse has to say about welfare?

For a dizzying instant, Vera strongly felt the antenna that, for so long, had connected her to the meaning of the universe. It was a glittering second, but then the force that called itself realism spoke instead.

‘You know… my mother told me that a full-time, temporary position at the geriatric home where I work is probably going to become available. Somebody has a chronic shoulder problem. If so, I’ll probably take it.’

Cissi stared at Vera. ‘I thought… I thought you if anyone… Didn’t you say you wanted to do something for the world? You realized that the economic system has such an impact on the world that you would be able to do more if you understood how it worked? And answer that question: “Little brothers and sisters, what are you doing?’”

‘Yeah.’ Vera’s heart beat harder. Her brain felt like mush, her thoughts slow and elusive. She was reminded of Pierre’s words… What was it he used to say with that accent that made his words feel like butterflies? Be careful what you wish for. It may come true. Wasn’t this one of those times? What was keeping Vera from accepting the peculiar mission that had kept her afloat in recent months? Wasn’t it a miraculous coincidence that she had been sustained by what most people would call an unrealistic ambition and then suddenly been offered a chance to pursue it? A chance to give it a try in reality?

It was the word ‘reality’ that made Vera see the obstacle so clearly. She said, ‘but I need a job because, to be honest, I’m… insolvent.’ It was a new word for broke that she had learned. ‘I mean, I don’t even know if I can continue taking the introductory course.’

Cissi saw that the solution was right in front of her. She didn’t feel the same spontaneous happiness about it, but she was supposed to work a miracle. ‘If it’s money you need then we can fix it. You get a stipend of 40,000 kronor this semester and the same amount in the spring if you write a chapter.’

Vera stared at Cissi as if she were offering manna from heaven. Now there was nothing else to blame it on. Now it was only courage that she needed. And her urge to take on the task was so strong that she would just have to develop courage along the way. ‘Oh!… Thanks! I mean, yes, thanks! I’d love to write a chapter!’

Almost all of Vera’s things were at Adam’s, in the apartment in Stockholm. She really needed to go there, if for no other reason than to retrieve most of her clothes. After five weeks in the dorm, when the fall chill began to come, she particularly missed her dark jeans and forest-green wool sweater with the large, cozy collar.

It was strange. She could no longer bring herself to entertain the thought of going home. But a trip to Stockholm. It would have to be at the weekend, in two weeks: the beginning of October. She took a deep breath. Then perhaps her mother and Eva would also stop asking. In recent weeks her mother had started talking about ‘for better or worse’, and Vera knew very well what she was referring to. It wasn’t always a matter of doing what you felt like. She had made a promise.

Besides, she had basically already told Adam that she would come.