Читать книгу Gathered Up - Annabeth Albert - Страница 15

Chapter 6

Teasing is an essential part of life and of design. As treatment zaps Hala Mira’s strength, I find myself looking for new ways to surprise and delight her. I see this coming out in my latest designs, too, that element of the unexpected, the whimsical where one least expects it. And as for myself…yes, I do enjoy teasing as well, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.—Evren’s Yarnings

My obsession with Ev’s voice grew by leaps and bounds after our almost phone sex, but while our conversations stayed flirty the next few days, we didn’t reenter the one-handed conversation territory again. Pity.

“Are you working tomorrow night?” Ev asked as that week’s Knit Night wound down. Violet and the triplets were making Mira laugh, which was a great sight to see. The triplets this week were in matching fake fur vests with gaudy plastic buttons and glittery fringe.

“I’m not. I’ll have the kids until eight or so, when Renee gets home. What were you thinking?”

“Beer. I was thinking about beer. Or wine. A glass, in person, I think? Maybe halfway between you and me?”

“Perfect. I know just the spot. I can’t stay out too late, though. I open the next morning.” And I couldn’t leave the kids overnight. Not that I was leaping that far ahead, but my body sure wouldn’t mind if we did jump straight from we can drink in person to let’s get naked.

“Likewise. We will have a nice drink.” Ev nodded solemnly, like he would will it so. I tried to have the same certainty.

* * * *

Unfortunately, right when I was staring at the fridge trying to decide what I could make the kids for dinner before I grabbed a fast shower, my phone buzzed with a message from Renee.

Home late. Studying with friends. Sorry :(

No, she wasn’t sorry. She’d been pulling this a lot lately—going out with friends when she said she’d be home to help. I tried calling her, but it went straight to voice mail. Fuck.

Just one night. One beer. Maybe a little groping. Was that too much to ask the universe? Apparently so.

My phone buzzed a second time, but it was Ev, not Renee, on the line.

“I’m sorry,” we both said at the same time.

“I need to cancel,” I said.

“Rain check?” he said, and we both laughed.

“My sister won’t be home to take the kids.” I groaned. “So sorry.”

“It is okay. Mira, her pain is not so good tonight. She’s barely eaten anything all day. She keeps talking about ice cream. Not store ice cream. Some strange stuff with bacon.” Ev said bacon the way I might say pubic hair.

“Oh, she wants Salt and Straw!”

“Where is that?” Ev sounded so weary and worried about her that I wished I could rub his neck.

I looked over at the kids doing their homework at the table and at the uninspiring contents of the fridge. “It’s on Alberta. Not far. Could I bring you some? I can tell you don’t want to leave her.”

“I don’t.” Ev made a pained noise. “I shouldn’t make you go out with the kids. However, I do have a whole pot of soup here that Mira doesn’t want. Could we trade soup for the ice cream with bacon?”

“Absolutely. And trust me: the second I say ice cream these guys are going to be all over me. Shall we see you in about an hour or so?”

I made sure that everyone had their reflectors, helmets, and pads on, and then we took the side roads to Salt & Straw, home of some of the most bizarre ice cream flavors in America and a beloved Portland institution. Jonas and I had skateboards, while the twins had the bikes Renee and I had gotten them from Santa the year before. Finding matching bikes at a decent price was totally my best Craigslist find ever. As predicted, the kids were incredibly overjoyed about getting cones. The gourmet ice cream was a pricey treat, but it was nice to be able to indulge them for once.

Madison and Morgan got lavender and strawberry balsamic cones respectively and traded licks while Jonas went straight for the chocolate. I got Mira the bourbon and bacon ice cream and Ev some artisanal olive oil ice cream I knew Mr. Quality over Quantity would enjoy. The kids finished their small cones before we even reached the store.

Ev met us at the backstairs of Iplik. “You will want to put the bikes in here, girls. And the skateboards too, yes? I have the soup set out for you upstairs.”

We stowed our stuff in the storage room at the back of the store and then followed Ev up the rear stairs that came out in the back of the apartment.

“I got you a flavor, too—no bacon. You’ll like it.” I held out the cartons.

“I will put it in the freezer, but first: soup.” He led us to a surprisingly large dining room. I’d assumed the kitchen nook was their only eating area, but this was a real family dining room, with a round table covered in a crisp floral-print cloth and bowls of steaming soup and bread set out. The chairs all matched and the space had terrific energy—like you could sense the joy the room had held. I could almost picture Ev and his aunts enjoying a lot of happy meals there when he was a teenager.

“Oh, I thought you’d just send us back home with plasticware,” I said stupidly. The kids raced around, grabbing seats.

“Nonsense.” Ev shook his head. “Mira is set with her show. We won’t disturb her, but we can enjoy a meal together.”

“Mira is not set with her show.” A weak-voiced Mira came to the door of the dining room. “We have guests. I will sit at my table a bit, I think. You will bring my cushions?”

“Certainly, Hala.” Ev scurried away and returned with two pillows. He arranged her like a queen, fussing with her shawl.

“And I think…” She winked at the kids. “I will be very naughty and have my ice cream instead of the soup.”

“We had our ice cream first, too!” Madison announced. “Mine was lavender. Brady says it tastes like soap. But I love it.”

“It is indeed good to have things you love,” Mira said indulgently. Her voice was weak and a bit slurred.

“She’s had her pain meds,” Ev whispered in my ear. “She’ll probably sleep soon, but it is good, I think, for her to see the children.”

I wasn’t so sure. My siblings were hardly low stress, attacking the soup and bread like they hadn’t just had the ice cream treat. They bickered over whose bread had more butter and reached around each other to trade napkins based on color preferences. The soup was really good, though—an interesting mix of barley and spices and ground meat. It was hearty and fortifying and I shared Ev’s disappointment that Mira couldn’t enjoy it. She ate two or three small teaspoons of ice cream, then put her spoon down.

She mainly seemed to soak in our chaos. She kept smiling at Ev and me encouragingly. She doesn’t want Ev to be alone. My gut twisted because I got what she wanted for him and I couldn’t be that guy—my life was too much of a mess and I didn’t have time to give him the focus he deserved. Even a quickie at some point seemed like a pipe dream.

The soup she couldn’t eat was a heavy weight in my stomach. She may not come back from this. I’d known that of course, but this was the first time the reality of her situation really smacked me. Ev was always so positive on the phone—another treatment, another drug, anything to strive for. He really believed she could beat the odds. Even now, he hovered over her so sweetly. What will happen to him if she goes? I didn’t want to think about that.

“And now, I think it’s time for my TV. A movie perhaps? Would you children like to choose for me?” she asked in a thready voice.

“Oh, we don’t need to stay. You need your rest.” I shot the twins a look so they wouldn’t contradict me.

“Nonsense. I will doze better in the company of these young spirits. And they can choose me something uplifting. Evren will settle me nicely. And you can both have a visit.”

The kids were already racing ahead of her to the living room on the promise of TV. I sighed. “I’ll help with the dishes. And you’ll tell us if they tire you out?”

“We will watch about princesses. It will be lovely. Do not worry.” She patted my cheek as she slowly made her way after the kids.

“She sleeps most nights in the recliner now,” Ev said, following to settle her in the chair. “Says she can’t get comfortable.”

“I’m right here, Evren aşkim. My ears still work. And I’m an old lady now. I’ve earned my right to sleep where I wish…” she trailed off sleepily.

“Absolutely, Hala.” Ev kissed her cheek as he drew the covers over her. “You are warm?”

“Go, enjoy your friend.” She made a shooing motion.

“Lead me to your dishes,” I said to Ev.

We made quick work of clearing the table. Ev whisked off the cloth and replaced it with a sunny yellow one from a sideboard.

“Sorry the kids ruined the cloth with soup spills.”

“Nonsense.” His dismissive noise sounded exactly like Mira. “That’s why we have a cloth. And it has brightened Mira so much to have them here. Better than a pain pill.”

We headed to the kitchen, and doing dishes with Ev was miles better than doing them on my own. For one, he had a dishwasher; for another, I got to watch his hands and experience a lot of accidental brushes and bumps as we worked. Or not so accidental. We were definitely wandering away from strictly friends territory, but I didn’t want to spook him until we reached the destination.

Ev kept checking on Mira and the kids every few minutes. Finally, he leaned against the counter next to me as I washed the last big pot.

“This is so fucking hard.” He almost never cursed, so he must have been worn thin by worry over Mira. “She’s lost thirty pounds. Withering away. And the chemo…Sorry. I don’t mean to vent.”

“Vent away.” I rubbed his back. Not an I-want-to-seduce-you gesture. Two friends. He needed touch and I needed to give it. “I get it. This would overwhelm anyone.”

“How do you do it? With the kids, I mean? Taking care of her feels a bit like parenting in a way. Like our roles are reversed now.”

“Oh man.” I groaned. I’d never voiced this before. “I went from asking for permission to be out all night to having three kids who needed me for everything and a fourth who had to grow up way too fast. I barely slept the first year. Terrified the social workers would take them. Terrified I wasn’t up to it.”

“I worry about that every night…” Ev relaxed into my touch more, stretching like a cat. God, it had been so long since I’d touched anyone like this. “I worry I can’t do this. But I am. And I have to.”

“One day at time,” I said. “That’s what gets me through. I can’t think of the future. Just until the next school pickup, the next dinner.”

“One doctor’s appointment to the next. That’s the space I’m living in right now,” Ev said quietly. “There’s not room for anything else.”

There was heavy subtext in both our words. There was a huge gap between what we wanted and what we could have. And that gap did nothing to diminish the heat arcing between our bodies. We stood there in quiet commiseration for several long moments, me rubbing his back. I gradually became aware of him staring at my mouth.

I glanced at the doorway. No kids. Happy singing coming from the living room. Glanced back. Ev was still staring. Fine. Two could play at that. I looked at his lips and his hands and all points in between.

You need? Go ahead and take, I said with my eyes. I wasn’t going to make the first move. That wasn’t the dynamic I wanted between us. I could push, sure, but I wanted him to do the leaping on his own.

He turned so that he was trapping me against the counter. Yes. My exhalation echoed through the small kitchen.

“I find I keep thinking of our phone conversation the other night,” he said, his breath close enough to ghost across my face.

“Yeah?”

“Enthusiasm…it is maybe missing from both our lives, yes?”

“Absolutely.” Let me show you how enthusiastic I can be.

“And it is not so…casual to want just a taste?”

“We’re friends. Not a bar hookup. Friends. And maybe we both need a friend right now.” An enthusiastic, kiss-me-senseless friend.

“I think so.” Ev’s hands bracketed either side of me on the counter, and he leaned in, body a firm pressure against mine, lips against my ear. “Show me.”

And then he was kissing me, deep sips of lips and tongue. He worshipped my lips as if he’d been dreaming about them for weeks, and I was no better, inhaling him. I was usually good at taking my time, ramping up slowly, toying with who had control of the kiss, but with Ev, the kiss started in a desperate place and only got more frantic.

“That’s very…enthusiastic,” he said, pulling back for air. “But you can do better.”

Oh fuck yes. Give me directions. I nipped at his lips, inviting him to do the same to me. I opened for his tongue and sucked hard until he started the sort of tongue fucking that had me arching against him, dick straining to get closer.

Heck, enough of this and I could come, no problem. My hands clung to his shoulders, trying to pull him tighter. And it didn’t feel like simple relief and release either—it felt an awful lot like comfort despite the roughness of our actions, and I wanted to sink into it.

A loud laugh from the other room—one of the girls—wormed its way into my head. My hands relaxed their hold and my lips slowed, sanity returning in sips and gulps.

“Brady, come watch,” Jonas called.

Fuck. I slumped against Ev, my forehead to his chin.

“That was not just a taste—it was a meal,” Ev mused, his breath ruffling my hair.

“No, it wasn’t.” I groaned. “Fuck, that was good, Ev. Let’s do that again sometime?”

“Without an audience would be ideal.” He still hadn’t released me.

“Six hours with a locked door is now item one on my life goals list.”

“Mine too, and I might add tying you to the bed for half of it,” Ev said lightly.

“You’re killing me, Ev. You really are.”

He finally let go of me and removed two bowls from a nearby cupboard. “But right now, we have ice cream.”

“That is absolutely no consolation,” I grumbled, but I accepted the serving he dished up and followed him into the living room, brain still foggy from the kissing. The kids had taken over the couch, so I took the floor in front of them. To my surprise, Ev took a seat next to me.

As the movie progressed, our feet bumped. At first it was accidental, then more deliberate contact, little reminders of what we’d shared in the kitchen. We smiled at each other, the best kind of secret between us. Across from us, Mira dozed in her recliner, breathing slow and steady. It was…homey. Made me sleepy, so much niceness.

The twins were starting to nod off, too…“Oh crap.” I nudged them with my foot. “We still need to ride back, sleepyheads.”

“Do not worry,” Ev said. “Mira is resting peacefully. I can take you in her Subaru. We’ll put their bikes in back.”

“Will you carry me?” Madison stretched her arms out like she was four, not seven.

“Me too.” Morgan repeated the gesture.

And so I ended up carrying one twin and Ev, the best sport in the whole world, took the other, Jonas trailing behind us. Mira’s Subaru was peppered with knitting-inspired bumper stickers and was at least ten years old, but I was profoundly grateful not to have to herd sleepy kids home.

It was a short drive, but all three kids were asleep in the backseat when we pulled into the apartment complex. Ev spent a long time looking in the rearview mirror at them, contemplating.

“Yes, we can risk it,” I said and leaned in for a quick kiss. I was careful not to ramp things up like in the kitchen, but even this quick contact felt full of promise, and it made me want all sorts of things I couldn’t have.