Читать книгу Gathered Up - Annabeth Albert - Страница 18

Chapter 9

Because we have spent so much time on gift knits the last few months, dear friends, I wanted to share my latest design with you. And I know I’m going to have a hundred comments, all asking me about the recipient, and all I can say is: no comment. Not yet at least…—Evren’s Yarnings

The day of my birthday was the sort of perfect Portland spring day that makes all the rainy months worth it—gorgeous blue skies, mild temperatures, and green everywhere we looked. People too. The buses and sidewalks were crammed with people soaking up the change in seasons. The zoo was packed, but the kids had a great time. We didn’t have the money to do many outings like this, so it was nice to indulge them a bit. The girls wore the flowers Ev had knit them, and I posed them by a statue and sent him the picture. He replied back quickly.

Happy birthday, tatlim. I am looking forward to later ;)

Ha. I sincerely doubted there would be anything to wink over tonight, not with the kids and Mira around and Renee glued to her phone like it was a needy infant, responding to the slightest beep with a little excited “oh!” Yeah, no way was I getting her to watch the kids long enough for us to sneak off. And I also really needed to download a Turkish translator app. I knew he liked sneaking the little Turkish pet names in, but I really wanted some sort of hierarchy to them that could magically reveal how he felt about me. Was he over the bisexual bias enough to see me as more than a friend with benefits? Did I want to be seen that way? I studied the flamingo exhibit, like the gaudy birds might have a clue about my twisted feelings.

“Come on, Brady! Snakes are next!” Jonas bounced on his feet. Slimy reptiles. That was more like it. No mooning over fanciful creatures and even more unrealistic thoughts. I might love—

Wait. Where did that thought come from? I most certainly was not falling in love with Ev. Even I wasn’t that stupid.

“Wait up, buddy! We’re coming, too.” Stop thinking impossible things. Focus on the kids.

My thoughts were still jumbled when we arrived at Ev and Mira’s that night, lumpy cake in tow. It was supposed to be vanilla with chocolate frosting and sprinkles, but it looked more landslide than layer cake. The twins had taken a very rare nap when we’d come home, leaving me and Jonas to make the cake while Renee murmured sweet nothings into her phone.

Balancing the cake on the bus ride up Alberta didn’t help its appearance any. Ev let us in the back entrance, and he was exceedingly polite to Renee, whom he was meeting for the first time. When we reached the top of the stairs, he did that thing again where he kept looking at my mouth. I might not know exactly how we felt about each other, but I knew what that signal meant.

I brushed a quick kiss across his mouth, reveling in how his whole body seemed to light up from the contact.

“Eww.” Renee rolled her eyes. “If you get to make out with your boyfriend, does that mean I can bring Indigo over when I have the kids tomorrow?”

“Absolutely not.” I had rules with her about having friends over when she was watching the kids for good reason. I did, however, notice that neither Ev nor I corrected her about the boyfriend label.

“What can I help you with?” I asked him in the kitchen a few minutes later, once we got the kids settled in the living room with a TV program and a dozing Mira.

“This.” Ev pushed me against the fridge, kissing me hungrily. He licked at my lips before spearing me with his talented tongue. I loved when he took charge like this, and I was grateful the cold press of the fridge held me upright and kept me from combusting.

“Happy birthday,” Ev said as he pulled away. “Now you may help me plate things.”

“No fair.” I laughed. “You turn me into goo and then you put me to work?”

“Exactly.” He winked at me.

“Sorry Renee’s being pissy,” I said as I held a platter for Ev to arrange skewers of meat on. “She’s all hung up on this boy.”

“I know the feeling.” He gave me a long, searching look that made me shift from foot to foot. “Waiting for the next text.”

My laugh was tinged with the relief that I wasn’t alone in the craziness. “Counting down the hours until the house is quiet enough to call.”

“Trying to figure out how much kissing you can get away with on the clock.” He dumped a bunch of rice into a bowl.

I cast a glance back toward the living room. “Or with small people around.”

“At least one more.” Ev set the rice down and pulled me into the corner for another scorching kiss.

“Okay. Maybe I can’t be too hard on her,” I said, panting hard as we finally came up for air. “Does it bug you when the kids call you my boyfriend?”

“Should it?” Ev raised an eyebrow.

“No! I mean, I’m not encouraging it, but I wouldn’t mind…” I trailed off, not sure how much of my inner wants to reveal.

“Yes, you wouldn’t mind?” Ev encouraged, still all crowded into my space, not giving me room to regroup.

“I wouldn’t mind if it was…accurate.”

“Well, I am a male. And we are very good friends, yes?”

“Yeah…” I drew the word out. “If you want to get technical. But there are other definitions…”

“And you are going to let the kebabs get cold while you figure out which is most accurate?” Ev raised both eyebrows this time, his expression pure mirth. He had me on the ropes and he knew it.

“You’re enjoying this far too much,” I grumbled.

“The Knit Night ladies keep calling you my boyfriend, too,” Ev mused. “And as with the children, I strangely do not mind. Do we need a specific definition? Isn’t it enough to just enjoy this…whatever? For however long I’m still needed here?”

I need you here always. I realized with the sharp clarity of a perfect espresso shot that I didn’t want a whatever with Ev. I wanted the standard definition—the not seeing other people, cuddling up at the end of the day, putting each other first....

And there the fantasy fell apart because that wasn’t happening for either of us. We barely had time for discreet kissing, let alone a real relationship.

But damned if I didn’t want one.

“No phone at the table,” I said to Renee for the third time. She’d been hiding it in her palm and under the tablecloth, but I knew what she was up to.

“You texted Ev during dinner the other night,” she accused. She wasn’t wrong, and I resolved to crack down on both of us, even during quick meals.

“I had a good reason,” I lied. “And we are guests. Put the phone away.”

“It is fine.” Mira smiled indulgently at us. Her smile wasn’t quite worth the awkward family argument, though, and I needed Renee not to be rude.

“Fine. I think I’m taking off after dinner anyway. I’ve got a huge test tomorrow.”

“So you’re going home to study?” I couldn’t keep the skepticism from my voice.

“Library.” She studied her flat bread intently, refusing to meet my eyes. “There’re too many distractions at home.”

I had a feeling there was a six-foot distraction named Indigo at the library, but I leveled a glare at her instead.

“I can take you and the children home later,” Ev said to me.

“Wonderful.” Renee gave him a gold-medal smile. “See, Brady? It’ll all work out. You get to hang out with your boyfriend and I get to…study.”

I coughed. “Invite Indigo to get a coffee with you at People’s Cup this week. I think I need to lay eyeballs on this kid.”

“No!” Her eyes went wide. “You’ll scare him off. Besides, I haven’t exactly told him about…you.”

I had no idea whether she meant telling him about me being a bisexual and kind-of/sort-of having a boyfriend or telling him about me and the kids and her home responsibilities, but we couldn’t have this conversation in front of Ev and Mira. Ev got twitchy whenever the word bi came up, and besides, we didn’t need to air our family business in front of them when they had way more serious problems to confront.

“Bring him by,” I said sternly. “And we’ll talk more later.”

“You know, tatlim, it is always better to be honest,” Ev said to Renee. Wait. She was tatlim, too? I was back to feeling muddled about what Ev felt about me and what whatever meant.

Renee rolled her eyes at both of us and wasted no time in escaping as soon as her plate was empty. She didn’t even stick around for cake, which honestly was probably for the best. Her negative attitude had spread toxic vibes over the whole evening. She and I were going to have a long heart-to-heart very soon.

She gave me an IOU card for an evening off bedtime duty on her way out and my frustration softened a bit. She knew me better than anyone. No way could I raise these kids without her help.

Jonah shyly offered up the lumpy knit square he’d been working on all week. “It’s kind of a cross between a coaster and a towel and a scarf,” he said.

“I love it,” I said and ruffled his hair.

The twins both made me books with stick-figure pictures and uneven writing, and my throat burned as I thought about how much Mom had loved gifts like that. “Can I take these to work? Show them off?” I asked, my voice a bit gruffer than usual.

“You should frame them,” Madison said confidently.

“I don’t want people looking at mine,” Morgan said. “I made it just for you.”

“Fair enough,” I said and turned my attention to the last package on the table. It was wrapped in shiny silver paper with a brown fabric ribbon with crisp corners and a perfect tape job worthy of a high-end department store. And it was exactly the wrong setting for Ev’s attention to detail to be turning me on, but then he glanced at the ribbon, and oh so subtly at my wrists, and I had to shift in the chair.

“This is from Mira and me,” Ev said, clearing his throat as he glanced away from my wrists.

“Oh, aşkim, you did most of the work,” she demurred. “I did a bit of finishing and blocking, that’s all.”

I opened the package to reveal a pair of hand-knit socks—and unlike the muted earth tone palate Ev preferred for himself, these were a sensuous ocean of undulating blue and green stripes. They reminded me of the trip to Seaside I’d taken with some friends senior year—back before everything had gotten complicated. They seemed to radiate peacefulness and were so soft I had to resist the urge to put them to my face.

“There is too much black in your wardrobe,” Ev said. “I would dress you in all blues if I could.”

“Uh. Thanks.” I knew I was blushing. Ev seemed to have a thing for my eyes, which I swore were a normal, average shade of blue but which Ev called “arrestingly bright.” He liked to make me look at him while we were making out. And there I went, thinking about sex at the dinner table again.

“I love the socks,” I said. I knew better than to ask how he’d guessed my foot size—knowing how sneaky he could be, he’d probably looked at my shoes last time they’d been on his floor, which was not something I needed the kids knowing.

“They are not a sweater,” he said with far more gravity than necessary. “But I confess to having shared the pattern on my blog last night. I call it ‘Barista Blues.’”

“You blogged about me?” Oh Ev, you marvelous bundle of contradictions.

“I blogged about socks.” Ev looked away, cheeks turning pink.

“Evren, you should show him the blog,” Mira urged. “My Evren is one of the most popular knitting bloggers. His fans all love the new pattern—”

“Who would like to help me bring out the cake?” he asked the kids, effectively ending the discussion of his blog. That was fine. I might not have Renee or Jonah’s computer skills, but I could work some Google-fu on his name later. And I planned to tease the heck out of him about his fans, too.

“I want to help!” Jonah said.

“Most certainly,” Ev said, smiling at him. Silly guy. I could have predicted what happened next.

“No, me!” Morgan made the sound of the mortally wounded.

“No fair!” Madison tried to beat the other two around the table.

All three chased after Ev into the kitchen.

“I am so happy you and Evren are friends,” Mira said, shifting in her chair. She had barely eaten dinner, managing a bit of bread and a bit of yogurt sauce and a tiny dab of the warm hummuslike dish. “He needs someone like you in his life.”

Someone with three kids and more baggage than PDX could hold? I didn’t think so, but I smiled politely. “He’s a great guy.”

“And so are you.” She smiled expectantly at me, and I didn’t know what she wanted me to say. Did she want me to declare feelings for Ev that I wasn’t certain he returned? A future commitment? A whatever didn’t exactly bode well for the longevity of our friendship. I fingered the soft, fine yarn of the socks. Surely the care in them reflected something of Ev’s feelings right?

Luckily, I was saved from answering Mira by the return of the kids and Ev. He was hovering over Jonas and Morgan, who were balancing the cake platter between them.

“Hey, why does Jonas get to hold more?” Madison bumped Morgan, who jostled the platter.

“Watch out!” Ev called as the platter tipped precariously. Next thing I knew, I was wearing the cake—icing in my hair, cake down my shirt, in my lap, and the rest landing on the pretty sky-blue tablecloth.

“Ugh.” I groaned.

“Oops.” Madison’s eyes went wider than the now empty cake plate.

“Does this mean no dessert?” Jonas sounded close to tears.

“I have some cookies. And a towel,” Ev said, way more pragmatically than I could have. I was surprised he didn’t get mad or scold the kids for not listening to him. Lord knew, I was still taking deep breaths and counting to fifty before I spoke.

“I need a shower,” I said, finally finding my voice and an even tone as Ev handed me a faded towel to brush off the crumbs. Getting the worst of the cake mess off, though, did nothing about all the frosting in my hair.

“You already had one. A crumb shower.” Ev laughed, and once he started laughing, we all joined in. It was pretty hilarious once you got over the whole no-cake-to-eat thing.

“Chocolate-covered Brady,” Jonas said and set us all off laughing anew.

“Evren, you will take young Brady and the children home,” Mira said, coughing between weak laughs. “And take your time, aşkim. Stay and help your friend out.”

“You will be okay, Hala?” Ev asked.

“I plan to take my medications, put on my show, and doze until tomorrow. I will be fine. You will see your friend home.”

“All right.” Ev nodded, then gave me a smile that started both of us laughing again. It was a good, cleansing laugh, a balm against the awkwardness of Renee’s leaving in a huff, a buffer against the realities of Mira’s illness. Our eyes met and the laughter shifted to something hotter, the latent heat between us rising again. I gave him a sly smile as I started scheming how I could get my lips on him again. Screw cake—it was Ev I’d been craving all along.