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Chapter 2

Acknowledge People

Acknowledgement is the recognition of the importance or quality of something. It is the acceptance of the truth or existence of something. Everyone wants appreciation for their work, experiences, and reality. By recognising your family members, friends, colleagues, customers, and others; it helps you connect with them on a personal level. Acknowledgement is one thing that we don't think about until we notice it is missing.

Most people have one defining need that rarely gets satisfied. Many of us will move heaven and earth to satisfy this need. This need is the single most motivating factor that leads to success. It is the need to feel important. The person who can satisfy this need in others can be very influential and is typically regarded by others as a good leader. You can tell much about an individual by what makes them feel important.

Acknowledging others may seem unimportant in practice, but it pays huge dividends when it is done consistently and sincerely. Maya Angelou once said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." So, what will people remember you for?

We spend plenty of time worshipping people in the media whom we have never met but go about without acknowledging the everyday people in our lives. It is not everyone that will be praised in a public ceremony, yet, you can easily show people that they matter in many different ways, as enumerated in the following paragraphs.

TYPES OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Acknowledgement can fall into three categories, namely:

Character: which includes qualities such as confidence, friendliness, helpfulness, or their physical appearance.

Ability: which includes doing something well or the ease with which someone completes a task.

Influence: which includes someone's ability to motivate or inspire others.

HOW TO ACKNOWLEDGE PEOPLE

When acknowledging people, you should always be authentic. False acknowledgement will not develop confidence nor lead to improved performance nor better relationships.

Below are the most common ways you can acknowledge people in an authentic manner:

Appearance and wellbeing

Appearance is the most common form of acknowledgement. It can feel the most obligatory or superficial. It often happens in social situations, as we compliment someone's outfit, level of physical vitality, or overall design aesthetic.

A skill or talent you admire

As you reflect on how this person does his or her job, what skills and abilities do you see? Consider skills and talents even if they are not an essential part of their job. Do they have any interests outside the office that you admire? Is this person concise and articulate in communication? Can you think of a story that validates this talent? Do they have the ability to resolve conflict without avoiding it? Do they speak other languages?

A quality you wish to emulate

When you interact with this person, what qualities come forward that you admire? Are they patient, optimistic or resilient?

How has this person touched your life?

Have you ever laughed at yourself by working with this person? Has their presence made a problematic task bearable? Are you more tolerant or curious as a result of their influence? People typically give the type of acknowledgements they are most likely to receive from others. Therefore, pay close attention to what this individual affirms in others. If there is friction or conflict, you will have to look long and hard for something to appreciate in another person.

Say "Thank You"

“Thank you” is a little phrase that goes a long way. Acknowledging people is the root of engaging with them and connecting your greatness with their greatness. When you shine a light on another, you bring their soul to your attention. You need to show gratitude for the people in your life. Whether at work, at home or on a special holiday, you can acknowledge people, even though you may be very busy!

Reflect a time when you did something good for someone, and they did not consider it important to acknowledge you with thanks. How did you feel? So, whether it is the waiter handing you your dinner bill or your partner folding your laundry, remember to say "thank you", and mean it. Do not under-estimate the power of those two words when it comes to appreciation and acknowledgement.

Focus on the Positive

It is very natural to point out what other people do wrong rather than what they do right. Next time you are about to criticise someone, stop and think of something good you can say about them instead. Always balance love with positive feedback. Both children and adults need reassurance that they are doing something right in their life.

Give Gifts.

Think of a reason or occasion to give someone a gift outside of a birthday, anniversary or holiday. Or perhaps, have no reason at all – just give! A gift could be a present, a meal, a compliment, an outing or anything extraordinary you do for another person. You don't always have to spend much money to give someone a gift. It could even be a gift of your time or listening.

Speak Your Appreciation.

Have the habit of telling people what you love or appreciate about them. Do not wait until you are at their funeral or after they have left you before you can say good things about them. Say it when it counts the most, and not when it is too late.

Acknowledge work well done regularly. Comments of appreciation can range from the specific like, "The way you handled that client meeting was brilliant," to the general, "I appreciate the great work you do." If you are not used to showing appreciation to other people, start small and then build up. It is the kind of practice that makes everyone feel better.

Use Touch

A good hug or a shoulder rub can be all a person needs to feel like they are appreciated. Touch, when appropriately used, can create a physical, emotional and spiritual connection that is critical at all stages of human life and relationship; from infanthood to adulthood.

Make Eye Contact.

Nothing feels worse than someone who cannot look you in the eyes when they are talking to you. It can make you feel uncomfortable, unwanted and even unimportant in some instances. Proper eye contact shows people that their presence, thoughts and words are important to you. When you are discussing with someone, look them straight in the eye. You are talking to a human being like you, not your phone or your shoes!

Boast in Public.

Famous or not, everyone contributes to this world. If there is someone in your life that you feel should be recognised, do something public about it. It could be a toast during a small dinner gathering or a speech at a big party. What is important is the intent to recognise someone in front of others.

Be Present.

Nothing says "you don't matter" more than answering a call or texting while you are with someone else. It is like being on a date while your date checks out the other candidates passing by! Be present for the people you are with. Sometimes, you may need to switch off your mobile phone or put it away. If you must take a call, apologise, and explain why and make it quick. It is just good manners.

Acknowledge Everyone

Remember that we are all part and parcel of the human race and deserve equal recognition. Whether you are famous or not, black or white, male or female, child or adult, everybody should be valued equally as a human being. You don’t know where life will take you, so it is important to respect anyone you come in contact with. You never know, that restaurant attendant you walked past, or that homeless person you refused to help could one day be someone you will want to do business with.

Say "hello".

Saying "hello" to someone is more than a mere greeting. It is an opportunity to show appreciation for being in the company of an individual.

Ask how they are doing.

There is no better icebreaker than asking how someone is doing. Inquire about a project they have been working on. Or you can ask how their family is doing. This shows your acknowledgement of them and the value you place on them as a person. When you ask an individual about their family, it shows your interest in the whole person. And like listening, it is a language of caring, which makes people feel like they matter, which affects performance and motivation in simple but effective ways.

Remember their name

If you don't know someone's name, feel free to ask; then memorise it. This can be challenging if you only see the person occasionally or have trouble remembering names. But it speaks volumes if you can meet a stranger one day and greet them by their name the next time you come across them. It also makes you more memorable.

Listen

Social scientists have said that listening is the language of love. When someone listens to you, whether it is an idea you are sharing or a project challenge you are working on, it is supportive if you have someone witness what you are going through. So, put away your mobile phone and any other form of distraction and just listen and be there for that individual that is talking to you.

Provide opportunity.

If you are leading a team, give training, education or work challenges that can stretch your team members to learn and grow. If you are not the mentor type, make sure everyone has access to the resources or people they need to keep developing their skills. Nurture a career path they are excited about. Be an advocate for everyone who is doing their best work in a job they love.

Focus on what they are doing right.

Did you see a friend or co-worker do something remarkable? I hope you let them know what an excellent job they did! Do not be afraid to speak up to let them know how good they are. Let your partner know how hard they are working or how your co-workers rocked a presentation. You can even tell yourself how great you are doing! Acknowledgement is a way of saying, "I see your greatness!"

Shine a light on someone's being

Praise is an excellent way to let people know you acknowledge them. Show people around you that you are a listening person. Attach something specific to your praise. So, instead of saying "that was great", say something like, "I liked how you stayed with the comments you got on your presentation. You gave everyone the time they needed in that meeting".

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IN LEADERSHIP

A leader's primary responsibility is to develop people to achieve desired results. What this means is that developing people is always work-in-progress. One of the best ways of bringing the best out of people is through leveraging the power of acknowledgement.

Everyone likes to be acknowledged or appreciated. Acknowledgement is tied to human’s need to belong. Therefore, the acknowledgement of other people is a very powerful way of meeting that psychological need. Leaders who make acknowledgement an integral part of their leadership style always stand out as a leader worth following.

Below are the ways acknowledgement of people can make you a better leader:

You will create a safe environment.

When team members feel safe, they will be relaxed and comfortable. This means they are more likely to share ideas and offer suggestions for improvement, which will result in a better performing team.

You will instil confidence in your team.

High levels of confidence will lead to greater creativity, innovation and willingness to take risks. It will also help improve the level of commitment team members have for their roles and their team.

You will foster a healthy team culture.

Acknowledgement and praise generate positive results within the team. This leads to a better attitude among team members, which means there will be a higher level of collaboration. It will also help improve team performance.

You will encourage openness within your team.

If a leader gives acknowledgement when team members perform well, they will find it easier to keep others accountable. They will challenge team members to perform at their best and encourage them to hold all team members responsible.

You will build stronger relationships.

Leadership is all about relationship and developing people. Acknowledging others means a leader is seeing what is good in other people. And since people have different communication preferences, a leader will also improve their communication skills.

Everyone is waiting to be appreciated or acknowledged in one way or the other. A simple and genuine acknowledgement can make a big difference in a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem.

Acknowledging people is a skill that everyone can learn. The more you practise acknowledgement, the more you will believe in the people you are acknowledging. It will also make you feel better about yourself. Look around you, and you will see people from all walks of life who crave this feeling of importance.

Acknowledgement is easily forgotten but can be a powerful tool in business. It can mark you as a great leader who easily motivates people. Leaders who acknowledge people and appreciate them are the ones who get followed.

Great leaders use acknowledgement to make people feel good about themselves. One good way to be a great leader is to find a way every day to make the people around you feel important.

DOES ACKNOWLEDGEMENT WORK?

Acknowledgement works because there are studies that prove it. Globoforce research in 2013 showed that 89 per cent of people were motivated by being told what they were doing right, rather than being told what they were doing wrong. Nearly 80 per cent of people looked for acknowledgement to be given close to the time of activity.

Another study by Bob Nelson showed very similar results. Here is an excerpt from the survey report by Bob Nelson:

"By taking the time to acknowledge each individual's ability to contribute to an organisation's success, we challenged our recruiting team to think out of the box for unique and cost-efficient ways to increase our candidate pipeline. This led to some recommendations from the team, one of which was to collect referrals from candidates when they came in for a round of in-person interviews. As a result of executing this strategy, we added over 20 per cent more candidates to our pipeline at no additional cost. By acknowledging these individuals, we created the environment for innovative ideas to emerge."

IMPORTANCE OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

It has been said that human beings not only want to be noticed by others but also want to be appreciated by them. These are two needs that everyone would like fulfilled. Usually, you would have these needs fulfilled by your family members, friends and coworkers. And at times, other people will enable you to feel noticed and appreciated. If you are famous or well-known, this could cause you to have these needs fulfilled more often.

When people acknowledge you, it makes you feel good, and this leaves a positive impact on your life. When you feel good, there is the possibility that you would want to pass the good feeling on to the people around you. And these people could also benefit from the positive impact of the acknowledgement you received.

On the other hand, if you are not acknowledged by other people, it could make you feel bad. It could hurt you, and the people around you could also suffer as a result. By feeling bad, you may want to pass on your pains to other people.

And to acknowledge another person, you need to be present so you are able to place your attention on the other person. If you are not present, it will affect your ability to notice how the person looks and to understand what they are saying.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT BASICS

Eye Contact. Eye contact is important when it comes to making another person feel acknowledged. If this does not exist or you are not consistent with it, it could cause someone to feel ignored or unimportant.

Handshake. Shaking someone else’s hand is another thing you can do to make someone feel acknowledged. Not doing this could make the person feel unimportant or overlooked.

Good Manners. Having and showing good manners can make another person feel respected and important. When this does not happen, they can feel unappreciated and even invisible.

Curiosity. While some people talk openly about what matters to them or what they have achieved, not everyone does. This means that some people are going to give clues as to what they want to be appreciated for, and some people won't. That is why curiosity is important when it comes to acknowledgement of people. If an individual does not open up to you, you need to be interested in what matters to them. And even if they open up, you still need to be curious, or else the conversation may not go far.

Empathy. Being curious is one thing, but if you do not care about other people, you may not go far in life. Empathy means that you can put your own needs and wants aside and focus on the needs of another person. This will connect you with their needs and wants, and you can find out what brings them joy and fulfilment.

Action. You can improve your communication skills by changing how you behave, and this can work well. Another approach is to be interested in what goes on in the life of the people around you, and their behaviour towards you will naturally improve.

If you are not usually with people or are not interested in what goes on in their life, it might feel strange or uncomfortable when you do. However, with time, this will change, and it will soon become your second nature.